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Author Topic: Non-gamers don't get gamers.  (Read 6347 times)
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Mr. Fed
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« on: October 11, 2004, 10:23:08 PM »

See, my wife just doesn't understand me.

No, I'm not trying to pick you up.  I'm trying to explain why I don't like to play most games in front of her.

Games require suspension of disbelief.  They require acceptance of the bizarre, the illogical, even the embarrassing.

My wife can strip all that away with one raised eyebrow and one innocent-sounding question.  I go from happy gamer to self-conscious adult.  I think this is some sort of revenge or something.

Case in point - a while ago I was playing this new MMORPG "Saga of Ryzom" that I have blogged about.  I have a fairly young character and am doing young character things - worse, MMORPG things.  Things that you can't really explain to a non-gamer without realizing that you sound like my three-year-old explaining why the toy dinosaurs are attacking the Thomas the Tank Engine train track (Answer:  "Because they eat trees an the trains are made of trees an . . . an … an this train carries trees, and Thomas says 'no no don't eat me!'")

So I'm trying to get some magic and fighting experience and killing things on the outskirts of the newbie village.  I'm fighting Yubos, which resemble irritated furry zebra-striped pigs.

Katrina:  What are you doing?
Me:  Playing my game.
Katrina:  I can see that.  What's that you are killing?
Me:  Uh, Yubos.
Katrina:  Yugos?
Me:  YuBOS.
Katrina:  They look like pigs!  Why are you killing pigs?
Me:  I'm building experience to become more powerful.
Katrina: By killing pigs?
Me:  YUBOS.
Katrina:  Whatever.  Is that your house?
Me:  No, that's the starting village.
Katrina:  Are the pigs attacking the village?
Me:  Ah, no.  Not really.  They just … hang out near the village.
Katrina:  What happens when you kill all the pigs?
Me:  They keep respawning.  They never go completely away.
Katrina:  They have babies?
Me:  No.  No, they just … um, more just appear.
Katrina:  Pigs appear out of thin air?
Me:  YUBOS.  Yes, basically.
Katrina:  Hmmm.

A silence for a while.

Katrina:  So, are you a wizard or something?
Me:  Well, my guy has magic and fighting skills.
Katrina:  Like that guy Gandalf?
Me:  Uh, sure.
Katrina:  Is that a spell you are casting?
Me:  Yes, an acid spell.
Katrina: How come you have to cast it so many times to kill that pig.
Me:  Well, I'm pretty inexperienced.
Katrina:  But it's a PIG.  You're supposed to be a wizard.  What kind of wizard can't easily kill a pig?
Me:  Um ….
Katrina:   Is it a particularly POWERFUL pig?
Me:  Sigh.

Later, I'm fighting hand to hand and trying to get my magic skill up by self-healing.  Because the pigs don't hit too hard, thus lowering the chance of getting wounded and thus of getting experience for healing myself, I've removed my armor.

Katrina:  Why are you NAKED?
Me:  Uh, he's not really naked.
Katrina:  No, he's got that cute little thong.  Did you pick out that thong for him?
Me:  No.  It's standard.
Katrina:  So you can't make him completely naked?
Me:  NO.
Katrina:  But why are you hitting pigs naked?  Won't they bite you?
Me:  To make it easier to get wounded so I can heal myself and get experience.
Katrina:  You WANT to get wounded?
Me:  Well, yes.
Katrina:  Can't you just ask somebody to hit you?
Me:  NO.

Later, I'm trying to harvest resources.

Katrina:  What are you doing?
Me:  I'm searching for resources.
Katrina:  What do you use resources for?
Me:  To craft stuff.
Katrina:  Crafts?  Like arts and crafts?
Me:  Uh, well, I can make armor and weapons and stuff.
Katrina:  What can you make.
Me:  Um … right now?  Only boots.
Katrina:  You can only make boots?
Me:  Yup.
Katrina:  Hey!  Look!  It worked!  You found something!  What is it?
Me:  Uh - it's bark.
Katrina:  Bark?
Me:  Yes.
Katrina:  Why are you digging bark out of the ground with a pickaxe?
Me:  Well, that's just how its done.
Katrina:  Have you found anything else?
Me:  Uh, shells.
Katrina:  Shells?
Me:  Yes.
Katrina:  This game is about collecting seashells?
Me:  That's just a little part of it.
Katrina:  Do you make boots out of these shells?
Me:  No.  I haven't found anything I can make boots out of yet.
Katrina:  Oh.  [Long silence]  
Me:  I'm going to go lie down now.
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Exodor
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« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2004, 10:30:27 PM »

I got a similar reaction yesterday when I was playing Civ3.

