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Author Topic: Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?  (Read 4389 times)
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Razgon
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« Reply #40 on: April 28, 2008, 07:32:24 PM »

Quote from: whiteboyskim on April 28, 2008, 04:51:10 PM

This thread reinforces my belief that I've lead a very sheltered life. I'm going to go be sad now.
hey, dont worry - I led a very sheltered life until I hit around 30'es - then, things got crazy. So, Cheer up! (unless you are 120 years old of course)
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« Reply #41 on: April 28, 2008, 07:32:57 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:29:23 PM

Ya, those are the girls I wanna meet.

I used Matchmaker, but that was 8 years ago.  I've seen that adultfriendfinder all over the net, but I have no experience with it, nor do I know anyone who's used it.  On matchmaker, you could see on the profile whether someone was looking for relationships or just looking to have fun.  If anything, you'd prolly end up going out with a few girls and getting some of your mojo back.  Plus, most places give you a free trial period.
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« Reply #42 on: April 28, 2008, 07:34:47 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on April 28, 2008, 07:32:57 PM

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:29:23 PM

Ya, those are the girls I wanna meet.

I used Matchmaker, but that was 8 years ago.  I've seen that adultfriendfinder all over the net, but I have no experience with it, nor do I know anyone who's used it.  On matchmaker, you could see on the profile whether someone was looking for relationships or just looking to have fun.  If anything, you'd prolly end up going out with a few girls and getting some of your mojo back.  Plus, most places give you a free trial period.

+1 on the netdating thing - did wonders for me - just remember to relax and have fun..they are there for the same reason as you are...to meet someone potentielly interesting and just have fun!
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El-Producto
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« Reply #43 on: April 28, 2008, 07:38:05 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 28, 2008, 07:34:47 PM

Quote from: rickfc on April 28, 2008, 07:32:57 PM

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:29:23 PM

Ya, those are the girls I wanna meet.

I used Matchmaker, but that was 8 years ago.  I've seen that adultfriendfinder all over the net, but I have no experience with it, nor do I know anyone who's used it.  On matchmaker, you could see on the profile whether someone was looking for relationships or just looking to have fun.  If anything, you'd prolly end up going out with a few girls and getting some of your mojo back.  Plus, most places give you a free trial period.

+1 on the netdating thing - did wonders for me - just remember to relax and have fun..they are there for the same reason as you are...to meet someone potentielly interesting and just have fun!

I have nothing against the idea.. it's just my early trials have been less than successful.  I did a couple of free trials on various sites, and I just kept getting weird messages from what seems like Phishing scams, or mail order russian brides, wanting me to correspond with them using some hotmail address.

I messaged a few girls I found interesting on Plentyoffish, and either get ignored totally, or after one or two emails get ignored.

I gotta admit, I need some skills.  I'm working on the person to person skills as much as possible, and despite that recent transgression.. things seem to go okay.
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« Reply #44 on: April 28, 2008, 07:43:12 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:38:05 PM

I have nothing against the idea.. it's just my early trials have been less than successful.  I did a couple of free trials on various sites, and I just kept getting weird messages from what seems like Phishing scams, or mail order russian brides, wanting me to correspond with them using some hotmail address.

I messaged a few girls I found interesting on Plentyoffish, and either get ignored totally, or after one or two emails get ignored.

I gotta admit, I need some skills.  I'm working on the person to person skills as much as possible, and despite that recent transgression.. things seem to go okay.

First and foremost, try a reputable site.  I don't know which one, but I'm sure there's a list out there of the ones with the most users, etc.  Secondly, girls get all kinds of crazy shit from guys.  Believe me, when my wife and I started dating, she showed me some of the emails she would get.  The one that worked for me 95% of the time was:

Quote
"So, what does a guy have to do in order to get your attention?"

It's cheesy as all hell, but it wasn't the same old shit they got from every other guy, so most girls would at least reply.  Once you make it that far, you have to keep their attention.  Just remember to always ask them about themselves as girls love to talk about themselves.
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« Reply #45 on: April 28, 2008, 07:44:00 PM »

My crazy drunk moment? I got a few, being a crazy drunk in college. But I'll tell you the final and worst one...

I went to a club. Got smashed. But no big deal, I'm used to it. 10 beers, 3-4 shots, 3 or so mixed drinks... I've done all this before. Until I'm sitting with my second Long Island iced tea. The guy who is my ride back to campus says to me "we're leaving now". I was there with my Long Islander, the cup full. I decided not to waste this, and drank it all down like water.

I went in the car, we stopped somewhere, I peed on someone's house, then we went to campus, and he dumped my passed out body near a tree outside the dorm. Another friend found me, and dragged me (yes, dragged, he was only 5 feet or so). The RA caught him in the act, and made him dump me on the couch in the office. Campus security was called.

