http://gamingtrend.com
October 01, 2014, 10:56:45 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: 1 2 [3]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I think I need a new dojo (Updated 10/1)  (Read 3998 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Harkonis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 9786



View Profile
« Reply #80 on: April 24, 2010, 06:41:05 PM »

I've always had a serious aversion to the 'everyone passes' philosophy in any medium.  I find it exceptionally incorrect as it pertains to martial arts though.  (heh, i typed marital arts the first time, guess that applies too)
Logged
Crux
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1541



View Profile
« Reply #81 on: April 24, 2010, 06:59:28 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on April 24, 2010, 04:25:08 PM

So I'm still not sure what to do here.   The one instructor that I learn the most from has asked me repeatedly to stay.  He feels equally trapped as he and I share a lot of the same philosophy on what is important in martial arts (focus, precision, perfection of technique, etc.), whereas our Sensei that runs the place lets folks 'grow into' belts, having not failed anyone in the 2.5 years that I've been there. The Sensei who runs the dojo has banished the assbag who did this to my eye to Fridays never to return (I made it clear that if I ever see him in the dojo again I'm just leaving - no conversation, no coming back, he assures me I won't.), and promises to 'work on' the dojo adherence to standards, but it somehow feels disingenuous.  While I don't feel like Mr. No-Control is going to come back, I don't forsee the students suddenly getting standards.  The question that bugs me is, do I continue to train there to learn from the one instructor that is still teaching Martial Arts and not running a daycare?  It wouldn't be a question, but yea....he's that damned good - I want to steal what he's got. 

My Sensei also laid that my feet that people feel 'nervous' sparring against me.  I again pointed out that I've never injured a single student or even come close - he had no specific examples to give me insight on what to change.   I think I can solve that - I use my prerogative as a 3rd Dan to say "I'm not working with anyone below Brown or 1st Dan anymore - no sparring, no teaching".  Harsh, yes, but as Brian can attest, I work hard to make sure I don't injure students, so if there is this vast amount of people that are 'worried' about sparring with me, well...they won't have to worry any more. 

I feel painted into a corner right now....

This really sounds like something of a bad situation overall, Ron. First of all the Sensei should never have let it come to this - it is his dojo and he should have put an end to the out-of-control student's behavior long before you felt the need to take a stand. It always worries me when students are essentially incapable of failing an exam. A belt isn't something you grow into. It is a mark of achievement, but also a responsibility. There's a little bit of this syndrome at my dojo, but the one thing I will say for my sensei is he just won't let people test until they are at least close to ready.

I will add to this that is difficult to run a dojo as a business in american society. Very few people are training for the right reasons, and there is a sense of entitlement "I deserve to be a blue belt" simply because they show up and pay. As a chief instructor you are walking a fine line - go too easy and you're running a daycare. Make it too tough and you won't have a dojo any more.

This whole business of people feeling nervous sparring against you is bollocks. I know pretty much everyone where I train feels nervous sparring me, and I have never injured anyone in my entire martial arts career. Some are intimidated simply because the appearance of my size. Others because of my skill. But regardless my sensei has never had anything but encouragement for me, and the people who spar against me. Whenever anyone appears apprehensive he's the first one to give them a reassuring word... or simply laugh them (whichever is appropriate). But he understands people have to leave their comfort zone in order to grow.

It just seems to me that your sensei doesn't have control over his dojo. He doesn't control the students, or create the right atmosphere to instill the very things that are the essence of martial arts - discipline, respect and a thirst for knowledge. Might be time to grab the other good instructor and run. Open your own studio somewhere smile
Logged
rshetts2
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2420



View Profile
« Reply #82 on: April 24, 2010, 08:17:50 PM »

I have tp agree with Crux.  The sensai seems to have no real control here.  It also seems like he has no real plan or clear focus of his goals for the dojo.  Im sort of wondering if the whole "other students fear sparring you" thing is more a way of him trying to re-establish control over you than anything else.  If you are that good and havent injured anyone it would seem people who want to advance their skills would want to spar a superior opponent. That is how you learn.  Its obvious you have some soul searching to do on this matter.  Understand though, even if you choose to move on your actions to remove the bullying student has probably save others at the dojo from further injury.  That is not a bad thing.
Logged

Can you see the real me? Can ya, CAN YA?
Sparhawk
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1834



View Profile
« Reply #83 on: April 24, 2010, 09:35:15 PM »

I'll make it real simple.

