Once, while my wife and I were dating, I managed to get as far as getting her to play Diablo co-op with me. Unfortunately I only had one disk, so she had to play a spawned copy, which meant she and I were both fighters.
So first thing she does when we're in town is go up to the barmaid.
Guin : Hey baby, can I have a drink?
Me : Um, what are you doing?
Guin : Isn't this what you guys do? Look at her boobs!
Me : Um, let's just go to the dungeon and fight some monsters
Guin : Okay!
(sometime later, in the dungeon)
*Guin stands outside a door while monters are hitting her*
Me : Honey, move away from the door so I can fight some.
Guin : Okay (still stands there)
Me : Honey, you have to move away from the door. I can't fight them while you're blocking.
Guin : Oh, THAT'S ME! Sorry.
*Still later, while fighting*
Guin: Did you just hit me with an arrow?
Me : Sorry, you stepped in front of the monster!
Guin : Did you just hit me again?
Me : Sorry.
*Guin picks up all the loot*
Me : Hey wait, what about me?
Guin : What about you?! You shot me!
And that was the closest I came to getting her to play with me