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Author Topic: How many pirates or zombies would it take to defeat a ninja?  (Read 1228 times)
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« on: May 07, 2007, 03:50:13 PM »

I'm trying to figure out how many pirates or zombies it would take to defeat a ninja.  Obviously one ninja vs. one pirate or one zombie would be no contest.  Ninja wins hands down.

But what if it were, say, three pirates or five zombies?  I think three pirates, armed with pistols and cutlasses could perhaps take down a ninja.  Five or six zombies, especially if they were the fast kind (from the remake of Dawn of the Dead), I think could swarm a ninja and dispose of him.

And then there's the matter of pirates vs. zombies.  I think one pirate could take out a zombie by himself but if it were two or three zombies then they'd give him a go, wouldn't they?

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« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 03:53:31 PM »

I dont' know that any quantity of zombies could take a ninja.  He would just zombie walk across them and leave the scene.

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« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2007, 03:54:48 PM »

I think a zombie pirate would defeat a zombie ninja.
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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2007, 03:57:52 PM »

Quote from: ATB on May 07, 2007, 03:53:31 PM

I dont' know that any quantity of zombies could take a ninja.  He would just zombie walk across them and leave the scene.

It would depend if it was outside or inside.  In a building I think five zombies could surround the ninja given the reduced maneuverability.
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« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2007, 03:58:22 PM »

We probably need to classify the zombies a bit.  Are these the black and white Dawn of the Dead zombies that could be outrun by an old person with a walker, or are these the 28 Days speedy zombies that'll eat your fleshy bits in a flash?
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« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2007, 04:18:23 PM »

This should have been one of the questions they answered in Mythbusters.
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« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2007, 04:19:55 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on May 07, 2007, 03:58:22 PM

We probably need to classify the zombies a bit.  Are these the black and white Dawn of the Dead zombies that could be outrun by an old person with a walker, or are these the 28 Days speedy zombies that'll eat your fleshy bits in a flash?
Our illustrious leader has a point.  Also, Romero himself has put a glimmer of independent thought into his zombies, which, while slow and stiff, makes them even more dangerous.  People bag on his new movie, but he DID make it.  I'm more scared of thinking zombies than fast ones.

A Romero-style pirate zombie would kill a ninja zombie.  Especially if he remembered how to fire a pistol.
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« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2007, 04:22:09 PM »

Quote from: wonderpug on May 07, 2007, 03:54:48 PM

I think a zombie pirate would defeat a zombie ninja.

Yeah, zombie ninja are pretty anti-climactic.  They lay down a smoke pellet, and after it clears you can easily see them shuffling out of the room.  It's also hard to hide in the shadows when you are moaning about fresh brains.

Now zombie samurai... those are pretty darn scary.
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« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2007, 04:22:55 PM »

Well, if we're talking about fast zombies, and given the ninja's ability to use an opponent's force against itself I'd have to say, indoors, a ninja could take 1 zombie per square foot of the room. At that point space becomes precious and the ninja would eventually be compressed by the carnage if nothing else.

edit: slightly less for fatter zombies assuming this takes place in USA
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« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2007, 04:23:48 PM »

So what kills zombies easier, slashing or thrusting?
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« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2007, 04:29:00 PM »

Quote from: warning on May 07, 2007, 03:57:52 PM

Quote from: ATB on May 07, 2007, 03:53:31 PM

I dont' know that any quantity of zombies could take a ninja.  He would just zombie walk across them and leave the scene.

It would depend if it was outside or inside.  In a building I think five zombies could surround the ninja given the reduced maneuverability.

Ninja have a sword or what?  No way 5 zombies take a ninja. Slicey Slicey slicey slicey slicey.  Down go your five zombies.
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« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2007, 04:39:44 PM »

Quote from: unbreakable on May 07, 2007, 04:23:48 PM

So what kills zombies easier, slashing or thrusting?
I'm gonna go with slashing, since the tried-and-true method of removing the head from the body always seems to work, no matter the mythos.
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« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2007, 06:55:59 PM »

The ninja would take down the zombies if he has a curved sword made for slashing.  If he doesn't have a sword, then he would fall to 3 or more zombies.  Punches and kicks wouldn't faze a zombie much.
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« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2007, 06:58:18 PM »

I dunno man; the movies have always portrayed ninja as capable, but that in and of itself is a myth. There has to be an average, and it isn't Ninja Gaiden.

Look at how many ninja HE kills. If your Zombies are Romero'esque, then I think there would be more ninja zombies than ninjas. They wouldn't have all the applicable skills, but they would inherit the increased agility and lethality that comes with a lifetime (and now an unlifetime) of experience and training.

Zombie pirates is just stupid. I mean, what, a bunch of fat teens with vast amounts of software and pornography? How is that threatening. Hell, in life the average modern pirate is almost a zombie already. They don't even make their own food; their mothers do it for them. Tongue
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« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2007, 07:35:48 PM »

1 ninja + 1 ninja sword = pwning 100s of zombies.

Now this assumption is based on that the zombies stagger in. I mean if you drop a ninja into the center of a zombie filled room, well, he may only get a couple of dozen.

However, if he's somewhere where the zombies have to trickle in or in the open where he has movement, no amount of zombies would defeat him.

As for zombie ninjas vs ninja, that's just preposterous.  Ever try to do flying sidekicks with rigor mortis?
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« Reply #15 on: May 07, 2007, 07:43:52 PM »

Also keep in mind that if the ninja isn't carrying a copy of Criminal Biology from Wonderland Plaza, his sword is going to break pretty quick after slicing up a few zombies.
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« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2007, 07:51:04 PM »

Quote from: ATB on May 07, 2007, 07:35:48 PM

However, if he's somewhere where the zombies have to trickle in or in the open where he has movement, no amount of zombies would defeat him.

Ah, the battle of Thermopylae tactic!  The guys who did 300 demonstrated battlefield superiority quite well.

Now, to apply that to the ever-zombie surrounded mall situation...they always end up in the mall.

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« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2007, 11:45:47 PM »

You need to use the passage from the food court to the bathrooms as your Thermopylae.  You can really never fit more than two people at a time through those hallways.
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« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2007, 12:03:49 AM »

It doesn't matter.

Whichever one wins will just get killed by one Cybernetic Vampire Ninja Werewolf Pirate Zombie.
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« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2007, 12:11:26 AM »

Quote from: Thin_J on May 08, 2007, 12:03:49 AM

It doesn't matter.

Whichever one wins will just get killed by one Cybernetic Vampire Ninja Werewolf Pirate Zombie.

Uwe Boll could make three movies out of that statement.
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« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2007, 02:42:37 AM »

Quote from: unbreakable on May 08, 2007, 12:11:26 AM

Quote from: Thin_J on May 08, 2007, 12:03:49 AM

It doesn't matter.

Whichever one wins will just get killed by one Cybernetic Vampire Ninja Werewolf Pirate Zombie.

Uwe Boll could make three movies out of that statement.

quick!! delete that statement before he... OH CRAP TOO LATE!!!!
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« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2007, 03:35:59 AM »

break you did he - now hes going to kick your ass in the boxing ring

and i dont know how many pirates - but i think a ninja could destroy hordes of zombies - sorry warning but i think 5 would be just a warm up
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« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2007, 03:44:15 PM »

Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot
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