Pre-post apology for a long post.
I have a very rare eye defect
called Duane's Syndrome
. (Figured the cute girl could explain it better than me.)
I generally go cross eyed when looking straight ahead when my head points forward, or when I look to my left. I get double vision too. 7 out of 10 times, the person I am talking to turns behind them to see who I am talking to - not joking. As a school teacher, everyday my 10 year old students do that innocently. I compensate by having a perpetual turn of my head. Every photo of me has me with my eyes looking at the camera but my head point a bit more than slightly to the left.
I'm 39 now and have had DS since birth. Nothing was ever done about it - only in recent years is there a surgical option. I do not want the surgery.
In college I was finally sick of people looking behind them when I spoke to them due to my head tilt, so I got prescription prism glasses which did nothing.
Fast forward to now. As I said, I'm a 5th grade teacher. I'm married, have awesome kids, great social life, etc. I used to have 20/20 vision, but that has gone down hill faster and faster with each passing year - my affected eye leading the charge by a mile.
I've had it! I can't play baseball: batting is impossible; golf also. I've been playing guitar for a couple of months now, but my neck gets so tired and
sore turning too far to compensate for my DS affected vision.
So I tried playing with an eye patch.
Wow. Even though I use reading glasses and sometimes regular (non-reading glasses), my vision is clearer with a patch over my bad eye. I tried wearing the patch while not playing guitar, and minus some disorientation, I think it is better this way.
But I'm wearing a freaking patch...!
Still, it might be preferable over always breaking eye contact with people due to my eyes crossing, or stressing about seating arrangements at social events (I always enter a room and first look where I can sit without having to look to my left), or getting very frustrated when people look behind them as
I talk to them.
I'm not getting surgery - the thought makes me sick. But then again, I am so sick of DS. I HATE it. It affects my daily life always - for 39 years! And
there is no cure - my eye is more a nuisance than anything and it will only get worse if the trend continues.
So... any advice? By wearing a patch, even for REAL reasons, am I entering douche territory? I know I have not lost an eye - I just have one that has created countless problems and will never get better. I might as well not have it!
Ok, so I'm being dramatic. But still, this has been a huge pain my whole life. Not an hour has passed in my entire life that I have not thought about or noticed my eye defect. Many people never notice, but others do. I am lucky that I have gone through life with minimal teasing. Usually when someone notices, friends or strangers, they look away and a silence falls... I am so self conscious of this...
Might as well finally draw attention to my bad eye in a better way. I am so sick of the looks people give me when they notice something is off. I am so
sick of all the photos of me with my head at an angle. I am so sick of not being able to talk with someone on my left side and appearing to lack confidence as I continually look away instead of twisting my head way too far or looking cross-eyed.
Please share advice. Is this just a stupid idea? Will wearing a patch make things much worse? Or am I onto something? There are cool websites with cool patches, so I won't look like an old man with a goofy big round eye patch. But will I look goofy no matter what?
Thanks for reading this loooong post...
Post-post apologies if this all doesn't make sense. Did you read all that?? There's no way I'm going back and editing that...