My Personal Pat

[deadzone]

So did I ever tell you guys about my Personal Pat?  By Pat, I mean the character from SNL that could not be identified by gender as either male or female.    Good stuff, funny stuff, until it really happens to you!!  

For the past three years, I have continuously spotted a person of the Pat-Gender when riding the bus, shopping, etc...This person ALWAYS WEARS, shorts, a t-shirt, baseball cap, and tennis shoes.  No identifiable jewelry or marks.  Boobs could be decent man-boobs or tiny handful regular boobs.  (Would a bra be required for tiny boobies?)  I just don't know, it's too close to call on this one.  

Anyway, this weekend I was working (I work at Cingular Wireless now) and call the next person, and it's my personal Pat!  Elated, I saw an end to a long-term mystery I could not solve.  I pull up the account and my PP's name is....... Pat!  I am not fucking kidding, I wish I was!    heheheh Oh man, some mysteries are not meant to be solved.  BS alarms going off?  I swear this is a true story.  I have a phone with a camera I plan to snap a pic and post it.  We shall solve this mystery together!

[EngineNo9]

No pics?  Useless!

[deadzone]

heheh you are correct about that.    Taking a bus tomorrow, could be the day!

[deadzone]

Here is a little taste of what to expect!  

[hentzau]

Had a PP at work.  Saw the person for a couple of years, never talked to them, just saw them.  Average height, thin, no curves to speak of, manish-feminine features, short hair.  Always wore pants and a shirt, not masculine nor feminine.  I had no clue if they were male or female.  Would drive me nuts whenever I would see them.

So one day I managed to manuver myself close to them, to try and eavsdrop and see if I could hear their voice or name.  Got both...a baritone/contralto voice, could go either way.  And their name...Chris.  Gah!

Finally...in an auditorium meeting with IBM, Chris raised his/her hand to ask a question.  IBM suit points and says "OK, the gentleman in the blue shirt."  Chris stands up and says, "Thanks, but I'm a woman."  Watch IBM guy squirm.

She's now wearing her hair longer, and now calls herself Christine.  Guess it happened to her a lot.

[Crux]

There is a pat at the Publix down the road from me. Black guy/chick who wears his/her hair in this funky pull-back-do that could go either way. Wearing the gender-neutral Publix stuff and has some funky name I can't remember off the top of my head but that also doesn't give it away. Funny stuff.

[deadzone]

Teh LOLZZZZZZ!!!  I thought I was the only one to deal with this personal hardship.  

[Ypmur]

I hate those skits. It caused me lots of hardship in high school because many jerks would constantly tease me and make fun of me that I was like Pat, and my name is Pat too. Years later, I still can't exactly escape it as my voice isn't exactly deep and lots of people think i'm a woman even when I make an effort to shrug that image off, even when I have facial hair! Annoys me to no end. Often happens to me when I'm at a counter being serviced by a clerk.

[deadzone]

I sincerely apologize if you are truly serious.  I can't apologize for SNL but sorry about my own part in offending you.

[Ypmur]

I am serious. It's something that's haunted me for most of my life.

[Tebunker]

Of course, you know, this means you must post pictures of yourself as evidence to the Consolegold Gods

[Crux]

Often happens to me when I'm at a counter being serviced by a clerk.

Err, they are servicing you and still can't tell? What is the going rate for clerks these days anyway? And does it vary from store to store?

[Ypmur]

Often happens to me when I'm at a counter being serviced by a clerk.

Err, they are servicing you and still can't tell? What is the going rate for clerks these days anyway? And does it vary from store to store?

Yeah, exactly. Like i'd have a goatee and I go up to a counter and it would be like, "Can I help you ma'am?" Or, "Thank you, Ma'am." I just don't have a naturally deep voice and it's sometimes hard for me to control it. It also happens quite often when on the phone, but it baffles me even more when it's in person. The most recent occasion where this happened was at a summer folk festival and I went to order something at a stall, and this person says something like, "How can I help you, Ma'am?" It annoys me to no end. You would think the facial hair would be a dead giveaway, but no.

[Grievous Angel]

There was a Pat here at work, and I only recently confirmed the gender after many years of wondering. Looked like a guy with long hair, sounded like a guy, had an asexual name (Connie, which made me think of Connie Mack, the long-time A's manager). For years, my wife and I called it "it", because we just weren't sure. It was only when I saw it wear a skirt to work that the mystery was solved.

[dbt1949]

[Thin_J]

God made more than two of'em. There's one around here that used to come into Toys R Us and ask me for hot wheels. He even had the whiny voice to go with it. Difference was his name was actually "Junior". He had the silly glasses, and his pants were always pulled up too high. Scary.

Truly scary. It got to the point where I hid in the storeroom when he walked in and someone would tell me on the walkie talkies when he left the building.