I woke up to three officers looking down at me. They said that if I can make it to my dorm room, and inside, on my own, they'll leave me alone and deal with me later. If not, they'll send me to the hospital. I made it to, and into my dorm room no problems. So they left me alone. But then I threw a crying trauma, and my roommates had to deal with me trying to get me to go to sleep.

The really scary thing is, I had absolutely no recollection of the moment after I drank down the Long Islander until I woke up with the three officers looking down at me.

No real damage was done. The campus security dismissed the case since this was my first run-in with them, and I didn't do anything bad, and the dorm waived the $100 fine because, again, I didn't do anything bad. I wasn't harmed (other than a nasty hangover, of course), and even my pants survived the dragging (he mostly dragged me over grass).

But after that night, I stopped drinking the way I used to. I used to get drunk 2-3 times a week. Now I have a drink maybe once every two or so months, and only 1 or 2 drinks at that.

The fact that it could have been much, much worse told me that I better learn the lesson now, instead of waiting for something worse.

That was during my junior year at college, for what that's worth. Two years ago now.
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« Reply #46 on: April 28, 2008, 07:44:52 PM »

okay, a few pointers about netdating..

write a letter you really like, a standard one, introducing yourself to to the one you are writing to. Then costumize it according to her data. I.e. "I see you like horseback riding, how many years have you been doing that?", showing that you read her data, and want to know more. save that letter and reuse it everytime for ease of use...

Send out TONS of letters, these girls get A LOT of letters, so, its shotgun method here, massmail those you'd think could be fun to meet, and some will respond.

take action after a few letters (most girls like doers) , and invite her for a cup of coffee somewhere public - just that, nothing more...

and most importantly at the date - relax!!   :-)

EDIT: Oh, and Ricks advice is gold, only one more...EVERYONE likes to talk about themselves...take it from me, I'm a sales executive in RL ;-)
« Last Edit: April 28, 2008, 07:47:05 PM by Razgon » Logged

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El-Producto
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« Reply #47 on: April 28, 2008, 07:51:42 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 28, 2008, 07:44:52 PM

okay, a few pointers about netdating..

write a letter you really like, a standard one, introducing yourself to to the one you are writing to. Then costumize it according to her data. I.e. "I see you like horseback riding, how many years have you been doing that?", showing that you read her data, and want to know more. save that letter and reuse it everytime for ease of use...

Send out TONS of letters, these girls get A LOT of letters, so, its shotgun method here, massmail those you'd think could be fun to meet, and some will respond.

take action after a few letters (most girls like doers) , and invite her for a cup of coffee somewhere public - just that, nothing more...

and most importantly at the date - relax!!   :-)

EDIT: Oh, and Ricks advice is gold, only one more...EVERYONE likes to talk about themselves...take it from me, I'm a sales executive in RL ;-)

That tactic to me.. just seems like desperation, and I'm nowhere near that point.  Although I understand the reasoning behind it.  I know the women get tons of crazy messages from guys.

The actualy date doesn't bother me at all... my social skillz are still intact.  It's finding someone that doesn't want to marry you after the second date.  This seems to be an issue with the few girls that I've gone out with.  I'm a decent looking guy, with a good job, and a good head on my shoulders.  In todays day and age.. I'm shark bait.  It seems like after a few dates.. they want to start calling every day, and when you don't call it's a big fucking deal.

Seems like high school all over.
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« Reply #48 on: April 28, 2008, 07:57:13 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:51:42 PM

The actualy date doesn't bother me at all... my social skillz are still intact.  It's finding someone that doesn't want to marry you after the second date.  This seems to be an issue with the few girls that I've gone out with.  I'm a decent looking guy, with a good job, and a good head on my shoulders.  In todays day and age.. I'm shark bait.  It seems like after a few dates.. they want to start calling every day, and when you don't call it's a big fucking deal.

Seems like high school all over.

Um, if you turned down a hot tub full of hot women down, I'd say that your skillz need at least some polish  slywink

Also, make sure that you're upfront with the girl about your intentions.  "I'm not looking to get into a relationship" will get most of them to back the fuck up from the get go.  And if that's not what they want, then you just walk away.
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« Reply #49 on: April 28, 2008, 08:19:11 PM »

Both solid points  icon_razz
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« Reply #50 on: April 28, 2008, 08:45:07 PM »

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

My ex wife.
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« Reply #51 on: April 28, 2008, 08:48:33 PM »

Hmm, let's see.

