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Author Topic: Squirrel wars  (Read 696 times)
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Ironrod
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« on: August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM »

Last spring a blizzard brought down a tree limb that crushed a corner of our roof. We got it repaired after a few days, but not before a squirrel decided it would be a great place to live. So great, in fact, that Scampers got himself sealed up inside the eaves.

Well, no problem; squirrels are great at chewing, and Scampers soon made himself an exit. Which became an entrance as well. During his time in our eaves he decided he liked it well enough to move in permanently.

I did what I could to discourage that (given my rudimentary carpentry skills). Blocked up the hole; he reopened it. Filled it with mothballs and blocked it up again; he reopened it and tossed the mothballs aside. Sprayed a capsaicin pepper spray on all chewable surfaces; Scampers decided he likes spicy food. Sealed the hole up good with a metal plate and metal dryer tape; he chewed a new hole on the other side of the roof. Put some glue traps in the gutters; he tossed them to the ground. In the end I figured out his coming and going routine (dusk and dawn, basically) and left the ladder propped against the house. Every time I heard Scampers on the roof, I ran up the ladder and chased him away -- yes, getting out of bed at dawn to do this. After a week of that he decided the insane human was more than he could deal with, and finally stopped coming around.

Until yesterday.

Scampers is back. I exhausted my bag of tricks in the spring and I know that nothing works. We can't afford the ideal solution, which is to replace the roof, or even the next-best, hiring an exterminator. I have to solve this myself. So today I tried the last remedy that I hadn't tried last spring: I bought some fox urine.

Yes friends, I paid $16 for six ounces of piss and another $7 for some dispensers that go with it. Put one of those vile-smelling pots inside the roof, sealed up the hole with a sheet of vinyl and my metal tape, and put another pot of urine outside the hole. If this works it was $23 well spent. If it doesn't, I just paid $23 for piss.

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work? Firearms are not an option, unfortunately; discharging my shotgun would bring down a SWAT team in minutes.

Ultimately we really need a new roof, but that's not going to happen in the immediate future.
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« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2013, 07:58:34 PM »

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work? Firearms are not an option, unfortunately; discharging my shotgun would bring down a SWAT team in minutes.

Unfortunately, living in Indiana, that was my first, second, and third suggestion.  A .22 and a homemade suppressor would solve the problem fairly quickly, not that I would ever endorse such obviously illegal activity.   ninja
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« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2013, 08:00:34 PM »

Quote from: Blackhawk on August 27, 2013, 07:58:34 PM

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work? Firearms are not an option, unfortunately; discharging my shotgun would bring down a SWAT team in minutes.

Unfortunately, living in Indiana, that was my first, second, and third suggestion.  A .22 and a homemade suppressor would solve the problem fairly quickly, not that I would ever endorse such obviously illegal activity.   ninja

I do have a CO2 BB gun, but I don't think it has the killing power. Poison is out due to the possibility of killing neighborhood pets. And catch-and-release traps are illegal in Massachusetts. It seems the law is on the squirrels' side.
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« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2013, 08:06:54 PM »

The Havahart trap worked for us when we had a squirrel in the attic. Caught him after a couple days and drove him to the state line and explained how he wasn't welcomed anymore. The little bastard jumped back into the car.
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« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2013, 08:42:00 PM »

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 08:00:34 PM

Quote from: Blackhawk on August 27, 2013, 07:58:34 PM

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work? Firearms are not an option, unfortunately; discharging my shotgun would bring down a SWAT team in minutes.

Unfortunately, living in Indiana, that was my first, second, and third suggestion.  A .22 and a homemade suppressor would solve the problem fairly quickly, not that I would ever endorse such obviously illegal activity.   ninja

I do have a CO2 BB gun, but I don't think it has the killing power. Poison is out due to the possibility of killing neighborhood pets. And catch-and-release traps are illegal in Massachusetts. It seems the law is on the squirrels' side.

