http://gamingtrend.com
October 31, 2014, 06:33:49 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I need a very loud, wirelessly operated, work-related device  (Read 881 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« on: March 08, 2012, 03:13:27 PM »

My cube is near a conference room.  I'm tired of politely asking people to close the door so their conversations, bad jokes, bad anecdotes, and volume up to 11 speakerphone conversations don't bore their way through my skull.  I'm also tired of impolitely asking people.

It's time to fight back.  There is a shelf right next to the conference room door on which I could place some kind of really loud, obnoxious electronic device.  My leading idea is to find a circa 1980s dot matrix printer on ebay.  Door left open?  Printer starts printing.  Door closes; I turn off printer.  People need to be able to pass through the walkway between me and the shelf, though so we'll have to use proton torpedoes so we'll have to be able to trigger it wirelessly and avoid making a trip cord.

Are there modern day dot matrix printers that can be wirelessly triggered?  A way to jury rig an old one?

Anything else loud come to mind?  I need to keep up the pretense that the loud obnoxiousness is necessary and work-related, so I can't just stick a bagpipist on the shelf and call it a day.  With the dot matrix printer, I was thinking I could have some TPS report-looking-things at the ready.
Logged
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2012, 03:32:39 PM »

A 14.4 modem would also do. Especially if you set some of its codes to time out too quick so it keeps redialing and reinitializing. Oooo, to a FAX machine!
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3427



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2012, 04:09:33 PM »

How about shredder? That could do it.
Logged
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2012, 04:12:28 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on March 08, 2012, 04:09:33 PM

How about shredder? That could do it.

Ooh, that would've been perfect if we didn't have a clear company-wide policy to use giant communal shred bins.
Logged
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 04:25:35 PM »

Set up a fax machine, override its codes so that its handshake is external. Then get a cell phone hooked up to it and dial in. biggrin

Or, set up a speaker in the room with the mic outside. Whenever they get too loud, they create their own feedback loop.
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Kagath
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2487


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2012, 04:31:55 PM »

Wireless fart noise maker. Turn it up and hide it in the conference room.
Logged

Playing: ? 360 | ? | BF4 PC / XB1 | ? - WINGS *are* shit lately.
PSN/Live: MrStark77
Jag
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2379



View Profile
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2012, 04:32:21 PM »

Fax machine is a good idea. What about a massive, loud fan.

You could also put your own speakerphone on max. I can PM you my number if you want me to yell business related tidbits over the phone biggrin

"I SAID THE TOMPKINS ACCOUNT NEEDS SOME ADDITIONAL WORK!!"

Another idea is to see if your company would install a door closing device on the door of the conference room so the door closes on its own.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2012, 04:34:19 PM by Jag » Logged
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2012, 04:39:09 PM »

Quote from: Jag on March 08, 2012, 04:32:21 PM

Another idea is to see if your company would install a door closing device on the door of the conference room so the door closes on its own.

I did actually pursue that avenue to no avail.  Getting petty is the only option left.
Logged
hepcat
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 9269


I'M the one that knocks! Now...burp me!


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2012, 04:53:40 PM »

Quote from: Jag on March 08, 2012, 04:32:21 PM


Another idea is to see if your company would install a door closing device on the door of the conference room so the door closes on its own.

They did...it's called a Wonderpug.
Logged

Warning:  You will see my penis. -Brian

Just remember: once a user figures out gluten noting them they're allowed to make fun of you. - Ceekay speaking in tongues.
rshetts2
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2420



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2012, 04:54:52 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on March 08, 2012, 04:39:09 PM

Quote from: Jag on March 08, 2012, 04:32:21 PM

Another idea is to see if your company would install a door closing device on the door of the conference room so the door closes on its own.

Getting Petty is the only option left.