There was the time we went to this 'field party' out in the country and  some folks were jonesing for Waffle House.   We decided to go grab some togo and bring it back.  I go up to the counter and place the order.   " I need 6 patty melts, 3 ham and cheese omelettes, 2 grill cheeses and 10 sides of bacon." 
"We're out of bacon" she says.
"Outta bacon?, how the fuck does that happen?"
I go into an alcohol fueled tirade about how bacon is key to the waffle house experience.
My friends dragged me outta there right before she calls the cops and we head back to the party.
On the way back I'm staring out the window shaking my head and muttering about bacon.
"Stop the car!" I scream.  "Stop the car, stop the car!" I repeated until my friend did.
"Dude, what the fuck" he said.
I just pointed out the window and uttered one magical word...."Bacon"



It seems a pig farm was on the way to the field party.  If Waffle House wouldn't give us the bacon, well then we would give it them.


It turns out catching pigs is hard so one hour later covered from head to toe in mud I walk back into the Waffle House...
With a little squeky friend in my arms.

I plopped him down on the counter and said "Ok, I'll have 10 sides of bacon..."
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« Reply #52 on: April 28, 2008, 08:59:59 PM »

Morlac wins.
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« Reply #53 on: April 28, 2008, 09:01:49 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:51:42 PM

That tactic to me.. just seems like desperation, and I'm nowhere near that point.  Although I understand the reasoning behind it.  I know the women get tons of crazy messages from guys.

It's not desperation.  Dating is inherently a numbers game to a certain extent.  All your positive qualities just tip the odds in your favor, and vice versa.  Until attraction is turned into a science, there will always be a role of dumb luck in whether someone you meet wants to get involved with you.  So you've just got to keep approaching until you find success.  Dating sites just make it possible to approach a ton of women at once.  Unfortunately they make it possible for everyone on the site to do that, but it's perfectly fine and not a desperation move.  Just one more way to meet people.
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« Reply #54 on: April 28, 2008, 09:07:12 PM »

Quote from: kathode on April 28, 2008, 09:01:49 PM

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 07:51:42 PM

That tactic to me.. just seems like desperation, and I'm nowhere near that point.  Although I understand the reasoning behind it.  I know the women get tons of crazy messages from guys.

It's not desperation.  Dating is inherently a numbers game to a certain extent.  All your positive qualities just tip the odds in your favor, and vice versa.  Until attraction is turned into a science, there will always be a role of dumb luck in whether someone you meet wants to get involved with you.  So you've just got to keep approaching until you find success.  Dating sites just make it possible to approach a ton of women at once.  Unfortunately they make it possible for everyone on the site to do that, but it's perfectly fine and not a desperation move.  Just one more way to meet people.

Things are just VERY different from when I last had to date (16 years ago). 
* El-Producto goes back to his whittling stick
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« Reply #55 on: April 28, 2008, 09:16:10 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on April 28, 2008, 09:07:12 PM

Things are just VERY different from when I last had to date (16 years ago). 
* El-Producto goes back to his whittling stick

No doubt.  I'm sure back then you could take your date to a movie on $1 and still get some change.  biggrin
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« Reply #56 on: April 29, 2008, 01:05:08 AM »

Quote from: Raven VII on April 28, 2008, 07:27:02 PM

Quote from: rickfc on April 28, 2008, 06:46:35 PM

Quote from: PeteRock on April 28, 2008, 06:33:27 PM

I once told Trent Steel, in person, and I quote, to "shut the fuck up." 

I win the thread, as it doesn't get any crazier than that.

Who is this "Trent Steel" you speak of?  Is he a big sissy?

Opposite. He does those exercises that would kill a normal man.

And he does it two times a day.

He has balls of steel. Literally.

'cause they got blown off in a freak accident involving a two liter bottle of coke and a paint shaker.
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« Reply #57 on: April 29, 2008, 01:14:08 AM »

Quote from: CeeKay on April 29, 2008, 01:05:08 AM

'cause they got blown off in a freak accident involving a two liter bottle of coke and a paint shaker.

Actually, they fell off because they couldn't handle being attached to Trent Steel. To spite them and show them that they are not worthy, his body grew another pair constructed in pure steel.
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« Reply #58 on: April 29, 2008, 01:20:02 AM »

Hmmm...

I got an invitation from my stepdad to go to Jamaica with him if I could come up with the airfare because he got a free return trip for him and my mom, but they got divorced.  Of course, I didn't hesitate -- immediately took off of work, plopped down some money and flew my ass to Jamaica for 8 days 7 nights!  Initially when I got there, I was feeling everything out, still fairly Americanized, not exactly sure what to expect from the experience.  At the time, I was 18 years old, which was the minimum age over there since they had nude beaches ... also known as "fresh meat" to all the ladies!  I began to relax a bit after throwing back a few drinks, which was especially great because they were free!  FREE ALCOHOL?! YAY!  Needless to say, I had a good buzz going for the entire 8 days I was there, from an hour after arriving there until a couple hours after I landed back home.

