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Author Topic: Question for the Parents on the Boards *Update - Night 1  (Read 2398 times)
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rickfc
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« on: May 16, 2008, 01:23:16 AM »

A little backstory first:

My daughter just turned 2 last month.  Since she was about 6 months, she's been using a pacifier only to sleep.  In fact, she's dependent on them to get to sleep.  We have been debating different ways to break her habit, but at the end of the day, we haven't had the heart, or the balls, to do so.

Fast-forward to August.  My mother-in-law's health has been steadily declining, and she will no longer be able to take care of my daughter while my wife and I are at work, so we're putting her in daycare.  While touring the daycare facility, I casually asked if pacifier use was allowed for nap time, which I was of course told that it was not. 

My question is this: Did your child/children use pacifiers?  If so, how did you break the habit?  We're going to start weaning her off starting tonight.  One of the most common suggestions was to cut off the tip of the pacifier so the child senses it broken and no longer wants it.  That's all well and good, but my wife did that with my daughter for her nap today, and the end result was that she did not take a nap.  It's now getting close to her bedtime, and I'm nervously anticipating a long night.

And no, CeeKay, I'm not spiking her juice.  biggrin
« Last Edit: May 16, 2008, 02:31:48 PM by rickfc » Logged
Austin
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« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2008, 01:26:18 AM »

My son used one, my daughter did not.  We let mey son have his until we returned from a trip after christmas one year.  He was about 15 months old and we just took it.  We figured we did not want to wait until he knew wtf was going on. slywink  He would eye other kid's pacifiers but never really went after them, nor did he complain after a few days.  Cold turkey.  You are not going to damage the kid, just take it.
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« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2008, 01:29:56 AM »

Son used one til about 18 months.  Took it away after bedtime one night.  When he asked for his 'pappy' we told him it went bye-bye.  Wasn't a big deal for us.
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the Nightbreeze
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« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2008, 01:37:19 AM »

If you want to make a show of it, you could explain the "pacifier fairy" is coming and will leave Big Girls or boys a present for all their pacifiers, which she can give to give the babies.

If they are excited about the Easter bunny and Santa, and you're worried that they might be reluctant otherwise, it's worth a shot. 

Cold Turkey likely works enough if you catch them young enough.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2008, 01:38:05 AM »

My daughter was never interested in them.  We tried on occasion (a plug is sometimes very attracted) but kind of half-heartedly because of the horror stories we've heard about weaning them off later. 

Got another daughter arriving in July and I'm hopeful that we can avoid a pacifier again but we'll see. 
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The Grue
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« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2008, 01:48:11 AM »

Just took it away for both of them.  I had to force my wife to make it happen.
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Lassr
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« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2008, 02:03:07 AM »

My son and daughter both gave their's to our dogs. I think they were both around 2 years old. We'd just say the dog needs a pacifier and they gave it to them. The child has to give the pacifier up. It's easier for them to accept if they were responsible for it's loss. They only asked about the pacifier a few times and we'd simply say "You gave it to Shasta." or "You gave it to Scooby" in my son's case.

No problems.
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rickfc
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« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2008, 02:27:27 AM »

Thanks, guys!  We put her down with one that has the tip cut off, and she seems to be ok so far.  We'll see what happens later on in the night. 
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faide
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« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2008, 04:21:56 AM »

We went cold turkey for both our kids as well.  My daughter was about the same age as yours when we did it.  It bothered her the first night or two, then after that she didn't seem to mention it but every once in a while.
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« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2008, 06:32:02 AM »

If my daughter had used one, in the end we simply would've taken it away.  Whenever we've had to make any change to her routine it's always been like that.  They adapt very quickly at such a young age and soon forget what used to be the norm.  I think we'd have had one or two difficult nights at most, then back to peacetime.
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Jag
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« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2008, 01:43:59 PM »

Cold turkey.
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iloveplywood
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« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2008, 02:29:40 PM »

Mine was addicted to them and we just told him it was time to pass them along to younger kids -- made up some weird story and surprisingly it worked.  He asked about them a couple of times and that was that.

