Worst Movie of All time candidate

[WorkingMike]

The Blair Witch Project was horrible too. Two hours of someone screaming "Where's the map!!??"

[Larraque]

Four pages and not one mention of the masterpiece known as:



Without a doubt, nothing you have seen will prepare you for the room. In three separate watchings I still feel ill prepared to describe the plot. The main character, Johnny, who is a professional banker, doesn't get his promotion, so his girlfriend doesn't love him anymore and decides she's going to leave him - despite everyone in her life loving Johnny and wanting them to be together. However, rather than be an adult about it, she fucks around on him with his best friend, with disastrous consequences. However, what makes this horrible movie worth watching is just how laughably bad it all is.

Here's an example of one of the most random scenes in cinematic history:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9Ew3TIeVQ&feature=related

As for the plot, the wife and I have a theory that this is a re-telling of one of Tommy's relationships from his perspective.

[Purge]

Match Point. I wanted to kill everyone.

[CeeKay]

Spymate has to be up top somewhere.

[WinoMcCougarstein]

I saw the first Twilight movie.  I thought that was it.  Until I watched 2012 the other night.  My God, what a piece of shit.

[heloder]

Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave

[Dreamshadow]

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer.   Worst movie ever.  (Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

[cheeba]

(Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

...what? That was one of the funniest movies and funniest songs ever.

[Dreamshadow]

(Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

...what? That was one of the funniest movies and funniest songs ever.

Respectfully, I'll disagree.  The song was amusing.  The rest was not.  A friend talked me into going (and paying for both of us for it.)  Granted, I dislike Southpark for the most part too so that may factor in.

[CeeKay]

Now I got that song stuck in my head 

[Knightshade Dragon]

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer.   Worst movie ever.  (Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

Jesus Chris Vampire HUNTER.  And yes...I've seen it.  It is horrible.

[Suitably Ironic Moniker]

There are some truly retarded nominees in this thread.

[EngineNo9]

Apparently some people like it, but after about the 3rd interlude with stop-motion animated slabs of meat I turned off Lunacy because I just didn't know wtf was going on.

[Isgrimnur]

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer.   Worst movie ever.  (Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

Jesus Chris Vampire HUNTER.  And yes...I've seen it.  It is horrible.

Dude, I own that movie.  It's worth it just for Mary Magnum in leather pants.  And the absurd comedy is worth it.

"Is that you, bowl of cherries?"

And it answers that age old question: Just how many atheists can you fit in a Jeep?

[WarPig]

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer.   Worst movie ever.  (Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

Jesus Chris Vampire HUNTER.  And yes...I've seen it.  It is horrible.

Einsteinium brought that movie to a "bad movie night" with some of our friends; it won hands down.

[Knightshade Dragon]

Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer.  Worst movie ever.  (Though I walked out of the South Park movie, right about the time Uncle F$#%er ended.)

Jesus Chris Vampire HUNTER.  And yes...I've seen it.  It is horrible.

Einsteinium brought that movie to a "bad movie night" with some of our friends; it won hands down.

My wife came into the house right at the tail end of the movie and proclaimed "That better be almost over..."

As far as how many can you fit into the jeep, it appears to approach infinity in this movie.

*smacks chest*  Body of Christ!

[Dreamshadow]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that laughed his way through that one.

[rittchard]

Glitter.  Little you guys have mentioned can come close to Glitter. Gigli anyone?

I never saw Glitter but I did see Gigli.  I really didn't think it was half as bad as people/critics made it out to be.  It was just a rather by the numbers comedy/romance, and if you genuinely like Ben Affleck and/or JHo, it's just not that horrible.  Of course I also liked a lot of the other movies people have been mentioning in this thread, which goes to show you how lenient I am, and should go to show you just how bad The Crappening really was 

[Huw the Poo]

I might have a candidate, but I haven't seen it yet.  When I was shopping in Tesco a few years ago I saw one of those bargain-bin things full of cheap DVDs.  On a whim I picked up Spiders 2.  It was £1 and wasn't even in a proper DVD case, it was a slimline case.  It has to be a piece of shit but I still haven't got around to watching it.

I haven't even seen the first Spiders!  That's how crazy I am!

[metallicorphan]

I might have a candidate, but I haven't seen it yet.  When I was shopping in Tesco a few years ago I saw one of those bargain-bin things full of cheap DVDs.  On a whim I picked up Spiders 2.  It was £1 and wasn't even in a proper DVD case, it was a slimline case.  It has to be a piece of shit but I still haven't got around to watching it.

I haven't even seen the first Spiders!  That's how crazy I am!

ahh so you are the one who buys from the Tesco Bargain bins

i can't believe you saw this cover,and it made you buy it...Tesco should of paid you the £1

'they're back ...and this time they're breeding mad' 


i think i wanna see this film now!!



that reminds me though -a long time ago,me and some friends saw a film called The Witch..it got banned and got renamed as Superstition ..i saw this on DVD for sale,pretty much like Huw,in sale but at HMV.....i can remember loving that film and being frightened of it back in the early 80s or whenever it was.....when i watched it on DVD,it was pretty damn shite!!