Anyways, back to the part everyone wants to hear about -- nude beaches!  (For the record, the only time I saw my stepdad the entire trip was during meals in dressed areas, just so this doesn't sound awkward) While at the nude beaches, I started off by chatting up the females over there ... not too shabby, but still, I was in the "friend" zone with these ladies.  Whatever.  I'll just enjoy myself and make some company!  So I started getting to know some people and hanging out with them over there.

Not too long after that, they started getting together females for the "Queen of Hedonism" contest, where 6 women were chosen at random and they had to do 3 things:
1) Say their name, where they're from, and a sex name that someone has given them or self-proclaimed.
2) Name their favorite fruit and some kind of kinky reference to why.
3) Talent Show! (1 min timelimit)

Let me describe the ladies in this nude beach contest to you -- 1 was average looking but around late 30's, 3 of them were unattractive, and 2 were very attractive -- one of the attractive ones was a blonde woman, late 20's, neck-length hair, probably upper B / lower C cup and the other was a dirty blonde woman, about 36 with some lovely store-boughts (DD's) & hair down to her mid-back.

For the talent show, each woman done something unique to show off what they can do.  The dirty blonde DD woman wanted to demonstrate a blowjob on someone without touching them, and she asked for a volunteer out of the audience.  Well, lets just say I'm glad I made friends because I had about 8 people chanting my name, standing up & frantically pointing at me, so obviously, I got picked!   icon_cool  She sits me down on a chair and places a banana in my lap.  Before she started, I was drinking and chillin, so I wasn't walking around, clotheslining small children and knocking over desklamps or anything like that.  But after ... well, that was a different story ... needless to say, I got the respect of every single person at that place after that moment!  icon_twisted

From that moment on, it was nothing but drinking (primarily Kamikaze's) and sex.
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« Reply #59 on: April 29, 2008, 01:23:19 AM »

Quote from: SpaceLord on April 28, 2008, 08:45:07 PM

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

My ex wife.

whoa...you too!

...


I KID, I KID!
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« Reply #60 on: April 29, 2008, 02:16:49 AM »

Lots of crazy stories from my first year in the Marines running through my head.

One that got me in a particular amount of trouble though was while doing training in Pensacola, a group of us had gone off base to some of the other bars that let under-21 military drink. After a full night of massive drinking, dancing with girls and playing pool we were driving back to the base around 4am (honestly I don't recall any of us being sober so that's a little scary now that I think about it).

On the way back we decided to stop off at the grocery store to buy some more alcohol. One of our group wasn't holding his alcohol as well as the rest of us and got sick once we reached the parking lot, to the point where he after throwing up a few times he was too dizzy to stand. So we put him in one of the grocery shopping carts and pushed him through the store. Sometime during the shopping trip, he passed out and when we got back to the car - no one really felt like lifting him out of the shopping cart. So instead we proceeded to drive back down the main road towards base with two of us holding onto his shopping cart outside the passenger windows. He woke up after a few minutes and quite literally pissed his pants (then again maybe he did that in the store and that's why we didn't pick him up out of the cart).

He was really mad and decided that he was going to walk the rest of the way back to base. So here we were stuck with an empty shopping cart about halfway between the grocery store and the base.

Somehow we decided that our buddy was just a chicken-shit and thus we decided to show him by each taking turns riding in our shopping cart 'o' death up and down the street past him as he was walking back to base. Calling him names, mooning him etc.  We even rode that way onto the naval base past the guards and were subsequently arrested by the MP's.

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« Reply #61 on: April 29, 2008, 03:24:26 AM »

Got into a fight with a former Bad Man fighter neanderthal.
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« Reply #62 on: April 29, 2008, 04:36:47 AM »

Quote from: SpaceLord on April 28, 2008, 08:45:07 PM

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

My ex wife.

His ex-wife. Tongue

In all seriousness, I'll hop up here in a day or two and tell you all how I lost everything from my teeth to my colon at a houseparty. it's a long story though, and I'm no PeteRock... that and I'm currently on cold meds.
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« Reply #63 on: April 29, 2008, 05:05:21 AM »

Quote from: PeteRock on April 28, 2008, 06:33:27 PM

I once told Trent Steel, in person, and I quote, to "shut the fuck up." 

I win the thread, as it doesn't get any crazier than that.

Seriously? This is the craziest thing you have ever done? You couldn't have made up something impressive and found 3 paragraphs to write about it? SERIOUSLY??? Telling some random dude on the internet that is "tough"
to shut up.

For the first time (and I would hazard the last) Pete, I wish you had written more. You had a chance for something epic.
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« Reply #64 on: April 29, 2008, 03:44:14 PM »

Quote from: Purge on April 29, 2008, 04:36:47 AM

Quote from: SpaceLord on April 28, 2008, 08:45:07 PM

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

My ex wife.