In other words cold turkey should work fine as I'm pretty sure the story didn't do anything.
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rickfc
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« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2008, 02:48:23 PM »

Again, thanks to all of you guys who have replied with your previous experiences.

Night 1 went a little like this:

Since she hadn't taken a nap yesterday, my daughter was to the point of passing out after her bath.  I put her in her crib, and she whined a little about her "broken" pacifier (my wife had cut the tip off).  She would put it in her mouth, pull it out and inspect it, and try putting it back.  Eventually, she passed out without it.  Success!  Well, not quite.  At around 2am, she woke up and started calling for daddy (there are times where I hate being the favorite  crybaby).  Anyway, she played until around 4:30, at which time she fell asleep next to me on the bed and snored away until 8:30 or so.  Daddy, on the other hand, didn't sleep much as he was pushed off against the edge of the bed with a snoring baby up against him.

Oh well, at least she went the night without her pacifier.  smile

Small victories...
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Razgon
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« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2008, 02:51:59 PM »

Cold turkey for both my kids - put it up on the pacifier tree in the nearby part where there's about a gazillion others...

took a few nights of hardship, but no trouble after that...

Good luck and stay tough!
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Austin
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« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2008, 02:55:21 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on May 16, 2008, 02:48:23 PM

Again, thanks to all of you guys who have replied with your previous experiences.

Night 1 went a little like this:

Since she hadn't taken a nap yesterday, my daughter was to the point of passing out after her bath.  I put her in her crib, and she whined a little about her "broken" pacifier (my wife had cut the tip off).  She would put it in her mouth, pull it out and inspect it, and try putting it back.  Eventually, she passed out without it.  Success!  Well, not quite.  At around 2am, she woke up and started calling for daddy (there are times where I hate being the favorite  crybaby).  Anyway, she played until around 4:30, at which time she fell asleep next to me on the bed and snored away until 8:30 or so.  Daddy, on the other hand, didn't sleep much as he was pushed off against the edge of the bed with a snoring baby up against him.

Oh well, at least she went the night without her pacifier.  smile

Small victories...

Yay for unsolicited advice!  You could just ignore her calls for Daddy and not bring her back to bed where she plays and keeps you up.  You must become like steel to resist the pleas of the 2 year old cutie.
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rickfc
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« Reply #15 on: May 16, 2008, 02:58:48 PM »

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 02:55:21 PM


Yay for unsolicited advice!  You could just ignore her calls for Daddy and not bring her back to bed where she plays and keeps you up.  You must become like steel to resist the pleas of the 2 year old cutie.

I don't have it in me to hear her wailing, especially when she's calling for me.  She doesn't start doing that unless it takes me a long time to get to her room, so usually it's just "daddy, where are you?" in the sweetest possible tone.  I can't say no to that.  If I have to put up with her staying up a few more nights, I'm ok with that.  smile
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Austin
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« Reply #16 on: May 16, 2008, 03:02:48 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on May 16, 2008, 02:58:48 PM

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 02:55:21 PM


Yay for unsolicited advice!  You could just ignore her calls for Daddy and not bring her back to bed where she plays and keeps you up.  You must become like steel to resist the pleas of the 2 year old cutie.

I don't have it in me to hear her wailing, especially when she's calling for me.  She doesn't start doing that unless it takes me a long time to get to her room, so usually it's just "daddy, where are you?" in the sweetest possible tone.  I can't say no to that.  If I have to put up with her staying up a few more nights, I'm ok with that.  smile
DaDeee!  DaDeee! 

