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Author Topic: New Indiana Jones movie and children - help needed  (Read 1935 times)
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Moat_Man
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« on: May 25, 2008, 06:40:12 PM »

Background: My 6-year old son has a friend in kindergarten who's birthday is coming up. This friend's parents alternate every year between big birthday parties and small ones and this year is a small one so only my son has been invited. My wife mentioned yesterday that for the birthday the family plus my son were going to see the new Indiana Jones movie this coming weekend.

My beef is that the Indy movie is rated PG-13, not just PG, and that there is significant violence and some creepy scenes typical of the genre. Now don't get me wrong, I love the series and am a pretty typical guy. I like SCI-FI, action movies, etc, and plan to see the Indy movie with my wife but we weren't going to take our kids (we also have a 7-year old girl).

We try to avoid having our kids see any CSI-type show with mature themes but I'm realistic and know that you can't shield them forever. We talk all the time about violence on TV, advertising, etc. I try and educate them as much as I can based on their maturity level. I know they see lots of that type of thing and the news is pretty violent to begin with. However, my feeling is that this is a bit over the top for a 6-year old.

Question: Am I overreacting? If not, how do I delicately tell the parents that this movie isn't for little children and that maybe they should consider another movie?
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Sarkus
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« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2008, 07:12:47 PM »

I guess I'd be concerned with some of the scarier moments.  It comes down to how comfortable you are with how the other family might deal with that if your son gets upset and how your son will feel under those circumstances with them and not you.

Would you want your son to see the ending sequence in the first movie?  If not, I'd say pass on this or at least see it with him.

As far as dealing with the other parents, I'd just tell them that your son hasn't seen a lot of these kinds of movies and you are concerned at how he might react.  Do your best to present it in such a way that it doesn't sound like you are being judgemental about how they've raised their own kid.


« Last Edit: May 25, 2008, 07:16:24 PM by Sarkus » Logged

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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2008, 07:29:41 PM »

It's easily the most non-violent of the series, if that helps.  Personally, I saw the first movie when I was 6 so I would have no issues showing my kids the movies when they're that age but obviously depends on the kid. 
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Arowyn
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« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2008, 07:52:08 PM »

How would you feel about renting one or more of the series and watching together with your son this week before the party next weekend?  I wouldn't have had a problem with my son watching any of the previous ones at that age provided I was with him to gauge his reaction to anything scary or to field questions.  If he handles it fine, then I don't think you'd have a problem. 

Are you or your wife friendly with the parents?  I would think just a straightforward "Have you considered that this movie might be a little violent for this age?" would not be inappropriate.  You are, after all, entrusting your child to them for several hours. 
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Moat_Man
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« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2008, 08:16:25 PM »

Quote from: Sarkus on May 25, 2008, 07:12:47 PM

Would you want your son to see the ending sequence in the first movie?  If not, I'd say pass on this or at least see it with him.

The answer to that is no. In my estimation there is a good chance he would be considerably frightened by that scene and end up having nightmares.

Quote from: Kevin Grey on May 25, 2008, 07:29:41 PM

It's easily the most non-violent of the series, if that helps.  Personally, I saw the first movie when I was 6 so I would have no issues showing my kids the movies when they're that age but obviously depends on the kid. 

I was 10 when Raiders came out and was scared by the face melting scene. I loved the rest of the movie but that scene stuck with me for a while. My son is a lot like me and at 6 I am fairly certain it would frighten him too much.

Quote from: Arowyn on May 25, 2008, 07:52:08 PM

How would you feel about renting one or more of the series and watching together with your son this week before the party next weekend?  I wouldn't have had a problem with my son watching any of the previous ones at that age provided I was with him to gauge his reaction to anything scary or to field questions.  If he handles it fine, then I don't think you'd have a problem. 

I don't think Raiders is appropriate for my son so we won't be viewing it. Maybe in two or three years but he is only 6 (one month into being 6 to be exact) and still has a lot of "little kid" in him. I'd have no problem with my 7 year old daughter seeing it but she is more mature and would be able to handle seeing that sort of thing.

Quote from: Arowyn on May 25, 2008, 07:52:08 PM

Are you or your wife friendly with the parents?  I would think just a straightforward "Have you considered that this movie might be a little violent for this age?" would not be inappropriate.  You are, after all, entrusting your child to them for several hours. 

We are friendly and their 7 year old daughter is best friends with my daughter. We see them all the time at school and church functions (Catholic community stuff, pretty standard, nobody is ultra-hard core). I will add some further details about our relationship later but I wanted to get a response with the just the basic info I provided before revealing some further details.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2008, 08:18:44 PM by Moat_Man » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2008, 08:32:02 PM »

Indy 4 does have some graphic violence, well not quite gory, but it'll give them nightmares if not phobia.

