Is there anything goofier than a baby giraffe?

Sorry, I'm somewhat broke and in no need of the items in question. Good luck, though. You might try eBay fixed price listings. You'll get a much larger audience (obviously).

If nothing else, that poster is rather nice. Almost makes me wish it were a game.

Good Old Games

Pay what you want (minimum $1) for Divine Divinity. Beat the average to get Beyond Divinity. Pay more than $12.50 and get the Divinity II: Developer's Cut preorder.

You're doing it wrong.

It is known.

Either, but usually a tablespoon.

It's from an advertisement and it's fake. But still great.

I wonder when the LHC boner jokes will stop...

Side note:  That site seems to primarily exist as a spot for kids to upload videos of themselves beating the crap out of each other, as well as innocent bystanders.  I weep for today's kids. 

World Star Hip Hop exists primarily to make you lose faith in humanity, period. Their comments section makes Yahoo! Answers look like a Mensa gathering.

Gah, I forgot all about The Fly and it's one of my favorite movies ever.

John Carpenter's remake of The Thing.

Hey, the lamp's running away. - Abe Simpson

That page uses the gyroscope in mobile devices, by the way.

Obligatory

Mandatory Binding Arbitration!

Will that fit in the thread topic?

It's pretty much my favorite book ever, so I'm very okay with this. I would much rather it be a three film epic than some hour and a half Michael Bay Summer Shitfest.

Trying to speed through them at first is a good way to get to the Game Over screen in a hurry. Take it easy until you know the levels well; then you can go through them quickly if you wish (and once you're good enough you'll be able to get the rings quickly as well).

Sonic 1 is a good game, but Sonic 2 is the best because it adds the spin dash maneuver (down + jump) which makes it a lot easier to dispatch enemies and get through the levels quickly. Plus I just think the levels are much better than any of the other games. Having said that, Sonic 3, Sonic & Knuckles, and Sonic CD are all good games as well. I tried playing Sonic Rush but I just really dislike that engine. Never tried any of the other modern games.

I could be biased though because 2 was the first one I played, and I played it a lot. I can complete the game in well under an hour these days with maybe one or two deaths tops.

I've had it happen three times now but I'm almost certain two of those times were when I was on the Futuremark forums, so it's definitely not just Gaming Trend.

Why, when viewing this thread, did my iPod launch the App Store and load the Slots Journey page? Is this some new form of advertising, or is it one of my background Apps doing it?

Me neither, but don't feel bad - I don't visit any news sites. I get all the news I need from the numerous web forums I frequent.

Post-patch. Pre-patch I couldn't get into a game at all without it crashing or giving me a black screen.

Seems to work perfectly well for me now.

Any ideas?

Better stock up now.

The only thing Doom 3 defined was disappointment.

Working fine here.

"Publishers" doesn't really mean an awful lot. Valve is a publisher. GOG.com is a publisher. If you mean Ye Olde Video Game Publishers like EA, then...why? If developers can get a better deal distributing with EA, then why wouldn't they? I highly doubt they're giving EA any kind of exclusivity. EA wants to build a userbase and this is just another tactic for doing so. And hey, if this causes Valve to lower their take from developers, then isn't that what makes competition great?

Maybe G4 felt that they didn't have enough hot female hosts doing stupid things in between reruns.

Sara Jean Underwood's 24/7 Yoga Marathon with special guests Alison Haislip and Layla Kayleigh.

Yeah you're right, I think it was American League, not Major League.

Here's a fun Box Score.

Orioles vs Red Sox goes 17 innings. Chris Davis becomes the first position player since 1968 to get a win, striking out Adrian Gonzalez and inducing a double play to end the game.

Fileplanet was a really good website twelve years ago. No accounts to speak of, minimal advertising, direct links as far as the eye could see!

Then, like much the rest of the Internet, it turned to complete shit.

The original was an extremely well made game, technologically. Very good performance and virtually bug free from what I recall. I liked it (and the sequel) quite a bit and I'm still using my Max Payne mouse pad to this very day. That being said, I have zero interest in playing it on my iTouch.

