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Author Topic: Updated: Sad day for a friend  (Read 3261 times)
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hepcat
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« Reply #40 on: July 29, 2008, 03:27:52 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on July 29, 2008, 03:25:51 PM

Quote from: hepcat on July 29, 2008, 03:19:20 PM


oh, i'm painfully aware that he doesn't think he has a problem.  the numerous lies he's been telling to cover up his fall back into drugs is proof of that.   icon_frown 

He's an addict.  He's not going to accept real help until he realizes himself that he has a problem and wants to deal with it.  I did, to a lesser extent, with cigarettes.  I 'quit' several years ago, but would smoke here and there every once in a while.  I finally stopped altogether at the beginning of the year after seriously considering WTF I was doing lying to all my loved ones and myself about it.  It was pretty easy after that.

Until your friend reaches that point, he's not going to quit or better his life regardless of how many times you tell him so.  Once he does, if he does, more than likely he won't need any help at all.

my last cigarette was on May 30th, 2007.  haven't had one since.  took 20 years to quit, though! 
« Last Edit: July 30, 2008, 10:36:38 PM by hepcat » Logged

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« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2008, 03:29:32 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 29, 2008, 03:27:52 PM


my last cigarette was on May 30th, 2007.  haven't had one since.  took for 20 years to quit, though! 

Congratulations, man!  Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I've ever had to do without a doubt.
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« Reply #42 on: July 30, 2008, 09:02:34 PM »

Does his family know how bad off he is?  It seems like a situation where an intervention needs to occur, from his friends and family.  People to take him aside and just put him into a program that he can't get out of.  Otherwise, its going to be difficult trying to get that person on the "right path".
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« Reply #43 on: July 30, 2008, 09:24:39 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 29, 2008, 03:27:52 PM

my last cigarette was on May 30th, 2007.  haven't had one since.  took for 20 years to quit, though! 

That's awesome hep.   thumbsup
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« Reply #44 on: July 30, 2008, 10:07:03 PM »

I'm not sure if I mentioned it on this board before or not, but I've been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for almost 3 years now.  There is nothing you can do to get your friend sober.  My experience has taught me that every addict/alcoholic has to reach his own bottom.  I also believe that every addict has his own Higher Power.  When your friend is ready to get help, there's plenty of it out there.  Until then, all you can do is pray for him.
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hepcat
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« Reply #45 on: July 30, 2008, 10:39:47 PM »

Quote from: Zero on July 30, 2008, 09:02:34 PM

Does his family know how bad off he is?  It seems like a situation where an intervention needs to occur, from his friends and family.  People to take him aside and just put him into a program that he can't get out of.  Otherwise, its going to be difficult trying to get that person on the "right path".

well, the friend who sent out the original email regarding this person is now planning an intervention.  he wanted to do it this weekend, but i told him that going into that type of situation armed only with experience gained from reality shows on the Lifetime Network and various sitcoms was a recipe for disaster.  they're now planning on doing it NEXT weekend, which I still think is too soon, to be honest.  we really do need advice if we're going to pull this off.  my friend is just amazing in his self-denial and I honestly believe he doesn't think he has a problem. 

anyone have any links with info on interventions?  or perhaps a contact for a help group that might give us some advice?
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« Reply #46 on: July 30, 2008, 10:46:56 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 30, 2008, 10:39:47 PM

Quote from: Zero on July 30, 2008, 09:02:34 PM

Does his family know how bad off he is?  It seems like a situation where an intervention needs to occur, from his friends and family.  People to take him aside and just put him into a program that he can't get out of.  Otherwise, its going to be difficult trying to get that person on the "right path".

well, the friend who sent out the original email regarding this person is now planning an intervention.  he wanted to do it this weekend, but i told him that going into that type of situation armed only with experience gained from reality shows on the Lifetime Network and various sitcoms was a recipe for disaster.  they're now planning on doing it NEXT weekend, which I still think is too soon, to be honest.  we really do need advice if we're going to pull this off.  my friend is just amazing in his self-denial and I honestly believe he doesn't think he has a problem. 

anyone have any links with info on interventions?  or perhaps a contact for a help group that might give us some advice?

If you find any helpful information please share as the GamingTrend community may have an intervention of its own to deal with. 
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« Reply #47 on: July 30, 2008, 11:08:18 PM »

Quote from: IkeVandergraaf on July 30, 2008, 10:07:03 PM

I've been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for almost 3 years now.

Congrats, Ike.  Overcoming addiction is fucking hard.
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« Reply #48 on: July 30, 2008, 11:31:06 PM »

Can't you just lock him up in the Betty Ford clinic or something? Or does that take a lot of money?  Surely there's somewhere he can go where he can safely get through withdrawal and get back on the right track.
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« Reply #49 on: July 30, 2008, 11:33:39 PM »

Quote from: Canuck on July 30, 2008, 11:31:06 PM

Can't you just lock him up in the Betty Ford clinic or something? Or does that take a lot of money?  Surely there's somewhere he can go where he can safely get through withdrawal and get back on the right track.

