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1  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: The Dirty Joke Thread [NSFW text - duh] on: September 01, 2012, 11:27:10 PM
One day in the forest, 3 guys were hiking along a trail when they were suddenly attacked by a huge pack of Indians and knocked out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief says to them, "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of the same fruit and bring them back to me."

The men run into the forest to find the items that will save their lives.  After a while the first man returns with 10 apples. The chief then orders him to stick all ten of them in his ass and to not make any expression whatsoever while doing it. He has a little bit of trouble with the first one but the pain is too much and starts crying while trying to put the next one in. He was killed immediately.

The next man returns carrying 10 grapes. The chief orders him to perform the same task as the first man. The second man succeeds in inserting nine grapes.  As he starts to reach for the tenth and final grape the man is overcome with laughter. He is also killed.

The first two guys meet again in heaven.  The first guy asks the second, "What happened to you?  You only needed one more grape and you'd have been freed!"

The second guy starts laughing again at the memory.  Between the gasps he says, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
2  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: The Dirty Joke Thread [NSFW text - duh] on: September 01, 2012, 09:21:22 PM
Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."
3  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: The Dirty Joke Thread [NSFW text - duh] on: August 27, 2012, 05:51:36 AM
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."
4  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: on: August 05, 2012, 02:43:33 AM
I'll just put my eggs here....
5  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: (personal text) How would you decipher this? on: July 28, 2012, 04:05:51 PM

Quote from: Dante Rising on July 24, 2012, 08:35:26 AM

Nah, different girl. But it does seem like EVERY girl I know refuses to give a straight answer. I just had a conversation with one of my female friends yesterday about how woman should just tell a man "no", instead of being nice and unintentionally leading him on. She insisted that woman just felt bad about hurting guys feelings (especially if they see the guy every day) and they always felt the need to let guys down gently.....over time. You know, let things die out longitudinally. I told her this is exactly what guys hate about women. Trying to let a guy down gently often comes across as a mixed signal where the guy thinks he still has a chance.
They don't want to totally write you off.  You know, in case you have a rich uncle or you win the lottery or something....
6  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: May 29, 2012, 12:50:07 AM
7  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: May 29, 2012, 12:43:32 AM
8  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: April 22, 2012, 06:51:09 PM
Fixed, now it's a link.  Click on it ...if you think you can handle it.

 Tongue
9  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: April 22, 2012, 04:05:54 PM
10  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: on: April 20, 2012, 06:01:31 PM
11  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: Avatar the Last Airbender sequel! Legend of Korra on: April 03, 2012, 05:01:32 PM
First two episodes were available online last weekend.  If you missed them you can find them here:
http://dubhappy.com/the-legend-of-korra-episode-1/
http://dubhappy.com/the-legend-of-korra-episode-2/
12  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: Avatar the Last Airbender sequel! Legend of Korra on: February 23, 2012, 10:12:23 AM

Quote from: wonderpug on February 20, 2012, 11:00:51 PM

I don't know how a live action film could pull off Toph.

M. Night style.
13  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Is Steam down? on: December 22, 2011, 04:48:04 PM
Isg, if you click the offline button without an active internet connection what do you get?  My experience is the same as Rocketman's, no offline mode without an online mode connection first. Since my main computer is now a laptop I've been SOL for Steam games while traveling if I can't get an internet connection.   crybaby  I also have to leave the laptop in standby because if Steam or the computer get rebooted it will check for internet again and I'm stuck.  I've solved the problem with a tethering cellphone but that's not exactly a cheap or foolproof option. 
14  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: My weekend was assassinated by Minecraft on: December 09, 2011, 05:17:04 AM
Paul Soares is doing an updated tutorial for 1.0.0 here http://youtu.be/B36Ehzf2cxE

By the way I met Paul and his family at Minecon, pretty cool guy.  I happened to be wearing my Octopus Overlords shirt and he remembered the site.  Turns out he's one of us old timers from the Gone Gold days.  icon_cool
15  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: My weekend was assassinated by Minecraft on: November 20, 2011, 10:52:42 PM
Word is they've hired a new programmer to work on NPC AI so the people in the towns should improve at some point.  1.0 really isn't complete, there's still lots for them to do.  It's more of a beta-beta.   retard  I think they're just calling it 1.0 because of the promise to release 1.0 at Minecon.  Maybe they'll release 2.0 for Minecon 2012.   icon_lol
 
16  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: EU bans claim that water can prevent dehydration on: November 20, 2011, 10:28:56 PM

Quote from: Destructor on November 20, 2011, 02:56:04 AM

"A meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy...."

