http://gamingtrend.com
September 23, 2014, 06:40:22 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: My new novel is coming soon! Warning - controversial title/topic  (Read 1464 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« on: April 15, 2010, 04:16:19 AM »

Hey all,

I know some of you enjoyed Zombie Wilson Diaries. I had a lot of fun with that one. Well last year I was approached by a writer about doing a collaboration. We share similar interests in the bizarre. Bizarro to be exact. We talked for weeks and sketched up a plot about the apocalypse gone terribly wrong. We took a rather unique approach to writing the book together. We picked our characters and melded them into the plot but we told the book from our respective points of view. We didn't just pass a manuscript back and forth. Anyway, the book is done and coming just in time for Crypticon in Seattle this June (we will both be there doing readings and being goofy, swing by if you are in the area!)

So now the warning. The book is a very silly thing - probably comparable to South Park humor without all the bleeps but it will offend some. The title is:

The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole.

Feel free to check out a synopsis at our blog. I just posted the prologue today as well. In a few weeks I'll have at least a chapter read on my new podcast.

One thing I would like to mention. Bizarro books are a good time, I love them. But they are short. We hope to break that trend. This book is nearly 115K words and the manuscript is a hefty 413 pages.

This is a rough draft of the synopsis:

Armageddon arrived on a weekday which was really inconvenient for a lot of people, including The Four Horsemen. After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible. Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Redbull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and blood alcohol content level.

Now, an unlikely band of heroes are going to Las Vegas to fight the apocalypse. Creepy Chuzz with his one armed, heroin addicted monkey Phil are heading there in a flying ice cream truck. His best friend Leon, now on the run from Pestilence who has his designs on the janitor’s bathtub LSD addled brain. Assuming he can escape the clutches of the insane Father Maniwhore.

Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

But they better hurry because the devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start what his son could not. The apocalypse, but only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2010, 03:46:54 PM by Crusis » Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2010, 05:40:41 AM »

I may have to check this one out.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 18544



View Profile WWW
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2010, 01:57:15 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on April 15, 2010, 05:40:41 AM

I may have to check this one out.

I concur. It seems... busy, but I'm all about supporting GT'ers.
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Razgon
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 8297


The Truth is out there


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM »

interesting - I'll be sure to check this out.... oh, and if I may - I dont know what a glory hole is, but you have a tiny spelling error

Quote
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hoards of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

its hordes, not hoards - and I mean that very constructively, since I have no idea whether you have an editor or not :-)
Logged

A new one
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2010, 02:16:14 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM

interesting - I'll be sure to check this out.... oh, and if I may - I dont know what a glory hole is, but you have a tiny spelling error

you should Google it.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
PeteRock
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 6798


Fabulous is a state of being. For me, anyways.


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2010, 02:17:56 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM

Quote
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hoards of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

its hordes, not hoards - and I mean that very constructively, since I have no idea whether you have an editor or not :-)

Don't you mean hourdes?   icon_wink
« Last Edit: April 15, 2010, 02:28:33 PM by PeteRock » Logged

Beauty is only skin deep.  Which is why I take very good care of my skin.
Gratch
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 12489


GO UTES!!


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2010, 02:26:24 PM »

Quote from: Crusis on April 15, 2010, 04:16:19 AM

...heroine addicted monkey Phil ...

So is he addicted to female heroes or heroin (the drug)?  I assume the latter, but perhaps it's the former using a clever play on words.
Logged

“My next great decision is just lying in wait.
The action might turn out to be the world's most grievous mistake."
- Bad Religion, Past is Dead
The Grue
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 8191


You are likely to be eaten by a grue.


View Profile
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2010, 02:47:19 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM

interesting - I'll be sure to check this out.... oh, and if I may - I dont know what a glory hole is, but you have a tiny spelling error

Quote
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hoards of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

its hordes, not hoards - and I mean that very constructively, since I have no idea whether you have an editor or not :-)

Schooled by a non-native English speaker!
Logged

XBox Live ID: The Grue
Playstation Network Name: TheGrue
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2010, 03:43:32 PM »

Bad ispellchecker, BAD! LOL

We wrote the synopsis this weekend and it seemed good at the time but being writers we had to go back and change a bunch of stuff which was probably a good idea. DOH!

The book is being edited by a recent Bram Stoker award nominee. I'm really excited to have her onboard.