PG-13 is definitely it's rating, it won't harm a 13 year old, but anyone under that age... well it's up to you.

Specifically (spoilers)

Spoiler for Hiden:
People being shot.

Burnt alive.

Graphic mummies.

Graphically eaten alive by giant ants.

I wouldn't take anyone under 10 to see the movie because despite most of the movie being somewhat tame, it does have a few key moments that'll really scare the heck out of a kid.
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« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2008, 09:24:14 PM »

Yeah, I would say the
Spoiler for Hiden:
giant ants going in the guy's mouth and eating him alive
might be enough to cause some phobias/nightmares. 
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DarkEL
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« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2008, 09:33:10 PM »

I took my 6 year old daughter and she absolutely loved it.

I showed her the previous three films a few weeks ago and she loved them all. The only scene i made her close her eyes for was the face-melting scene at the end of the first one. 

No nightmares / no phobias.

In fact the only impact so far is that she's been humming the indy theme song a bit while we're driving.
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Moat_Man
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« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2008, 11:17:24 PM »

Quote from: DarkEL on May 25, 2008, 09:33:10 PM

I took my 6 year old daughter and she absolutely loved it.

I showed her the previous three films a few weeks ago and she loved them all. The only scene i made her close her eyes for was the face-melting scene at the end of the first one. 

Two comments about this, first, I won't be there to ask my son to turn away at the scary parts. We do this when watching marginal shows on TV at home so I know what you mean. Second, even if I was there I haven't seen the movie so I might not know when "scary" parts are coming. For Raiders I certainly would be able to shield my son's eyes during the scary parts because I've seen it many many times.

Would you trust shielding your child's eyes to someone else that might not have the same judgement as you or might not even be sitting next to your child? That's a real question, it's not rhetorical.
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« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2008, 11:23:06 PM »

I use Common Sense Media a lot when it comes to movies as it spells possibly objectionable things out pretty specifically.

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/Indiana-Jones-Kingdom-Crystal.html

I like it because it's religiously neutral, gives me as a parent the information and lets me make the decision.
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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2008, 11:25:53 PM »

There is nothing even close to the goriness of the face melting and heart ripping of the first two.  From what I've heard the new PG-rated Narnia movie is more violent than KotCS.

Personally I don't see what's wrong with kids seeing scary things as long as it's relatively non-realistic.  I liked being scared when I was a kid.  I guess I'm a product of the time I grew up (I was 9 when the PG-13 was created) so I grew up seeing movies like Raiders, ToD, Poltergeist, Jaws and other PG rated movies that would probably be rated PG-13 or worse these days.
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Sarkus
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« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2008, 11:37:25 PM »

Philosophical questions aside, I think it's pretty clear that Moat_Man's kid isn't used to this kind of film.  If Moat_Man and his wife have decided the earlier Indy films aren't yet appropriate for their 6 year old, then it's probably not a good idea to let him see this one without his parents present.

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Kevin Grey
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« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2008, 11:49:48 PM »

Quote from: Sarkus on May 25, 2008, 11:37:25 PM

Philosophical questions aside, I think it's pretty clear that Moat_Man's kid isn't used to this kind of film.  If Moat_Man and his wife have decided the earlier Indy films aren't yet appropriate for their 6 year old, then it's probably not a good idea to let him see this one without his parents present.

Well, like I said, it's by far the least violent Indy movie yet.  Scenes that would have been shown in the previous movies like:

Spoiler for Hiden:
  The Area 51 guards and the natives protecting the temple being gunned down
  were essentially shown off screen and bloodless. 
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Arnir
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« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2008, 02:21:10 AM »

To the OP: it sounds like you have a good rapport with these parents so I would feel free to just say that my kid can't handle that movie so he can't go to the movie.  That will either have the other parents rethink it or at least not mind your child not going to the film.
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2008, 02:36:10 AM »

Here's a better answer - skip this fucking horrible excuse for a film and go see Kung Fu Panda next week or Wall-E at the end of May.
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« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2008, 03:08:58 AM »

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 02:36:10 AM

Here's a better answer - skip this fucking horrible excuse for a film and go see Kung Fu Panda next week or Wall-E at the end of May.

Sorry 6 year old kid, you have to wait until the end of June for your birthday party because I don't think Indiana Jones will be good enough for my son?
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Drazzil
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« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2008, 03:10:36 AM »

I dont know about you folks but some parts of the Indy and the Temple of Doom movie scared a nine or ten year old me shitless.
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #17 on: May 26, 2008, 03:17:51 AM »

Quote from: wonderpug on May 26, 2008, 03:08:58 AM

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 02:36:10 AM

Here's a better answer - skip this fucking horrible excuse for a film and go see Kung Fu Panda next week or Wall-E at the end of May.