Your sensai is allowing a man who injures students without remorse to stay at the dojo.
Look at your eye. Broken ribs? Who's to say the bad apple won't "accidentally" break someone's neck?
Sadly, your sensai has no heart and will not run his dojo. Are you sure the man even cares about martial arts?

Leave, Ron.

I'm really worried that you might be in danger hanging around those people.
Logged

PSN: Kal_Torok
Xbox Live: Sparhawk GT
ATB
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 15468


Thanks for everything, Ryan. 1979-2013


View Profile
« Reply #84 on: April 24, 2010, 09:49:07 PM »

Let me just say, Ron, you always have and continue to ooze class.  You're a stand up guy in all matters from what I can tell and that dojo should be honored to have you. 

Perhaps now's the time to find a place that appreciates you and your character.

Are there financial issues involved?
Logged
rickfc
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5651


Why so serious?


View Profile
« Reply #85 on: April 25, 2010, 06:06:31 PM »

Quote from: SensuousLettuce on April 24, 2010, 09:49:07 PM

Let me just say, Ron, you always have and continue to ooze class.  You're a stand up guy in all matters from what I can tell and that dojo should be honored to have you. 

Perhaps now's the time to find a place that appreciates you and your character.


I have to agree with SL 100% here, Ron. 
Logged
shaggydoug
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 411



View Profile WWW
« Reply #86 on: April 26, 2010, 02:37:46 AM »

Ron,

I'm a colored belt in TKD.  I'm curious about the "no one has failed" comment. Has no one "failed" because they haven't been allowed to test unless they were ready?  Or, does everyone test and they basically just pass everybody?  The former is the way my dojang (Korean term) runs things. They don't have anyone try to pass the tests in front of everybody if they know they aren't ready. Saves embarrassment all around. I have heard of a few failures at the black belt test.  The reasons I've heard for those failures are not from not knowing the curriculum but instead a lack of "black belt attitude" demonstrated at the test.

And speaking from a student's perspective, I would feel nervous sparring against you as well. Not from a "I might get hurt" perspective but more from a "I might get pwned" perspective.  I get the impression you are pretty darn good from other posts made on this board (not necessarily by you...but you can tell if someone knows what they are doing by the way they talk/write a lot of times).

- shaggy
Logged

Azhag
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1838


View Profile
« Reply #87 on: April 26, 2010, 03:20:52 AM »

In our TKD place they don't let people test unless they think they are ready (have to show the Master or instructors the curriculum again the same week as the test), but for kids especially there is some leeway... that said, people do fail (not often, but not unusual to have one or two fail at a testing day), sometimes from curriculum if they really can't pull together their forms or combos, but most often it is failing their break at the test.
Logged
Einsteinium
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 523



View Profile
« Reply #88 on: April 26, 2010, 05:24:14 AM »

When we spar, it is supposed to be a game of "tag". Very little contact. The pace is dictated by the higher rank, who is supposed to spar at 2-3 levels above the student's rank. The intensity (i.e. how hard you land each hit) is set by the lower rank, who will then be hit as hard by the higher rank. The high rank has the responsibility of letting the lower rank know if something is wrong.

I have had some pretty good sparring sessions, but all of them have been with 6 different black belts, all above 3rd Dan. Sadly, I can pretty much destroy at will anyone and everyone else. Even more sadly, that's not me bragging about my skills, it's more a statement of the lack of skill all the way up.  It does get frustrating, as now I have reached brown belt, and so I don't really get any more direct instruction, except for the few moments that one of the black belts can pull me aside to show me something new.

As for the promotion tests, with the latest round of requirements that have dropped, I could test into 1st Dan (at my 3rd Kyu review). Once again, not a testament to my greatness, as much as a sad state of affairs for requirements. I've trained in multiple styles, and though I have 4 really excellent black belts holding me to a higher standard (Ron being one of them), the sensei/owner is not one of them. It cheapens the meaning of the rank when I work as hard as I can to achieve it, and someone with less discipline, knowledge, and execution moves up with me.

