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Author Topic: Long Absence  (Read 1101 times)
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rickfc
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« on: October 06, 2008, 08:47:39 PM »

Hi guys,

I've been gone for a while and hardly recognize the place.  smile

As many of you know, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer not so long ago.  He was apparently not destined for a long fight as he died on Friday, September 26th at 7:12 pm.  He was 73.

It has been a really trying time for my family.  While I may write out a detailed summary of the events for my coping at a later time, for now I will leave it at the fact that he died surrounded by his family.  He had told my mom that he didn't want to die alone.  He did not.  He's probably bragging about that to everyone wherever he ended up.  smile

My family is ok.  I'm ok.

By the time he was diagnosed, the cancer was all over his body, and any treatment would have been pointless and probably caused him more pain.  He was a man's man.  But as he told my mom, he was allergic to pain.

Thank you to everyone who sent a kind word and/or prayer my way on the cancer thread.  It meant the world to me to have so many people, including many that I don't know beyond an online avatar, sending good vibes my way.  Every bit helped.

Lastly, I will ask for you to excuse me if in the coming days I act a bit out of character or lash out without reason.  Please know that I mean not one iota of it, if I speak out of term.

Sincerely,

Rick Celeita.

P.S. Here's a picture that my brother took a couple of Thanksgivings ago:



It captured the essence of my dad spot on.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2008, 09:05:44 PM by rickfc » Logged
Isgrimnur
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« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2008, 08:52:07 PM »

Glad to hear from you and that you're doing ok. 
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lildrgn
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« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2008, 08:54:09 PM »

Hey Rick,

Sorry to hear of it, man. Speaking as a guy who is about to observe the 1 month "anniversary" of his dad's passing, I feel your pain. I talked to a close friend yesterday who told me about her ex-boyfriend's mom passing away last Monday. Then her own brush with mortality (long story) later that week.

What the hell is going on these days??

Anyway, you and yours are in my thoughts. I hope you continue on your healing path. I know it hits everyone differently and, for me, writing and talking with the GT folks was integral in dealing with my grief.

We are here for you, Rick.

Gwon
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th'FOOL
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« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2008, 09:18:34 PM »

Good to see you back, Rick.  I've been wanting to call you but have really been at a loss as to what to say.  Just know that you guys have been in mine and Aimi's thoughts.

Oh, and I've been totally cig-free since you told me about the diagnosis.  Not that I was a full-time smoker at the time, just decided that it was, in fact, time.  Haven't thought twice about it since.

The next few weeks are chock-full, but we definitely need to get together.

cheers.
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« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2008, 09:29:26 PM »

My condolences about your dad and glad to hear you're doing ok.
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rickfc
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« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2008, 09:33:21 PM »

Quote from: lildrgn on October 06, 2008, 08:54:09 PM

Hey Rick,

Sorry to hear of it, man. Speaking as a guy who is about to observe the 1 month "anniversary" of his dad's passing, I feel your pain. I talked to a close friend yesterday who told me about her ex-boyfriend's mom passing away last Monday. Then her own brush with mortality (long story) later that week.

What the hell is going on these days??

Anyway, you and yours are in my thoughts. I hope you continue on your healing path. I know it hits everyone differently and, for me, writing and talking with the GT folks was integral in dealing with my grief.

We are here for you, Rick.

Gwon


Thanks, Gwon.  I appreciate the sentiment.  There have been good days and there have been bad days.  It's nice to know I can count on you guys to let me vent.

Quote from: th'FOOL on October 06, 2008, 09:18:34 PM

Good to see you back, Rick.  I've been wanting to call you but have really been at a loss as to what to say.  Just know that you guys have been in mine and Aimi's thoughts.

Oh, and I've been totally cig-free since you told me about the diagnosis.  Not that I was a full-time smoker at the time, just decided that it was, in fact, time.  Haven't thought twice about it since.

The next few weeks are chock-full, but we definitely need to get together.

cheers.

Nothing needs to be said, buddy.  Shit happens, and this time, it happened to my family.  As my step-brother put it, it was the natural process.  He was the eldest in our family.  He lived a full life, and I'm sure his only regret was that he didn't get a chance to come home and straighten out all of his affairs for my mom.  That's why I was there all week: to try and help her deal with some of that stuff.

We definitely need to get together soon.  We'll keep in touch and figure something out.
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« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2008, 09:36:46 PM »

Our condolences go out to you and we're happy to see you back.  This place isn't nearly as fabulous without you. 
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Zero
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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2008, 10:38:55 PM »

You and your family are in my thoughts.  I hope for the best for you and glad to see you back.
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lildrgn
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« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2008, 10:54:55 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on October 06, 2008, 09:33:21 PM

He lived a full life, and I'm sure his only regret was that he didn't get a chance to come home and straighten out all of his affairs for my mom.  That's why I was there all week: to try and help her deal with some of that stuff.