Note: don't google glory hole at work!
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Punisher
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1733



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2010, 05:28:00 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM

interesting - I'll be sure to check this out.... oh, and if I may - I dont know what a glory hole is, but you have a tiny spelling error

Quote
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hoards of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

its hordes, not hoards - and I mean that very constructively, since I have no idea whether you have an editor or not :-)

Maybe he meant Princess Sally hoards zombies?
Logged
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2010, 05:41:15 PM »

Quote from: Crusis on April 15, 2010, 03:43:32 PM

Note: don't google glory hole at work!

ah, you're no fun  Tongue
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
LoneStarSpur
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1424


Glad to be old!


View Profile
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2010, 07:33:27 PM »

hmmm
hmmm

I think I'll file this in the "I'm not in the target demographic" category. nod
Logged

Fallin' feels like flyin'. For a little while. - Bad Blake
You're a funny drunk. - my wife
Razgon
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 8297


The Truth is out there


View Profile
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2010, 07:39:21 PM »

Quote from: The Grue on April 15, 2010, 02:47:19 PM

Quote from: Razgon on April 15, 2010, 02:00:23 PM

interesting - I'll be sure to check this out.... oh, and if I may - I dont know what a glory hole is, but you have a tiny spelling error

Quote
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hoards of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hell bent on delivering a cease and desist to Lucifer himself.

its hordes, not hoards - and I mean that very constructively, since I have no idea whether you have an editor or not :-)

Schooled by a non-native English speaker!

heh, we make brochures at my company, and  I tend to upset the graphical department by finding spelling errors and typos AFTER we've printed 5000 copies of them :-D

oh, and totally, its Hourdes!!

I'm afraid to google glory holes now....
Logged

A new one
rshetts2
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2420



View Profile
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2010, 07:43:35 PM »

as well you should be
Logged

Can you see the real me? Can ya, CAN YA?
Punisher
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1733



View Profile
« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2010, 07:51:56 PM »

Quote from: rshetts2 on April 15, 2010, 07:43:35 PM

as well you should be

Well, only slightly, after all, a glory hole is just the site of a famous battle that had a lot of glory for someone, so worst case scenario is that you get some graphic war pictures.... remember, Google is your friend!
 ninja
Logged
Chaz
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5212



View Profile
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2010, 08:00:24 PM »

Coming out on Kindle?  biggrin
Logged

The Grue
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 8191


You are likely to be eaten by a grue.


View Profile
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2010, 08:34:43 PM »

I constantly find myself in the scenario where some sexual term comes up (usually by me) and nobody else has heard of it.  Like I mentioned a "reach around" one day at work and everyone stared at me....nobody had heard the term.  Glory hole was another that came up recently and, yet again, I was the only one who knew what it was.
Logged

XBox Live ID: The Grue
Playstation Network Name: TheGrue
TK-421
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2503



View Profile
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2010, 08:44:06 PM »

Quote from: The Grue on April 15, 2010, 08:34:43 PM

I was the only one who knew what it was.

So are you sad or proud?
Logged

Open the blast doors!  Open the blast doors!
Rowdy
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 722


View Profile
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2010, 08:52:59 PM »

Quote from: The Grue on April 15, 2010, 08:34:43 PM

I constantly find myself in the scenario where some sexual term comes up (usually by me) and nobody else has heard of it.  Like I mentioned a "reach around" one day at work and everyone stared at me....nobody had heard the term.  Glory hole was another that came up recently and, yet again, I was the only one who knew what it was.

Where do you work where 'reach around' and 'glory hole' comes up in conversation?   icon_eek
Logged
TK-421
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2503



View Profile
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2010, 09:26:48 PM »

Quote from: Rowdy on April 15, 2010, 08:52:59 PM

Quote from: The Grue on April 15, 2010, 08:34:43 PM

I constantly find myself in the scenario where some sexual term comes up (usually by me) and nobody else has heard of it.  Like I mentioned a "reach around" one day at work and everyone stared at me....nobody had heard the term.  Glory hole was another that came up recently and, yet again, I was the only one who knew what it was.

Where do you work where 'reach around' and 'glory hole' comes up in conversation?   icon_eek

Wasn't he a former White House press secretary?

Badum-Psh!
Logged

Open the blast doors!  Open the blast doors!
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2010, 02:17:25 AM »

Quote from: Chaz on April 15, 2010, 08:00:24 PM

Coming out on Kindle?  biggrin

YES! And it will probably be $2.99 on kindle and B & N / smashwords. The electronic book trend is changing very rapidly. Publishers are finding that the cheaper books sell like mad. Zombie Wilson is on smashwords.com for $2.99 and if amazon ever approves the Kindle version it will be the same price.