Although she can climb out of her crib now.  We have a pretty good handle on her in that regard and she might get out once or twice a week.  I heard her sneaking back and forth the other night and startled her and she went sprinting back to her room, slamming her door behind her.  I entered to see her climbing back into her crib which was now filled with at least 40 books.   icon_lol

We have new furniture coming at the end of the month which means a big-girl bed.  I imagine we'll have a few nights of issues with that also now.  Remember, become like steel or ice. slywink
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #17 on: May 16, 2008, 03:03:48 PM »

Ugh, I generally won't put up with her getting up in the middle of the night unless she's sick.  If she's sick then I'm happy to put her in our bed.  But if she wakes up in the middle of the night and just wants to play (this has only happened once) , then as bad as it makes us feel we won't go get her because I don't want her making a habit of it. 
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #18 on: May 16, 2008, 03:05:22 PM »

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 03:02:48 PM

We have new furniture coming at the end of the month which means a big-girl bed.  I imagine we'll have a few nights of issues with that also now.  Remember, become like steel or ice. slywink

I was shocked at how smoothly the transition to the big girl bed went.  I was expecting a lot of her getting out of bed and playing in the  middle of the night but so far (about four months and she hasn't done that yet.  The worst that happened is that earlier this week we found that she had turned on her bedside lamp at some point in the night. 
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rickfc
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« Reply #19 on: May 16, 2008, 03:06:01 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Grey on May 16, 2008, 03:03:48 PM

Ugh, I generally won't put up with her getting up in the middle of the night unless she's sick.  If she's sick then I'm happy to put her in our bed.  But if she wakes up in the middle of the night and just wants to play (this has only happened once) , then as bad as it makes us feel we won't go get her because I don't want her making a habit of it. 

She really only does that when something's up, like being sick or other outside factors.  That's why I don't mind doing it.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2008, 03:10:39 PM »

Hmm, now that I think about it I think I need to reconsider what I said- we did have an incident with a "monster" being in her bed not long ago and I think it was so late and my wife and I were so tired we just put her in our bed for the rest of the night.  There was a little trepidation from her about going back into her room the next day but thankfully it was the rare night when she conked out on the couch before bedtime and I was able to just put her in the bed without any cajoling. 
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rickfc
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« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2008, 03:14:52 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Grey on May 16, 2008, 03:10:39 PM

Hmm, now that I think about it I think I need to reconsider what I said- we did have an incident with a "monster" being in her bed not long ago and I think it was so late and my wife and I were so tired we just put her in our bed for the rest of the night.  There was a little trepidation from her about going back into her room the next day but thankfully it was the rare night when she conked out on the couch before bedtime and I was able to just put her in the bed without any cajoling. 

You LIE, KG!!!! I can't believe a word coming out of your mouth anymore.  You're dead to me!  biggrin
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2008, 03:16:48 PM »

icon_lol
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Austin
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« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2008, 03:24:55 PM »

Cool, can I hijack now that the advice is given?  Tongue

With regard to monsters and robots, fortunately they seem to live outside of Luke's window and closing the curtains keeps them from peering or coming in.  We've been trying to get him out of pull-ups at night.  (He's 4)  He actually really has taken to wearing underwear to bed to the point of outright rejecting the idea of pull-ups.  He's been potty-trained during the day since ~August.  He doesn't drink after dinner and pees before bed.  Actually last night he yelled and whined for about 6 seconds which I thought meant he was wet.  I went up and he was dry and hardly awake.  I scooped him up and brought him into the bathroom and stood him in front of the toilet.  He did his thing and went back to bed all smiles as I of course told him how awesome he is for peeing - yay parenting!  He still wets the bed though.  He came down dry this morning but he had changed.  One night this week he peed 3 times.  (And that's after peeing before bed and once after the first bed wetting)

I'm not going to make him sleep in it; that seems excessive especially if he's doing it in his sleep, unawares.  Any advice?  Just keep at it?  (Been about 10-12 nights maybe - Night 1&2 fail, nights 3-4 success, nights 5-12 fail with a couple epic fail)
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rickfc
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« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2008, 03:31:30 PM »

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 03:24:55 PM


I'm not going to make him sleep in it; that seems excessive especially if he's doing it in his sleep, unawares.  Any advice?  Just keep at it?  (Been about 10-12 nights maybe - Night 1&2 fail, nights 3-4 success, nights 5-12 fail with a couple epic fail)

I haven't crossed that bridge just yet, but from everything I've been told, potty training boys is hella harder than girls.  I would probably Google it or go to AmericanBaby.com.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2008, 03:33:05 PM »

