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Author Topic: Man's testicles locked in padlock!  (Read 3153 times)
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VynlSol
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« on: August 08, 2005, 03:17:15 PM »

The world never ceases to amaze me...

http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/irresistible/4815844/detail.html
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pr0ner
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« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2005, 03:25:37 PM »

OUCH!   retard
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« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2005, 03:39:43 PM »

:shock:  :shock:

One should keep ones jiggly bits away from locks methinks.
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« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2005, 03:46:48 PM »

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The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.


 :shock:  Back at teh farm we would put a rubber band around a bull's testes to remove them and it didn't take that long.  It's amazing they said the guy has no lasting injuries.
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Calvin
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« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2005, 04:14:56 PM »

Jesus. Ouch.
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2005, 04:34:50 PM »

I've heard of having your nuts in a vice before, but some people never cease to amaze me by taking things literally.
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Jancelot
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« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2005, 04:53:12 PM »

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The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.


I would've just gone to the hospital or called a locksmith loooong before I would've put a hacksaw anywhere near my sack.
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Graham
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« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2005, 05:25:26 PM »

I'm just glad that there isn't a picture of it.
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ElijahPrice
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« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2005, 05:39:20 PM »

My first reaction was pure laughter.  The embarassment of that guy waking up nad being like, OMG.  And then going around for that long before finally going to the hospital.  Hahah.
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stiffler
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« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2005, 09:25:07 PM »

Man, that "friend" would be due for some serious payback.  The thing that strikes me is two weeks!?  How does one get around with something like that dragging him down?  I'm pretty sure I would have panicked after the key broke.  Might have tried the hacksaw, but if that didn't work I'd be hitting up the hospital ASAP.
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« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2005, 11:44:07 PM »

Why didn't he get bolt cutters instead of a hacksaw?

I wonder if that blacksmith got hazard pay.
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CeeKay
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« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2005, 11:47:54 PM »

I guess he shouldn't have been masterlocking!
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zinckiwi
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« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2005, 01:32:44 AM »

Quote from: "ElijahPrice"
The embarassment of that guy waking up nad being like, OMG.


QFT
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stiffler
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« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2005, 01:59:32 AM »

Quote from: "unbreakable"
Why didn't he get bolt cutters instead of a hacksaw?


I hate to put too much thought into it, but that's a good question.  Then I remembered you usually have to get them around the lock.  I don't think you can break the lock with just the tips.  Man, you wouldn't want to slip, plus the "snap" when they cut through could do some ugly damage.

Why did I just have to look at this from all angles?  Clearly padlock companies need some kind of emergency unlock, similar to the pinhole eject we have on CD-ROM drives.

(clearly my idea above isn't as well thought out as my bolt cutter argument  :lol:)
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« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2005, 02:07:23 AM »

breaking off the key in the lock is the definition of "DOH!!!"
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VynlSol
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« Reply #15 on: August 09, 2005, 02:22:16 AM »

Nut Locked Man: "Hi, yeah, I'm gonna have to call in sick today."

Boss: "What the hell is your excuse this time? You seem to be sick an awful lot..."

Nut Locked Man: "Well, I have a padlock -locked- on my testicles and..."

Boss: "uh..."

Nut Locked Man: "...I found the keys to it, but when I tried to unlock it the damn key broke off inside the lock so..."

Boss: ...DIALTONE...

Nut Locked Man: "Hello? I'm not lying, damnit!!"
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stiffler
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« Reply #16 on: August 09, 2005, 02:30:36 AM »

I dunno, VynlSol.  If I were the boss and got that phone call I would believe him.  The story is just too out there.

Of course I'd still fire him for being a COMPLETE DUMBASS!
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« Reply #17 on: August 09, 2005, 07:23:59 PM »

Hopefully it was a big lock.  I don't know what would be more embarrassing, having your nuts locked, or it being possible to lock them with a mini-lock.
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