Alas, poor Eragon… I knew him well for all of a few scant hours. His tales of derring-do and high adventure on the back of a winged dragon should have held people in rapt attention instead of felling them into a lengthy slumber from boredom. His influence might have been felt by the evil emperor king Galbatorix if only he was not waylaid by a vile Dark Lord Shade whose name escapes me like the fleeting memories of this game completed barely a week ago by Yours Truly.

Oh the complex web we weave when we set out to rip off pay homage to the influences of our youth (specifically Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings), only to fail utterly by neither surpassing nor even living up to the standards set by those that have come before. In short, Eragon is about as trite and ineffectual a video game experience as it is possible to have not only when it comes to fantasy but gaming in general. Anyone else recall how brilliant Conan the Barbarian was only to watch it mercilessly cut down by the futility of the “me too” sword-and-sandal insults epics of the 1980

In trying to pin down what exactly made the world of Eragon so bland and boring, one must first examine how empty and lifeless the environments are. To be fair, each level is reasonably large in terms of sending players ’round and ’round completing tasks and battling evildoers for 15 to 20 minutes at a time. But on the other hand, players will battle said evildoers across repetitive and otherwise empty levels that hint at something greater than what you

You know there is trouble in paradise when you

You have a combat game on the Xbox and it

The basic hack-and-slash is always fun for a bit but the tedium sets in quickly. It

Buried somewhere in each level is a hidden dragon egg. Finding this dragon egg will unlock concept artwork or behind the scenes videos, absolutely none of which is fascinating. The art in particular reminded me of the fantasy dragons and drawings we all saw the kid wearing black and long hair back in high school drawing on his binder instead of paying attention to the teacher. So if you’ve gone through high school before you