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Author Topic: What should I do? (stolen money)  (Read 6333 times)
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ravenvii
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« on: December 06, 2004, 12:06:57 AM »

It's probably obvious on what I should do, but I'm still not sure... What happened was this morning I got up, and found the drawer that I keep my wallet and keys in ajar a bit. I always close the drawer. So I took my wallet out, counted the money and found at least $40 missing. I said at least because I think I remember that I have some $1's in there, but I'm not sure, so I don't count those. But I know I'm missing two $20's. And then I found my room's door to be unlocked. My and my roommate's sleeping pattern is pactically the opposite, so last night I went to bed about 2 AM. He probably came in and went to bed at 5 or 6 AM, so it had to be him that unlocked the door.

(the door auto-locks unless you turn the lock in the inside side - basically if you left it locked, you can open it from the inside, but need a key to open it from the outside. If you turn the lock, it's openable from both sides, so it had to be deliberately done)

Now, I seriously suspect that my roommate was the one who took the money - he's the only one who knows where the wallet is, and nothing else was stolen. But I don't know for sure... Should I confront him and bluff a bit? Or what? I don't expect to get those money back, but I do expect this to stop. I'm looking into geting a new roommate, but in the meanwhile, it'd be nice if I get the money back. Threaten him? Report to someone? What would you do? I feel like reporting to someone is useless because I have no proof, and don't know 100% for sure who did it, since the damn door was left unlocked.
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zinckiwi
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« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2004, 12:16:11 AM »

Ask him offhandedly if he borrowed some money from your wallet for pizza or something. Gives him the obvious out if he realises you've noticed; he gets to say, "oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to tell you." If not, then you're stuck. Still worth a shot.
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Thin_J
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« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2004, 12:23:27 AM »

I would just wig out and report a break-in of some kind. See if he cracks under the pressure while he watches you calling the police.

Tell him you're sure you had like $500 in there, and you're going to get the drawer your wallet was in finger-printed because you need that money and you damned well want to find whoever broke into your room to take it.

Then again, maybe you should take the advice that zinckiwi gave. It's about 100% less nonsensical and silly than mine.
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dbt1949
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« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2004, 12:36:04 AM »

Kiss it goodbye. Confronting the guy will only bring denial on his part and make you even more upset.
Hide your wallet better and look for a new room mate.
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Jolor
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« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2004, 01:44:40 AM »

Ask if you can borrow $40 and never return it.
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gameoverman
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« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2004, 05:38:15 AM »

I hate to say it, but since you don't know for a fact EXACTLY how much you are missing(including all denominations), I don't think you should confront your roommate.  I know I sure would hate to be accused with a "you took my money, no I can't tell you how much, but I know you took it" accusation.

I think it's possible that you MIGHT have lost/spent/whatever that cash, if you can't tell how much is missing then that kinda proves that it IS possible for you to lose track of your cash.

Since you can't be 100% sure, I wouldn't make the accusation.

So what I would do is secure my room from now on, or if you share a room at least don't leave cash laying around.  You also say your roommate knows where you keep your wallet that may hold cash, now why would that be? I'd probably end that situation too.

Meanwhile you could be keeping an eye out for a new roommate.
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EngineNo9
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« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2004, 05:39:20 AM »

Get a safe/lockbox and slap it right on top of your dresser.

Then get a new goddamn roommate!

Is this a one bedroom apartment, a dorm, or what?  Personally, I would probably confront him and chew his ass, but you have to live with him so that's up to you.
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lildrgn
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« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2004, 05:51:59 AM »

Get him drunk and stick it in his... er... wrong thread. :oops:
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Jeff
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« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2004, 05:58:45 AM »

Quote from: "EngineNo9"
Get a safe/lockbox and slap it right on top of your dresser.


That's a great idea. Lock your valuables up. Sucks you'd have to do that in your own bedroom, but I would until I found a new roommate.

And you don't have to make an accusation, per se, but you could simply ask him if he "borrowed" the money. You'll know the truth almost immediately by how he responds. He'll deny it, but you'll know. Then just say "well I had about $40 come up missing from my wallet" - this lets him know that you know, and at the same time, you haven't accused him.