His ex-wife. Tongue

In all seriousness, I'll hop up here in a day or two and tell you all how I lost everything from my teeth to my colon at a houseparty. it's a long story though, and I'm no PeteRock... that and I'm currently on cold meds.

Dude - if this is the story of when you also lost your cherry - trust me - we don't want to hear it.   Truthiness!
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« Reply #65 on: April 29, 2008, 04:10:56 PM »

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

Drive.
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« Reply #66 on: April 29, 2008, 04:12:34 PM »

Quote from: coopasonic on April 29, 2008, 04:10:56 PM

Quote
Whats the craziest thing you'ever done drunk?

Drive.

Congratulations, Coop.  You just killed this thread.  Tongue
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« Reply #67 on: April 29, 2008, 04:23:56 PM »

Quote from: Calvin on April 29, 2008, 05:05:21 AM

Quote from: PeteRock on April 28, 2008, 06:33:27 PM

I once told Trent Steel, in person, and I quote, to "shut the fuck up." 

I win the thread, as it doesn't get any crazier than that.

Seriously? This is the craziest thing you have ever done? You couldn't have made up something impressive and found 3 paragraphs to write about it? SERIOUSLY??? Telling some random dude on the internet that is "tough"
to shut up.

For the first time (and I would hazard the last) Pete, I wish you had written more. You had a chance for something epic.

Well, there was that time at the Polar Shelf Research Station in Resolute Bay when I got shit-faced drunk with a NASA scientist working on the Mars Rover testing project in the Haughton Crater on Devon Island.  We were stranded because our gear never made the flight out of Calgary (he was on his way to the Haughton Crater to work on the rovers that were eventually sent to Mars and I was on my way to the fossil forest on Axel Heiberg Island to research 45-million-year-old forest remains). 

While awaiting the next flight into Resolute Bay which should be carrying our gear we relaxed in the research station and drank heavily to pass the time.  One "evening" (it was 24-hour daylight) he and I along with two other researchers that were part of my project all went for a hike to the "beach".  While baffled by the fact that the ocean was frozen, the NASA scientist asked, "I wonder how far you could walk out there before falling through the ice." 

I decided to put that question to the test.  Needless to say, the water was cold.  Very, very cold.  I actually made it about 75 yards before falling through.  Getting out was the hard part.  Although perhaps this incident goes beyond "crazy" and straight into "stupid."

Trust me, I have stories.  Like encountering two arctic wolves in camp and wondering who brought the dogs with them as they weren't on the flight in.  I also quickly learned the difference between "smiling" and "snarling".  There was also the time I was reintroduced to the concept of a "cut bank".  In meandering streams water moving through a corner pulls sediment from the outside of the curve as water is moving faster and deposits sediment on the inside of the curve where the water is slowing down.  In my case I started crossing the glacial meltwater stream on the shallow side and thought I was hot-shit by discovering a shallow area where I wouldn't have to get wet.  As I was calling to my fellow scientists I took one more step, which just happened to be where the sediment ended and the cut-bank area began.  I went from 4" water to being completely submerged.  In glacial meltwater.  That'll wake you up pretty quickly.  Apparently a case of beer makes one forget basic geologic concepts on occasion. 

But having met Trent Steel in person, and given his internet reputation, I thought my little anecdote would be entertaining in its brevity.  It did happen, and I still wonder how I managed to survive. 
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« Reply #68 on: April 29, 2008, 05:19:35 PM »

I never really drank because of my CF, but one time when my parents were away, my sister and I threw a big party.  Had a ton of people over and I drank 10 long-necked beers and then we went out and played lacrosse in the swimming pool.  We didn't actually have any lacrosse equipment, so we used the pool nets for lacrosse sticks and full beer cans for the ball.  We were terribly loud, but our neighbors liked us a lot (we were good kids) so they put up with it. 

After pool lacrosse I went inside and proceeded to eat 12 fully decked hot dogs in a short period of time.  I wasn't racing, I was just suddenly hungry.  Went to bed that night and really hated the fact the bed and ceiling would not stop spinning.  When I woke up, I barfed up every single hot dog I'd eaten the night before... almost no digestion had taken place.  I fear throwing up, so that was really the only time in my life I ever got drunk.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2008, 05:21:27 PM by jpinard » Logged
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« Reply #69 on: May 08, 2008, 08:39:15 AM »

Sadly, I'm a drinker.

The dumbest thing anyone can do is drive drunk as such, we will exclude that from our discussions.

Now when I say I am a drinker, the prevailing betting at a bar is on "Whether Semaj can break the Red Death record" which currently is 4.  Red death is a 7 shot drink I usually chug because 1 of them gets me buzzed enough to enjoy the evening while being ok to drive.  if my friends are driving I'll have 2-3, and do shots with the bartenders.  Yeah, I'm a moron, but oddly, I rarely puke, but I do have serious black out moments...  I blame it on forgetting to do math when I drink, like the formula for "Forgot to eat before drinking" changes from "Ate a ton before drinking".


