Went on a naked cruise - Now with link to NSFW pics

[TK-421]

I have mentioned this on here a couple times but now that it's just days away I am creating a thread for this. The wife and I will be embarking on a ten day, Caribbean cruise that will be entirely clothing optional for the duration.

The ship leaves Miami on Monday, the 14th (Valentine's Day) and returns on the 24th. Port visits focus on French Caribbean islands and include Martinique, St. Barth's, Guadelpue, and St. Martin. Additionally, a visit to the Celebrity Cruise Lines owned island of Coco Cay will also take place.

Once the ship leaves Miami all passengers will be allowed to wear as much or as little clothing as they desire including going completely nude. The only times passengers will need to be dressed is during dinner time (if eating in the main dining room), during the Captain's Party, and when in port.

I have always believed in the idea of naturism/social nudity but never actually engaged in it until now or in the near future anyway. I guess it's time to put my money where my mouth (among other things) is and see if I can actually participate in that ideal.

This trip was actually (mostly) my wife's idea. I had been planning a trip to St. Martin and was checking various travel agencies and villa rental sites and must have signed up for information from a dozen or more places. One of those places sent me a package that included a pamphlet for this cruise. I looked it over and thought it might be fun but figured the wife would never go for it so I tossed it on the coffee table thinking I'd throw it away later. When the wife came home she found it, looked through it, and decided that it looked like something fun to do. So I signed us up (this was over a year ago) and now the actual cruise is upon us. I'm apprehensive and enthused at the same time.

My understanding, which is backed up by visiting the travel companies forum, is that the majority of the passengers on this and similar cruises tend to be older, retired couples so I imagine the pool area is going to look like somebody left a bunch of elephant skin rugs laying about. I'm no treat to look at myself but I figure most of those folks have seen far worse so I'm not too worried about being embarrassed.

We plan on taking lots of pictures and I'll even try to post some of the SFW ones when we get back.

Naturally, three days before we leave I have come down with a terrible head cold and am congested with an awful sore throat. Been munching on Zicam's every three hours or so in the hopes of staving off much worse.

Have any of you folks ever been on a trip like this? Have you ever wanted to? Do you think I'm completely crazy?

[CeeKay]

TTDNNP.

 

[rshetts2]

I know The Meal and his wife MHS over on OO went on one of these a few years back.  They had a blast and of course the musical entertainment on the cruise was the Barenaked Ladies.  I myself am way too prudish and self conscious to participate in something like this.  Must be my guilt ridden catholic upbringing.   Good luck,  have fun but remember sometimes  "Zee goggles, they do nothing!"

[Chaz]

At least you can pack light.

[Graham]

How come I thought when I clicked on this thread there was going to be a joke posted with a punchline at the end?

[CeeKay]

How come I thought when I clicked on this thread there was going to be a joke posted with a punchline at the end?

Well TK-421 hasn't posted his nude pic yet.....

[JayDee]

At least you can pack light.

Time saved not packing should be used to provide extra manscaping.

[hepcat]

 

[Teggy]

I don't think the Barenaked Ladies cruise was clothes optional, they just traditionally take a picture on deck with everyone with their clothes off.

[PR_GMR]

We plan on taking lots of pictures and I'll even try to post some of the SFW ones when we get back.

Please... please, don't. Ohhhh, the humanity! 

[Laner]

Our honeymoon was (unknown to us when we signed up) at a beach where apparently clothing was optional.  The ratio of people you really didn't need to see exercising that option - compared to the ones who could pull it off successfully - was at least 10:1.

[hepcat]

Someone needs to alert Greenpeace.  This HAS to be a crime against nature.

[JayDee]

Our honeymoon was (unknown to us when we signed up) at a beach where apparently clothing was optional.  The ratio of people you really didn't need to see exercising that option - compared to the ones who could pull it off successfully - was at least 10:1.

But oh glorious :1, eh? 

[CeeKay]

Someone needs to alert Greenpeace.  This HAS to be a crime against nature.

Or Japanese whalers, but not for TK or his wife.

[PR_GMR]

Someone needs to alert Greenpeace.  This HAS to be a crime against nature.

 

[Knightshade Dragon]

Well, now that TK and his wife have come out as swingers, what's next on the docket?   

Seriously, regardless of the clothing business the cruise will be awesome. Wife and I went on a cruise a few months back - I hadn't felt that recharged in a long time.

[hepcat]

Well, now that TK and his wife have come out as swingers, what's next on the docket?   

Zekester turns out to be a civil rights lawyer for the ACLU and turns out to be an enemy of the NRA?

[PeteRock]

I have mentioned this on here a couple times but now that it's just days away I am creating a thread for this. The wife and I will be embarking on a ten day, Caribbean cruise that will be entirely clothing optional for the duration.