Parma is a sandwich!
17  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Looking for an Oblivion mod to fix the NPC leveling issue on: November 19, 2011, 03:35:55 PM
You could try Tamriel Immersion Experience.  Everything is non-leveled, NPCs and loot, if that's what you're looking for.   Just one 3MB .esp so it's no effort to install.
18  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Minecon, anyone going? on: November 17, 2011, 08:37:04 PM
Waiting to board the plane to Las Vegas to go to Minecon this weekend.  Anyone else going?  I like Minecraft well enough but my wife has gone absolutely nuts over it.  So I'm going along to watch her and my kids geek out.

If anyone else is going to be there maybe we can meet up.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre using Forums
19  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: [Sports] Florida Marlins are now the Miami Marlins... on: November 12, 2011, 09:15:48 PM
20  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: My weekend was assassinated by Minecraft on: September 24, 2011, 05:29:20 PM
Mooshroom.
21  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: My weekend was assassinated by Minecraft on: September 21, 2011, 01:56:22 AM
Don't place your bed touching an outside wall?  Must still be an issue.
22  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: My weekend was assassinated by Minecraft on: September 13, 2011, 03:46:32 PM

Quote from: Covenant on September 12, 2011, 12:33:00 PM

I played a good amount of this over the weekend and didn't encounter a single bug.


5) Villages. Definitely rare as I travelled all over the place trying to find one and didn't run across anything. This was my one disappointment, as I wanted to find a village to set up as my home but couldn't
...
9) Endermen. A fun new enemy.  Not as hard to kill as I was expecting but the porting mechanic makes them interesting.  They also drop ender pearls sometimes. Not sure what those are used for.

That's about all I can remember off hand.  My experience has been that personally it's bug free and really enjoyable. I'll be sticking with this version until it becomes official.

I haven't found many bugs either although I really don't play that heavily.  Try the seed 'bAnAnAs' (uppercase A's, it's case sensitive) I found three villages in close proximity with that one.  Ender pearls supposedly can be used against endermen.  I think if you hold one and right-click on an enderman you can push it away from you.
23  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: July 24, 2011, 08:15:10 AM
24  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Latest Patch for Fallout New Vegas is a game killer on: July 21, 2011, 03:57:55 AM
Got any mods installed?  Disable those first.  I bet one (or more) of them doesn't like the patch.
25  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: Looking for TV recommendations on: July 04, 2011, 06:33:47 PM

Quote from: Purge on July 04, 2011, 03:17:06 PM

Lastly, I'd get LED over LCD - regional backlight control = better black.
Local dimming (or regional backlight) is not a given on LED TVs. Most LED TVs these days are the edge-lit type because it lets them make very thin TVs (it's probably cheaper for the manufacturer too).  The downside is that lighting the screen from the edges can cause uneven backlighting.  If you want to go this way you need to look for a TV that says it uses a local dimming full array LED design.
26  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Might & Magic Heroes VI Beta Impressions [pic heavy] on: July 03, 2011, 08:50:09 PM

Quote from: Razgon on July 02, 2011, 08:19:10 AM

Sadly, Homm V is the worst of the series - I love them, but get Kings Bounty instead while waiting for VI.

You can get King's Bounty Platinum (all three games: Legend, Armored Princess and Crossworlds) for $8.74 from Amazon's download service.  Pretty cheap option if you want to take Razgon's advice.

27  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: First sign of the apocalypse on: June 28, 2011, 02:56:49 PM
Guess he's talking about this.  Are the emails trying to blow this out to be some kind of terrorist attack?  It's just some stupid kids pulling a very dangerous prank.
28  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Safe Zone on: June 19, 2011, 04:40:35 AM
Why wait.  You can play Organ Trail now.
29  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Borderlands Impressions incoming! Level Cap going up. on: April 24, 2011, 07:19:04 PM
There's also a video of the proposal:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxzOIns-CyM
30  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Games that would work well on a touch screen PC... on: February 13, 2011, 10:32:39 PM

Quote from: darrvid on February 05, 2011, 06:15:46 PM

I can't really tell how to compare the specs of the Duo to listed requirements. Anyone know what Intel NM10 Express Chipset Video compares to?

According to a review I found the NM10 in the Duo gets a 143 on 3DMark06.  A typical i3 laptop with Intel graphics gets about 1350-1400.  I think you can pretty much write off anything 3D.