[Octavious230]

I'd also like to nominate 2012. Watched it the other day and was shocked at how bad the movie was. Russia should nuke us for how bad their accents were butchered in the movie. I just loved how the ladies husband gets chewed up in a gear and only a hour later she's all snuggling up with her former husband like it's their honeymoon. 

[ArmyOfOne]

See, I don't think it should count if it was intended to be a crappy movie.

The worst movie ever... Sideways

The tag line should've told me I'd rather have my brain scraped.. "In search of wine. In search of women. In search of themselves."

I actually had to force myself to watch that the whole way through.  It became a personal challenge.

[whiteboyskim]

I have the winner, and I dare anyone on the boards to sit through this and make heads or tails of it:

Six String Samurai. The sole redeeming quality is the music which is pretty much badass. The final "guitar-off" between Buddy and Death (yup) rocks hard. Then they swordfight. Badly. And a lot. Oh the pain.

[sgoldj]

A PRINCESS OF MARS (in case I didn't say it before)

[Huw the Poo]

See, I don't think it should count if it was intended to be a crappy movie.

Oh, well, if that's the case my vote is definitely still Gerry.

A PRINCESS OF MARS (in case I didn't say it before)

This is being shown on SyFy all the time at the moment.  I'll have to check it out!

[Razgon]

I'd also like to nominate 2012. Watched it the other day and was shocked at how bad the movie was. Russia should nuke us for how bad their accents were butchered in the movie. I just loved how the ladies husband gets chewed up in a gear and only a hour later she's all snuggling up with her former husband like it's their honeymoon. 

haha, you know, the guy playing the russian Don/Mafiaboss, is actually danish :-D Or rather, an ex-jugoslavian actor who has been living in Denmark for many years - Slatko...he's awesome! Really really brilliant, and he really saved the movie for me.

[Octavious230]

Well I was more referring to the pilot. Hell he might even really be Russian which would make it even more insulting.

*Edit* Looked it up and he IS Russian. Sad...

[Zekester]

Resurrected for........

The Last Dinosaur

Watched this every time it came on back then, and always walked away wondering why. But since Warner just released it again, i'll get the chance to waste that time all over again 

[metallicorphan]

Resurrected for........

The Last Dinosaur

Watched this every time it came on back then, and always walked away wondering why. But since Warner just released it again, i'll get the chance to waste that time all over again 

ahh i thought you meant this at first,which i have not thought about for a very long time..and no i am not putting this up for worse movie,it has William Katt in it,so it can't be bad 

[hepcat]

Baby!?

Oh God, I'm remembering a repressed memory now...

...when Redwarlord (an OO member I grew up with) and i were kids, his mom got him a job as a "secret marketing tool" for theaters.  he would get free tickets to films with the provision that he take a small clicker with him and use it to count the number of people attending the film.  We used to get into a ton of movies for free..

...but unfortunately, Baby was one of them.  

I remember this about the film:

"Click....Click...12 minute pause....click....80 minute pause"

"where's your mom picking us up again?"

[rshetts2]

I have the winner, and I dare anyone on the boards to sit through this and make heads or tails of it:

Six String Samurai. The sole redeeming quality is the music which is pretty much badass. The final "guitar-off" between Buddy and Death (yup) rocks hard. Then they swordfight. Badly. And a lot. Oh the pain.

Ive seen that flick.  Talk about bizarre.  I dont know if I would consider it as the worst movie ever mainly because it was so wtf?! that it at least held some interest.  
 Considering the expense and blockbuster status of 2012, Id have to go with that.  Still, I have to give 2012 some points for its comedic value.  The drive through LA alone had me laughing almost uncontrollably.

[Teggy]

LOL, I was totally trying to remember if that dinosaur film was the one with the baby dinosaur. Thanks for jogging my memory!

[Zekester]

I remember Baby as well. LOL

[Scraper]

I third 2012. I really enjoyed the part where the RV gets hit by a giant flying lava ball, and still manages to make a 30 foot jump over a canyon. I also enjoyed the hundreds of buildings the novice pilot was able to fly through, under and around while there were collapsing about him. I also liked the fact that for some reason the world leaders thought it would be a good idea to build their arcs thousands of miles away from where they live. I also like the fact that they built the arcs in a mountain, rather than under water where they could have avoided the effects of the tsunami waves almost altogether.

[CeeKay]

I also like the fact that they built the arcs in a mountain, rather than under water where they could have avoided the effects of the tsunami waves almost altogether.

except they may not have been underwater or in a far worse position after the earth crust displacement.  I'm a sucker for mass destruction films, so the plot craters didn't bother me.

[Crusis]

Skyline! What a horrid POS. Nothing was explained and then the movie just ended right in the middle of a ...

[Moliere]

Skyline! What a horrid POS. Nothing was explained and then the movie just ended right in the middle of a ...

You should watch Limbo. Let's just say that the ending left the audience in limbo.

[Soulchilde]

Honey   Even Jessica Alba hotness couldn't save this shit


Glitter  I watched this for the epic fail

[Purge]

Daddy Day Camp,
Pocket Ninjas
Ed.

 

[hepcat]

Glitter  I watched this for the epic fail

Time to make lemonade out of that lemon