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Genital Jousting penetrates Steam with a story mode and an eSports championship — NSFW

Genital Jousting has pulled out of Steam Early Access, delivering a load of new features to eager fans, including a long, hard story mode, a warm, soft plush toy, and an eSports competition, which promises a thrilling public exhibition by some of the game’s most experienced participants. Created by indie developer Free Lives and intended for a mature audience, Genital Jousting became infamous as an arcade game thanks in no small part to its sex toy shaped controllers. It has left more than 300,000 very satisfied, or at least “Very Positive,” players since it released all over Early Access late last year.

The Steam release measures in at $6.99, and comes well endowed with a whole load of hot, throbbing content, including a party mode, online and local multiplayer, allowing for up to eight simultaneous partners, and an entirely new story mode featuring an inspirational tale of self-improvement. The story places you balls-deep in the life of John, a dick who desperately wants to find love. Equipped with dynamic voiceover narration, the depth and girth of this tale has rocked the world of at least one happy participant.

Genital Jousting’s story mode is the greatest narrative ever created for the medium of video games. This is the Citizen Kane of penis video games.”
-Fork Parker, CFO of Devolver Digital 

If you’re still not sure you want to get involved in jousting genitals, even from the privacy of your own home, you can watch some of the most endowed players in a veritable orgy of technically skill during the Genital Jousting Espurts World Championships. In what promises to be the climax of competitive gaming, Devolver Digital and Free Lives are coming together with some of the greatest Genital Jousting players in the world to put on an arousing display not seen in any other competitive game. Starting January 18th, those who like to watch can get an eyeful of alluring live content broadcast directly from the Steam page, including competitive battles, story mode demonstrations, and even score a few freebies.

Those who get off on something a little more tactile can bring home a soft, cuddily keepsake in the form of the Official Genital Jousting Squeezable Plush via the Devolver Digital Merch Store for $30. More than just a fashionable sundress, this plush craves stimulation, and comes with a custom ‘spurt’ sound chip, as well as an impressively long Steam-y code, which can be redeemed for one copy of Genital Jousting.

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