I was in the midst of crushing the villainous Zulus with my mighty Sioux army while my wife watched TV (a movie on "Lifetime", if you must know).  During a commercial, she turned and started asking about my game.

Her:  What are you playing?
Me:  It's called Civilization.
Her:  What are you doing?
Me:  Well, right now I'm using workers to irrigate the land around my cities - it makes them grow faster.

Her:  bewildered silence

I swear she thought I was playing a farming simulator.  It's probably for the best that I didn't try to explain why it was imperative that I crush the Zulus, nor why I was so anxious to crush the double-crossing Germans who had just declared war on me.

Because, from where she was sitting, I was spending three hours moving little colored icons around a map.  And that doesn't sound nearly as fun, does it?
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Lee
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« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2004, 10:33:04 PM »

Damn, I missed your posts Mr. Fed. smile
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Roguetad
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« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2004, 10:44:51 PM »

Thank you Mr. Fed for making me laugh after a long drive home.  I loved this part:

"This game is about collecting seashells?
Me: That's just a little part of it.
Katrina: Do you make boots out of these shells?"

I don't even try to explain what I'm doing in games anymore to my wife, since I always feel like such an idiot when I do.  Even worse is when my wife shows signs of slight jealousy because she has seen me group with the same female avatar while playing [insert any mmorpg] for a couple of nights in a row.  Of course I reassure her that the female avatar is really a guy, but she never seems completely convinced.  

And since I'm the only gamer in my immediate and extended families (that fact alone boggles my mind), I'm utterly embarrassed when they start asking me to talk about the latest games I'm playing in an attempt to be conversational with me.  

"Well let's see, I finished this game called Fable where I played as a good guy, he saved the world, had some cool tattoos, he was known as Chicken Chaser for while, he had a halo with butterflies, oh and he had 4 wives...at the same time."
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rrmorton
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« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2004, 10:47:01 PM »

biggrin

Yeah, I pretty much gave up trying to get Gwen interested in any game of mine a long time ago. Her interest in gaming is limited to the occasional Popcap puzzle game. Her single greatest gaming accomplishment was beating Parappa the Rapper.

Lately she's been driving me nuts by asking dozens of way-too-literal questions while I'm playing the Sims 2. She doesn't seem to understand that concepts such as time and age need to be streamlined for the sake of gameplay. "She just had a baby two days ago and she's pregnant again?! If it's called the Sims and it's supposed to SIMulate real life, I don't think it's doing a very good job."

Fortunately Amelia will soon be old enough to hold a gamepad. She loves the Pikmin poster at Gamestop. She squeals and smacks each different colored Pikmin with the palm of her hand. They probably remind her of Teletubbies.

P.S. Agreement with Lee.
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Smoove_B
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« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2004, 10:49:22 PM »

It's not that non-gamers don't understand us.

It's that we're all crazy.

Seriously. Just read that dialog. It's the ramblings of a madman - and we all do it.   smile
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SuperHiro
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« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2004, 10:51:39 PM »

The wife will probably go to great lengths to stamp out any gaming influence on our daughter.

Too bad she has no control over the bedtime stories.

"Tonight's story is about Manny, who worked in the underworld as a..."
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« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2004, 10:57:30 PM »

Quote from: "Smoove_B"
It's not that non-gamers don't understand us.

It's that we're all crazy.

Seriously. Just read that dialog. It's the ramblings of a madman - and we all do it.   smile


Yep; we're nuts.

Mitma particularly likes Kohan, aka 'ching ching ching ching FOR THE GLORY OF THE CREATOR ching ching ching BOOM ching ching ching ching', and UT2004--'so you jump through the hoop to score a goal, and then you die?  That's stupid.'
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happydog
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« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2004, 11:05:53 PM »

Ah... I feel so lucky. Although my wife might question if I played more RPG type games, she easily understands most games I play. Plus, she enjoys playing Age of Mythology and Battlefront and she can't wait for Halo2.

Also, you are a crazy man, it isn't your wife.  Tongue
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« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2004, 11:11:39 PM »

I think this phenomenon in part illustrates a difference in mediums.  Whereas it is possible to have a rational, intelligent discussion about games on this forum, it seems almost impossible to have an actual verbal conversation about games without sounding like a huge geekosaurus.  Once you start talking about games out loud, even with other gamers, it's hard not to sound like some 12 year-old kid hanging out at the mall EB.
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« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2004, 11:12:43 PM »

I think your wife and I are in agreement when it comes to MMORPGs.  Giant pigs, giant rats, it's all the same.
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« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2004, 11:16:01 PM »

Quote from: "Mr. Fed"

Me:  I'm building experience to become more powerful.
Katrina: How come you have to cast it so many times to kill that pig.
Me:  Well, I'm pretty inexperienced.
Me:  Uh, he's not really naked.
Me:  Um … right now?  Only boots.
Katrina:  You can only make boots?
Me:  Yup.