Yeah, we're still working on the basics of potty training but she hasn't got to the stage yet when it's safe to go without Pull-ups for any extended period of time, especially overnight. 
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Austin
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« Reply #26 on: May 16, 2008, 03:37:42 PM »

Well yeah, Savannah is our 2 year old (since January) and she goes on the toilet (not the potty mind you, she manages to climb on to the toilet - except the one time she pooped, she chose the plastic potty  Roll Eyes ) but is far, far away from the overnight thing and is not quite read for undies during the day.  Luke was almost 4 before he potty trained fully.  He's ~4.5 now so the overnight thing would be nice.  We can't wait until we don't have to buy diapers or pullups anymore.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #27 on: May 16, 2008, 03:42:04 PM »

I told my daughter that when her sister arrives this summer we're only buying one kind of diaper so she either better get potty trained or get used to a really tight fit.

I don't think she listened to me....

My wife was interested in trying a technique where you let them run around naked and pee and poop on themselves. Supposedly they hate the feeling so much it trains them in short order.  She was waiting until the summer to try it when she has free time (she's a school teacher) but a couple of weeks ago my daughter took her diaper getting ready to go upstairs for a bath and then had an accident on the kitchen floor.  Considering that my wife pretty much froze  and then let me clean it up, I don't really think she'll be able to handle several days of that. 
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« Reply #28 on: May 16, 2008, 03:57:40 PM »

My wife read an article about the 3-day potty training technique.  From what I understand, you have to start with about 40 pair of underwear and use only them.  Everytime he/she goes to the bathroom, you change them and say "now keep your underwear dry" and show them where the toilet is.  Day 1 is supposed to be horrible, Day 2 a little better, and most get it completely by Day 3. 

I'll have to see if it was an online article and link to it for you.  We haven't tried it yet (supposedly they have to be at least 2 and our daughter is just under that), but 5 of her friends tried it and it worked for all of them.  Most were very skeptical at the start, but all were believers by the end.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #29 on: May 16, 2008, 04:00:00 PM »

I'd love a link.  We would *really* like to have her trained before her sister arrives.  It's not like she isn't capable it's just that often she's too busy doing other things to feel like taking time out to go to the bathroom.
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rickfc
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« Reply #30 on: May 16, 2008, 04:02:47 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Grey on May 16, 2008, 04:00:00 PM

I'd love a link.  We would *really* like to have her trained before her sister arrives.  It's not like she isn't capable it's just that often she's too busy doing other things to feel like taking time out to go to the bathroom.

+1.  It sounds well and good until she goes #2... puke
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« Reply #31 on: May 16, 2008, 04:04:52 PM »

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 03:24:55 PM

Any advice?  Just keep at it?  (Been about 10-12 nights maybe - Night 1&2 fail, nights 3-4 success, nights 5-12 fail with a couple epic fail)

We're at the same point. He's 4.5 and is totally potty trained during the day, but still in pull ups every night. He wants them off and my wife told him if he has 5 dry nights he's in. He gets VERY excited when he has a dry night, but so far he's only gone 3 dry in a row, so we're still waiting on him.
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« Reply #32 on: May 16, 2008, 04:13:30 PM »

Quote from: Jag on May 16, 2008, 04:04:52 PM

Quote from: Austin on May 16, 2008, 03:24:55 PM

Any advice?  Just keep at it?  (Been about 10-12 nights maybe - Night 1&2 fail, nights 3-4 success, nights 5-12 fail with a couple epic fail)

We're at the same point. He's 4.5 and is totally potty trained during the day, but still in pull ups every night. He wants them off and my wife told him if he has 5 dry nights he's in. He gets VERY excited when he has a dry night, but so far he's only gone 3 dry in a row, so we're still waiting on him.

My oldest son is 5 1/2 and still in pull-ups.  We've tried on a few occasions over the past couple of years to 'cold turkey' him on overnight pull-ups, hoping that he'd learn to hate the wet feel and get up to pee in the middle of the night.  The only problem is that he is an extremely deep sleeper, so that doesn't work.  We tried the 'you change your own bedsheets when you wet the bed' on the off-chance that wetting the bed was a conscious choice.  No luck there either.  I suspect that his bladder is also smaller than normal.