(Just a side note. My good friend Rhiannon Frater edited Zombie Wilson Diaries. Last month she signed a 3 book deal with TOR worth 6 figures. I am so freaking proud of her!) If you like zombie books you better grab them while you can. Her self published trilogy will be pulled next month so TOR can prepare them for release.
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Caine
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10129


My cocaine


View Profile WWW
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2010, 02:22:39 AM »

That's awesome. What's her site and where caned get her books? 

Looking forward to the new book and I hope to go to the convention.
Logged

Chaz
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5212



View Profile
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2010, 02:25:09 AM »

I might give her trilogy a try.  Kind of wondering if Tor might offer them for less than $6 each when they're published under their banner though...
Logged

Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #23 on: April 16, 2010, 03:32:40 AM »

I suspect they will come out in hard back first, or similar over sized trade paperbacks.
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
morlac
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2778



View Profile
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2010, 11:38:00 AM »

Quote from: The Grue on April 15, 2010, 08:34:43 PM

I constantly find myself in the scenario where some sexual term comes up (usually by me) and nobody else has heard of it.  Like I mentioned a "reach around" one day at work and everyone stared at me....nobody had heard the term.  Glory hole was another that came up recently and, yet again, I was the only one who knew what it was.

LOL.  Same thing happened to me in regards to Reach Around.  I was with the boss in vegas and we had been drinking all night.  We were having a very mild salary dispute and I said "next time you plan of Fing me up the ass give me the courtsey of a reach around if you're not going to buy me dinner."  Engineers have no sense of humor.  He had no idea what that meant.
Logged

morlac00 on PSN
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2010, 04:35:33 AM »

This is from the mockup. We went through a number of covers before settling on this one. I'm hoping to approve the proof in the next few weeks. This book is really beautiful. Lots of headers and some really good art work. Final page count is around 340 pages.

Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #26 on: May 26, 2010, 12:17:23 AM »

You can check out a 30+ page preview of the book. I realize this one is not for everybody.  Tongue It is now available on Amazon and will trickle to other stores like Barnes and Nobel and Powell's over the next few weeks. I have a limited supply of books that I will be signed by both Jonathan Moon and myself at Crypticon in Seattle next month. Please PM me or shoot me an email at stupidzombies @ gmail.com if you are interested. They will probably be priced at $15.

After completing The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole, the authors, Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon, fled the country. They were last seen in Brazil, sipping Singapore Slings with Mescal on the side at the Cross-Eyed Donkey bar.

The men are wanted in connection with a string of bowling ball thefts, zombie resurrections, and miniature bulldog jell-o wrestling. If seen, the men are considered wacked and hyper. Caution is advised unless you have a fresh supply of nitrous oxide to share.

Clergy leaders have sworn that the two men will be brought to justice for crimes against the Church and literature in general.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2010, 01:15:17 AM by Crusis » Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #27 on: June 03, 2010, 01:57:23 AM »

We are live on Amazon! Soon on Barnes and Noble, Powell's and others.

It should be out on Kindle in a week or two and prices at only $2.99.

BTW an early reader (a friend who is also a writer) had this to say: "It's like Tom Robbins and Terry Pratchett had a retarted lovechild and left it on Charley Manson's doorstep... but only after they dropped the poor thing on it's head!"

-Tim
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Chaz
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5212



View Profile
« Reply #28 on: June 03, 2010, 02:07:06 AM »

$2.99 for the Kindle edition? Sold!  Tell me when to give you spacebux.
Logged

Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2010, 07:58:17 PM »

The book is finally on Kindle! Just in time, too, Amazon just announced that they are selling more digital books than actual books.

Okay, this big nasty sucker is $2.99 and I would like to say that this is the BEST edited book I have worked on. We had a pro (she is now my editor for my next few books) come in and rock this sucker. She has 12 years of freelance exp and was an english lit major. This book would have sucked without her.

Check out the Peek Inside feature on the paperback. I say this because the book is NOT for everyone.

Another side note. We have been approached by an independent comic company about turning this into a serial or anthology. We are already working up some scripts for the first few comics.  eek eek eek eek eek
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
ravenvii
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2024



View Profile
« Reply #30 on: July 20, 2010, 08:30:15 PM »

Quote from: Crusis on June 03, 2010, 01:57:23 AM

We are live on Amazon! Soon on Barnes and Noble, Powell's and others.

It should be out on Kindle in a week or two and prices at only $2.99.