Example: I was pulled aside by one of the senior black belts, and was told to work on koko shuto - Tiger's Mouth strike. It is a strike to the throat that pinches in on the throat, and pulls back. To do this safely, it requires a lot of training and precision. I was shown a technique for building this, and told to work on it in my own time. I did this almost every day for a year, and finally got to use it at this last review: On Sensei Ron, as fate would have it. I landed it well, with no impact beyond touch, and I was chastised by the same instructor for being reckless.

Logged
raydude
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1507


SPICE! Nomnomnomnom


View Profile
« Reply #89 on: April 26, 2010, 03:27:11 PM »

Quote from: shaggydoug on April 26, 2010, 02:37:46 AM


And speaking from a student's perspective, I would feel nervous sparring against you as well. Not from a "I might get hurt" perspective but more from a "I might get pwned" perspective.  I get the impression you are pretty darn good from other posts made on this board (not necessarily by you...but you can tell if someone knows what they are doing by the way they talk/write a lot of times).

- shaggy


I demonstrated at the swordfest event held at our dojo this past Saturday. While I do not do empty-handed arts I would like to share some words expressed by one of the sensei who also demonstrated at swordfest. As best I can remember it:

In kata there are two sides, the uchidachi and the shidachi. The uchidachi side, aka the attacker, or "bad guy" is usually taken by the senior student or the instructor. The shidachi side, aka receiving side or "good guy" usually "wins". In other words, the teacher loses to the student in order to raise the student up, teach him proper technique, and instill confidence in his practice. In recent years there has been a reversal of sorts. The teacher beats up the student. This is not good. There is no teaching of technique and no transfer of knowledge.

From reading Einsteinium's post I would infer that both he and Knightshade Dragon take this to heart, even when sparring. There is nothing gained by the senior or junior if the only thing being done is pummeling the junior side into submission. But the exercise of control on the senior's part; going at just above the level of the junior student, that IMHO is how sparring should be done. And it looks to me like that is how Einsteinium and KD do it.
Logged

A Pew Research Center poll found nearly half of Americans hold the false belief that TARP was passed under President Obama, while only 34 percent know it originated under Bush.
"Oh yeah?" Bush replied. "50% of the people were wrong."
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18545



View Profile WWW
« Reply #90 on: April 26, 2010, 05:11:07 PM »

Ron, I'd just echo the "me too" under SS's post, but there is something wrong here - you already recognize that what this guy is doing is a bastardization of the fundamental training of discipline - you know the right answer and only because of one instructor you are willing to compromise it.

Your very summary line on page one indicates you know you should leave. How has this changed?

You are better than that lot- we all know it. If you wish to train with the one instructor, perhaps he can learn from you in standing up for what's right and move dojos. Perhaps meeting informally may help instead - I don't see how this training is helping you mentally - swinging fists can be done anywhere.

As for intimidating - I've met you, and I have nothing but respect for you. Fear? Not really... I fear those who have less power, and even less restraint.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2010, 05:14:09 PM by Purge » Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Crux
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1541



View Profile
« Reply #91 on: April 26, 2010, 05:43:16 PM »

Quote from: raydude on April 26, 2010, 03:27:11 PM


I demonstrated at the swordfest event held at our dojo this past Saturday. While I do not do empty-handed arts I would like to share some words expressed by one of the sensei who also demonstrated at swordfest. As best I can remember it:

In kata there are two sides, the uchidachi and the shidachi. The uchidachi side, aka the attacker, or "bad guy" is usually taken by the senior student or the instructor. The shidachi side, aka receiving side or "good guy" usually "wins". In other words, the teacher loses to the student in order to raise the student up, teach him proper technique, and instill confidence in his practice. In recent years there has been a reversal of sorts. The teacher beats up the student. This is not good. There is no teaching of technique and no transfer of knowledge.

From reading Einsteinium's post I would infer that both he and Knightshade Dragon take this to heart, even when sparring. There is nothing gained by the senior or junior if the only thing being done is pummeling the junior side into submission. But the exercise of control on the senior's part; going at just above the level of the junior student, that IMHO is how sparring should be done. And it looks to me like that is how Einsteinium and KD do it.