This is kind of a ballsy thing for someone to do. Does your roommate seem like the type who would steal from you?
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jpinard
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« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2004, 06:03:59 AM »

I would make an offhand comment like,
"dang I seemed to have lost $40 over the last couple of days.  I wonder what I did with it?"

This does 2 things.  

#1 - It does not confront him, and if he did it, will possibly make him feel guilty.  

#2 - It will let him know, you notice when stuff gos missing.

Make sure you lock any valuables up after before that (without making it obvious).  

Do not confront him!  You never know what someone will do when backed into a corner.  With a roomate, he has access to your food and shampoo.  There are so many things a person can do to those 2 items and you may not even know for a while.  

Do not say NOTHING.  If he took it, it will only encourage him to try and steal even more.
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CrayolaSmoker
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« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2004, 06:21:24 AM »

How likely is it that your roommate had an "overnight guest" that might have swiped the cash on his/her way out the door the following morning?
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gameoverman
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« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2004, 07:50:36 AM »

I think if he secures his valuables from now on, that sends the message without him needing to say anything.

Here's a story from my past:

I went to a friend's house for a weekend party. We were close, as in 'my house is your house' friends. Early in the weekend, before most other guests arrived, he showed me his new gun, after which he disappeared back into his house to put it away. Houseparty shortly thereafter commences, dozens of people pass thru the house that weekend.

Later the next week, he comes around my house he to ask me if I remember what he did with the gun because it is now missing. Do I remember where he might have put it after he showed it to me, or remember him showing it to someone else or did I look at it again and put it somewhere else? "I'm NOT accusing YOU" was how he finished.

Needless to say, that soured me on that friendship and it was never the same. I did not steal that gun, in fact I had no idea he even had a gun, he brought the subject up and insisted I check it out. I did not accompany him back into the house when he took back from where he got it AND dozens of friends, associates, and 'friends of friends' trampled through the house during that weekend, any of whom might have snaked it. He knew all this yet still had the gall to ask ME if I knew where it was.

I guess that's why to this day I'm against even implying that person stole from you unless you can prove it.
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jpinard
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« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2004, 08:23:31 AM »

That's why I suggest blaming yourself, but it's still a way to get it known you KNOW the money is gone.
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gameoverman
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« Reply #13 on: December 06, 2004, 08:38:53 AM »

That still leaves the question of 'so why are you telling me?'.

In other words, he tells me "Oh man, this sucks, I just realized I misplaced about $40"....in my mind I'm wondering "so why are you telling me? You think I took it? You fishing for a loan of $40? Or what? Whatever it is, spit it out".  

I'm not ignorant of the possiblity that the roommate did steal the money. But then does anyone really think the roommate doesn't know that it will be noticed?  Of course he does.  So telling the roommate "I KNOW money has been stolen" in so many words is pointless.  It won't stop him from doing it again if money is laying around, since as long as you can't prove he did it, there is no risk to him(besides losing a roommate).

However, securing your money WILL prevent it from happening again, no matter who stole it. And you can't be accused of making unsupported accusations.
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JSHAW
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« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2004, 08:45:01 AM »

I had a "money" situation that happened to me a couple of months ago that I thought was going to turn out bad for me, but in the end wasn't bad at all.

I took one of my cats to a local pet groomer to get cleaned up. That morning of the appointment my wife gave me her ATM to withdrawn $60 dollars, the groomer's fee was $50. I got there, dropped the cat off and told the person at the counter that I wanted to pay for it then, because my wife would be the one to pick the cat up later that day and that I had the money with me. I paid her, she didn't give me a receipt, but she wrote it down as paid on the job form with the details of what they were doing as far as cleaning up/grooming the cat. I was fine with that, and left.

My wife picked up the cat, everything was fine, UNTIL a week later I'm looking at the online account activity and I see where my wife paid the $50 dollar grooming fee with her ATM card. The morning of the appointment I went to the ATM, got cash dropped off cat and returned home, giving my wife back her ATM card before she left for work. She didn't remember if I had paid the groomer so she paid for it when she picked up the cat.

