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Author Topic: Venting...When it rains it pours...  (Read 316 times)
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Arkon
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« on: July 16, 2013, 07:16:22 PM »

So tomorrow is my last day at IBM as I have officially been laid off and was unable to find a position into which I could transfer.  Last night I had to cut open a wall in my bathroom roughly the size of a 32" door in order to get to the water lines for the shower of my one and only bathroom as a water line was leaking.  And now my wife just came in the house in tears because she managed to wreck both of our cars in one fell swoop by backing out of the garage right in to my car which was parked in the yard.  Thankfully it is just cosmetic damage...I think but still.  My depression has kicked in full force and I am struggling to make it through each and every day.  I could really use a break to go my way.
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wonderpug
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« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2013, 07:28:11 PM »

I'm going through some pretty damn shitty shit right now too, so I can definitely relate to your current mood.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other and all that.  "This too shall pass" has been the mantra of the wife and I lately.

What kind of role did you have at IBM?  I'm sure a few of us forumers can check our internal job listings to see if we may be able to help in some way.
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Arkon
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« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2013, 07:40:13 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on July 16, 2013, 07:28:11 PM

What kind of role did you have at IBM?  I'm sure a few of us forumers can check our internal job listings to see if we may be able to help in some way.

I held two different positions while there, first was Application Support Engineer, and then the past 2 years roughly has been as a Technical Instructor.
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PeteRock
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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2013, 07:54:00 PM »

While the worst thing someone can say is "I understand what you're going through", I can at least relate if it is any consolation.  In 2009 I was laid off from a rather lucrative position after 10 years in the environmental industry, struggled to find any comparable level of employment, instead was told to settle for re-entering the profession back at the bottom despite 10 years of experience, shortly followed by my wife's 150-gallon saltwater aquarium breaking and flooding the first floor of our house (while she was away on business in California), causing thousands of dollars of damage and requiring an insurance claim.  I went through a number of months of fairly severe depression.  I could barely get out of bed, let alone muster up enough motivation to even turn the TV on.

Turning my mental state around took a very conscious decision and taxing physical effort.  But it all started with on step.  Followed by another.  And another.  I used my "free" time following my lay-off as an opportunity to completely gut our first floor and remodel it to better fit our needs and lifestyle, all on my own (with a bit of direction from a contracting friend of course).  It was hard, and slow-going, but it gave me constant feelings of accomplishment with every completed task, no matter how minor.  I returned to the gym and got back into strength training, dropping 45 pounds to get down to my current weight.  I then did some soul-searching to determine where I've been and where I'd like to be professionally.  I returned to college with my wife's complete support, took 2 1/2 years to complete the necessary healthcare prerequisites, was accepted to the #7 pharmacy school in the country, and am now about to enter the 2nd year of my Doctor of Pharmacy education. 

The main problem?  Turning things around takes time.  And the necessary amount of time differs from person to person.  I spent about 6 months in a level of depression I had never experienced before.  Up to that point I had scoffed at depression medication commercials, believing depression could never happen to me.  While my state never required treatment, it took every ounce of my being to make that first step, which was to attempt to renovate my house without any home improvement experience whatsoever.  I then made that step to return to the gym.  It hurt to just get out of bed, and here I was trying to strength train again, 45 pounds heavier than I had been upon graduating college.  I then made the decision to return to school, despite the looming sacrifice we'd have to make. 

Now?  Sure, things are hard.  But I look back at my darkest feelings of depression following my lay-off, and am thankful for that bout with adversity as I would not be on my current path, would not be as healthy as I currently am, and would not have worked so hard to improve my disposition.  And it has all helped to make my marriage stronger as well.

My point?  Things will not be easy.  But you're not alone.  This isn't the end.  And when you're ready to make that first step, each subsequent one gets easier and better.

Best of luck.  Fortunately you have a community like this to stand behind you each and every step of the way.   
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Gratch
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« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2013, 08:31:34 PM »

Quote from: PeteRock on July 16, 2013, 07:54:00 PM

My point?  Things will not be easy.  But you're not alone.  This isn't the end.  And when you're ready to make that first step, each subsequent one gets easier and better.

Best of luck.  Fortunately you have a community like this to stand behind you each and every step of the way.   

+1 to both of these.  Keep your head up and don't be afraid to reach out to us sort-of-anonymous folks if/when you need help.  GT/OO has provided unexpectedly great advice and support for me a number of times over the years.
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« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2013, 10:37:23 PM »

Quote from: Gratch on July 16, 2013, 08:31:34 PM

Quote from: PeteRock on July 16, 2013, 07:54:00 PM

My point?  Things will not be easy.  But you're not alone.  This isn't the end.  And when you're ready to make that first step, each subsequent one gets easier and better.

Best of luck.  Fortunately you have a community like this to stand behind you each and every step of the way.   

+1 to both of these.  Keep your head up and don't be afraid to reach out to us sort-of-anonymous folks if/when you need help.  GT/OO has provided unexpectedly great advice and support for me a number of times over the years.

This - we've got your back dude.   If there is anything we can do to help, or if you need Ceekay to post more pictures of Sting, we can arrange it.   icon_eek
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« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2013, 12:34:27 AM »

Quote from: Arkon on July 16, 2013, 07:16:22 PM

So tomorrow is my last day at IBM as I have officially been laid off and was unable to find a position into which I could transfer.  Last night I had to cut open a wall in my bathroom roughly the size of a 32" door in order to get to the water lines for the shower of my one and only bathroom as a water line was leaking.  And now my wife just came in the house in tears because she managed to wreck both of our cars in one fell swoop by backing out of the garage right in to my car which was parked in the yard.  Thankfully it is just cosmetic damage...I think but still.  My depression has kicked in full force and I am struggling to make it through each and every day.  I could really use a break to go my way.









Just kidding...hopefully that got a chuckle out of you..

Don't get stuck in the moment. This too shall pass.  Focus on the blessings you have to keep yourself from falling too far.  If you've been waiting for free time to get in shape, take up a hobby, do projects around the house, or whatever, now is the time.

It. Will. Get. Better.
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Harpua3
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2013, 06:27:00 AM »

As everyone has mentioned, these things suck, but do pass. At least that why my wife tells me;). All joking aside I've been in the longest funk for me ever. Working a shitty job, trying to back into the field I do well at. Little things shitting on me along the way. The fact of the matter is, you have really no choice but to deal with the crap, keep your head up, and move forward. I'm trying very hard at this now an I have been for over a year. Unpleasant, hell yes, impossible, nope.
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Harkonis
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« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2013, 10:03:45 AM »

Sorry to hear about your troubles Ark.  Hope you can keep your head above water  ninja

It definitely does seem like bad things snowball together though

(I was at one point a poster child for crappy crap happening to people, but I'm doing well now imo.)
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