Anyways... lets discuss dumb things I have done drunk.

I once thought the fridge/spice rack thing on the side of the fridge looked enough like the bathroom to pee on those instead of in the toilet.

That one was about a month ago and since I've basically only drank coke at the bar.  I blame the bartender for giving me a third pitcher of beer when I had to drive downtown and drink with friends still.  I decided in my slightly less than sober condition if I chugged it, the 5-6 minute drive to the other bars wouldn't be a problem since the alcohol hadn't hit yet.  The reasoning was right, but when the beer hit or the drinking at the other bars never went into my calculations.  After the second bar, we went back to my friends place where more beer was served, at some point they put my arse to bed and a while later I woke up and forgot which way to turn to make it into the bathroom.  Needless to say I now owe my friend a few towels and a new spice rack...  Oddly she cant pick on me, she apparently has done the same thing before in her youth smile

Well Lesse... Most of my really dumb stories involve partners in crime.  I dont drink solo, I drink with one or two other people.  The people change but the stories usually remain funny.

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jen... I have more stupidly drunk stories with jen than most other people, but most of them involve her being stupid and me having to clean up the mess, lol....   A fine example:
The day Buffalo lost to carolina in the playoffs the year they really should have won the cup, we decided to go downtown.  So I look at her and go: "Ok I think I'ma actually drink tonight."  And since i had been on a 6 month sabbatical from drinking, (or more, I might have been nearing 9 months to a year) it was a big deal. 

We walk into a bar and the owner see's me and goes: "James used to work here, as such he drinks for free all night..."  Had nothing to do with him owning me money o no smile.... 

Anyways, so I do a few shots with the bartender (Stephanie, smokingly hot, in love with some drummer from some band at the time, damn the man) and then ask for a "Vodka/redbull with a splash of redbull".... so she starts pouring vodka asking me to say when... once it's 4/5'ths full I say when and she puts in a little redbull for color.  I chug it and give it back and ask for another.  Meanwhile Jen is drinking a few beers and then we all do shots with the owner and Stephanie.  We then close the bar and head down chippewa (Huge street with like 30 bars on it) to Skybar, a bar on the roof of a 4 floor building.  While there, I convince Jen its in her best interest to convince stephanie I am a great guy, as required by law... and those two start dancing on the bar, god bless their souls. 

Now about 20 mins later Jen is back on the bar, dancing with Stephanie, and who is there hitting on that girl but Ryan Miller (Goalie of the sabres, they were back in the buffalo bars by like 1-1:30 am that night.)  Now I am all for jen having a good time, but something dawned on me and it wasn't a happy moment. Jen was drunker than I am.  Now I dont know about you, but when you tell some of your friends you are drinking, they take it as a sign that they are driving and they shouldn't get trashed.  With Jen, apparently it was a race/challenge to see who could get hammered quicker, one she always wins.  Now, at this point I'm starting to really feel those vodka redbulls, and I decide ordering water is in my best interest all the while praying the hot dog man was still serving food outside the bar, I had to start sobering up and in a hurry.

Didnt help, at all.  The remained of the night is a bit of a blur, I remember dancing with a few women and making out with a few... (And when I went back into the original bar on a different day, I met a few women for the second time which oddly felt like it was my first....)  Jen disappeared and then re-appeared near closing with a address on her hand and a new phone number in her cell phone, things she had no clue how they had gotten there.  We were still hanging out with Sabres and I detached us from them when we hit the street so I could carry her drunken arse to the car.  I dropped her in the back seat and sure enough she was out cold, snoring before I got in the front seat. 

I decided it was in my best interest to stare at the steering wheel for a few hours, watching the night turn into day.  I was still drunk and driving under those conditions is about as smart as deciding when there is two people and a long drive ahead to try and see if you can outdrink your friend who has obviously done roughly 20 shots.  Finally, around 7am or maybe even later, I decided to drive us home.  I get us home in one piece and wake jen up and tell her its time to go into the house at which point jen decides now is a good time to empty the contents of the night from her stomach.  I fight with the seat belt, she gets the door open, but fails to clear the edge completely and empty's the contents half in, half out of the car.  I get around and go to help her up and she gets a bit belligerent (Angry drunk jen) and starts telling me how she doesn't need any bleeping help.  She makes in about 6 or 7 steps from the curb to the middle of our lawn and drops like a stone. 

At which point her arm raises, wavering like she can't hold it in one place, like asking a question at school and i hear: "Lil help here...." 

So I walk over, look down at her and go: "I dont need any bleeping help..." 

