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Author Topic: My wife in an unreasonable B!&$#  (Read 2623 times)
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Daehawk
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« on: July 15, 2005, 01:27:19 AM »

We've been together for 18 years. It feels like 60+ most The last few years it seems we've gotten to where the least ting and we're at each other's throats. I guess we are'nt who we were when we met.

For example take tonight. A rainstorm came by and a limb feel and hit a wire across our back yard and knocked it down. This wire leads from the house to the dog kennel so theres power up there. Its fell twice before and Ive fixed it each time. Its not quite on the ground but close enough to where our big outside dog could grab it. Also it hanging from the kennel by the live wires and could cause a fire.

I tell my wife I need to pull the fuse on it so it wont do either of those things. I check all fuses but the one powering her tv,vcr and stuff. None of them are it  I then see theres a pull breaker. I figure that must be it. BAM it is the right one. Unfortunately its on her circuit to.

You shoulda heard her bitching . Oh Ive ruined this Ive ruined that. She called me son of a bitch on down. The other days she hoped Id just die. Fun woman. I plugged it back in and all her stuff came back just fine but it did'nt shut her up. I had to reset her clock...this woman cant do anything but bitch...I ask her for her watch to set it and she wont get it. its my fault so i fix it she says. Hard to do without a watch. I guess at it. Im 5 minutes off on it but she then comes in here to bitch that its wrong when she would get her watch for me to set it right. More names and bitching.

A few minutes ago she opens the door to here while Im typing this and says well you can fix that out there at 10 in the morning. I dont have shows to watch then but if my rooms power has to be off you have to turn this one's off also. WTF. This room has nothing to do with that one cept its my computer room.


Then just now she comes in and wants me to go fix it now..in the dark..without tools. Says she'll hold a light for me. I cant see to find tool at night in an outside garage with no power in it and a tiny flashlight.

So in the end Im having to leave it on all night as a fire hazard and then wake up early and try to fix it so it dont inconcience the bitch.

I walk a fine line with her these days. The least things set her off. 70% of the time life is fine and peaceful and like it used to be sorta but one wrong move and hell rolls in and I just want us to die and be done with life that sucks. Been together too long to change and if we did we'd be lost and unable to start over. Fucked up life.

These days I think of her as mean and crazy...her mother is stupid and mean.
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« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2005, 01:51:58 AM »

This is why I'm never getting married.

Marriage works great when the average life expectancy is 30-40.  That way, once you're starting to get tired of someone, one of you dies.  On average.
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dbt1949
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« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2005, 02:11:00 AM »

The couple across the street fight all the time. They call each other the worst names imaginable. Neither my wife nor I could live like that.
We have our problems from time to time and it takes awhile for me to convince her I'm right  :wink:  but we really don't fight hardly at all and haven't in years.
Sounds like you could use some marriage counseling and a good ground pole.  :wink:
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Daehawk
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« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2005, 02:48:29 AM »

I went out in the dark and fixed it. I decided to just leave the power on so as not to rile her any more than I had to. But lucky me the lead tie off steel cable had a little juice in it. Felt good..no really. So ended up having to kill the power after all. It should not have any juice it period. Must be a short. damn wire is 50 years old at least. Got my eyes and hair full off roofing sand and stuff. All an all a typical day these days.
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Calvin
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« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2005, 03:00:46 AM »

Can I ask you one question? You apparently refuse to work, to provide much substantial monetary contribution to the relationship, and you are a habitual gamer (which is definately NOT a fault biggrin) My honest question to you is, do you really think your wife has nothing to complain about?
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stiffler
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« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2005, 03:11:16 AM »

Reminds me of the old maxim a former sage shared with me:

"When it comes to women it's cheaper to rent than it is to buy."

Yeah.
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mytocles
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« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2005, 03:18:36 AM »

Also... how old is she?  Anywhere after 37 to 40, particularly in the 45-ish range hormones go wild.  Doctors have finally figured out that anti-depressants work for the increasing anger and moodiness that comes with that lovely term "peri-menopause" - and I'm here to tell you they work like magic.  It's all about the estrogen, baby, and it's a lot like 'roid rage.  

Even if she's not that age, it still might be worth having the hormone levels checked... Unfortunately that reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond - where he tries to suggest to his wife that anti-PMS pills might help. Let's just say that figuring out how to recommend it is the trick.