They prefer you kill that animal rather than catch and release?  Im surprised.  I was going to suggest live trapping but it looks like thats not an option.
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« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2013, 08:47:29 PM »

just build robot squirrels to take out the real squirrels!
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« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2013, 09:11:32 PM »

Snares are said to work well. It should be a clean enough kill to where you can clean him and cook him after.1 squirrel might not me enough for a 2 person meal unless you do some sides with it.  You would need to go squirrel stew,  it would definitely not be enough if you were planning on going with fried squirrel.  

Also, it would not be a clean kill, you would have to hit him a few times or get lucky, but a pellet gun should cause enough harm to kill him. 
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« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2013, 09:26:53 PM »

We had a problem with a squirrel a while back as well.  He really liked the wood of one particular shingle at the front of our house.  I work from home and usually in the living room, and I would hear him go at it @ 10am like clockwork.  I would get up, swing open the door, and he'd run away. 

In the meantime, though, he was damaging the house (and pissing me off).  I went through almost everything you mentioned, including the urine.  No luck (plus the urine will wash away and/or fade over time).  Finally, we called a humane society type service that typically deals with bats.  It was only $100 for him to come out, lay a havahart and take him away.

When he was in there, I came out and took a peek at him.  The little fucker hissed at me and launched himself against the cage.  When the guy came to pick him up, he got the same treatment, which surprised the hell out of him.  Looking the squirrel over, he said the bastard had the biggest balls he'd ever seen on a rodent.  He was not being figurative.

Anyway, try a google search for some alternate pest care places.
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« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2013, 09:30:41 PM »

pellet guns will maim him and he will eventually die, but it takes several hits and is far from a humane way to go.  crossbow pistol is the way slywink  put some holes in your roof yourself!
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« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2013, 10:48:55 PM »

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 27, 2013, 08:42:00 PM

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 08:00:34 PM

Quote from: Blackhawk on August 27, 2013, 07:58:34 PM

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work? Firearms are not an option, unfortunately; discharging my shotgun would bring down a SWAT team in minutes.

Unfortunately, living in Indiana, that was my first, second, and third suggestion.  A .22 and a homemade suppressor would solve the problem fairly quickly, not that I would ever endorse such obviously illegal activity.   ninja

I do have a CO2 BB gun, but I don't think it has the killing power. Poison is out due to the possibility of killing neighborhood pets. And catch-and-release traps are illegal in Massachusetts. It seems the law is on the squirrels' side.

They prefer you kill that animal rather than catch and release?  Im surprised.  I was going to suggest live trapping but it looks like thats not an option.

State law is a little opaque on the subject. The way I read it, squirrels are considered a game animal. One may only kill them in season (which starts in Sept). A pellet gun apparently isn't considered a firearm, although the law is hazy on that point. Certainly if a neighbor saw me leveling my BB pistol at a squirrel I'd have some 'splainin to do to Officer Friendly. Quite possibly from within a jail cell.

State law expressly says that traps or nets of any kind are illegal, regardless of season, unless you're a licensed exterminator.

Somebody suggested waiting until the squirrel is in the house so that I can claim that it made a threatening movement and I had to shoot it in self-defense.  icon_biggrin

Really, it looks like the only surefire way to get rid of Scampers is to hire an exterminator. I suspect that the laws were written specifically for that industry's benefit. Cost is estimated at $500-1000 to trap and remove the squirrel(s) and seal up the entry point(s).

Quote from: Bullwinkle on August 27, 2013, 09:26:53 PM

Finally, we called a humane society type service that typically deals with bats.  It was only $100 for him to come out, lay a havahart and take him away.

Some other Masshole online mentioned calling "animal control." Guess I'll have to look into that next if the fox piss fails.
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« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2013, 12:26:31 AM »

Spray yourself with squirrel pheromones.