Sorry 6 year old kid, you have to wait until the end of June for your birthday party because I don't think Indiana Jones will be good enough for my son?

In this case, it's being merciful in not taking him. He has zero attachment to the character, who is completely wasted in this sorry excuse for a film. Wait another few years until he's older then show him a real movie with "Raiders of the Lost Ark." He'll thank you in the long run.
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Moat_Man
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« Reply #18 on: May 26, 2008, 05:34:28 AM »

Quote from: warning on May 25, 2008, 11:23:06 PM

I use Common Sense Media a lot when it comes to movies as it spells possibly objectionable things out pretty specifically.

That's a cool site for parents. BTW, it says 11+ for age for this Indy.

Quote from: Kevin Grey on May 25, 2008, 11:25:53 PM

Personally I don't see what's wrong with kids seeing scary things as long as it's relatively non-realistic.  I liked being scared when I was a kid.  I guess I'm a product of the time I grew up (I was 9 when the PG-13 was created) so I grew up seeing movies like Raiders, ToD, Poltergeist, Jaws and other PG rated movies that would probably be rated PG-13 or worse these days.

Personally I am not a fan of the slasher/horror genre or movies that crank up the suspense and then have something jump out and scare you. I can tell my son is cut from same cloth but he is also 6 for crying out loud. As any parent will tell you there is big difference between 6 and 5 or 7 or 9. Everyone progresses through the maturation process at their own rate so some kids will be more advanced that others but I think I have a good handle on my son's development and I judge that he could be very scared by some of the spoiler scenes that people have mentioned.

Quote from: Sarkus on May 25, 2008, 11:37:25 PM

Philosophical questions aside, I think it's pretty clear that Moat_Man's kid isn't used to this kind of film.  If Moat_Man and his wife have decided the earlier Indy films aren't yet appropriate for their 6 year old, then it's probably not a good idea to let him see this one without his parents present.

That is pretty much where I am at. I've spoken with several people today who've seen the movie and the general consensus is, "Hmmm, 6 is pretty young for that movie, he will probably be quite scared at parts".

Quote from: Arnir on May 26, 2008, 02:21:10 AM

To the OP: it sounds like you have a good rapport with these parents so I would feel free to just say that my kid can't handle that movie so he can't go to the movie.  That will either have the other parents rethink it or at least not mind your child not going to the film.

We do have a good rapport but here is the rub. Their son is obviously ADHD and has some developmental problems. He is a holy terror in kindergarten and pretty much has to have one-on-one supervision to be controllable. He is unpredictable and will occasionally hurt other kids without realizing it (pushing, shoving, being overly physical, etc). His parents have refused to have the kid tested and are kind of sticking their heads in the sand about him. I don't blame the child as he doesn't know any better but the parents do not discipline him and aren't taking appropriate corrective action. They are relying on the school and community to deal with it. It is going to be a real problem next year in grade 1.

Far be it from me to tell other people what to do but goodness sakes, that kid should not be seeing the movie either. I'm sure on Monday after the movie he will be bull-whipping other kids or jumping on them like Indy does. Argh.

Anyway, separate from that stuff above, I have to do what's best for my kid and he just isn't emotionally ready for this kind of movie. I will let them know on Monday keep you posted on the results.
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« Reply #19 on: May 26, 2008, 05:37:04 AM »

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 03:17:51 AM

Quote from: wonderpug on May 26, 2008, 03:08:58 AM

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 02:36:10 AM

Here's a better answer - skip this fucking horrible excuse for a film and go see Kung Fu Panda next week or Wall-E at the end of May.

Sorry 6 year old kid, you have to wait until the end of June for your birthday party because I don't think Indiana Jones will be good enough for my son?

In this case, it's being merciful in not taking him. He has zero attachment to the character, who is completely wasted in this sorry excuse for a film. Wait another few years until he's older then show him a real movie with "Raiders of the Lost Ark." He'll thank you in the long run.

I was just commenting on your suggestion to delay the son's friend's birthday party for Wall-E.  I think Wall-E would be infinitely better for Moat's son as well as for the birthday kid, but kids generally don't like waiting 3-4 weeks for their celebrations. smile
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« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2008, 03:09:03 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on May 26, 2008, 05:37:04 AM

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 03:17:51 AM

Quote from: wonderpug on May 26, 2008, 03:08:58 AM

Quote from: whiteboyskim on May 26, 2008, 02:36:10 AM

Here's a better answer - skip this fucking horrible excuse for a film and go see Kung Fu Panda next week or Wall-E at the end of May.

Sorry 6 year old kid, you have to wait until the end of June for your birthday party because I don't think Indiana Jones will be good enough for my son?

In this case, it's being merciful in not taking him. He has zero attachment to the character, who is completely wasted in this sorry excuse for a film. Wait another few years until he's older then show him a real movie with "Raiders of the Lost Ark." He'll thank you in the long run.