Good Luck, and, for your sake - I hope she doesn't ever see your post. You think you're in the s**t now!
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Daehawk
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« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2005, 03:27:21 AM »

She says in her 40s I think older. She had all that checked because she was showing signs of the change but she says it was all ok.
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« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2005, 03:32:23 AM »

Quote from: "Daehawk"
She says in her 40s I think older. She had all that checked because she was showing signs of the change but she says it was all ok.


You don't know how old your wife is?? Are you shitting us? And why don't you respond to reasonable questions if you are going to vent to us?
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Daehawk
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« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2005, 04:29:33 AM »

Gee rage sorry. No she has the right to complain when complain is required. But complaining because Im fixing something that could be hazardous? I think that was way off base. She's ahoulda been happy about it.

 Last week it was something else. She had a cell phone and id mentioned it would be nice if my cell phone was part of her company...cingular. 2 months ago we were at the mall and she herself..i did not force her...went and added a line to her phone. a new number. The girl rep said it would be a simple $20 extra per month for it. That way we could talk to each other and call from town to see if the other needed something for free thatw ay.

Well come to find out the sales rep lied and hid charges. She was charged a activation fee, a government fee and something else and instead of $20 a minth it was nearly $40 extra. First bill came she fussed some at me for it. This month she blew her top because when she called to cancel it they told it would be nearly $300 to do that. the sales rep had said nothing about any of this. So I caught hell for it. It was all my fault for talkinjg her into that phone yadda yadda yadda. I was told to get out..go die you bastard..many things. I had done nothing.

She huffed and puffed for hours. Finally just cancelling both the phones and telling them to try and get the money for it. She got her a prepaid phone. Its just crazy shit day in and day out nearly.

But dont bother asking questions. ill post stuff like these vents if iw ant. Otherwise im pretty private with my embarrassing life. smile
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the Nightbreeze
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« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2005, 05:29:20 AM »

Quote from: "Daehawk"
.... yadda yadda yadda. I was told to get out..go die you bastard....


Well, I have no clue about your birth legitamacy, but Hell... I say you meet her halfway and give her what she apparently thinks that she wants. -- start planning to get out.  Life is too short to listen to someone blow their lid every day.  A divorce might put you through a financial wringer, but divorces have the merit of having a visible end in sight.
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Daehawk
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« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2005, 05:32:24 AM »

Sometimes I think that would be nice and dream of getting my life together. But then I dont know what id do without her and file it all away.
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« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2005, 11:59:31 AM »

Quote from: "stiffler"
"When it comes to women it's cheaper to rent than it is to buy."

AMEN!

And I will add to that:

"Avoid them altogether".

They are not worth it.  You can't trust them.  You can't reason with them.  They are just - evil. :twisted:
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« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2005, 12:34:49 PM »

I love it when people on a webforum consider themselves qualified to recommend that a person they don't know well should make a life-altering decision like getting a divorce.  And I've also noticed that when ventings like these are made, the majority of the responses always seem to be "break up with him/her, get a divorce, etc."  Just because that's an easy end to a solution doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.  If the venting person loves his significant other, it's ok to stay with him/her and work things out.
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« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2005, 01:05:49 PM »

I'm still trying to wrap my head around being together for 18 years and not knowing the actual age of your wife.  That blows my mind.  It sounds to me (and you can tell me if I'm off or not) that you guys run a 2 checkbook life where each person has a checkbook and their own money and that the two rarely fuse together to make purchases.

She should be old enough to know that cancelling a cellphone will cost mondo money and obviously she just wants to take it out on you because you're the only person around she can vent at.  Other than that, I have no advice to give.  Venting brings out the worst situations and usually the good/great situations are left behind when posting on a forum.  I have to believe there is some (or a lot) of good in the relationship and you're just venting on the bad, which is normal human behavior.

I don't remember, but are you unemployed?  If so that may be where a lot of the anger stems from (depending on how long you've been unemployed...you talk about the last couple of years, has it been that long?).  If she is employed it could be hard for her to accept that you sit at home all day playing games (I'm not saying you do, but it could be her mindset currently).  If you got re-employed the situation would probably get better simply because you aren't around as much to vent at and you're "contributing your piece" to the situation.  Once again though I forget if you are unemployed or not...if you are, forget what I said in this paragraph biggrin.
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« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2005, 03:20:48 PM »

I am in a reasonably successful marriage.

ANd there are times, man, there are times.  I work my ass off around the house and it is NEVER enough, you know "I DO EVERYTHING" how can you just sit there, how can you use the computer.

Sometimes she is right, Im burnt out from work, and I dont need to do EVERYTHING around the house in one night.

Mostly, we communicate well, two kids in the mix really challenges things.

Where I run into the most trouble is her inablilty to handle anything technology related.