Hmmm.....

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dbt1949
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« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2004, 11:18:36 PM »

=+
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« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2004, 11:48:00 PM »

My wife is definitely fantasy crusher when it comes to my games. However, she at least pretended to understand why I was bumbed out about GG being gone. I give her credit for that even though she takes an equally dim view of internet "friends."
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Biyobi
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« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2004, 11:49:05 PM »

My ex was completely baffled by the fact that I could be entertained playing games on the PC for hours on end, yet sit in front of the TV for the same period of time and think it's normal.
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Charlatan
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« Reply #15 on: October 12, 2004, 12:21:37 AM »

My wife is pretty tolerant, but I think I detected an envy towards my time in DAoC when she started calling it "that damn game" - actually, that's now her generic name for what I do on the computer... MOST of the time said matter of factly but once in a while with lots of emotion (and that's when  I duck!).
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« Reply #16 on: October 12, 2004, 02:04:41 PM »

I'm fairly lucky in that my wife plays a small section of games.  She hates RPG games (my favorites) and adventure/story games but loves and plays games like Might and Magic, Diablo, Sacred, Age of Empires and a lot of various console games.
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Grievous Angel
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« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2004, 02:20:58 PM »

While my wife largely tolerates my gaming, she has the unfortunate knack of walking into the room whenever a strange quote is uttered (think Minsc in Baldur's Gate) or when a female is prominently displayed on the screen. And of course, PC females all have the proportions of Playboy models, so her first comment is usually "Oh my God! Look at her boobs!" Then she walks out of the room again, shaking her head.
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« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2004, 02:28:24 PM »

My wife is kind enough to recognize that gaming can be a huge stress reliever (or causer, depending on the game) and is really cool about it. It's good then that the month we started dating was the month Morrowind, Jedi Knight II, and Freedom Force and Dungeon Siege all hit so I was up front right from the beginning: We'll ease into this, but I won't be available all that frequently because this is one of those wacky times when a lot of stuff hits simultaneously. She's aware of the next three months, but I haven't told her the exact list of what all is coming down the pipe. smile

She mainly enjoys the puzzle games I'll play on ocassion, and she really enjoys helping out on those. She'll smile and giggle and laugh whenever she succeeds, then I'll snicker because I consider it beneath me. Then after she's asleep I'll go back and try it myself and get my butt handed to me by a STUPID SIMPLE PUZZLE AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

/explodes
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« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2004, 04:06:56 PM »

Last night I was playing Civ3 R&R, as I do most nights. Around 11 PM the Bride of Ironrod asked me if I was coming to bed soon. "I really wanted to," I sighed, "But the damned Malinese just attacked me."
-"What does that mean?"
-"It means I have to defend Iron City, then I'm going after their coal."
-"What country are you?"
-"Uh, let's see...I guess I'm the Vikings."
-"Where's Iron City? In Denmark?"
-"No, it's just a name I made up. This city has the iron."
-"Oh." (pause) "Are any cities named after me?"
(Ironrod renames a city. The Bride approves.)
-"Horse Hill must have horses, huh?"
-"Yup. Weren't you going to bed?"
-"When are you coming?"
-"I told you, I have to kill the Malinese."
-"They can't wait until tomorrow?"

See, non-gamers don't understand that of COURSE they can't wait until tomorrow. How can I sleep when the Malinese cavalry is outside Iron City?

I play while Winamp is streaming ambient music. The game's sound fx overlay the music. The Bride is greatly amused by the sound of combat punctuating ambient techno music.

She sometimes asks me if I'm ever going to play that game with the cheesy music again. She means X-com. She thought the dramatic music that plays during interception was hilarious.
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« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2004, 04:28:21 PM »

Mrs. Warning used to resent the time I spent playing Diablo and Diablo II.  She took to calling it "that bitch Diablo".  I didn't have the heart to explain that Diablo wasn't a "she", it was really a demon you see...
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Easily Satisfied
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« Reply #21 on: October 12, 2004, 04:49:03 PM »

I have been known on occassion to call a certain game "crack". My brother in law got my husband back into it, therefore he is the "crack dealer" and when I answer the phone I make sure he knows his name  :lol:

I like to think I am pretty tolerant. I know alot of the sounds/etc from various games. In fact, as a wedding present I bought my husband Morrowind. (In hindsight I should have given it to him AFTER the honeymoon. Learned that lesson!  :wink: )
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Eightball
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« Reply #22 on: October 12, 2004, 05:03:52 PM »

I've given up on my wife ever understanding my hobby.  She thinks I'm wasting time.