One of the big problems is for a lot of people sparring is an exercise in ego, not training. It becomes an "I'm better than you and I want to stay that way and show everyone" exercise. And that is exactly what martial arts is not about. That's one of the reasons the chief instructor at my dojo doesn't hesitate to put anyone against me in sparring. Because he knows I am there to share my knowledge, and hopefully learn something in return. The funny thing is people come in to spar me, and they start cowering from the moment the start is called because they've seen me kicking the bag and are afraid of getting hurt. Ironically, I spend half the time not actually sparring. Instead I stop the fight if I see a problem, and walk them through some techniques and combinations, and then let them practice them slowly against a live target. Meanwhile all around them the smaller lesser skilled people they aren't afraid of are hitting each other far harder than I would ever hit them in training biggrin They have less to fear from me than some 95 lb green belt, because my objective is very different from the green belts. I have nothing to prove to anyone, and don't need to show people how good I am. I will stand there and let 8 year old yellow belts kick me in the stomach to help them get over the fear of sparring people bigger than them. Because I am an instructor and that's the responsibility of holding a black belt (or any belt for that matter).

The thing of it is, the people who try to protect their advantage, and use it to lord over everyone not as good as them are the ones who don't grow. When I take a promising brown belt and show him how to defend against my best sparring combination, it forces me to learn too. I have to come up with something better and different in order to beat him now. By sharing my knowledge and helping him to grow, I grow too.
Logged
addzo
Welcome to Gaming Trend

Offline Offline

Posts: 8


View Profile
« Reply #92 on: April 26, 2010, 07:33:13 PM »

I'm nowhere near as advanced as you but I've studied different disciplines over the years and I’ve seen this a few times.  Seems like when there is a long time “threat” figure and a “Friday Night Fight Club” type of class it’s a sign that the dojo is trying to play the art and the aggressive sides against each other to make money.  Always better to decide which you like and go somewhere else instead of staying I think.  A dojo divided like that can’t be good for anyone. 
Hope you heal up and can find a better place to practice.
Logged
ATB
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 15468


Thanks for everything, Ryan. 1979-2013


View Profile
« Reply #93 on: April 26, 2010, 08:23:35 PM »

KD has gone dark.

We can only assume that he has been silenced.

I will pour out a 40 for him this evening.
Logged
Einsteinium
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 523



View Profile
« Reply #94 on: April 26, 2010, 09:27:50 PM »

Quote from: SensuousLettuce on April 26, 2010, 08:23:35 PM

KD has gone dark.

We can only assume that he has been silenced.

I will pour out a 40 for him this evening.

Spoiler for Hiden:

The one situation he never trained for.....

He will be missed.
Logged
Knightshade Dragon
Administrator
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 21061



View Profile WWW
« Reply #95 on: April 28, 2010, 10:50:25 PM »

I'm still trying to figure some stuff out.  I'll reply this weekend when I can get a bit more perspective. 

Cool?
Logged

Ron Burke
EiC, Director of Gaming Trend
Gamertag:
Gaming Trend
PS3 Tag: GamingTrend
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #96 on: May 01, 2010, 04:50:12 AM »

Quote from: Einsteinium on April 22, 2010, 05:44:12 AM

Yes, That is me from a few years ago. For scale purposes, I am 6'2", and the bear is up about 4 inches on the floor. Apparently the General Manager's father shot that bear (From field work in Boise, ID) and that is in the office, in plain view of the customers. The GM actually caught me taking this picture in the hallway. My only plausible defense was to say "How could I not take a picture of me fighting with the bear?"

I'd just like to take a moment to congratulate you on officially making it to the big times on the boards.

I'll let you figure out what I'm talking about on your own.

 icon_twisted
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Einsteinium
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 523



View Profile
« Reply #97 on: May 01, 2010, 06:25:57 AM »

Quote from: CeeKay on May 01, 2010, 04:50:12 AM

Quote from: Einsteinium on April 22, 2010, 05:44:12 AM

Yes, That is me from a few years ago. For scale purposes, I am 6'2", and the bear is up about 4 inches on the floor. Apparently the General Manager's father shot that bear (From field work in Boise, ID) and that is in the office, in plain view of the customers. The GM actually caught me taking this picture in the hallway. My only plausible defense was to say "How could I not take a picture of me fighting with the bear?"

I'd just like to take a moment to congratulate you on officially making it to the big times on the boards.