Brilliant.  Get Tom Petty to let it rip.  You wont even need wireless, he can just start wailing American Girl at the appropriate time.
Logged

Can you see the real me? Can ya, CAN YA?
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2012, 05:08:58 PM »

He'll get as far as "...and America too...." in Free Fallin', and that door will be closed.
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Harkonis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 9822



View Profile
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2012, 05:10:21 PM »

I like the idea of just playing Tom Petty songs really loudly whenever they leave it open.  This leaves you open to say you were just being Petty.

You can program floppy drives to play them so it seems more work related...
Logged
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3427



View Profile
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2012, 05:12:15 PM »

Tom Petty.  icon_lol
Logged
TK-421
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2504



View Profile
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2012, 05:14:36 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on March 08, 2012, 04:09:33 PM

How about shredder? That could do it.

I could definitely use the work.

Logged

Open the blast doors!  Open the blast doors!
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2012, 05:15:55 PM »

Quote from: TK-421 on March 08, 2012, 05:14:36 PM

Quote from: PR_GMR on March 08, 2012, 04:09:33 PM

How about shredder? That could do it.

I could definitely use the work.



You keep telling the Turtles that they'll pay, but you never follow through. Get a job, ya bum.
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Isgrimnur
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 8878



View Profile
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2012, 05:33:21 PM »

Or at least hire an Accounts Receivable company.
Logged

Hadron Smasher on 360; IsgrimnurTTU on PS3
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2012, 06:00:31 PM »

just get some friends and start doing this in front of the door:

Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
WorkingMike
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 351


View Profile
« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2012, 11:23:01 PM »

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-98C52-Annoy-a-tron/dp/B0013JCSKC

not remote triggered, and would probably annoy the shit out of you as well, but it's pretty good for driving friends and/or colleagues nuts
Logged
rittchard
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 4019


View Profile
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2012, 01:28:58 AM »

I've been told I'm very loud, so put me on speakerphone while we play a game of Hero Academy and I can be super obnoxious and drive people insane.  I'll even use my super gay voice if it becomes necessary.

"Die, Britney!!!"

"Oh no you di'nt, sailor boy!"

"I'm gonna kill your spear chick!"

"That's not a spear in my pocket, sweetie!"

(door closes)
Logged
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2012, 02:39:43 AM »

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Micro-Sonic-Grenade/dp/B004QZ181U/ref=pd_sim_t_6/187-3528504-2252367
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Caine
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 10304


My cocaine


View Profile WWW
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2012, 04:33:57 AM »

Are you any good with duct tape?  Can you get access to some flexible tubing?  How far away is this room from the nearest men's restroom?

* this may be against the Geneva convention. 
Logged

Kagath
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2487


View Profile
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2012, 05:07:20 AM »

http://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Assets-Novelties-LLC-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=pd_sim_t_2

Depending on how close this is to your desk. Just wander by to the watercooler each time they are starting to get loud and drip a drop somewhere.
Logged

Playing: ? 360 | ? | BF4 PC / XB1 | ? - WINGS *are* shit lately.
PSN/Live: MrStark77
Harkonis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 9822



View Profile
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2012, 01:25:10 PM »

99% of these suggestions are missing the 'appears as if it's a legitimate office requirement' aspect I think.
Logged
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2012, 02:46:36 PM »

You're missing the appear as legitimate office requirement aspect!
Logged
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 18584



View Profile WWW
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2012, 05:59:43 PM »

Fax machine.

Photo Copier.

Organ grinder (CeeKay variety).

Or you could start a conversation between two co-workers, and troll them so they start arguing loudly (as you slink away).

We call it "Timmy-Go-Boom!" in our office. We have one guy who's buttons are about this easy to push...

Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Kagath
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2487


View Profile
« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2012, 07:03:46 PM »

Quote from: Harkonis on March 09, 2012, 01:25:10 PM

99% of these suggestions are missing the 'appears as if it's a legitimate office requirement' aspect I think.
You aren't going to tell me people don't fart in the office. Cause that sure as hell isn't the case with any office I've visited. Buncha damn gas bags.
Logged

Playing: ? 360 | ? | BF4 PC / XB1 | ? - WINGS *are* shit lately.
PSN/Live: MrStark77
rittchard
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 4019


View Profile
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2012, 09:20:50 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on March 09, 2012, 02:46:36 PM

You're missing the appear as legitimate office requirement aspect!