So I had to call the owner of the place, explain the situation and see if she was going to credit back the $50. She said that she did not have any money overage's, but because her employee did not follow their procedure in giving the customer a receipt when they pay that she would credit it back. I told her I had my ATM receipt showing the time and date I withdrew the cash, and that I saw her employee write PAID on the job details sheet. She was nice about it, and everything worked out ok. We got to talking and I told her that I did PC repairs for my line of work and she wanted some work done on her work PC. So I arranged for a time and day that I could do the work and I gave her a discounted rate because she had been nice about giving me the credit back on the money discrepancy.

When your on a tight budget and a missing $50 dollars means alot, well I was hoping she would understand my situation and believe that I wasn't trying to con her out of anything, and she believed me. I really like the service they provide in getting my cats groomed when they need it and I didn't want to have to find a new groomer due to a dispute, so in my case everything worked out for the best.
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gameoverman
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« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2004, 09:03:24 AM »

That's a cool story JSHAW, that is one of those stories where everyone acts decent to each other and it all works out to everyone's benefit because of it. That restores my faith in humanity...for now anyways, hehe.
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Nameless
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« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2004, 02:29:28 PM »

Personally, I'd be more annoyed by the fact that someone came into my bedroom while I was asleep.  That freaks me out.  Way more than forty bucks.  I'd be getting a fricking alarm today if I were you.  What if he was a member of GG, got drunk and tried to put it..... oh, nevermind  :o
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JSHAW
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« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2004, 04:22:07 PM »

I don't think there's a win-win situation that you're going to get with this situation.

If your 100% sure that the money was in the wallet, and your 100% sure it wasn't misplaced or lost by your own doing then you have to make the decision on how to ask your roommate about it.

Like some have suggested you could ask him if he "borrowed" money from your wallet and forgot to tell you OR you can tell him straight up that there's money missing from your wallet and you are asking him if he took it. No matter what's his answer your probably going to feel that the trust factor is gone, and that you've got to have to kick the current roommate out and get a new one.

If you do get a new roommate, buy yourself a reliable thief-proof lock box and keep it somewhere where only you know about it. There are some small lock boxes that have programmable codes in the opening door. OR you can sleep with your wallet underneath your pillow at night.

Good Luck, I hope you and the roomie don't get into a big argument over the situation.
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Sparhawk
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« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2004, 05:21:06 PM »

God damn! Will you just ask him if he took the money?

You woke up and noticed money was missing from your wallet.

Your roomate is the only other person in the house besides you.

Simple.

Here I'll help you...


Roomate: "WHoa dude, like sufing the stars on my crack addiction."

You: Hi Roomy! Top O' The Mornin' to Ya! Chip Chip Cheerio, a Console Gold Merry-O!

Roomate: "..."

You: "Did you take $40.00 from my wallet for anything the other morning?"

Roomate: "Yeah. I had to buy some crack."

You: "Okay."
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ravenvii
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« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2004, 05:55:03 PM »

I'm 100% sure at least $40 is missing, and 100% sure I didn't spend it.

Basically my money in the wallet is split into two groups, 20's and 10's, 5's and 1's. When I looked, I found the 1's I thought I had, gone. But I'm not 100% that I spent it. But I know 100% that I have exactly 10 20's in there. Now there's only 8. That's $40.

Yes, that's alot to keep in my wallet, and yes I have a reason, and yes I'm going to "it's a long story" it. smile

I'm working to get a new room, so I'm thinking I'd wait until my move is certain, then chew his damn ass out. It won't make a difference then. And he owes me $20. He asked me if he could borrow $20, and as a nice guy, I lent him it. That's a month ago, and he never returned it. Then he asked me for another $20 again, and I just said "nah I don't have any". I guess that's what proimpted him to steal my money.
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Zealot261
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« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2004, 05:55:47 PM »

Buy some throwing knives and start practicing. That will probably scare the living daylights out him. If you feel really enterprising make an image with the text "the guy who stole my money" and start target practicing  :wink:
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JSHAW
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« Reply #21 on: December 06, 2004, 06:16:22 PM »

Quote
Roomate: "WHoa dude, like sufing the stars on my crack addiction."

