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Author Topic: Things you can't unlearn  (Read 228 times)
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hepcat
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« on: July 08, 2013, 06:59:10 PM »

You know how kids will sometimes pretend that they're actually royalty and that their royal parents will someday come back for them, taking them away to a life of riches and splendor? 

I just found out today I grew up in a section of Ohio officially called "Appalachian Ohio". 

When I get home tonight, I'm building a still and throwing away all my shoes.  I'm going to start screaming that "REV-A-NOOERS" are coming every few hours, and I also need to buy 4 pairs of overalls.

Why couldn't I have just remained blissfully ignorant of my mountain man heritage?   icon_frown
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2013, 07:05:55 PM »

To be fair, that's like a full third of the state.  And Appalachia covers a whole lot of ground. 
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hepcat
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« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2013, 07:09:53 PM »

You don't understand an Ohioan's desperate need to not have anything in common with West Virginia though.  It's the primary reason the soap business became so huge over time, and it's also why we banned marriage between livestock and pure strain humans.
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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2013, 07:14:45 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on July 08, 2013, 07:09:53 PM

You don't understand an Ohioan's desperate need to not have anything in common with West Virginia though.  It's the primary reason the soap business became so huge over time, and it's also why we banned marriage between livestock and pure strain humans.

So you're good in either state then. thumbsup
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hepcat
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« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2013, 07:24:55 PM »

No...I'm GREAT.  

And I wouldn't throw stones.  Canada is just there so people can find Nova Scotia.  
« Last Edit: July 08, 2013, 07:31:55 PM by hepcat » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2013, 08:06:32 PM »

Edits? EDITS? WHAT DID YOU SAY?!! How dare you offend me with words not posted.

Also, no, Canada is here to act as a shadow-puppet to the USA, and also the main point of entry for the Chinese invasion forces.
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hepcat
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« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2013, 08:17:51 PM »

I had written "can get to Nova Scotia" originally.  Then I couldn't figure out if Nova Scotia was actually attached to Canada by any land mass.  A cursory search of maps on google didn't provide me the closure I wanted, so I opted to go with what I now consider the more amusing "can find Nova Scotia".  

I also entertained the thought of insinuating that Canada was a growth on Nova Scotia's ass.

But all of this has made me realize in the process that I'm obsessed with Nova Scotia.  Its siren song calls out to me.  I wonder if that country would accept me as an adopted son and allow me to live within its grassy boundaries.  Or if I'd yet again be faced with torch wielding villagers intent on finding out just what has happened to their missing livestock (news flash:  nothing good).

But these are the simple dreams of (what I now know to be) a hillbilly.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2013, 08:19:32 PM by hepcat » Logged

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CeeKay
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« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2013, 09:08:59 PM »

Quote from: Isgrimnur on July 08, 2013, 07:05:55 PM

To be fair, that's like a full third of the state.  And Appalachia covers a whole lot of ground. 

oh thank god, it's THAT part of the state.
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hepcat
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« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2013, 09:10:36 PM »

I checked.  You're in there too, punk. 
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« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2013, 09:21:42 PM »

nope, I'm in the educated free lands of Ohio, not the yeehaw meet my sister who is also my mother and my wife territories of the southeast.  I hear Scraper can play a mean banjo though smile
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« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2013, 09:24:14 PM »

Just over the weekend I was playing me some Bill Monroe while sipping on some shine. Good times here in the hills.
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