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Author Topic: I told my son about sex tonight  (Read 3525 times)
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« on: December 16, 2004, 02:17:47 AM »

My oldest son Kyle (8 1/2) and I were talking about our cat and why she can't have kittens.  Question after question followed and now he knows the whole deal -> sperm, egg, intercourse, everything.

We've always taught our kids to refer to body parts by their correct names so it was relatively easy to transition that into The Talk tonight.  He seemed able to understand it and, most important, he was ready to learn about it.  Genuinely curious.  At one point he said "So daddy did you put your penis in mommy's vagina to make me?"   biggrin   Ain't nothing better than kids.

I think to my parents and how they handled talking about sex: they didn't.  I asked my dad once (I was about 9 or 10) what the birds and the bees were and he said "Birds fly and bees gather honey.  You'll learn the rest when you are older."  I found out from my friends how the plumbing worked and really wish I'd heard it from my parents.  Instead I got a copy of the book "Sin, Sex and Self-Control" by Rev. Norman Vincent Peale.

When I left for college my dad handed me a condom and said, "I hope you know what this is and how to use it."  And he walked away.

Now that the oldest knows I'm wondering how long it will take him to tell the other two (7 and 5).  I'm guessing I'll have The Talk with them within the week.   biggrin
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2004, 02:19:28 AM »

It's when they start asking about vibrators and bondage that I'd be a little freaked out by the conversation. But I'm old fashioned.
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« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2004, 03:06:04 AM »

You really can't start too young. I got a note the other day from my son's preschool teacher saying that she was uncomfortable with my 4 year old using correct names for body parts and body functions. Ugh.

As for me, I learned from my Mom at the age of 10. She drew diagrams. Answered all my questions. Over all it was very tactful. However she drunk out of her mind at the time and forgot all about it. So about a year later when she felt it was time to have the "talk" she was upset that I knew everything and claimed that she told me.
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disarm
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« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2004, 04:13:48 AM »

i never actually got "The Talk" from either of my parents...just picked it up somewhere along the way.  it doesn't take long for word of that stuff to get around school once one kid has heard the truth.  my own curiosity and tendency to read any book i could get my hands on didn't slow things down any either.  a couple years ago, the subject came up around my mom, and my older brother and i both mentioned that we never got the talk.  my mom swore that she must have done it at some point and was surprised that it never happened.  i'm sure she had a talk with my younger sister though...

put me in the group that thinks you really can't start too young as long as you think the kids are ready to understand.  what's the use in keeping it secret?
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dbt1949
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« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2004, 04:45:20 AM »

Could you tell me next? I've led a sheltered life.
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disarm
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« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2004, 05:09:40 AM »

Quote from: "dbt1949"
Could you tell me next? I've led a sheltered life.

i have no idea how you can possibly be on the internet and still not understand these things...
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Daehawk
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« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2004, 06:36:42 AM »

What the hell are you guys talking about? Did I miss out on something in life?
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« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2004, 07:23:23 AM »

Quote from: "disarm"
Quote from: "dbt1949"
Could you tell me next? I've led a sheltered life.

i have no idea how you can possibly be on the internet and still not understand these things...


Disarm, meet sarcasm.
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The Rocketman
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« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2004, 08:08:54 AM »

TheOneWhoStoodUp, meet sarcasm smile
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« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2004, 08:12:10 AM »

I never had the talk, in fact my mom went so far as to try to repress it well into high school.

So now I'm mildly messed up in the head because of it, depression I think.  Probably going to see a doctor about it soon because I've finally realized that it's just destroyed my college performance, not to mention my social life.