Given that clothing is optional I'd say it is a good thing this isn't around Christmas time with any pine trees around.   

[Daehawk]

Remember to at least wear platform shoes so nothing drags or gets dirty.

[CeeKay]

I have mentioned this on here a couple times but now that it's just days away I am creating a thread for this. The wife and I will be embarking on a ten day, Caribbean cruise that will be entirely clothing optional for the duration.

Given that clothing is optional I'd say it is a good thing this isn't around Christmas time with any pine trees around.   

he might want to have a cardboard box more readily available too.

[Zekester]

Zekester turns out to be a civil rights lawyer for the ACLU and turns out to be an enemy of the NRA?

 

[TK-421]

Sorry it took so long to get back to this thread.  Yesterday was one of the roughest work days I've had in recent memory. 

I know The Meal and his wife MHS over on OO went on one of these a few years back.  They had a blast and of course the musical entertainment on the cruise was the Barenaked Ladies.

 

I'm pretty sure the BNL cruise is not a clothing-optional or naked cruise.  It's a regular cruise and they take a group naked picture of those attending the show.  It's over in a few minutes and everybody is clothed the rest of the cruise.   She did say she enjoyed it though.

I myself am way too prudish and self conscious to participate in something like this.  Must be my guilt ridden catholic upbringing.   Good luck,  have fun but remember sometimes  "Zee goggles, they do nothing!"

I was the same way for the longest time.  I eventually grew up enough to shake of the Puritan ideals that sex and nudity are bad/dangerous.  Would have been nice if I could have done that when I was younger and in better shape but there you go. 

Given that clothing is optional I'd say it is a good thing this isn't around Christmas time with any pine trees around.   

Thank god for small favors. 

Someone needs to alert Greenpeace.  This HAS to be a crime against nature.

I'd want them around just to make sure nobody tries to stick a harpoon in my fat ass.

I can't lay down on the beach for more than five minutes before people start trying to push me back in to the ocean and dousing me with seawater to keep my from dying.

[Nonnahob]

I'd want them around just to make sure nobody tries to stick a harpoon in my fat ass.

I can't lay down on the beach for more than five minutes before people start trying to push me back in to the ocean and dousing me with seawater to keep my from dying.

 

Thank you for that, I needed a good laugh... haha. Good luck.

[mytocles]

I'd want them around just to make sure nobody tries to stick a harpoon in my fat ass.

I can't lay down on the beach for more than five minutes before people start trying to push me back in to the ocean and dousing me with seawater to keep my from dying.

 

Thank you for that, I needed a good laugh... haha. Good luck.

Agreed, lmao.

Tk, I admire people like you who've been raised ummm... sartorilly repressed, who still have some nervousness about going au naturel - but do it anyway - as truly brave people.  Good for you!

I wish I was one of them, but I haven't been able to force myself to be "optional" in my clothing.  Well, except for that first time, when I was young and adventurous.

Have a  blast!

 

[PeteRock]

I guess a question that seems to be at the back of my mind is if there is any reverse judgment on cruises such as this.  As an example, we know someone who belongs to a local nudist camp/living facility/club/colony (whatever you want to call it), and one night he had brought with him some clothed friends to a community social event who were not members of the organization (guests are permitted with prior approval).  He was admonished, scolded, and warned that any similar future infractions would be addressed with banishment from the facility.  The community members were livid about having clothed visitors within their midst.   

This anecdote leaves me wondering if the cruise is "clothing optional", is there any discomfort, judgment, or breaking of some unspoken rule associated with not removing your attire?  More or less questioning glances from guests traveling specifically to remove their attire in response to those who are less than willing.   

[Rumpy]

I know The Meal and his wife MHS over on OO went on one of these a few years back.  They had a blast and of course the musical entertainment on the cruise was the Barenaked Ladies.

 

I'm pretty sure the BNL cruise is not a clothing-optional or naked cruise.  It's a regular cruise and they take a group naked picture of those attending the show.  It's over in a few minutes and everybody is clothed the rest of the cruise.   

Yep, exactly.  It's more like a floating music festival with many bands performing, and with the novelty of a naked picture due to the cruise being hosted by the Barenaked Ladies. Think of it like Rock Boat.

[PR_GMR]

I'd want them around just to make sure nobody tries to stick a harpoon in my fat ass.

I can't lay down on the beach for more than five minutes before people start trying to push me back in to the ocean and dousing me with seawater to keep my from dying.

 

Thank you for that, I needed a good laugh... haha. Good luck.

Agreed, lmao.

Tk, I admire people like you who've been raised ummm... sartorilly repressed, who still have some nervousness about going au naturel - but do it anyway - as truly brave people.  Good for you!