You: Hi Roomy! Top O' The Mornin' to Ya! Chip Chip Cheerio, a Console Gold Merry-O!

Roomate: "..."

You: "Did you take $40.00 from my wallet for anything the other morning?"

Roomate: "Yeah. I had to buy some crack."

You: "Okay."


DAMN, I forgot that roommates are required to extend loan privledges for crack purchases even without receiving prior approval.  :lol:

From my understanding the Bank of Raven frowns upon cash withdraw's after normal business hours.  :lol:
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Jeff
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« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2004, 07:13:18 PM »

Quote from: "Zealot261"
Buy some throwing knives and start practicing. That will probably scare the living daylights out him. If you feel really enterprising make an image with the text "the guy who stole my money" and start target practicing  :wink:


lol  :lol:

hey Raven VII, does the guy even have a job? he sounds like a bum.
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Autistic Angel
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« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2004, 07:33:25 PM »

Here's the problem: in the scenario you've laid out, your roommmate unlocks your door from the outside, leaves the drawer ajar after stealing your money, and then goes out of his way to make sure your auto-locking door is left *unlocked* when he slips back out.  Doesn't that seem insanely sloppy to anyone else?

-Autistic Angel
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JSHAW
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« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2004, 07:54:38 PM »

Quote
Here's the problem: in the scenario you've laid out, your roommmate unlocks your door from the outside, leaves the drawer ajar after stealing your money, and then goes out of his way to make sure your auto-locking door is left *unlocked* when he slips back out. Doesn't that seem insanely sloppy to anyone else?


I guess it's safe to assume this guy's no Ethan Hunt. (Mission Impossible)
 :lol:
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Autistic Angel
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« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2004, 08:26:24 PM »

No, from the sounds of things, he's not even a Hudson Hawk.

-Autistic Angel
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gameoverman
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« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2004, 10:39:13 PM »

The fact that he left untold riches behind(8 20s) kinda rules out a generic thief, that kind of person would have taken ALL of it. Plus, he asked for money beforehand, so now I'd be sure the roommate did it too. That is, if you're absolutely positively, completely sure, you didn't do something with the $40 yourself.  

You know how many people say  "where are my glasses?" only to realize the glasses have been on their head the whole time? If you're sure something like that isn't the case with your money, then I'd at least ask for my loaned $20 back, adding "since I'm short about $40 I need it now".
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jpinard
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« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2004, 01:15:49 AM »

Raven, let us know what you do and how it turns out.
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Marik
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« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2004, 02:39:31 AM »

This guy isn't your friend, he's a tool who probably took your money.  Confront him.  Be direct and dont be overly dramatic.  You can just say, "Hey.  I'm missing 40$ from my wallet.  You're the only person I can think of who had access to it.  Anything you want to tell me?"

Watch his eyes and see how he responds.  If he blows up at you and appears angry at your accusation, he probably didn't take it.  If he starts hedging or asking what evidence you have...
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Wheelman
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« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2004, 03:37:20 AM »

Well I guess everybody knows it's okay to steal from jpinard, you'll never hear a peep out of him about it. smile Just kidding.

Gameoverman-

while I certainly understand the "why are you telling me about it" attitude, I really don't see anything wrong with how your friend acted (besides not keeping better track of his guns). As you can imagine it's vitally important not to lose your guns. What if he really thought you might know something about it, not that you stole it but that you saw it somewhere or something? I'd sure ask everybody I trusted about a missing gun.  Anyhow, I'm not going to armchair quarterback your actions, I wasn't there, I'm just thinking there must have been more to it to get you riled about him quizzing you.
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jpinard
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« Reply #30 on: December 07, 2004, 04:02:31 AM »

Hehe  - after that last post...  I changed my mind.  Call Homeland Security and ship him off to Guantanamo Bay!
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gameoverman
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« Reply #31 on: December 07, 2004, 05:58:39 AM »

Quote from: "Wheelman"
Gameoverman-

while I certainly understand the "why are you telling me about it" attitude, I really don't see anything wrong with how your friend acted (besides not keeping better track of his guns). As you can imagine it's vitally important not to lose your guns. What if he really thought you might know something about it, not that you stole it but that you saw it somewhere or something? I'd sure ask everybody I trusted about a missing gun.  Anyhow, I'm not going to armchair quarterback your actions, I wasn't there, I'm just thinking there must have been more to it to get you riled about him quizzing you.