Wait...I guess I am  :wink:

Quote from: "Freezer-TPF-"
huge geekosaurus.


Raawwwwrrr!!!
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« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2004, 05:37:20 PM »

Once, while my wife and I were dating, I managed to get as far as getting her to play Diablo co-op with me. Unfortunately I only had one disk, so she had to play a spawned copy, which meant she and I were both fighters.

So first thing she does when we're in town is go up to the barmaid.

Guin :  Hey baby, can I have a drink?
Me    : Um, what are you doing?
Guin : Isn't this what you guys do? Look at her boobs!
Me    : Um, let's just go to the dungeon and fight some monsters
Guin  : Okay!

(sometime later, in the dungeon)

*Guin stands outside a door while monters are hitting her*

Me   : Honey, move away from the door so I can fight some.
Guin : Okay (still stands there)
Me   : Honey, you have to move away from the door. I can't fight them while you're blocking.
Guin : Oh, THAT'S ME! Sorry.

*Still later, while fighting*

Guin: Did you just hit me with an arrow?
Me   : Sorry, you stepped in front of the monster!
Guin : Did you just hit me again?
Me   : Sorry.
*Guin picks up all the loot*
Me  : Hey wait, what about me?
Guin : What about you?! You shot me!

And that was the closest I came to getting her to play with me smile.
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« Reply #24 on: October 12, 2004, 06:11:36 PM »

My wife is totally happy with my gaming addiction. The only time it was ever an issue was when I was playing Morrowwind and my 3 year old son was watching me. He went "bang bang bang, shoot them. bang bang bang." Sooo I had to curb my FPS playing during my son's waking hours.
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Roguetad
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« Reply #25 on: October 12, 2004, 06:15:45 PM »

When my wife is in a particularly surly mood she will walk into the computer room, sit behind me, and become my very own peanut gallery.  Normally I break after about 5 minutes and head downstairs to watch tv with her.      

We’ve played and completed a few co-op xbox titles together: BG:DA1&2, Hunter: The Redeemer, and Halo.  She’s surprisingly decent with the isometric or top down action-rpgs, but she’s just awful with shooters.  To her defense, I hate playing fps shooters on the xbox, so I understand how tough the controls can be.  Our Halo sessions normally involved me running around trying to shoot things while she inadvertently unloaded her ammo at the ceiling and floor.  She loved it though, so I just pretended not to notice her targeting reticule pointing at everything but the bad guys and just kept praising her for doing a good job.
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« Reply #26 on: October 12, 2004, 06:51:07 PM »

Last week I bought Katamari Damacy.  My wife walked in while I was playing it and gave it the coveted "What the HELL are you playing?" award.  It's guaranteed to be a classic now.
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« Reply #27 on: October 12, 2004, 06:58:47 PM »

When I got married (2nd anniversary tomorrow), my wife wasn't big into playing computer games either but since I showed her pogo.com I think she actually plays more than I do now.

We picked up an xbox last year and she is starting to realize the fun that can be had playing with guests that visit (we don't have xbox live).  I got her (read: me) Burnout 3 and we've been playing that.  I have to look for some more multiplayer games on the xbox.
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Jag
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« Reply #28 on: October 12, 2004, 09:33:44 PM »

I actually try not to play the more bizarre games in front of her. Since our second baby was born 8mos ago, we've moved my 'office' into our massive bedroom, so its very hard to hide my gaming (when i actually should be doing other things).  She's a big Star Trek and Sci Fi fan, but i haven't been able to get her to even look at a game.

We've been together 13 years+2 kids, but we've never once discussed my gaming hobby/obsession. Is that weird??
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« Reply #29 on: October 12, 2004, 09:38:32 PM »

Excellent thread!

I was going to make a copy of it for my wife, but after 25 years *I* still get the raised eyebrow as well  :wink:

Of course I'd rather get the innocence question rather than the cutting remark  frown
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Roguetad
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« Reply #30 on: October 12, 2004, 09:59:34 PM »

The worst is when publishers put an insanely curvaceous and busty character on the front, back, and sides of a game box, which makes walking up to pay for it at the store and eventually taking it into your house (assuming you don't smuggle some games in like I do) very embarrassing as a 30-something gamer. "Honey, I didn't buy the game for the babe on the box, it's actually a really good game."

