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Author Topic: Luke Skywalker is an Idiot.  (Read 1978 times)
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Knightshade Dragon
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« on: October 22, 2008, 06:10:13 PM »

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/10/the_5_reasons_luke_skywalker_is_a_complete_idiot.php

These are hilarious!  I enjoyed this:

Quote
4) Refusing to Listen to the Only Living Jedi in the Galaxy

Luke gets a vision of his dead mentor Obi-Wan telling him to go to Dagobah to get training from the Jedi Master, Yoda. Luke obeys, goes out to Dagobah, finds Yoda, and then proceeds to ignore him at every important turn. Yoda tells him not to go into the scary cave with weapons, Luke doesn’t listen. Yoda gives him a lesson about overcoming great obstacles, and Luke doesn’t take it to heart, can’t lift his own X-Wing and gets all pissy. Yoda and the Ghost of Obi-Wan both tell him not to go running off to Bespin to save his friends as he’s going to endanger everything they fought for. Luke doesn’t listen, goes off to Bespin, helps nobody and gets his damn hand chopped off.

Well done, Luke. Why should “Obi-Wan coming back as a ghost to give important instructions” convey any significance to you? Why should not pay attention to the one muppet who knows how to use the Force? You're just a jerk who nearly turned into a Hoth-sicle—you surely know better than both of 'em!
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« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2008, 06:26:11 PM »

Excellent!  icon_biggrin
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Space Herpes
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« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2008, 06:38:12 PM »

Did you notice how in #5, they bitch at Luke for listening to Obi-wan?

Quote
I mean, they make targeting systems for a reason, Luke—and chances are, the Rebel's would prefer to trust your X-Wing's highly sophisticated on-board computer than a mystical power you spent a few hours learning yesterday afternoon.

Of course, the few hours of force training was more than he got from the Rebel Alliance.  I mean, the guy had never flown a X-Wing before and they made him Red Leader.  If the bad guys couldn't catch these rebels, then they deserved to have their death star blown up.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2008, 06:42:32 PM by Space Herpes » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2008, 06:47:41 PM »

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Of course, the few hours of force training was more than he got from the Rebel Alliance.  I mean, the guy had never flown a X-Wing before and they made him Red Leader.  If the bad guys couldn't catch these rebels, then they deserved to have their death star blown up.

"they did what?!?!?!... a bunch of kids???... what the hell is an aluminum falcon???"
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Moliere
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« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2008, 07:53:59 PM »

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Luke: “Just listen. Next we have Leia pose as a bounty hunter arriving at Jabba’s palace with Chewbacca captured. She’s going to hand over Chewbacca to Jabba.”

You: “Wait, why? Wouldn’t that mean we would now have to rescue Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2-D2 and C3PO? That just makes it more difficult, right?”

 icon_biggrin
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Zero
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« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2008, 07:54:57 PM »

With Halloween coming up...I totally agree with this:

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1) Not Joining the Dark Side

...let’s face it—the Dark Side is simply cooler. Members of the Sith have neat custom lightsabers, get to slap everyone around, and just plain look cooler. For Halloween, how many Luke costumes do you see people wearing nowadays? Zero. How many Darth Vader costumes do you see? Still too many to count. Bad is good, baby.

My son is going out as Darth :-)
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« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2008, 08:57:31 PM »

Quote from: Space Herpes on October 22, 2008, 06:38:12 PM

Did you notice how in #5, they bitch at Luke for listening to Obi-wan?

Quote
I mean, they make targeting systems for a reason, Luke—and chances are, the Rebel's would prefer to trust your X-Wing's highly sophisticated on-board computer than a mystical power you spent a few hours learning yesterday afternoon.

Of course, the few hours of force training was more than he got from the Rebel Alliance.  I mean, the guy had never flown a X-Wing before and they made him Red Leader.  If the bad guys couldn't catch these rebels, then they deserved to have their death star blown up.

[geek hat]I think it was mentioned during the briefing before the attack on the Death Star that the targeting computers on the Y-Wings and X-Wings weren't accurate enough to hit the exhaust port with any kind of precision, but they had to take the chance. Luke avoided that problem by relying on the Force instead. [/geek hat]
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2008, 09:08:03 PM »

That, and he'd bulls-eyed Womp rats in his T-16 Skyhopper.  They aren't much bigger than two meters. 
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« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2008, 10:11:58 PM »

Quote from: Zero on October 22, 2008, 07:54:57 PM

With Halloween coming up...I totally agree with this:

Quote
1) Not Joining the Dark Side

...let’s face it—the Dark Side is simply cooler. Members of the Sith have neat custom lightsabers, get to slap everyone around, and just plain look cooler. For Halloween, how many Luke costumes do you see people wearing nowadays? Zero. How many Darth Vader costumes do you see? Still too many to count. Bad is good, baby.