Enjoy the game, though. Few things are more satisfying than unloading both barrels of the sawed-off into some guys face in super slow-mo.

Eww, mustard!

I got it while it was free and played around with it for a few days. Blew some big holes in the ground; made a little zoo with the different creatures in it; got bored and deleted it. If they update it with some more stuff I may reinstall.

Grand Theft Auto 3 and Grand Theft Auto Chinatown are both $.99 this weekend.

So I got my first iOS device this Christmas in the form of a 4th Gen iPod Touch and after a month or so of screwing around on Apple's App Store and playing countless variations of "runners" and "scrollers" and "connect 3s" I decided to jailbreak this beast and see what it could really do. To this point, I've uncovered the following.

DOSPad - An iOS port of the wonderful DOS emulator DOSBox. At the moment I have these games installed:

Ultima IV - Seems to be working perfectly well.
Dune 2 - Sound is a bit crackly, probably due to performance, but the game seems very playable. It has issues with the options menu, though (complains about not being able to read the config file and basically hangs the game).
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Seems to work perfectly (though it is just a text adventure).
Alone in the Dark - Performance is a little off but could probably be solved with some tweaking.
Star Trek 25th Anniversary - Performance is a little lacking and the ship combat is kinda woeful with the touchscreen controls, but the adventure elements are fine.
Wasteland - Can't get it to start at all, which is weird, because I can get it to work fine with DOSBox on the PC.

It would be nice if there were an interface that allowed you to customize the settings for each game, but otherwise I'm liking it a lot.

ScummVM - An iOS port of the wonderful ScummVM engine that lets you play a plethora of old adventure titles. At the moment I have Lure of the Temptress, Beneath a Steel Sky, King's Quest, and Secret of Monkey Island, and they all seem to be working perfectly.

GemRB - This is an open source engine that runs Infinity Engine games (Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Temple of Elemental Evil, Planescape: Torment). The only one I have is BG2 but I'm afraid it would be a tad large to fit on my puny 8GB iPod (which currently has about 150 megs free space). I'd love to hear other peoples' experience with this, though. I can imagine how great it would be on a tablet.

iMAME4all - MAME for iOS. I don't have much to say about it because I've never gotten into arcade games.

Snes9x EX - This is an excellent, free SNES emulator for iOS. I've tried it out on a handful of games and its handled all of them pretty much flawlessly.

Ideally I'd like to get a gamepad that attaches to the iPod but the options available (iControlPad) seem pretty expensive. Maybe a Wiimote and some ingenuity (read: Duct Tape) are in order.

So what are your experiences with the alternative gaming apps available on iOS?

And why did they blur out its face?

1NSANE
IN2ANE
INSAN3
INS4NE
IN5ANE

Better come up with a new gimmick before the sixth one, though.

The Kindle standard, touch, and keyboard are really just meant for reading books.

Then why do they have built in WiFi and links to the Amazon Storefront? Why is one of the advertised bullet point features the ability to shop for books on it? Is that just to tease its customers with functionality that's barely usable?

MonkeyFinger, the web browser is still in the "Experimental" section of the menu, but buttons to the Amazon Storefront are on numerous other screens with no mention of it being "experimental functionality". I don't think they're the same applications.

So my dad got a Kindle Touch and it's just absurdly slow. You click the shopping cart, and fifteen seconds later it starts to load Amazon. You click the search bar, and five seconds later the keyboard shows up. You click the a, three seconds later an a appears, etc. Often times after showing a search result, if I want to hit the back button the entire thing becomes completely unresponsive and I have to hit the home button and start the process anew. Doing anything aside from actually reading a book on this thing is just a chore.

Resetting the system makes it slightly more responsive for a while but I really hope they release an update that fixes this shit soon. So far my impression is: I'd rather have a Nook. Or an iPad. Or a netbook. Or a laptop. Or an actual book...