I'll let you figure out what I'm talking about on your own.

 icon_twisted

Does that involve me pointing out where uncle CK touched me on the little doll? Because I've already done that. Otherwise, I'm confused.
Logged
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #98 on: May 01, 2010, 03:57:29 PM »

Quote from: Einsteinium on May 01, 2010, 06:25:57 AM

Quote from: CeeKay on May 01, 2010, 04:50:12 AM

Quote from: Einsteinium on April 22, 2010, 05:44:12 AM

Yes, That is me from a few years ago. For scale purposes, I am 6'2", and the bear is up about 4 inches on the floor. Apparently the General Manager's father shot that bear (From field work in Boise, ID) and that is in the office, in plain view of the customers. The GM actually caught me taking this picture in the hallway. My only plausible defense was to say "How could I not take a picture of me fighting with the bear?"

I'd just like to take a moment to congratulate you on officially making it to the big times on the boards.

I'll let you figure out what I'm talking about on your own.

 icon_twisted

Does that involve me pointing out where uncle CK touched me on the little doll? Because I've already done that. Otherwise, I'm confused.

naw, everyone gets to do that so it's not a big deal anymore, but not everyone gets this notoriety  icon_wink
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Einsteinium
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 523



View Profile
« Reply #99 on: May 05, 2010, 05:52:16 PM »

Ahh. If you wanted a picture of me attacking a live bear, you should have asked. It has become a new hobby of mine smile

J/K. Pretty cool.
Logged
Einsteinium
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 523



View Profile
« Reply #100 on: September 23, 2010, 05:25:13 AM »

It seems appropriate to resurrect this thread one more time. I was debating this, but I need to get something written out, as it weighs heavily on my mind.

Essentially, KD was trying to take the high road. The 5th Dan came back, violating the agreement the school's sensei made to keep him out of regular class. He bowed off the mat, and has since been told to find a new school. I basically made the same agreement with our sensei, and so today I told him to cancel my membership, I won't be coming back.

I've trained in martial arts on and off for the past 15 years, in multiple styles. I reached 3rd kyu and was looking forward to finally staying in a style long enough to reach black belt. More of a personal goal to dedicate some attention in one direction for a while. The gall bladder issues have sidelined me for the past year, and I was looking forward to heading back to training in October.

Everything feels shitty right now. I feel bad for KD, because he was forced out under really intolerable circumstances. I feel bad for the direction of the school, and my complacency in giving the sensei several chances to prove he would not keep his word. It feels shitty to leave because I'm itching to go train again.

But, on the other hand, I've had some experiences at this dojo that sour me to going back. So in another sense, I'm glad it's over and done with now.
Logged
Jimmy the Fish
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1329


View Profile
« Reply #101 on: September 23, 2010, 07:03:12 AM »

I just read this thread for the first time. I don't think you or KD should feel bad for leaving. That's completely ludicrous under the circumstances. The bottom line is that both of you gave the sensei reasonable opportunities to resolve the problems equitably, and he failed-- several times to boot. It's obvious that he is way too buddy-buddy with the 5th dan, that nothing will ever be done about the guy. Not only is he letting the two of you down, he is letting the entire dojo and its members down. They've bastardized the whole concept of what martial arts should be. That's no one else's fault but their own. Simply, if their philosophy and actions don't jive with yours, then you need to do the right thing based on your values, walk away and go find a dojo that is more in line with what you believe is the right way. Yeah, you and KD have a history there and it's tough to ignore that, but the history is just that--history. You have to do what you feel is right for you right now and in the future.

You and KD did the right thing.
Logged
GGIronSkull
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 38

Up the Irons!


View Profile
« Reply #102 on: September 23, 2010, 03:16:22 PM »

Hi,  I'm Larry....this is my brother Dan...and this is my other brother Dan...

Sorry.  For whatever reason, I read 3rd Dan....5th Dan...and that popped in my head.  I think my brain is on spin cycle.
Logged

Computer-A-Thon:   C.A.T.

3 days of sleep deprivation, Thai Food, and trash talking, all centered around making the network gods smile upon us so that we may smoke, frag, hack, kerplode, and otherwise beat upon your friends in a basement in Idaho.
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #103 on: September 23, 2010, 03:18:51 PM »

Quote from: GGIronSkull on September 23, 2010, 03:16:22 PM

Hi,  I'm Larry....this is my brother Dan...and this is my other brother Dan...

