I had a dream! A dream that one day a cookie would be clicked. And on that day a smile would break upon the face of humanity. The world would know the simple joys of clicking and happiness. I’m here today to tell you, friends, that dream has become a reality; and my god does it taste so very, very sweet. With a pinch of simplicity, a dash of charm, and a sprinkling of addiction; I present to you the collective dream of the people….Cookie Clicker.
Step 1. Cookie
Everybody loves cookies. Mrs. Fields, The Keebler Elves, and Famous Amos have been taking advantage of the world’s infatuation with cookies for decades. There are thousands upon thousands of varieties of cookie for every taste, mood, and occasion. Chocolate chip, peanut butter, gingerbread, and oatmeal raisin have been satiating the minds and tummies of billions of people all over the world; yet the formula has always stayed the same—the cookie is eaten.
Step 2. Click
Now click a button.
Do it again.
Felt good, didn’t it?
Since the dawn of man, clicking has been in our blood. It is written on the very code of our DNA. Ingrained into our minds and spirits. The internet was invented for the sole purpose of satisfying mans’ need to click. Clicking is power. Look at Dorothy; a little girl in ruby red slippers. She clicked her heels only three times and was able to master inter-dimensional teleportation. Plus, she had munchkins for friends—and they’re always fun.
Step 3. Pure bliss
Both the cookie and the click have been monumental in shaping modern society, so you have to ask yourself, what would happen if you combined the cookie and the click?
Cookie Clicker creator, Orteil, dared to answer that question,
Your cookies will rewrite the fundamental laws of the universe.
Damn right, they will! The game begins when you produce a cookie by clicking it. Click it again and it will produce a second cookie. After fifteen clicks, you are able to buy your first upgrade—a cursor that will automatically click the cookie every 10 seconds. There are a total of ten ways to manufacture cookies that you unlock as you progress; absurd things like grandmas that later turn into aliens and time machines that bring in cookies from all over the space-time continuum. You can upgrade your methods of manufacturing with assets like lubricated dentures and a bingo hall, that will increase your grandmas’ efficiency and Cps (cookies per second). For example, I am currently sitting at 152 grandmas pumping out 9 million cookies per second.
The game, if you want to call it that, eventually gets to a point where it plays itself. With all ten manufacturing outlets running with multiple upgrades, you can just sit back and watch the cookies roll out; leaving you free to go about doing other things in your busy life. You can come back at any time and discover that your baked goods bounty has risen to epic proportions. You can then spend all your cookies on more manufacturers and upgrades to further increase your cookie output—as well as your descent into madness. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you hooked with its simplicity and constant reward/progression structure.
One benefit to checking in on the game every once in a while are special random power boosts. If you’re lucky enough to catch one, you will get a limited time of serious cookie producing power. One boost gave a 10x multiplier to each mouse click for 30 seconds, and another doubled my manufacturers output for 60 seconds. These boosts are rare, but it’s a blast when you do get a chance to take advantage of them.
Now, if you turn off your PC and come back to Cookie Clicker later on the same PC, the game will pick up from where you left off. But what about if you want to continue mass producing the delicious desserts on another PC? We’ve got you covered. Chokladakan created a Chrome app, called Cookie Crumbs, that saves your progress to the Google server, so that you can access your existing Cookie Clicker game from any PC, as long as you are logged in with that Google account.
In summation, the game is simple, and barely even a game; but it is the first tab I open every time I turn on my PC, and I challenge you to give it a shot and not find yourself clicking like a lunatic to build your cookie empire. I can’t stop, because the game balances on a very thin line between “making you feel like your accomplishing something” and “not being an overwhelming time-sink.” There’s no telling how long I will continue to play Cookie Clicker; probably not for very long. But for the time being—Cookie Clicker is just plain fun.
On December 5, 1986, Josh was born into this world pink-faced and squalling. His only thoughts were, "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHO ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE? AND WHY THE HELL AM I NAKED?" 19 years later he bought an Xbox 360 and now plays and writes about video games. Life is funny that way.