I think one must check in by their own will.  They cannot be forced or held against their will. 
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« Reply #50 on: July 30, 2008, 11:34:00 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 30, 2008, 10:39:47 PM

Quote from: Zero on July 30, 2008, 09:02:34 PM

Does his family know how bad off he is?  It seems like a situation where an intervention needs to occur, from his friends and family.  People to take him aside and just put him into a program that he can't get out of.  Otherwise, its going to be difficult trying to get that person on the "right path".

well, the friend who sent out the original email regarding this person is now planning an intervention.  he wanted to do it this weekend, but i told him that going into that type of situation armed only with experience gained from reality shows on the Lifetime Network and various sitcoms was a recipe for disaster.  they're now planning on doing it NEXT weekend, which I still think is too soon, to be honest.  we really do need advice if we're going to pull this off.  my friend is just amazing in his self-denial and I honestly believe he doesn't think he has a problem. 

anyone have any links with info on interventions?  or perhaps a contact for a help group that might give us some advice?

Does the plan involve an outside expert?  My own experience (limited) with interventions and what I've seen on TV suggests you need someone who can take charge and try and act as an independent third party but who also can honestly show they have experience with the situation.  An intervention of just friends and other concerned folks is more likely to get side-tracked or out of control.  You also need an immediate plan if the person is willing to accept that they need help, something like a place already set up to take them too.
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« Reply #51 on: July 31, 2008, 02:10:02 AM »

depending on where you live being involuntarily committed to treatment is only an option when the person poses a danger to the community.
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hepcat
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« Reply #52 on: July 31, 2008, 03:23:29 AM »

Quote from: Sarkus on July 30, 2008, 11:34:00 PM

Quote from: hepcat on July 30, 2008, 10:39:47 PM

Quote from: Zero on July 30, 2008, 09:02:34 PM

Does his family know how bad off he is?  It seems like a situation where an intervention needs to occur, from his friends and family.  People to take him aside and just put him into a program that he can't get out of.  Otherwise, its going to be difficult trying to get that person on the "right path".

well, the friend who sent out the original email regarding this person is now planning an intervention.  he wanted to do it this weekend, but i told him that going into that type of situation armed only with experience gained from reality shows on the Lifetime Network and various sitcoms was a recipe for disaster.  they're now planning on doing it NEXT weekend, which I still think is too soon, to be honest.  we really do need advice if we're going to pull this off.  my friend is just amazing in his self-denial and I honestly believe he doesn't think he has a problem. 

anyone have any links with info on interventions?  or perhaps a contact for a help group that might give us some advice?

Does the plan involve an outside expert?  My own experience (limited) with interventions and what I've seen on TV suggests you need someone who can take charge and try and act as an independent third party but who also can honestly show they have experience with the situation.  An intervention of just friends and other concerned folks is more likely to get side-tracked or out of control.  You also need an immediate plan if the person is willing to accept that they need help, something like a place already set up to take them too.

that's my fear, as well.  i dare say that none of us involved have any real experience in this type of situation.  i fear it's going to backfire, to be honest.  i just need to convince them that we DO need outside help. 
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« Reply #53 on: July 31, 2008, 03:38:39 AM »

Quote from: PeteRock on July 30, 2008, 11:33:39 PM

Quote from: Canuck on July 30, 2008, 11:31:06 PM

Can't you just lock him up in the Betty Ford clinic or something? Or does that take a lot of money?  Surely there's somewhere he can go where he can safely get through withdrawal and get back on the right track.

I think one must check in by their own will.  They cannot be forced or held against their will. 

Yeah, that's called kidnapping.
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hepcat
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« Reply #54 on: July 31, 2008, 02:38:19 PM »

well, i've contacted a couple of addiction centers and asked for help locating an "interventionist" in the area in which my friend lives.  hopefully i'll find someone who can give us the advice we need.

« Last Edit: July 31, 2008, 02:56:29 PM by hepcat » Logged

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« Reply #55 on: July 31, 2008, 02:51:39 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 31, 2008, 02:38:19 PM

well, i've contacted a couple of addiction centers and asked for help locating an "interventionist" in the area in which my friend lives.  hopefully i'll find someone who can give us the advice we need.

Good luck hepcat - like everyone else here, I've been lucky enough not to have done or been involved in one.  My limited knowledge is mainly from what I hear from others that have been involved and also from the internet.  I wish you the best in trying to help your friend and hopefully he will listen.
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hepcat
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« Reply #56 on: July 31, 2008, 02:56:36 PM »

wow, the national abuse center is a great hotline!  15 minutes after i'd emailed them for more info on an intervention, a rep called to walk me through some steps to take.  they gave me a number for a state run treatment center (my friend has no job, ergo no health insurance) and sent me links for info on how to run an intervention.  they told me that we can do it by ourselves, but that we need to read through the info packet she sent me AND that a bed be ready at the treatment center of our choice IMMEDIATELY following the intervention. 
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IkeVandergraaf
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« Reply #57 on: July 31, 2008, 10:37:29 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on July 30, 2008, 11:08:18 PM

Quote from: IkeVandergraaf on July 30, 2008, 10:07:03 PM

I've been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for almost 3 years now.

Congrats, Ike.  Overcoming addiction is fucking hard.

It's also incredibly rewarding.  My life is far richer than I ever thought possible.
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« Reply #58 on: August 01, 2008, 01:25:23 AM »

Quote from: IkeVandergraaf on July 31, 2008, 10:37:29 PM

Quote from: rickfc on July 30, 2008, 11:08:18 PM

Quote from: IkeVandergraaf on July 30, 2008, 10:07:03 PM

I've been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for almost 3 years now.

Congrats, Ike.  Overcoming addiction is fucking hard.

It's also incredibly rewarding.  My life is far richer than I ever thought possible.

In all seriousness, congrats Ike. That's awesome... now if we could only get CeeKay off the speedballs and smack.
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