I wish I was one of them, but I haven't been able to force myself to be "optional" in my clothing.  Well, except for that first time, when I was young and adventurous.

Have a  blast!

 

Mytocles is a 'never-nude'!! 

[TK-421]

I guess a question that seems to be at the back of my mind is if there is any reverse judgment on cruises such as this.  As an example, we know someone who belongs to a local nudist camp/living facility/club/colony (whatever you want to call it), and one night he had brought with him some clothed friends to a community social event who were not members of the organization (guests are permitted with prior approval).  He was admonished, scolded, and warned that any similar future infractions would be addressed with banishment from the facility.  The community members were livid about having clothed visitors within their midst.   

This anecdote leaves me wondering if the cruise is "clothing optional", is there any discomfort, judgment, or breaking of some unspoken rule associated with not removing your attire?  More or less questioning glances from guests traveling specifically to remove their attire in response to those who are less than willing.   

I do know that the organization that puts these cruises together very strongly reinforces the idea that these are clothing optional.  They want people to explore the idea of social nudity at whatever comfort level they choose.  If that means some people spend the entire ten day cruise in a parka and ski pants, so be it.

That said, I have seen some of the "Nude or GTFO" sentiment among some of the passengers in the forums but each time the moderators and other forum members will step in and remind everybody that the emphasis is on the optional part of clothing optional.

One of the first questions in their FAQ is in regards to getting an unintended erection.  They claim that in the 20 years they have been organizing these trips that it is extremely rare and that proper decorum calls for covering it with a towel until it goes away.

My plan to prevent accidental wood is that as soon as we clear the jetty and the call goes out stating it is OK to disrobe, I'm taking the wife back to the stateroom for a quicky followed by a shower.  That ought to keep things safely, um, "relaxed"  for the next hour or so.  By then I hope to be acclimated to the situation and can wander freely without fear of an improper introduction.

[Default]

I would think the sheer amount of saggy old men on board should be able to cure that condition, but I like the idea.

[TK-421]

I would think the sheer amount of saggy old men on board should be able to cure that condition, but I like the idea.

So does she.   

That woman is insatiable.

[PeteRock]

I do know that the organization that puts these cruises together very strongly reinforces the idea that these are clothing optional.  They want people to explore the idea of social nudity at whatever comfort level they choose.  If that means some people spend the entire ten day cruise in a parka and ski pants, so be it.

That said, I have seen some of the "Nude or GTFO" sentiment among some of the passengers in the forums but each time the moderators and other forum members will step in and remind everybody that the emphasis is on the optional part of clothing optional.

Fair enough. 

What about meals?  Is nudity encouraged throughout the cruise?  For me, I need some level of separation between food and uncovered "parts."  When we have summer barbecues and pool parties I don't go to the trouble of putting on a shirt when grilling, but the swimsuit stays on obviously.  And yet, in general I am a bit uncomfortable with the idea of cooking shirtless when preparing meals for friends (if not at a pool gathering I wouldn't consider cooking in my kitchen shirtless).  And outside of summer barbecues and eating while boating I think I would find attending formal meals like breakfast, lunch, or dinner a bit uncomfortable or even inappropriate without some level of covering. 

These are mostly curiosity questions as while I am not one to seek out opportunities to disrobe, I have no inhibitions about walking around naked in the locker room at the gym or after a shower while chatting with the wife.  But during dinner I'd never consider stripping down even if only myself and my wife were the sole diners.  Still, if I'm going to learn a bit about the culture this isn't a bad way to do so. 

[TK-421]

Guests must be dressed for dinner.  The rules state "no lingerie or fetish wear" but my understanding is people really push the lines.  Sheer see-thrus and/or a bared breast are common.  While the dinner doesn't have to be formal (unlike a regular cruise where suits/ties and dresses are the norm) many choose to use that opportunity to dress up.  Gentlemen in full Kilts are not uncommon.  I looked into getting a Kilt but my choices were $50 costumes or $300-$1000 full Tartans.  Maybe next time.

All other meals are clothing optional.  We plan to have breakfasts delivered to our room.  Lunches are typical cruise fair obtained from various sandwich, pizza, burger, etc eateries throughout the ship.

Excursions ashore are often clothing optional as well. We are booked on a clothing optional, seven hour catamaran/snorkeling excursion with a BBQ lunch on a private beach during our visit to St. Martin.

Forum posters on the cruise board recall a beach BBQ where one particularly portly gentleman was apparently unaware that his wing-dang-doodle was resting in the bean dip while he was fixin' his sandwich.  Bleh.

A common lament among the CO cruising crowd is that they always end up bringing more luggage on the CO cruises than on a regular "textile" cruise.  (To use their word.)