Thank goodness for the smaller boxes, they make smuggling games into my house so much easier than the old stuff-the-cds-into-my-pants and carry the giant game box in later when the coast is clear method.
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« Reply #31 on: October 12, 2004, 10:01:19 PM »

Quote from: "Roguetad"
Thank goodness for the smaller boxes, they make smuggling games into my house so much easier than the old stuff-the-cds-into-my-pants and carry the giant game box in later when the coast is clear method.

I used to be a member of that fraternity!! :lol:
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« Reply #32 on: October 12, 2004, 10:10:07 PM »

Quote
The worst is when publishers put an insanely curvaceous and busty character on the front, back, and sides of a game box, which makes walking up to pay for it at the store and eventually taking it into your house (assuming you don't smuggle some games in like I do) very embarrassing as a 30-something gamer. "Honey, I didn't buy the game for the babe on the box, it's actually a really good game."


Yep, I hate that.  My wife and I actually argued about this when we were newlyweds.  She thought I was buying it specifically because of the scantily clad digital divas.  It took much explaining and several years of being together for her to see otherwise.
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« Reply #33 on: October 12, 2004, 10:56:50 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by Biyobi:
My ex was completely baffled by the fact that I could be entertained playing games on the PC for hours on end, yet sit in front of the TV for the same period of time and think it's normal.


My fiance HATES the computer but can waste an entire Saturday watching Lifetime movies. WTF? I don't get the difference. I keep telling her at least the computer is interactive. /shrug

I have been warning her that when WoW or EQ2 comes out I will probably be logging a lot of time. At least at first. She's none too happy about it. I am trying to convince her to play but it doesn't look good for me.
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« Reply #34 on: October 12, 2004, 11:24:14 PM »

Man, one of the Carrie and I get along is because she's pretty much a gamer...

A couple weeks ago when I snagged her a cube and GBA sp she was almost in tears with joy...

I knew she was going to be a lot of fun to date when we first met, we were talking about studying and she told me about how she played Diddy Kong racing all night long instead. It was one of the many moments that I realized how perfectly we complimented each other.

On top of that, depending on which game I am playing, she's perfectly happy watching me play. She likes that I play recklessly at times, but she won't watch sports games and there are a few that she despises.

Otherwise, she's a gamer like me, but we both would quickly drop gaming for anything else as long as we got to do it together. Yes, we have that corny kind of love smile That's why we're getting married, she rocks my box and then refills it every day  Cool
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« Reply #35 on: October 12, 2004, 11:27:05 PM »

My wife loves MMORPGs, and even plays homm3, age of wonders and Kohan 2.  heh...

Marry a gamer, problem solved.  Some of us have priorities when we choose a wife.  slywink
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« Reply #36 on: October 12, 2004, 11:34:14 PM »

A Mr. Fed thread! I sure have missed your posts - please stick around and dispense your incredible wisdom to us lower life forms  smile

My wife tolerates my gaming hobby. I think she is slightly jealous because she says she doesn't have any hobbies nor has time for any. If she'd quit watching 2-3 hours of TV every evening she'd have plenty of time for a hobby or two but for some reason she just likes to veg in front of the TV and watch whatever she can find to watch. I hate that type of TV viewing, and would rather only have it on when programs I'm interested in are on. The rest of the time I'd much rather be doing something I enjoy (like gaming).
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« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2006, 08:53:08 PM »

I am resurrecting this thread for one simple reason.

Fed's initial post made me laugh and I thought some of you newer members might enjoy it also.

You don't need to have played Saga of Ryzom to appreciate it either... especially if you have a somewhat inquisitive wife or gf.

Enjoy.

« Last Edit: November 10, 2006, 11:11:16 PM by Lockdown » Logged

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« Reply #38 on: November 10, 2006, 09:14:53 PM »

Quote from: Lockdown on November 10, 2006, 08:53:08 PM

I am resurrecting this thread for one simple reason.

Fed's initial post made me laugh and I thought some of you newer members might enjoy it also.

You don't need to have played Saga of Ryzom to appreciate it either... especially if you have a somewhat inquisitive wife or gf.

Enjoy.



Thanks Lockdown, I needed a good laugh.  Let's drag Mr. Fed back in this thread for another adventure. slywink
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« Reply #39 on: November 10, 2006, 09:20:01 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Fed on October 11, 2004, 10:23:08 PM

See, my wife just doesn't understand me.

Get her a Tivo, you'll never see her again - and it sounds like that would be a good thing.  I see my wife 2-3 times a week now, and usually she passes by mumbling something like "My Tivo backlog is growing huge", then I hear Dancing with the Stars fire up in the media room.

Tivo keeps the wife at bay so I can enjoy gaming in peace.  thumbsup
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