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Author Topic: My wife's grandpa is being taken off of life support  (Read 702 times)
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Harpua3
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« on: September 30, 2012, 08:07:56 AM »

 Not a good day, well now yesterday. He's been in a coma for a few weeks and its just heart breaking. So, actually in a few hrs they are going to take him off of the vent etc.

 We visited yesterday and I think she's doing actually really well, still it hurts me to see her like this. He's a great man, helped raise her, which is making it even more difficult, but at this point he isn't going to get any better. At 88 your body isn't really up to the challenge. So on top of being unemployed, broke, and now this.. When it rains it pours. Just needed to vent a little.

 If there is a positive side to this story, we are really getting along after a few bumps in the last few years and it is really, Bare with me, bringing us closer together. Also, to hijack my own thread, it looks like ill have a interview sometime soon, for something that would fit like a glove for me, so I guess it only gets better from here?

 So I only slept for 2 hrs on Friday night, then slept from 8 til 230 am... She kept sleeping, I can't. I guess a little borderlands 2 is going to help that situation;).
« Last Edit: September 30, 2012, 08:10:51 AM by Harpua3 » Logged
kratz
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« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2012, 04:15:35 PM »

Sounds like a tough time.  I don't have much to offer other than condolences.
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Harpua3
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« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2012, 12:32:15 AM »

Quote from: kratz on September 30, 2012, 04:15:35 PM

Sounds like a tough time.  I don't have much to offer other than condolences.

Much appreciated. She doing okay. He's off the vent and everything. They have him on a morphine drip and just waiting. Pretty fucked up. Certainly not to downplay it, but it is what it is at this point. Not much you can do really.
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rshetts2
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« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2012, 03:58:27 AM »

You have my sympathies.  I went through a similar situation with my mom.  Knowing its the right thing helps little.  Family support and time is the only thing that really helps.  I wish you and yours the very best through these tough times. 
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Harpua3
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« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2012, 04:12:45 AM »

Quote from: rshetts2 on October 01, 2012, 03:58:27 AM

You have my sympathies.  I went through a similar situation with my mom.  Knowing its the right thing helps little.  Family support and time is the only thing that really helps.  I wish you and yours the very best through these tough times. 

Thx as well. Once more these forums rise WAY above the Internet standards. Good people here, and for that thankyou.
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Misguided
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« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2012, 04:21:50 PM »

Sounds like you guys have had a rough time. Good thing you have each other to lean on. Good luck on the interview.
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Harpua3
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« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2012, 03:17:36 AM »

Quote from: Misguided on October 02, 2012, 04:21:50 PM

Sounds like you guys have had a rough time. Good thing you have each other to lean on. Good luck on the interview.

Thankyou very much.
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Harpua3
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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2012, 03:52:25 AM »

So calling hrs were today. Or as I'm finding out, many people call this a "wake". The funeral is tomorrow morning. While I see this process is helpful and the "right" thing to do for many people. When my time comes, I just want friends and family to go out to eat, have drinks and remember me. This services stuff is just way too heartbreaking..
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stessier
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« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2012, 11:14:02 PM »

Quote from: Harpua3 on October 06, 2012, 03:52:25 AM

So calling hrs were today. Or as I'm finding out, many people call this a "wake". The funeral is tomorrow morning. While I see this process is helpful and the "right" thing to do for many people. When my time comes, I just want friends and family to go out to eat, have drinks and remember me. This services stuff is just way too heartbreaking..

I'm sorry for your loss.

I feel the same way, although I wonder if I'm being selfish.  Everything after I'm dead is for the survivors.  If they want the sad version, I can't really see telling them different.  I certainly would prefer the fun version though - telling stories, playing darts, laughing - much better way to remember someone in my opinion.
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« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2012, 02:53:13 AM »

When my dad died, my mom was adamant about not having any kind of services, so I spread his ashes myself with only my mom and my sister present. When my mom died I just said a few words and scattered her ashes while a few close relatives looked on. That's just how my family does things.

My wife's family is just the opposite. When her mother died recently, the siblings spent $30,000 on a traditional funeral and burial because that's how they do things.

Neither way is more right than the other except in the eyes of those who have to arrange it.


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« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2012, 05:54:50 AM »

Quote from: Harpua3 on October 06, 2012, 03:52:25 AM

So calling hrs were today. Or as I'm finding out, many people call this a "wake". The funeral is tomorrow morning. While I see this process is helpful and the "right" thing to do for many people. When my time comes, I just want friends and family to go out to eat, have drinks and remember me. This services stuff is just way too heartbreaking..
When you go out, you should do it like the police in Baltimore do, with your body laid out on the pool table and your buddies around you drinking and singing Irish tunes!
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PeteRock
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« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2012, 01:09:43 PM »

Quote from: Harpua3 on October 06, 2012, 03:52:25 AM

So calling hrs were today. Or as I'm finding out, many people call this a "wake". The funeral is tomorrow morning. While I see this process is helpful and the "right" thing to do for many people. When my time comes, I just want friends and family to go out to eat, have drinks and remember me. This services stuff is just way too heartbreaking..

My wife and I had to go through something similar with her grandmother.  I can only offer condolences.  Despite having gone through something similar, I would never suggest shared understanding or knowledge of how this is impacting your own family.

Know that you are in our thoughts, and take comfort in knowing that memories will last forever and over time will help to ease that feeling of loss.  Our bodies are frail, but memories will continue to endure.
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