She responded with: "Lil help..."  while laughing... 

So I tote her drunken arse into the house, carry her upstairs and throw her on my bed and let her pass right back out again while I hit the kitchen to drink some oj and rehydrate...  I still haven't let her live that one down.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another good Jen drinking story would be Last birthday (Oddy it was today so last year exactly) for her, we went to this bar called elmo's.  Amazing wings, good people, the Stanley cup has been in this bar filled with blue cheese so wings could be eaten out of it.  Its our usual stop, but since I am without job, it's been hard to get there.  Anyways, she's there and the sabres are playing the rangers in round 2?  Now were drinking and it's a bunch of Jen's friends me and my friend Joe.  So I start ordering pitchers of Sam Adams Spring Lager (I think it was spring, it might have been something like seasonal lager or some nonsense, I forget).  So I'm drinking those and some girl keeps giving me the look and being the intelligent lad I am, I know that look of a girl who thinks your hot.  I miss that look... o how I miss it, lol.  So I keep her pint glass filled along with mine, joe's and jen's.  After about the 4-6th pitcher, everyones glasses are getting refills, whether I knew em or not, and we start doing shots.  Once I got a bit of some liquid courage in me, the girl in question (Megan was her name... I think) and I start making out.

No thats not the story, o noes.  Well at this point Jen's friend Jenn who dislikes me immensely due to me calling her some mean names mentions this girl has a boyfriend and I decide to stop instantly.  I am not a fan of that sort of nonsense, and the man in question was a marine.  Well the girls all gather together and have a pow wow.  After the meeting of the unsober minds jen says: "She doesn't have a boyfriend, you are ok..."  so we commence to making out again.  During this tomfoolery, she lets slip: "No we aren't dating, just seeing each other."

So I of course go: "Darn, shucks, o the happenstance..." with ever slightly less mild words. 

I go back into the bar (We decided to make out during a cigarette break, which is odd since I don't think either of us smoke) with her and Jen is hitting really drunk stage.  I grab the tab and it's like 120-150 bucks or so.  I leave a 50ish dollar tip and then the next day went in and Adam goes: "God, I love it when you're drunk" and I responded with: "gratuity was already on that bill wasnt it?"  And he laughed and said yes. 

So the girls are going to the country bar downtown (The Bucking buffalo), which I dont go to since they closed the bar I was working at at the time and only hire women in skimpy comboy-ish clothing behind the bar.  We head to another bar I know and my friends are all working (notice a trend?) and we sit down and have a drink or three while I flirt with some of the women at the bar.  We then go to another bar where I know more of the bartenders and we continued drinking, although I had to cut joe off some, he was no longer in the upright position nearly as much as he needed to be.  I decided to hit the country bar to wish Jen a happy birthday before heading home and cant find them.  So I grab joe and we are about to leave and I realize I cant find the keys to the car.  I head to the first bar which was closed (it was roughly 1-2 am, we have 4am bar closings here which makes that incredibly mean to me) and then check in the second bar and then go back to the third country bar hoping it's there. 

In that damned country bar, it's now fairly destitute and sure enough there is Megan and Jackie and a few of the guys from bar 1.  Megan instantly re-attaches and I start debating my exit strategy.  James dont try to mess with girls who have marine boyfriend-like men in the background.  I find out Jen was too drunk to get into that bar and was made (By her boyfriend) to go back to the apartment and sleep it off.  Naturally I didnt hear about this until much much too late.  Luckily, Megan has to go to the bathroom and I talk with the 1 guy still there (the other ones were off lord knows where) and say: "I only came in to see if I left my keys here....  time to escape while I can."   So I go back to bar 2 where Joe is and we bum a ride off one of our friends back to joes house.  So I sit there for the 3ish hours before work starts and then call my boss: "Um it's james, I cant make it into work today, I left the keys to your brand new car at the bar and they closed before I could pick them up.  Once they open this afternoon I will go grab them."

Yeah, I forgot to mention I was borrowing my bosses new (Used) car to drive downtown.... didnt I?  smile

Luckily it was at the first bar, like i thought it was and all was forgiven a few hours later.  Although I did have to dodge an angry marine for a while.....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those weren't incredibly dumb things, just fairly funny stories to retell.  I'll save the Dumb things I have done for another time...

*edited for godawful spelling*
« Last Edit: May 08, 2008, 09:30:33 AM by Semaj » Logged

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« Reply #70 on: May 08, 2008, 02:17:02 PM »

that was an impressive post Pete!
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« Reply #71 on: May 08, 2008, 02:19:38 PM »

FYI

I'm going out this Saturday night with the gang from work.  The hot-tub crew will be there, and I'm saying YES over, and over in my head a thousand times.