Sorry.  For whatever reason, I read 3rd Dan....5th Dan...and that popped in my head.  I think my brain is on spin cycle.

Einsteinium fought a bear named Dan once.


Once.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
envy24
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 672



View Profile
« Reply #104 on: September 23, 2010, 03:29:28 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on September 23, 2010, 03:18:51 PM

Quote from: GGIronSkull on September 23, 2010, 03:16:22 PM

Hi,  I'm Larry....this is my brother Dan...and this is my other brother Dan...

Sorry.  For whatever reason, I read 3rd Dan....5th Dan...and that popped in my head.  I think my brain is on spin cycle.

Einsteinium fought a bear named Dan once.


Once.

Nice Johnny Dangerously reference there.
Logged
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #105 on: September 23, 2010, 03:32:53 PM »

Quote from: envy24 on September 23, 2010, 03:29:28 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on September 23, 2010, 03:18:51 PM

Quote from: GGIronSkull on September 23, 2010, 03:16:22 PM

Hi,  I'm Larry....this is my brother Dan...and this is my other brother Dan...

Sorry.  For whatever reason, I read 3rd Dan....5th Dan...and that popped in my head.  I think my brain is on spin cycle.

Einsteinium fought a bear named Dan once.


Once.

Nice Johnny Dangerously reference there.

no, it was Johnny Dangerously  icon_wink
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
envy24
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 672



View Profile
« Reply #106 on: September 23, 2010, 03:33:54 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on September 23, 2010, 03:32:53 PM

Quote from: envy24 on September 23, 2010, 03:29:28 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on September 23, 2010, 03:18:51 PM

Quote from: GGIronSkull on September 23, 2010, 03:16:22 PM

Hi,  I'm Larry....this is my brother Dan...and this is my other brother Dan...

Sorry.  For whatever reason, I read 3rd Dan....5th Dan...and that popped in my head.  I think my brain is on spin cycle.

Einsteinium fought a bear named Dan once.


Once.

Nice Johnny Dangerously reference there.

no, it was Johnny Dangerously  icon_wink

heh  icon_biggrin
Logged
Crux
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1541



View Profile
« Reply #107 on: September 23, 2010, 10:43:41 PM »

You did the right thing. That was a horrible situation, and your former sensei should be ashamed of himself.
Logged
Knightshade Dragon
Administrator
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 21061



View Profile WWW
« Reply #108 on: October 01, 2010, 03:42:38 PM »

So I've been really REALLY low about all of this and it's really gnawed at me for the last week.  I've went over it in my head thousands of times trying to figure out where this all went so goddamned sideways.  I've had a few sleepless nights and some pretty angry moments in the last week.  I've sacrificed so much time and energy for that school, giving up my weekends to code their website, giving up my weekends to run their tournaments, teaching classes, staying late and coming in early to help students, and all my former instructor could see was that I was trying to 'take over' his school.  What it really comes down to is this - I have very high standards and he has none.  It was a pipe bomb just waiting to go off.  My only regret is that there is an instructor and his son at this school that have taught me so very much and truly appreciated me as a martial artist, wanting me to grow and advance.  My chance to train with him is gone at this point.  He was one of the best instructors I've ever known and I will miss him more than I could express to him when I said goodbye.   crybaby

Over the last few days I've pretty much mourned the situation.  Denial, Anger, bargaining (I had thought about asking to just train in the advanced class until Ty tested for his black belt in a few months, and then leaving quietly), grief (I did have some friends there), depression (self reflecting, trying to figure out how I could have made this work), and now finally acceptance.  I accept that I did nothing wrong - I upheld my principals.  I did what I promised.  He dishonored himself, he broke his word, and he tried to lay the blame at my feet.  He wonders why his school is starting to fail - he doesn't have to look far to find that answer. 