Laptop Mag Duo review
31  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: January 13, 2011, 04:45:02 PM
" Yeah honey, that's real sexy.  Maybe you can wear that again later.  But right now, YOU'RE BURNING MY F**KING DINNER!!!"
32  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Web browser gaming is the future? on: December 05, 2010, 01:29:23 AM
What?  In my scenario, said provider is Comcast.  It's another revenue stream that they control, that's why I think they would buy them.  I'm also thinking that if Comcast was providing the service they can put Onlive servers in their local offices and prioritize the traffic.  That would probably solve most of the issues the service has now.

Lets try an example situation.  You want to play a new game, you don't have a console or PC that will play it but you do have the option to play it on your cable box.  Do you spend $400 to buy a console and the game or do you spend $5 or $10 to rent it through On Demand?  For the infrequent/casual gamers that might look like a pretty good deal.  They get pretty much the same experience and they're probably not going to be too bothered by a little less fidelity and minor glitches.  Those that want the best quality experience might actually look past the consoles and get a top of the line PC instead.
33  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Web browser gaming is the future? on: December 04, 2010, 08:53:38 PM
Isn't that what Onlive does now?  Tycho at Penny Arcade was talking about playing Batman: AA on a Mac through the Onlive browser plugin a couple weeks ago.

I'll give you a better prediction.  A cable provider (Comcast) or a cable box manufacturer (Motorola) will buy out Onlive and integrate it into their cable boxes.  Now you've got games through On Demand.  Who needs a console when you can play any game through a device you've got by default because you have cable?  Bye bye next gen consoles. 
34  Non-Gaming / Hardware / Software Hell / Re: Notebook video driver updates on: November 29, 2010, 04:37:26 PM

Quote from: Ridah on November 29, 2010, 08:06:24 AM

I went to the link, but it notes this:

"Notebook users: Some laptops, especially older ones, require that you get your drivers directly from the manufacturer. If you attempt to install a driver from the NVIDIA site and get a message saying the driver could not find a compatable device then you will need to get your driver from the laptop manufacturer. Unfortuantely for you, this likely means that this driver will not have the latest feature set. NVIDIA is working with laptop manufacturers to eliminate this issue."

So basically he is saying my problem doesn't have a fix.

No.  You were able to select your video card and download the driver for it.  If it weren't supported you wouldn't have been able to do that.  It's just something broken in the install procedure.  I had the exact same thing happen with an old ATI desktop card.  Follow the uninstall procedure and you'll be fine.  It's not much more than what you typically do on a desktop: uninstall driver, run driver cleaner, install new driver.  Worst case if I'm wrong, you to reinstall the old driver.
35  Non-Gaming / Hardware / Software Hell / Re: Notebook video driver updates on: November 29, 2010, 05:31:08 AM
I found this post, sounds like it may be a common problem with this release.  There's a link in post 7 that walks through steps to uninstall the old driver before installing the new one.  That should solve the problem. 

36  Non-Gaming / Hardware / Software Hell / Re: Notebook video driver updates on: November 25, 2010, 09:04:52 PM
It has the GT 330M, right?  You can download drivers from Nvidia's website.  260.99 are the latest WHQL ones, dated October 25th.  The custom driver requirements of the older generation laptops are mostly gone now.  You may still run into it on business class machines using pro-type CAD cards like the Quadros and Firepros.
37  Gaming / Console / PC Gaming / Re: Sailing (ala Master & Commander)? on: November 24, 2010, 02:13:01 AM
East India Company?  Probably not what you're looking for but most games for that era seem to be trading and/or pirate type games.

If you're looking for a simulator, maybe Virtual Sailor with some tall ships added.
38  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: November 11, 2010, 04:11:29 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on November 10, 2010, 07:02:45 PM


Ohhhh.... I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK....
39  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: This Is Fun Pt 3: This Time It's Personal! (possibly NSFW) on: October 19, 2010, 04:18:54 AM

Quote from: PR_GMR on October 18, 2010, 09:50:39 PM



Shouldn't that say Double-Stuff? puke
40  Non-Gaming / Off-Topic / Re: Hilarious video - iPhone vs. HTC Evo 4 on: September 20, 2010, 08:23:20 AM
My friend had the Evo for a while but traded it in on an iPhone 4.  I think it was the battery life and performance weren't quite there yet that made him switch.  He's no Apple fanboy, that was his second try with an Android phone.  I think he's tried to avoid the iPhone exactly because of the Apple fanboy crap.  Apple's got a big head start though so whatcha gonna do?  Things may look different in another year or two.

If you're looking at Android phones you might want to check out the Samsung Galaxy S (Epic if you want 4G) too.  Here's a comparison of iPhone vs Evo vs Galaxy.

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