My son is going out as Darth :-)

My son is going as a Jawa...
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2008, 10:36:21 PM »

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« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2008, 12:37:52 PM »

Quote from: Isgrimnur on October 22, 2008, 09:08:03 PM

That, and he'd bulls-eyed Womp rats in his T-16 Skyhopper.  They aren't much bigger than two meters. 

Which is pretty disturbing, really.  It's the first step towards deep-seated mental issues.  Seriously, you should watch kids who hurt small animals for fun and then brag about it.
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2008, 02:27:50 PM »

They were performing a public service.

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The Beggar's Canyon womp rat reproduce at an alarming rate. Once it reproduced to such a point that the population could not be kept in check, and womp rats were hunting Jawas and raiding storehouses. The Imperial prefect of Tatooine and the Affiliated Moisture Farmers then passed a bounty ordinance of ten credits per rat. Luke Skywalker and his friend Biggs Darklighter got enough womp rats to upgrade their T-16 skyhoppers and have enough money for the Academy.
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« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2008, 03:00:55 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on October 23, 2008, 12:37:52 PM

Quote from: Isgrimnur on October 22, 2008, 09:08:03 PM

That, and he'd bulls-eyed Womp rats in his T-16 Skyhopper.  They aren't much bigger than two meters. 

Which is pretty disturbing, really.  It's the first step towards deep-seated mental issues.  Seriously, you should watch kids who hurt small animals for fun and then brag about it.
A two meter rat?  That needs killin'
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« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2008, 04:28:54 PM »

Quote from: Space Herpes on October 22, 2008, 06:38:12 PM

Did you notice how in #5, they bitch at Luke for listening to Obi-wan?

Quote
I mean, they make targeting systems for a reason, Luke—and chances are, the Rebel's would prefer to trust your X-Wing's highly sophisticated on-board computer than a mystical power you spent a few hours learning yesterday afternoon.

Of course, the few hours of force training was more than he got from the Rebel Alliance.  I mean, the guy had never flown a X-Wing before and they made him Red Leader. 

Dude, he was Red 5.  That's, like, the guy in the squad who gets sent out as the decoy.  Note that his job initially was "fly around above the trench to draw fire while the Y-wings make the run."  After the Gold squadron got blowed up, a chunk of Red went in, and Luke was still hanging out drawing fire.  He was, like, the last one in after everyone else got blowed up (except for Wedge, who did his usual running like a pussy).
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« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2008, 05:47:20 PM »

Quote from: Laner on October 23, 2008, 03:00:55 PM

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on October 23, 2008, 12:37:52 PM

Quote from: Isgrimnur on October 22, 2008, 09:08:03 PM

That, and he'd bulls-eyed Womp rats in his T-16 Skyhopper.  They aren't much bigger than two meters. 

Which is pretty disturbing, really.  It's the first step towards deep-seated mental issues.  Seriously, you should watch kids who hurt small animals for fun and then brag about it.
A two meter rat?  That needs killin'
Rodents of two meter size?  I don't think they exist.
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« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2008, 05:47:43 PM »

AAAH!
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Scuzz
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« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2008, 03:16:10 PM »

ROUS's  Rodent of Unusual Size........different movie
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Kagath
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« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2008, 03:22:44 PM »

Quote from: Chaz on October 23, 2008, 04:28:54 PM

Quote from: Space Herpes on October 22, 2008, 06:38:12 PM

Did you notice how in #5, they bitch at Luke for listening to Obi-wan?

Quote
I mean, they make targeting systems for a reason, Luke—and chances are, the Rebel's would prefer to trust your X-Wing's highly sophisticated on-board computer than a mystical power you spent a few hours learning yesterday afternoon.

Of course, the few hours of force training was more than he got from the Rebel Alliance.  I mean, the guy had never flown a X-Wing before and they made him Red Leader. 

Dude, he was Red 5.  That's, like, the guy in the squad who gets sent out as the decoy.  Note that his job initially was "fly around above the trench to draw fire while the Y-wings make the run."  After the Gold squadron got blowed up, a chunk of Red went in, and Luke was still hanging out drawing fire.  He was, like, the last one in after everyone else got blowed up (except for Wedge, who did his usual running like a pussy).
Thank you. That bothered me for some strange reason.  icon_redface
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« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2008, 09:01:05 PM »

Pull out Wedge! You're not doing us any good back there!

Memories of me talking to my underwear.
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« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2008, 09:14:01 PM »

Quote from: Purge on October 24, 2008, 09:01:05 PM

Pull out Wedge! You're not doing us any good back there!

Memories of me talking to my underwear.

OMG....That just made me laugh.  Thanks  icon_lol
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« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2008, 10:13:44 PM »

My first year of college, there was a girl in our dorm of a certain moral lassitude.  Her nickname among the crowd I ran with was FOD (Faces of Death) because sleeping with her was taking your life in your own hands.  After a late night viewing of Star Wars, she was renamed "Falcon" after Leia's line upon first seeing the ship.

...

"You came in that thing?  You're braver than I thought."
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