His pediatrician is of the opinion not to worry about it yet since some kids don't stop wetting the bed until age 9 or so.  (Since that was my case, I suspect this may be genetic.)

So since there doesn't seem to be anything *he* can do to help himself, we're just resigned to waiting until his body is ready.  Especially now that he's in a top bunk.  Changing those bed sheets sucks.
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« Reply #33 on: May 16, 2008, 04:14:45 PM »

My only advice about night time "potty training" comes from my own experience as a child as my own child is not old enough.  I realize this is opening myself up to much ridicule but here goes...

Be patient... I had very slow developing bladder control and had issues until I was almost 9 with wetting the bed.  My parents did the whole no liquids after dinner etc...but if I didn't wake up at least twice a night I would generally wake up wet.  Just because they are fine during the day doesn't mean they will be able to make it through the night anytime soon.  I took a a lot of emotional abuse from my siblings over this and it really was embarrassing not being able to sleep over at friends houses.  Thankfully my parents were very patient and understanding with me, once the doctors figured out why I was having so many issues.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #34 on: May 16, 2008, 04:14:57 PM »

Quote
His pediatrician is of the opinion not to worry about it yet since some kids don't stop wetting the bed until age 9 or so.  (Since that was my case, I suspect this may be genetic.)

Has the pediatrician actually had test done ruling out a potential medical issue?
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« Reply #35 on: May 16, 2008, 04:40:30 PM »

My wife breast fed all 3 of our kids and we decided from the get go no pacifiers...or as they're called in England...dummies.

But we have friends who asked the same thing, pretty common problem.

I really think the best way is just stop doing it. Yes there will be withdrawels, but thats where parenting isn't for the soft.
Stick to your guns, work through a couple of rough bed\nap times and all will be well.

Parenting never becomes easy, it morphs and changes all the time, but its never easy.

That being said, its the greatest thing I've ever done.

All the best.

Stick to your guns...........
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« Reply #36 on: May 16, 2008, 05:57:03 PM »

Quote from: Shinjin on May 16, 2008, 04:13:30 PM

His pediatrician is of the opinion not to worry about it yet since some kids don't stop wetting the bed until age 9 or so.  (Since that was my case, I suspect this may be genetic.)

So since there doesn't seem to be anything *he* can do to help himself, we're just resigned to waiting until his body is ready.  Especially now that he's in a top bunk.  Changing those bed sheets sucks.

this is exactly true...some kids just don't develop the bladder control to make it through the night until they're older.  it's not a conscious decision in any way;  they just don't have the ability on a subconscious level to wake up and go to the bathroom before having an 'accident' in the bed.  it may not be fun to deal with, but you just have to stick it out.  if a child doesn't have the ability to make it through the night by the time they're nine or ten years old, then there may be some other physical/emotional problem that the pediatrician can help you figure out.  until then, you just have to understand it's very rarely something that they're doing intentionally.  some kids just take longer than others, and you can't force them before their time.
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« Reply #37 on: May 16, 2008, 07:25:12 PM »

I saw this nice little article over at CNN on some parenting tips for addressing kids' bad habits:

4 bad-habit makeovers for your little ones

Quote
I assumed she would outgrow these habits. But she didn't. She just got heavier, something I felt acutely when I was nine months pregnant with her baby sister.

This couldn't go on. But was it too late to change the bad habits -- mine, as well as hers?

No! Kids are flexible, and if we go about changing their ways correctly, they learn and adjust quickly.

Seemed like some solid stuff there.
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« Reply #38 on: May 16, 2008, 08:51:09 PM »

Neither my nephew, son or daughter used a pacifier. My better half is an early childhood educator so none of my kids were really given a chance to get comfortable with them. My guess is that cold turkey is the way to go.
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rickfc
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« Reply #39 on: May 16, 2008, 08:56:05 PM »

I talked to my wife, and even though she only got a total of about 8 hours, she's refusing to take a nap without her pacifier.  I wonder how tonight will turn out...?
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