You might even like it.
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« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2013, 02:39:08 AM »

Quote from: dbt1949 on August 28, 2013, 12:26:31 AM

Spray yourself with squirrel pheromones.

You might even like it.
Certainly the squirrel would.
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« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2013, 02:54:58 AM »

you could always give them some marijuana and let them smoke themselves to death slywink

of course if they get the munchies you might want to hide your nuts.....
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« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2013, 03:44:28 AM »

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 10:48:55 PM


State law is a little opaque on the subject. The way I read it, squirrels are considered a game animal. One may only kill them in season (which starts in Sept). A pellet gun apparently isn't considered a firearm, although the law is hazy on that point. Certainly if a neighbor saw me leveling my BB pistol at a squirrel I'd have some 'splainin to do to Officer Friendly. Quite possibly from within a jail cell.

This is why God invented blowguns.
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« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2013, 05:19:44 AM »

I just realized that this is not the same Squirrel thread I was thinking it was: http://gamingtrend.com/forums/off-topic/(movie)-squirrels/
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« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2013, 12:06:20 PM »

If you're looking to scare and hurt, an airsoft gun is also another option. It'll hurt, but won't injure unless you overpressure and hit a vital area. Airsoft guns are easy to get too.

Get the biodegradable pellets, and you don't have to worry about clean-up either.

It's less deadly to animals than metal BB pellets.
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« Reply #16 on: August 28, 2013, 02:17:53 PM »

A bare wire across his preferred entrance attached to house hold current?  Try not to kill yourself setting it up. 
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« Reply #17 on: August 28, 2013, 05:16:54 PM »

How about a medium sized mirror so he can fight himself over the space?
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« Reply #18 on: August 28, 2013, 05:25:35 PM »

it's time to escalate.  bring in a bobcat.
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« Reply #19 on: August 28, 2013, 05:28:11 PM »

Quote from: Caine on August 28, 2013, 05:25:35 PM

it's time to escalate.  bring in a bobcat.

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« Reply #20 on: August 28, 2013, 05:30:00 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on August 28, 2013, 05:28:11 PM

Quote from: Caine on August 28, 2013, 05:25:35 PM

it's time to escalate.  bring in a bobcat.



also a valid option.  who wouldn't be afraid of that?
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« Reply #21 on: August 28, 2013, 06:02:48 PM »

I wonder if Squirrels like to drink antifreeze.... Mebbe put a small dish of it inside the entrance.
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« Reply #22 on: August 28, 2013, 07:37:26 PM »

So far the fox pee seems to have done the trick. No squirrel visitations in the past 24 hours. I'm still not confident enough to put the ladder away, though.
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« Reply #23 on: August 28, 2013, 09:28:57 PM »

Is he using the tree as an access to the roof?  Can you trim the branches back so he can't get there?  There are much more powerful air rifles that would kill him outright but they are probably more expensive than getting a exterminator out to deal with the issue.

 
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« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2013, 10:38:29 PM »

Our house is surrounded by big old trees. I'd need to trim at least three of them to get the branches more than 20' away from the house (and the one that attacked my house last spring ought to be removed entirely). Tree work is wicked expensive.
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« Reply #25 on: August 28, 2013, 11:15:41 PM »

Boris and Natasha and maybe a moose.
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« Reply #26 on: August 28, 2013, 11:39:33 PM »

I'm surprised that nobody mentioned the easiest and most obvious answer...
Wait until he is inside the roof, then set fire to the house...
No Squirrel problem and you don't have to worry about repairing the roof either!
(Normally, a "Nuke from orbit" option would be viable, except that if you are not willing to face the law in regards to setting a trap, you probably wouldn't want to face them if you nuke your town, plus it's only 1 squirrel...3 would be another matter)


and how "illegal" is the trap option.. If it's say a $25 fine, that is less expensive then an exterminator....

or go the legal route... become an exterminator... now you have a backup job as well....
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« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2013, 01:47:26 AM »