No doubt. Credit cards, mortgages, bank accounts, blah blah blah. What a pain. I call it the "business" side of death. Good luck.
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Caine
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« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2008, 11:06:17 PM »

i am sorry for your loss rick.  i know that hanging around here and shooting the news with whatever random topic i chanced upon has helped me, so i know it will help you to be around people here, in as much as that applies to internet forum posters.  hell, i haven't even posted my own version of this topic as i really didn't know what to say.  it seems easier this way and i hope you don't mind the slight derail as i did earlier. 

he had a long life and looked like a happy person to be around.  we can only hope for so much in life and he looks like he had a good one. 
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« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2008, 11:56:42 PM »

man, here I was, all ready with the 'who are you?' or 'sorry bub, but any underwear left unattended for more than 7 days is fair game' but those seem so out of place now, so I'll just say that I'm sorry for your loss and shut up before I say something stupid.






ps.  if you need a laugh be sure to check out what is sure to be PeteRocks newest culinary perfection.
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Gratch
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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2008, 01:40:37 AM »

My condolences rick, and it's good to have you back.  Glad you're OK, and Mrs. Gratch and I will be sending some good vibes your way.  smile
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rickfc
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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2008, 05:15:38 AM »

Quote from: PeteRock on October 06, 2008, 09:36:46 PM

Our condolences go out to you and we're happy to see you back.  This place isn't nearly as fabulous without you. 

Quote from: Zero on October 06, 2008, 10:38:55 PM

You and your family are in my thoughts.  I hope for the best for you and glad to see you back.

Quote from: CeeKay on October 06, 2008, 11:56:42 PM

man, here I was, all ready with the 'who are you?' or 'sorry bub, but any underwear left unattended for more than 7 days is fair game' but those seem so out of place now, so I'll just say that I'm sorry for your loss and shut up before I say something stupid.


Quote from: Gratch on October 07, 2008, 01:40:37 AM

My condolences rick, and it's good to have you back.  Glad you're OK, and Mrs. Gratch and I will be sending some good vibes your way.  smile

Thanks, guys.  Yes, even you, CeeKay.  I missed this place the last couple of weeks.

Quote from: Caine on October 06, 2008, 11:06:17 PM

i am sorry for your loss rick.  i know that hanging around here and shooting the news with whatever random topic i chanced upon has helped me, so i know it will help you to be around people here, in as much as that applies to internet forum posters.  hell, i haven't even posted my own version of this topic as i really didn't know what to say.  it seems easier this way and i hope you don't mind the slight derail as i did earlier. 

he had a long life and looked like a happy person to be around.  we can only hope for so much in life and he looks like he had a good one. 

Caine, there's no need to apologize for the derail.  Having never gone through this before, anything you can do to cope is fine.  The last person you're going to get a complaint from is me.  I hope you and your family are ok.
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Daehawk
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« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2008, 04:18:57 PM »

Sorry about your dad. I hope you really are doing ok .
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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2008, 05:23:40 PM »

Sorry for your loss, rick.
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hepcat
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« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2008, 07:33:56 PM »

While I'm sad to hear of his passing, it makes me happy that he was loved enough to warrant such kind words from his son. 
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rickfc
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« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2008, 07:39:01 PM »

Quote from: Daehawk on October 07, 2008, 04:18:57 PM

Sorry about your dad. I hope you really are doing ok .

Thanks, Daehawk.  I think I'm doing ok.  I told a coworker today that if I was sad and constantly moping, my dad would tell me to stop being such a pussy.  That makes me smile every time.   nod

Quote from: kratz on October 07, 2008, 05:23:40 PM

Sorry for your loss, rick.

Thanks, kratz.

Quote from: hepcat on October 07, 2008, 07:33:56 PM

While I'm sad to hear of his passing, it makes me happy that he was loved enough to warrant such kind words from his son. 

Thanks, hep.  It's really hard to imagine what it's going to be like living out my life without him there for support and advice.  I'll live out the rest of my days trying to be half the man he was.   icon_frown
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mytocles
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« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2008, 08:04:03 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on October 07, 2008, 07:33:56 PM

While I'm sad to hear of his passing, it makes me happy that he was loved enough to warrant such kind words from his son. 

Well said.  Except for "I'm sorry" I can't think of anything better to add.  icon_cry

 
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2008, 08:07:30 PM »

I can't imagine how badly I would be doing if I lost my father.  My condolences on your loss.  I don't think there could be a sadder day than when when a man loses his father. crybaby
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rickfc
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« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2008, 08:10:20 PM »

Quote from: Isgrimnur on October 07, 2008, 08:07:30 PM

I can't imagine how badly I would be doing if I lost my father.  My condolences on your loss.  I don't think there could be a sadder day than when when a man loses his father. crybaby

I think that had it been under different circumstances, such as a sudden death where I didn't get to say goodbye or tell him how much I love him and appreciate everything he did, I'd be a wreck.  Thankfully, that was not the case, and I was able to tell him mostly everything I wanted to.  I think he heard me.  I hope he did.  Part of me knows he did.
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