Seriously, talk to your kids, make them feel human.  There is no safety in ignorance.
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disarm
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« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2004, 09:18:32 AM »

Quote from: "The Rocketman"
TheOneWhoStoodUp, meet sarcasm smile

my thoughts exactly slywink
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« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2004, 11:55:25 AM »

Sex isn't dirty or evil, so its good to let your kids know about it when they start asking questions.  The worst thing to do is beat around the bush.  Heck, its how people are made!  It's a wonderful thing!  No need to be ashamed about talking about it and telling them how it works.
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« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2004, 12:46:08 PM »

Speaking of sex, did anybody see the movie Kinsey?  Here's a New York Times piece on 'The Plot Against Sex in America:" (free reg. required)
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/12/arts/12rich.html?oref=login
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ChrisGwinn
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« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2004, 04:15:37 PM »

I think they probably can be too young.  If you give the talk to your kid in, say, the first year of his life, you'll probably need to give it to him again.  On the other hand, the questions won't be that awkward.
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coopasonic
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« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2004, 04:31:35 PM »

I never got the talk, it probably impacted me negatively... but I got by.
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« Reply #15 on: December 16, 2004, 04:59:58 PM »

I recall my first, frank discussion about sex with someone older than myself like it was yesterday.

I remember saying, "Okay Father McHenry, you want me to do what?"
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« Reply #16 on: December 16, 2004, 10:23:58 PM »

AHH the horror!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine was basically, "Dont' you dare get a girl pregnant!"
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Ranulf
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« Reply #17 on: December 16, 2004, 11:11:46 PM »

Hah.. my parents talk about sex? Explain how things work? Yeah, right. I learned about all that from my friends, playboy, skinemax, and a friend's older brother's porno tapes (God bless him).


Dad never said a thing to me and Mom at the end of high school could talk about it somewhat. I remember a family health assignment where I had to ask mom what she thought about abortion and would she support me if I got a girl pregnant. That was about the only conversation we ever had on the subject.
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Eightball
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« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2004, 02:14:17 AM »

I learned on the job, so to speak  :wink:
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« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2004, 03:39:16 AM »

Quote from: "hepcat"
I recall my first, frank discussion about sex with someone older than myself like it was yesterday.

I remember saying, "Okay Father McHenry, you want me to do what?"


LMFAO!!  Reminds me of Scary Movie 3 smile

-Crusis
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« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2004, 01:43:32 PM »

Quote from: "Eightball"
I learned on the job, so to speak  :wink:


are we talkin' male prostitute here?
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« Reply #21 on: December 17, 2004, 06:22:16 PM »

I am so SHOCKED none of you admitted haveing learned from cable like you all really did smile  

Man I miss odl school cinemax after dark... smile
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« Reply #22 on: December 17, 2004, 09:42:21 PM »

Quote from: "jpinard"
AHH the horror!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine was basically, "Dont' you dare get a girl pregnant!"


Very close to my experience there.  My mother said to me "You know... if you... get in trouble... take a cold shower."

That was it.
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« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2004, 02:53:20 AM »

Warning, what a great attitude... too bad everyone doesn't have it (or had it)!

Turtle, that's the bravest post i've seen - anywhere - ever... thanks...

The truth rules (and, maybe someday it will)!
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« Reply #24 on: December 18, 2004, 11:50:43 PM »

Quote from: "warning"
"Sin, Sex and Self-Control" by Rev. Norman Vincent Peale.


So did you read about all three or just skip to the sex part?
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« Reply #25 on: December 19, 2004, 12:19:02 AM »

Quote from: "ElijahPrice"
Quote from: "warning"
"Sin, Sex and Self-Control" by Rev. Norman Vincent Peale.


So did you read about all three or just skip to the sex part?

Ding ding ding!  We have a winner!

Of course the basic message was "DON'T!"  Which was fine.  I didn't really want to have sex at that age but some basic information would have been nice...
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« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2005, 10:06:20 PM »

I had to find out through books, and in Russia they were in limited amounts in the times. So had to pick up here and there, i think its really strated off in US. I overcame my shynes ( i was uper shy about that), and around 18-19 i was good to go. The rest is history. I mean i think i should have goten the talk, it would make it a bit easier, but i think you will find out about it one way or the other.
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« Reply #27 on: January 17, 2005, 02:42:23 AM »

So my 5 year old came up to me and said, "Dada, what's sex?"

Well, we always try to be open and straightforward with our boys, so I had no choice but to give him The Talk.  Birds.  Bees.  Diagrams.  The whole thing.

He sat there silent and wide-eyed.  I started to wonder, so I asked, "Why did you ask about this?"  He said, "Well, Mama said that supper would be ready in a few secs."

I can't remember where I heard that originally, but it was very funny. slywink
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