BTW an early reader (a friend who is also a writer) had this to say: "It's like Tom Robbins and Terry Pratchett had a retarted lovechild and left it on Charley Manson's doorstep... but only after they dropped the poor thing on it's head!"

-Tim

You sure he's a writer? Someone who couldn't even spell retarded right probably shouldn't be called a "writer".
Logged
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3421



View Profile
« Reply #31 on: July 20, 2010, 09:08:52 PM »

With that synopsis, I'm actually interested in reading this novel. I like the way you think, Crusis!
Logged
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #32 on: July 20, 2010, 10:25:53 PM »

Quote from: ravenvii on July 20, 2010, 08:30:15 PM

Quote from: Crusis on June 03, 2010, 01:57:23 AM

We are live on Amazon! Soon on Barnes and Noble, Powell's and others.

It should be out on Kindle in a week or two and prices at only $2.99.

BTW an early reader (a friend who is also a writer) had this to say: "It's like Tom Robbins and Terry Pratchett had a retarted lovechild and left it on Charley Manson's doorstep... but only after they dropped the poor thing on it's head!"

-Tim

You sure he's a writer? Someone who couldn't even spell retarded right probably shouldn't be called a "writer".

eh ... I'll be sure to let her know to stop immediately. Thanks for the heads up. This sort of malicious deviance regarding the written word shall not be tolerated. I shall remove all of her novels from my house and burn them in a pyre while dancing naked, smeared in blood, to the sound of voodoo drums.
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
rickfc
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5651


Why so serious?


View Profile
« Reply #33 on: July 20, 2010, 10:30:26 PM »

Quote from: Crusis on July 20, 2010, 10:25:53 PM

Quote from: ravenvii on July 20, 2010, 08:30:15 PM

Quote from: Crusis on June 03, 2010, 01:57:23 AM

We are live on Amazon! Soon on Barnes and Noble, Powell's and others.

It should be out on Kindle in a week or two and prices at only $2.99.

BTW an early reader (a friend who is also a writer) had this to say: "It's like Tom Robbins and Terry Pratchett had a retarted lovechild and left it on Charley Manson's doorstep... but only after they dropped the poor thing on it's head!"

-Tim

You sure he's a writer? Someone who couldn't even spell retarded right probably shouldn't be called a "writer".

eh ... I'll be sure to let her know to stop immediately. Thanks for the heads up. This sort of malicious deviance regarding the written word shall not be tolerated. I shall remove all of her novels from my house and burn them in a pyre while dancing naked, smeared in blood, to the sound of voodoo drums.

the peepee dance?
Logged
Crusis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1046


Horror hack extraordinaire


View Profile WWW
« Reply #34 on: August 18, 2010, 01:59:52 PM »


My publisher is hosting a contest to give away a bunch of free books including a very personalized copy of The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole. All you have to do to win is write some seriously BAD poetry.

Here is the plain text version.

The Fetid Poet Contest

I am very happy to announce a new contest with tons of free books.

All you have to do is construct your worst, most atrocious, mind numbingly BAD horror or zombie poetry and send it to [email protected]. The poetry will be judged by myself, Tonia Brown, Jonathan Moon and the master of the rhyming word Zombie Zak.

YES We will accept multiple entries.

The contest ends on August 27th. We will announce the winners (??) shortly after that. The top prizes and all around bad poetry will be read for a special contest at Horror Realm to be broadcast on a future podcast.

The worst, most stomach churning abuse of the English language will win the grand prize AND their poem will be read by Zombie Zak.

Here are the prize packs (Special thanks to Doc Pus and all of the other Library of the Living Dead authors for providing so many great items):

Grand Prize:

The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole! The fabled Crypti-copy - signed, licked, and abused by both Jonathan Moon and Timothy W. Long
Chaptered and Versed: Poetic and Cursed by Zombie Zak - signed!
Lucky Stiff by Tonia Brown - signed!
Faith and the Undead by Benjamin Rogers
Dead Tide – by Stephen North
The Apocalypse Shift – by Derek Goodman
An OFFICIAL Pus On-board T-shirt from the good Doc Pus

Runner up prize:
Zombie Wilson Diaries - signed
Dead Tide - by Stephen North
The Apocalypse Shift - by Derek Goodman

Runner up prize:
Mr. Moon's Nightmares - signed by Jonathan Moon
Dead Tide – by Stephen North
Apocalypse Shift – by Derek Goodman
Logged

I get paid to write books. It's a thing. http://timothywlong.com
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.197 seconds with 93 queries. (Pretty URLs adds 0.08s, 2q)