I will not let those down, that are living vicariously through me!
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« Reply #72 on: May 08, 2008, 03:16:57 PM »

Quote from: El-Producto on May 08, 2008, 02:19:38 PM

FYI

I'm going out this Saturday night with the gang from work.  The hot-tub crew will be there, and I'm saying YES over, and over in my head a thousand times.

I will not let those down, that are living vicariously through me!

Good luck!   thumbsup
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« Reply #73 on: May 08, 2008, 03:30:05 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on May 08, 2008, 03:16:57 PM

Quote from: El-Producto on May 08, 2008, 02:19:38 PM

FYI

I'm going out this Saturday night with the gang from work.  The hot-tub crew will be there, and I'm saying YES over, and over in my head a thousand times.

I will not let those down, that are living vicariously through me!

Good luck!   thumbsup

we're all counting on you!
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« Reply #74 on: May 08, 2008, 03:35:49 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on May 08, 2008, 03:30:05 PM

Quote from: rickfc on May 08, 2008, 03:16:57 PM

Quote from: El-Producto on May 08, 2008, 02:19:38 PM

FYI

I'm going out this Saturday night with the gang from work.  The hot-tub crew will be there, and I'm saying YES over, and over in my head a thousand times.

I will not let those down, that are living vicariously through me!

Good luck!   thumbsup

we're all counting on you!

YEW CAN DOOOO EEET!!!
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« Reply #75 on: May 08, 2008, 03:38:30 PM »

Semaj wins the thread. I guess I won't tell my story about pissing on the Calder stabile in downtown Grand Rapids.

All of my stupid drinking stories happened between the ages of 15 and 19. By the time I was 20 I had learned my limits and outgrown the urge to exceed them.
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« Reply #76 on: May 08, 2008, 08:02:12 PM »

I think my best-most stupid drunken moment was several years ago in New Orleans.  It's Mardi Gras, I am with a bunch of my college friends and my cousin and we begin drinking at about 9 AM in the morning.  By noon, most of us are trashed and living it up on Bourbon Street constantly searching for more booze and bathrooms.  At about 10 PM that night I suddenly realize that I have become separated from everyone at some point and that I am essentially alone.  The important thing about this is that my full-time legal blindness that I have turns into total blindness at night due to the awesome side-effects of RP Syndrome.  When drinking heavily, this has no meaning for me though as I somehow think I can see all of the sudden at night. 

So, I make it to the Mississippi River but I miss the Ferry that I was supposed to take back with everyone.  No problem I think, in my drunken state I can go crash at my Great Grandmothers house and sleep it off and then meet everyone the next day.  Problem solved right?  WRONG.  My Great Grandmother lived in Metarie at the time which is about 8-10 miles away.  I finally made it there around 5 AM or so in the morning and when I finally woke up about 14 hours later, I had missed the 2nd Mardi Gras outing and I had the worst hangover coupled with the most heinous inner thigh chafing you can imagine.  Don't worry though, I am pretty sure I took naps along the way as I had grass and dirt all over the back of my clothes!  smile  I did get to see a lot of teh boobies though, so it did pretty much even out. 
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« Reply #77 on: May 09, 2008, 12:20:28 AM »

Allowed a stripper -  she wasn't a regular stripper but one of those huge-breasted magazine models who travel the strip club circuit (at least that's one I assume it's called) - to pull me onstage where she...never mind, it was at the O'Farrell Theater in San Francisco four years ago and there were no photos anyway...
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« Reply #78 on: May 09, 2008, 01:49:46 AM »

AS a teenager, I was at a friend's house.  His parents were out of town.  He and I and a few others were drinking heavily.  There's a rooftop patio off of his room, where we're chilling and drinking.  Eventually we climb up on the tile roof of the adjacent garage and we're goofing around.  Goofing reaches a peak with us dancing and singing at the top of our lungs and me playing his sister's accordion.  "She's a Maniac," if memory serves.

Anyway sooner or later a neighbor calls the cops.  It's the sort of neighborhood where cops have nothing better to do than put a stop to this sort of thing.  Eventually a cruiser pulls into his huge driveway and pulls around until its high-beams are illuminating us on the roof.  The cop gets on his microphone and says,

Put.  The Accordion.  Down.

This struck me as so funny at the time that I doubled over laughing, lost my balance, rolled, and fell off the roof.  A big bush broke my fall, which is fortunate, but spilled me into some cacti, which was not.  The cops, sensing they had resolved the issue, laughed at us and left.  My friends and I spent about three hours in the kitchen with tweezers pulling pieces of courderoy thread out of my legs, into which they had been driven by cactus needles.
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« Reply #79 on: May 09, 2008, 02:20:09 AM »

With his devastating use of the large font, Mr. Fed trumps Semaj. My pissing on the Calder is not worthy.
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