For a backup job I've been thinking about raising foxes. $17 for a 6-oz bottle of urine? Unreal. (Love the company's name: Leg-Up Productions.)
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« Reply #28 on: August 29, 2013, 02:27:06 AM »

I would have tried human urine first.  Much cheaper.
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« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2013, 04:36:38 AM »

I seriously considered that. The literature was silent on that possibility. I'm a predator too, dammit.
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« Reply #30 on: August 29, 2013, 05:27:05 AM »

Quote from: Freezer-TPF- on August 29, 2013, 02:27:06 AM

I would have tried human urine first.  Much cheaper.

This is just asking for a out of context quote.
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« Reply #31 on: August 29, 2013, 05:29:39 AM »

Quote from: Caine on August 29, 2013, 05:27:05 AM

Quote from: Freezer-TPF- on August 29, 2013, 02:27:06 AM

I would have tried human urine first.  Much cheaper.

This is just asking for a out of context quote.

if you eat asparagus it'll stink worse; I'm sure that would either scare the squirrel off or possibly make it horny if it is a female squirrel.
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« Reply #32 on: August 29, 2013, 12:34:31 PM »

Quote from: dbt1949 on August 28, 2013, 11:15:41 PM

Boris and Natasha and maybe a moose.

Those two nogoodniks would use a comically oversized bomb to deal with the situation, but it would go off in their faces before getting anywhere near the squirrel.

And my buddy won't let me do it.
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« Reply #33 on: August 29, 2013, 12:52:50 PM »

Quote from: Ironrod on August 27, 2013, 07:35:53 PM

So, any tips or stories about getting rid of squirrels? Any gimmicks that really work?

Ahhh, well that read was like a comfy bed, all snuggly and warm.
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« Reply #34 on: August 29, 2013, 08:40:40 PM »

Squirrel Wars 2 - This time its personal

Why do I think of a cheesy type of flic when thinking of this. Or even a Bill Murray escape a la caddyshack as I read through the thread. Good luck with the eviction process.
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« Reply #35 on: September 04, 2013, 08:00:57 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on August 29, 2013, 05:29:39 AM

Quote from: Caine on August 29, 2013, 05:27:05 AM

Quote from: Freezer-TPF- on August 29, 2013, 02:27:06 AM

I would have tried human urine first.  Much cheaper.

This is just asking for a out of context quote.

if you eat asparagus it'll stink worse; I'm sure that would either scare the squirrel off or possibly make it horny if it is a female squirrel.


I'm told it's not the pee that smells like asparagus, but rather the ability to smell the asparagus in said pee.


I can always smell it, no one else in my family smells it. Though they won't come smell my pee, no matter how much I plead.

I say it's like having a super-power. So, if Scampers is indeed super, then he can smell the asparagus. If not, well, it's just plain pee.

Either way, this is a wonderful thread. It's good to be back.
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« Reply #36 on: September 04, 2013, 08:35:32 PM »

Quote from: Ironrod on August 29, 2013, 01:47:26 AM

For a backup job I've been thinking about raising foxes. $17 for a 6-oz bottle of urine? Unreal. (Love the company's name: Leg-Up Productions.)

Consider for a moment what you have to do to catch fox urine... yeah, I think buying it is jsut fine.
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« Reply #37 on: September 04, 2013, 09:11:08 PM »

Just to update...the squirrel never came back. I conclude that the fox urine actually worked. Especially if this is the same diehard squirrel that plagued me in the spring.
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« Reply #38 on: September 04, 2013, 09:48:12 PM »

Quote from: Ironrod on September 04, 2013, 09:11:08 PM

Just to update...the squirrel never came back. I conclude that the fox urine actually worked. Especially if this is the same diehard squirrel that plagued me in the spring.

Die hard squirrel?

check the vents!

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Re:
« Reply #39 on: September 04, 2013, 09:55:19 PM »

biggrin
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