I did find some fantastic therapy last night.  I had an appointment in Scottsdale last night and I spotted a MASSIVE martial arts school nearby.  Since my appointment got out right at rush hour, my wife and I popped in and watched the tail end of one class and about half of another.  This instructor had complete control of his students.  The first class, a kids class (think 5-10 year olds), were doing a bit of sparring.  They were all taking it very seriously, and any time the instructor spoke, the kids would stop and listen.  Even mid-sparring he would say "Ma'am - you just took two shots to the chest - if you weren't wearing chest pads and he wasn't wearing feet pads I'm not sure you could have taken that" and ever kid stopped, listened, said "Yes Sensei" and then almost simultaneously all pulled their guard in a bit tighter.  He had perfect control of this class and he did it with a smile.  The trend continued when the brown belt class took the mat next.  They were working Kata, and all of them looked almost exactly the same.  They progressed to knife defense and I saw a few students that I believe could actually defend themselves if push came to stab.  It was refreshing to see.  I have had my feet so mired in the mud for so long that I'd long forgotten how it could be - how it SHOULD be.  While the style isn't overly compatible with mine, I'm going to write the instructor and pay my compliments - he's clearly earned it. 

All in all, I'm done with all of this.  I've got lines into a few schools and I'm talking with other instructors.  Who knows what the future will hold in terms of my training, but I feel like this is exactly what I needed.  It's not the way I'd like for it to happen, but a week and so many days later, I'm actually glad it happened.   ninja2
Logged

Ron Burke
EiC, Director of Gaming Trend
Gamertag:
Gaming Trend
PS3 Tag: GamingTrend
rickfc
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5651


Why so serious?


View Profile
« Reply #109 on: October 01, 2010, 04:24:37 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on October 01, 2010, 03:42:38 PM

So I've been really REALLY low about all of this and it's really gnawed at me for the last week.  I've went over it in my head thousands of times trying to figure out where this all went so goddamned sideways.  I've had a few sleepless nights and some pretty angry moments in the last week.  I've sacrificed so much time and energy for that school, giving up my weekends to code their website, giving up my weekends to run their tournaments, teaching classes, staying late and coming in early to help students, and all my former instructor could see was that I was trying to 'take over' his school.  What it really comes down to is this - I have very high standards and he has none.  It was a pipe bomb just waiting to go off.  My only regret is that there is an instructor and his son at this school that have taught me so very much and truly appreciated me as a martial artist, wanting me to grow and advance.  My chance to train with him is gone at this point.  He was one of the best instructors I've ever known and I will miss him more than I could express to him when I said goodbye.   crybaby

Over the last few days I've pretty much mourned the situation.  Denial, Anger, bargaining (I had thought about asking to just train in the advanced class until Ty tested for his black belt in a few months, and then leaving quietly), grief (I did have some friends there), depression (self reflecting, trying to figure out how I could have made this work), and now finally acceptance.  I accept that I did nothing wrong - I upheld my principals.  I did what I promised.  He dishonored himself, he broke his word, and he tried to lay the blame at my feet.  He wonders why his school is starting to fail - he doesn't have to look far to find that answer. 

I did find some fantastic therapy last night.  I had an appointment in Scottsdale last night and I spotted a MASSIVE martial arts school nearby.  Since my appointment got out right at rush hour, my wife and I popped in and watched the tail end of one class and about half of another.  This instructor had complete control of his students.  The first class, a kids class (think 5-10 year olds), were doing a bit of sparring.  They were all taking it very seriously, and any time the instructor spoke, the kids would stop and listen.  Even mid-sparring he would say "Ma'am - you just took two shots to the chest - if you weren't wearing chest pads and he wasn't wearing feet pads I'm not sure you could have taken that" and ever kid stopped, listened, said "Yes Sensei" and then almost simultaneously all pulled their guard in a bit tighter.  He had perfect control of this class and he did it with a smile.  The trend continued when the brown belt class took the mat next.  They were working Kata, and all of them looked almost exactly the same.  They progressed to knife defense and I saw a few students that I believe could actually defend themselves if push came to stab.  It was refreshing to see.  I have had my feet so mired in the mud for so long that I'd long forgotten how it could be - how it SHOULD be.  While the style isn't overly compatible with mine, I'm going to write the instructor and pay my compliments - he's clearly earned it. 

All in all, I'm done with all of this.  I've got lines into a few schools and I'm talking with other instructors.  Who knows what the future will hold in terms of my training, but I feel like this is exactly what I needed.  It's not the way I'd like for it to happen, but a week and so many days later, I'm actually glad it happened.   ninja2

thumbsup
Logged
Pages: 1 2 [3]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.195 seconds with 83 queries. (Pretty URLs adds 0.034s, 2q)