We have voice over ip and the power went out in my town this morning and you need to reset the router when the power comes back on, she calls me from her cell in an utter PANIC... and has no idea even what a router LOOKS LIKE... so its loony.

Remember, if there is no more good in the relationship, I see no reason to stay together, but there WILL ALWAYS be moments of nonsense, just dont focuse on them. Im not so sure single life is all that great for me either.... there is good and bad in everything.
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« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2005, 04:37:53 PM »

My mom went batshit insane thanks to menopause and is far too stubborn to seek psychological or hormone treatment.  It's really straining on our family, and quite frankly, if my parents weren't so old (both 54) and if they didn't have kids still in school, (me in college and my 14-year-old brother starting high school), I think they'd have gotten a divorce.

The solution might not be divorce, but you have to realize, she's changed as a person because of menopause and isn't the woman you married.

I recommend an ultimatum.  She gets hormone/psychological treatment, or you walk out.

And I of course recommend you find a source of employment just for financial security's sake.
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« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2005, 06:37:34 PM »

Well Daehawk, I was in a similar situation a couple years ago.  I decided to end the marriage...and now I have a gaming wife who totally completes my being.  I can't believe I even married my ex-wife, let alone stay with her for years...what the hell was I thinking!?
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« Reply #18 on: July 15, 2005, 10:38:26 PM »

I'm going through divorce myself, but it's a really good thing. we have a son together, and we're better friends now than we were in the past 3 years.

That being said, the relationship could have worked if she were more considerate to others. (not just to me, but to others in general). As a selfish person, she'd say "meh" to cutting someone off on the road, but there was HELL TO PAY if she were cut off.

I didn't see the value in the relationship as it was, and "Stuff" IE computers couches and property are NOT worth staying together.
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« Reply #19 on: July 16, 2005, 02:32:28 PM »

Quote
Even if she's not that age, it still might be worth having the hormone levels checked... Unfortunately that reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond - where he tries to suggest to his wife that anti-PMS pills might help. Let's just say that figuring out how to recommend it is the trick.


ROFL, that was the first thing I thought of when I started reading your message.
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mytocles
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« Reply #20 on: July 16, 2005, 06:14:18 PM »

Yeah, Belgedin,

It was one of those "classic" episodes - like the tofu turkey Thanksgiving one, lol!  

But it still holds true - too much estrogen, or too much fluctuation in it or other hormones, can drive you - LE described it perfectly - "batshit insane" - and that's exactly how it feels - you think it's bad putting up with it?  Try living through it yourself!  I'm a very calm, gregarious, even-keeled  - also, "If I have to, I can control myself no matter what I'm feeling" kinda person - and I came within a quarter-inch of throwing a VCR through a sliding glass door because I was having a frustrating moment trying to program something.  Turned out my estrogen levels were too high - and i'm telling you, repeating even, that it felt exactly like the way people describe 'roid rage.

oh, and Starshifter:
Quote
They are not worth it. You can't trust them. You can't reason with them. They are just - evil.
 Good thing you put that devil-smile face on that comment, cz I could give you back a list a mile long of what men are often noted for!  And you know I would!  A mile long, I tell you!

 Tongue
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« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2005, 02:28:00 PM »

Quote from: "mytocles"
I came within a quarter-inch of throwing a VCR through a sliding glass door because I was having a frustrating moment trying to program something.  Turned out my estrogen levels were too high - and i'm telling you, repeating even, that it felt exactly like the way people describe 'roid rage.


"Women always have the last word in an argument. If a man says anything *after* the last word, it begins an entirely new argument." Lets just mix that up with hormonal imbalance and an innocent patio door, and we've got ourselves an instructional video on how NOT to program electronics. slywink
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mytocles
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« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2005, 03:45:43 PM »

Quote
Women always have the last word in an argument.


Oh, yeah?  :twisted:
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Mytocles (MY-toe-cleez)

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« Reply #23 on: July 17, 2005, 06:48:30 PM »

Quote from: "mytocles"
Quote
Women always have the last word in an argument.


Oh, yeah?  :twisted:

Not always...  :twisted:
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« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2005, 04:45:29 PM »

Quote from: "Daehawk"
I walk a fine line with her these days. The least things set her off. 70% of the time life is fine and peaceful and like it used to be sorta but one wrong move and hell rolls in and I just want us to die and be done with life that sucks. Been together too long to change and if we did we'd be lost and unable to start over. Fucked up life.


You know why divorce is so expensive, right?  Because in situations like this, it's worth it.

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