How is this possible?  Costumes.  There are at least three different costume contests scheduled for our cruise that I'm aware of and seven "theme nights" as well.  The first night out is, naturally, a Valentine's theme.  

This is what the wife will be wearing:
 


Since we are noobies at this we won't be participating in any of the costume contests but we certainly plan to watch.  I read that some of the costumes get really outlandish.

[morlac]

Forum posters on the cruise board recall a beach BBQ where one particularly portly gentleman was apparently unaware that his wing-dang-doodle was resting in the bean dip while he was fixin' his sandwich.  Bleh.

Ummmm beans and franks.   

[CeeKay]

Forum posters on the cruise board recall a beach BBQ where one particularly portly gentleman was apparently unaware that his wing-dang-doodle was resting in the bean dip while he was fixin' his sandwich.  Bleh.

Ummmm beans and franks.   

  the real question is how he became so comfortable with the feeling of bean dip on his ding dong that it all felt natural....

[TK-421]

Well, here it is just after 4am (CST) and we'll be heading to the airport soon.  Will be in Miami about 1pm (EST).

I have mostly shaken off this terrible head cold I've had the last few days but am dreading flying and breathing that dry, recirculated air.  That will probably make my sore throat and cough come back in a big way.

[Nth Power]

Have a great trip!  I hope there is nice and warm weather for you to enjoy and to prevent shrinkage.

[CeeKay]

Well, here it is just after 4am (CST) and we'll be heading to the airport soon.  Will be in Miami about 1pm (EST).

I have mostly shaken off this terrible head cold I've had the last few days but am dreading flying and breathing that dry, recirculated air.  That will probably make my sore throat and cough come back in a big way.

hopefully he remember the airport isn't clothing optional 

[TK-421]

We ended up arriving too late to the airport to catch our flight.  I guess 30 minutes isn't enough time anymore.  I am too used to only traveling with carry on luggage so we didn't have time to check our one bag. 

We caught a later flight to Dallas which meant an extra $100 in fees plus I had to call the limo company and let them know our new arrival time.

We spent two and a half boring hours at the DFW airport waiting for our flight to Fort Lauderdale. When it finally came time to board they stopped us at the gate and told us I had to check my carry on bag.  Ugh, really?  I've flown probably a dozen times using this bag as carry on and it's never been a problem.  You're right, it is three inches longer than the carry on bag measuring bin.  So?  Fine.  Check the damn thing.

Wow, so the overhead bin above our seat is almost completely empty once everybody had boarded.  Good thing you carry on Nazi's took my bag.  Whatever.

The flight from DFW to FLL ended up taking off a half hour late so by the time we got to Ft. Lauderdale I was hoping our limo driver hadn't decided we weren't going to show.  Fortunately he was still waiting for us at baggage claim.  Now we just had to wait for our bags.  I managed to get the first bag almost right away.  Then the conveyor broke down.  Took them 20 minutes to get it going again and another ten before my other bag finally showed up.

Then it was off in the limo (I'm 45 and this is the first time I've ever been in a limo) and smack into a traffic jam.  It was actually fine though as our limo driver was an ex-Navy guy like me so we swapped sea stories (including the time he almost got shot down by friendly fire over Kuwait City which resulted in his getting wounded in the line of duty).  By the time we got to the hotel it was dark and quite cool out which killed my wish to have a couple drinks on the balcony of our room overlooking the Atlantic.  Not that it would have happened any way as our balcony had no furniture what so ever.  I mean, what's the point of an ocean view balcony with no seats or a small table?

We ate a ridiculously expensive plate of chicken strips at the hotel bar and had a drink then went to bed.  I slept like crap as I usually do in hotels and woke up about 4am.   I dragged the desk chair out onto the balcony and watched the ships go by including at least one cruise ship as she went down the coast on her way to dock this morning at the end of another cruise.

Eventually, the sun came up.



The wife woke up about this time and we went downstairs and had a ridiculously overpriced breakfast.  There were perhaps a half dozen tables occupied around us and not a single conversation in English.  I heard at least three tables speaking French, one sounded like Russian, and then some Japanese and I think maybe some Korean.

Now we are relaxing and watching folks along the beach doing their morning jog or walking the dog and we are looking forward to heading over to the Port of Miami in a couple of hours to board the cruise ship.   I'm ready to get this cruise started. 

I'll be back in about ten days or so with updates and SFW pictures.  The NSFW pictures I'll be keeping for myself.

[Razgon]

Have an awesome trip, TK! Sounds like after the slight hiccups you guys are ready for the adventure.

Oh, you still have my mail adress for those NSFW pics, right? ;-)

[PeteRock]

I'll be back in about ten days or so with updates and SFW pictures.  The NSFW pictures I'll be keeping for myself.

Just try to refrain from telling us where you carry your camera without any pockets.