I was just commenting on your suggestion to delay the son's friend's birthday party for Wall-E.  I think Wall-E would be infinitely better for Moat's son as well as for the birthday kid, but kids generally don't like waiting 3-4 weeks for their celebrations. smile

True. Which is why Kung-Fu Panda is available I think next week. Just a thought on my part. smile
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« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2008, 04:22:33 PM »

You have to do what's best for your son.  There's no way I'd allow my 6 year old to see a movie rated anything other than G, and even then probably not without me present (unless I'd seen the movie and it's on the approved list).  It might be an awkward conversation with your friends but hopefully they'll understand that you're just trying to be a good parent, and maybe, with luck, they'll decide to do something more age appropriate for their own son as well.
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« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2008, 04:48:12 PM »

Quote from: Moat_Man on May 25, 2008, 11:17:24 PM

Two comments about this, first, I won't be there to ask my son to turn away at the scary parts. We do this when watching marginal shows on TV at home so I know what you mean. Second, even if I was there I haven't seen the movie so I might not know when "scary" parts are coming. For Raiders I certainly would be able to shield my son's eyes during the scary parts because I've seen it many many times.

Would you trust shielding your child's eyes to someone else that might not have the same judgement as you or might not even be sitting next to your child? That's a real question, it's not rhetorical.

Good questions.

Typically if there's a movie that she wants to see that I'm not sure about, I'll go see it by myself first to make a decision about whether it would be okay for her.

And not I wouldn't trust my child's eyes to someone else. If it was me in that situation - I'd go see the movie myself before the party (I typically go to the late late show as it's cheaper, less crowded and I don't feel so odd going to a movie by myself there) and if there were scenes in the movie that i didn't want my daughter to see - I'd go with her to the party (nothing wrong with a parent joining their child at a party) and sit behind her and cover her eyes during the scenes in question (having explained to her previously that i was going to do that and even telling her what the scene contained)
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Moat_Man
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« Reply #23 on: May 29, 2008, 04:52:49 AM »

We missed seeing the parents the last few days at school but my wife finally caught up with the mother today and let her know we thought the movie might be too scary for our son. The mother said one of her nephews had seen it so she thought it was ok. My wife explained that it was not PG, it was PG-13 and that it had some scenes that might give our son nightmares. The mother said she didn't realize it was PG-13. My wife offered to pick up our son after the dinner portion of the birthday and they said that was fine.

All in all well handled and no hard feelings. They can do what they want but mark my words, the cumulative effect of seemingly harmless (but in reality bad) parenting choices will have a demonstrable effect on their children.
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« Reply #24 on: May 29, 2008, 06:14:57 AM »

First, I'm not criticizing your decision (see my post earlier).  You have the right, responsibility, and knowledge to make the decison in the situation you outlined.  You know your son far better than anyone else.

That said, kids mature differently.  You yourself said you thought it would be ok for your 7 year old daughter to see the film.  So, don't be too judgemental about what other parents may decide for their own kids.

I managed a GameStop for a while and one thing I learned was that when it comes to their kids, many parents don't like any hint of interference in how they raise their children.  It's one of the fastest ways to an uncomfortable argument.  For every parent who was happy I pointed out that Grand Theft Auto III might be inappropriate for their pre-teen child, there was another who was upset I had "interfered" (I'm not exagerrating about this.)  I even had a woman get upset with me once when I pulled her five year old away from some wires and such behind a system display where he had crawled, even though she was clearly unable to control him given the other three small children (including a baby) she was dealing with. 

So, just be careful.  icon_smile
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« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2008, 02:42:58 PM »

Quote from: Moat_Man on May 29, 2008, 04:52:49 AM

We missed seeing the parents the last few days at school but my wife finally caught up with the mother today and let her know we thought the movie might be too scary for our son. The mother said one of her nephews had seen it so she thought it was ok. My wife explained that it was not PG, it was PG-13 and that it had some scenes that might give our son nightmares. The mother said she didn't realize it was PG-13. My wife offered to pick up our son after the dinner portion of the birthday and they said that was fine.

All in all well handled and no hard feelings. They can do what they want but mark my words, the cumulative effect of seemingly harmless (but in reality bad) parenting choices will have a demonstrable effect on their children.

I probably would have done the same thing. My son is 7 now and probably could handle the first Indy movie, but i'm concerned about that face melting scene. It scared the beejeezus out of me as a kid.
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« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2008, 07:57:29 PM »

My 26-year-old wife closed her eyes when
Spoiler for Hiden:
the guy was eaten alive by ants.
I hardly think a 6-year-old would like that, especially a sensitive one.  In a couple of years, he'll love it, but for now, you made the right choice.
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