I'm pretty sure playing Hero Academy with me appears as a legitimate office requirement.
Logged
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3427



View Profile
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2012, 09:25:32 PM »

Just call it a day and stand there, John-Cusack-style 'Say Anything' with a big ole boombox, everytime they start a conference with the door open.
Logged
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2012, 10:14:09 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on March 09, 2012, 09:25:32 PM

Just call it a day and stand there, John-Cusack-style 'Say Anything' with a big ole boombox, everytime they start a conference with the door open.

you have to be careful with the power of the boombox though.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Harkonis
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 9822



View Profile
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2012, 10:22:03 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on March 09, 2012, 02:46:36 PM

You're missing the appear as legitimate office requirement aspect!

I am not, but my suggestion certainly is
Logged
Montag
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 99


View Profile
« Reply #30 on: March 10, 2012, 12:40:28 AM »

I propose a white noise generator.  Our HR person has one and I really hate it.  She cranks it up at her open door.  Yes, an open door.  I wonder if I am damaging my hearing when I am near the thing.
Logged
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« Reply #31 on: March 10, 2012, 03:41:18 AM »

Quote from: Montag on March 10, 2012, 12:40:28 AM

I propose a white noise generator.  Our HR person has one and I really hate it.  She cranks it up at her open door.  Yes, an open door.  I wonder if I am damaging my hearing when I am near the thing.

Ooh.  This has the potential for some high grade passive aggressiveness.  "I'm sure you won't mind if I turn this on to help alleviate all the noise you're making."
Logged
pr0ner
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 5365


Go Flames go!


View Profile
« Reply #32 on: March 10, 2012, 04:05:09 AM »

Quote from: wonderpug on March 10, 2012, 03:41:18 AM

Quote from: Montag on March 10, 2012, 12:40:28 AM

I propose a white noise generator.  Our HR person has one and I really hate it.  She cranks it up at her open door.  Yes, an open door.  I wonder if I am damaging my hearing when I am near the thing.

Ooh.  This has the potential for some high grade passive aggressiveness.  "I'm sure you won't mind if I turn this on to help alleviate all the noise you're making."

 icon_lol icon_lol
Logged

XBox Live Gamertag: Pr0ner
morlac
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2779



View Profile
« Reply #33 on: March 10, 2012, 01:50:26 PM »

Just pick up your phone and have a fake, loud conversation with your Dr. about your as yet unidentified skin fungus.  Door will be shut in .2 seconds.

"Yes Dr., it's pussing again."

"Umm huh, I see."

"Is It contagious?"

"Hmmm, Oh my."

"Well i do really need to finish these TPC reports and my desk is unfortunately right next to the conference room but, yes I will keep contact down to a minimum"
« Last Edit: March 10, 2012, 01:52:42 PM by morlac » Logged

morlac00 on PSN
Harpua3
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2734


View Profile
« Reply #34 on: March 11, 2012, 07:27:26 AM »

Pretend you are a swinger and have lots of fake conversations on the phone about it. Wait, you might really just hear MORE things you really don't want to hear.. I'm sensing this plan could easily backfire..
Logged
Harpua3
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2734


View Profile
« Reply #35 on: March 11, 2012, 07:27:58 AM »

Or the Tom petty thing..slywink
Logged
Punisher
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 1743



View Profile
« Reply #36 on: March 12, 2012, 12:43:00 PM »

German Shepard... You can say that you are instituting new security protocals.....You can also train it to attack people on command and when they balk, just tell them that they must have smelt suspiciuous
Logged
wonderpug
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 11484


hmm...


View Profile
« Reply #37 on: March 12, 2012, 01:31:11 PM »

I've got Mass Effect on the mind enough that your post first made me think of Commander Shepard with a German accent.
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.161 seconds with 99 queries. (Pretty URLs adds 0.041s, 2q)