It's just that I didn't go with him inside the house(we were in his backyard) to get the gun, so I had no idea where he was keeping it- he knew this. I didn't go back with him when he put it away after he showed it to me, so I had no idea where he put it- he knew this. Plus dozens of people, many of whom he didn't even personally know(friends of friends) had complete access to every room in his house over the course of a long weekend, while intoxicated no less- he knew this.  

I wouldn't have been bothered by him just saying "damn, remember that gun I had? Someone swiped it during the party", I would have just said "that sucks" and life goes on.  But he asked me if I knew what happened to it, implying I helped myself to it even for another look.  ME- one of his best friends, someone who had the run of his house for years(and he of mine) without disrespecting it in any way.  I was highly insulted.
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Autistic Angel
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« Reply #32 on: December 07, 2004, 03:01:43 PM »

Quote
I really don't see anything wrong with how your friend acted (besides not keeping better track of his guns). As you can imagine it's vitally important not to lose your guns.


I can imagine no such thing -- I don't see one single word in the Second Amendment about people having to bear arms "responsibly" or "within reason."

Sorry, Wheelman, but I can see you and your liberal anti-gun policies coming from a mile away.  It's all a slippery slope: one minute you want to require gameoverman's friend to keep track of where he left his gun or try to find out who took it, next you'll be trying to imply that people who are going to be wildly irresponsible with their firearms shouldn't be allowed to have any...and then you'll try to ban guns altogether!  Nice try.

If the founding fathers thought it was vitally important that people not misplace or lose their guns, they would have written it into the Bill of Rights.  Therefore, it was clearly their intention was to preserve the right of people to lose track of their firearms.  For you to imply otherwise suggests that you think our founding fathers were dumb and that you hate America.  Why do you hate America so much, Wheelman?

-Autistic Angel
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ravenvii
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« Reply #33 on: December 07, 2004, 04:28:51 PM »

Quote from: "Autistic Angel"
Quote
I really don't see anything wrong with how your friend acted (besides not keeping better track of his guns). As you can imagine it's vitally important not to lose your guns.


I can imagine no such thing -- I don't see one single word in the Second Amendment about people having to bear arms "responsibly" or "within reason."

Sorry, Wheelman, but I can see you and your liberal anti-gun policies coming from a mile away.  It's all a slippery slope: one minute you want to require gameoverman's friend to keep track of where he left his gun or try to find out who took it, next you'll be trying to imply that people who are going to be wildly irresponsible with their firearms shouldn't be allowed to have any...and then you'll try to ban guns altogether!  Nice try.

If the founding fathers thought it was vitally important that people not misplace or lose their guns, they would have written it into the Bill of Rights.  Therefore, it was clearly their intention was to preserve the right of people to lose track of their firearms.  For you to imply otherwise suggests that you think our founding fathers were dumb and that you hate America.  Why do you hate America so much, Wheelman?

-Autistic Angel


...

 :roll:
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Bulletpig
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« Reply #34 on: December 07, 2004, 04:48:26 PM »

Quote from: "Raven VII"
Quote from: "Autistic Angel"
Quote
I really don't see anything wrong with how your friend acted (besides not keeping better track of his guns). As you can imagine it's vitally important not to lose your guns.


I can imagine no such thing -- I don't see one single word in the Second Amendment about people having to bear arms "responsibly" or "within reason."

Sorry, Wheelman, but I can see you and your liberal anti-gun policies coming from a mile away.  It's all a slippery slope: one minute you want to require gameoverman's friend to keep track of where he left his gun or try to find out who took it, next you'll be trying to imply that people who are going to be wildly irresponsible with their firearms shouldn't be allowed to have any...and then you'll try to ban guns altogether!  Nice try.

If the founding fathers thought it was vitally important that people not misplace or lose their guns, they would have written it into the Bill of Rights.  Therefore, it was clearly their intention was to preserve the right of people to lose track of their firearms.  For you to imply otherwise suggests that you think our founding fathers were dumb and that you hate America.  Why do you hate America so much, Wheelman?

-Autistic Angel


...

 :roll:


?? How in the hell did you come up with that from his statement?  LOL

I would think most people would like to keep good track of their guns because they are normally valuable and also if your gun is lost and then shows up in a crime scene then you get to visit with the cops or whatever.

But from what planet you pulled this out of your ass saying the guy is a liberal anti-gun freak is beyond me.

Pig
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Aliasbuck
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« Reply #35 on: December 07, 2004, 06:21:01 PM »

and here I thought it was an attempt at being silly.  Go from a guy showing him a gun to hating america - bit extreme to be serious, no? smile
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Autistic Angel
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« Reply #36 on: December 07, 2004, 09:29:47 PM »

If anything, we should be *supporting* gameoverman's friend's right to lose his gun.  After all, as any sporting enthusiast can tell you, the more people there are out there who are packing heat, the less likely it is that anyone will be emboldened to attempt any sort of crime.  How many burglars, grade-school bullies, or purse-snatchers do you know who would try something if they had reason to believe their intended victim could shoot them dead?

gameoverman's friend lost his gun and had to purchase a replacement.  Assuming that another needy individual still has the missing firearm, that means there are now more guns in the hands of the American people.  Since more guns result a safer world, we can logically conclude that we are all just a little bit better off thanks to this incident.

Unlike our liberal "friends" who would condemn the redistribution of this gun as the fault of some woefully irresponsible owner whose carelessness has resulted in one more untraceable firearm on the streets, I enthusiastically applaud the altruism of the owner to leave his firearm where others could easily take it, thus offering someone else the opportunity to exercise their Second Amendment right to bear arms.

-Autistic Angel
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Wheelman
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« Reply #37 on: December 07, 2004, 11:20:26 PM »

I'm sure (well pretty sure) that you're being sarcastic. What I can't figure out is what you're making fun of. Liberal Ninny Gun Grabbers? Right Wing Militia Wackos? Me? I really haven't the foggiest.
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Autistic Angel
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« Reply #38 on: December 09, 2004, 08:09:48 PM »

No, it's nothing personal.  I'm just an individual who has been thoroughly convinced of the validity of the "slippery slope" argument when it comes to anti-gun legislation.  Since the slippery slope has, by definition, no logical beginning or end point, that means any potential restrictions on firearms is exactly as dangerous to our civil liberties as any other potential restriction.  

Therefore, when you say something like, "It's vitally important not to lose your guns," the slippery slope argument tells us that's tantamount to saying, "I think firearms of any kind should be made illegal and that gun ownership should be punishable by death."  Why?  Compromise on the slippery slope is impossible -- once you set things in motion by suggesting one regulation, the momentum will lead to another restriction, then another, and another, and another....

Clearly the only solution is to not only overturn, but also actively *reverse* all existing gun laws.  Instead of requiring guns to be registered, we should make gun registration illegal.  Instead of forbidding our children from carrying guns to school, we should make it mandatory.  Instead of taxing the sale of firearms, we should offer large tax incentives to people who own them.  Then, and only then, can we be assured of realizing the freedom our founding fathers intended in the Second Amendment and finally be safe from the insidious slippery slope.

-Autistic Angel
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mb737
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« Reply #39 on: December 09, 2004, 08:17:57 PM »

Quote from: "Autistic Angel"
we should offer large tax incentives to people who own them.  


  I would vote for that.  But then "they" would know how many and what types, so maybe I wouldn't vote for that.  I'm conflicted.
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