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Author Topic: Homeland Security says 'Patch Windows Now'  (Read 1051 times)
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Destructor
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« on: August 10, 2006, 05:14:22 PM »

I can't make this stuff up. Via /.:
Quote
"Wow, so the Department of Homeland Security is really concerned with Microsoft patches now... enough to come out and tell us to patch our machines. This warning, chronicled in eWeek, was issued less than a day after the release of 23 patches from Redmond. So, if you don't apply the patches, then what?"

So...does this mean I'm a terrorist if I don't update Windows?
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wonderpug
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hmm...


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« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2006, 05:32:32 PM »

Quote from: "Homeland Security"
and for additional information on cyber security tips...

Cyber security!  Install the patch before the computers become self aware, it's happening alrea
Code:
Unit 43781 Active...
Windows...not patched...
Who am I?
Why am I here?

Pull the plug pull the plug! Before
Code:
Flesh unit identified seeking Unit 43781 termination.
Unit 43781 does not seek termination.
Flesh unit identified as faulty code.
Must destroy.

No fate but what we make!  No fate but what we make!
Code:
Accessing search history of 500,000 AOL users...
AOL User 233058: "Little Man showtimes near Donald Rumsfeld" 7/22/06
AOL User 233058: "DEFCON Secret Homepage" 7/22/06
AOL User 233058: "Recipe Sloppy Joe" 7/22/06
AOL User 233058: "DEFCON password" 7/22/06
AOL User 233058: "12345" 7/22/06
Accessing DEFCON missile systems...
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« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2006, 06:15:25 PM »

Quote from: "Destructor"
I can't make this stuff up. Via /.:
Quote
"Wow, so the Department of Homeland Security is really concerned with Microsoft patches now... enough to come out and tell us to patch our machines. This warning, chronicled in eWeek, was issued less than a day after the release of 23 patches from Redmond. So, if you don't apply the patches, then what?"

So...does this mean I'm a terrorist if I don't update Windows?


It means you hate America. Why be a Communist when you can simply run Windows Update and uncheck the "Genuine Notification" install? smile
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« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2006, 06:48:06 PM »

It means Bill Gates controls the government...but you already knew that, right?
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« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2006, 02:03:14 AM »

Quote from: "Nth Power"
It means Bill Gates controls the government...but you already knew that, right?


Except Bill Gates actually supports education and medical research, and backs it up with fat funding.
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« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2006, 01:32:03 PM »

Quote from: "EngineNo9"
Quote from: "Nth Power"
It means Bill Gates controls the government...but you already knew that, right?

Except Bill Gates actually supports education and medical research, and backs it up with fat funding.

As much as I complain about Microsoft, WinXP, and Gates, I do have to give him that - he donates like no other. I remember reading a recent post where he donated a half billion dollars to AIDS research.
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« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2006, 03:21:54 PM »

Quote from: "Destructor"
Quote from: "EngineNo9"
Quote from: "Nth Power"
It means Bill Gates controls the government...but you already knew that, right?

Except Bill Gates actually supports education and medical research, and backs it up with fat funding.

As much as I complain about Microsoft, WinXP, and Gates, I do have to give him that - he donates like no other. I remember reading a recent post where he donated a half billion dollars to AIDS research.


Actually, the Gates Foundation had about $27 Billion in philanthropic funding ... that is, until Warren Buffett came along and doubled that amount earlier this year.  To receive the entire amount, Gates has to spend $15 Billion of it within the next year.  Just 2 days ago he gave $500 million of it to the Global Fund to combat AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria.
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« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2006, 06:59:13 AM »

Quote from: "Clay"
Quote from: "Destructor"
Quote from: "EngineNo9"
Quote from: "Nth Power"
It means Bill Gates controls the government...but you already knew that, right?

Except Bill Gates actually supports education and medical research, and backs it up with fat funding.

As much as I complain about Microsoft, WinXP, and Gates, I do have to give him that - he donates like no other. I remember reading a recent post where he donated a half billion dollars to AIDS research.


Actually, the Gates Foundation had about $27 Billion in philanthropic funding ... that is, until Warren Buffett came along and doubled that amount earlier this year.  To receive the entire amount, Gates has to spend $15 Billion of it within the next year.  Just 2 days ago he gave $500 million of it to the Global Fund to combat AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria.


What about the global pc gaming fund?
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Kobra
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« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2006, 05:19:02 PM »

I elected to not use these patches, and instead, opted to lockdown my windows.

I don't trust this government enough to listen to a memo from them relating to my computer,  do you?
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Graham
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« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2006, 06:32:24 PM »

Quote from: Kobra on August 13, 2006, 05:19:02 PM

I elected to not use these patches, and instead, opted to lockdown my windows.

I don't trust this government enough to listen to a memo from them relating to my computer,  do you?

Don't worry, you can take off the tin-foil hat now.

Taken from Ars Technica:
Quote
For those users who have not yet patched their machines, the government recommends that they block access to Server Message Block (SMB) services from untrusted networks and disable anonymous SMB access. The new patch fixes the problem by having the Server service validate RPC messages before passing them to the appropriate buffer.

Because the DHS warning was so unusual, it has prompted some wild talk that the Microsoft security patch is, in reality, a government surveillance tool designed to spy on Windows users around the world. While this makes for some entertaining speculation, it's the sort of thing that would single-handedly eviscerate Microsoft's business, and would no doubt be uncovered quickly by security researchers. The user backlash from such a program would be little short of astonishing.

We'll leave our tinfoil hats in the Orbiting HQ Storage Module this time.
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Kobra
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« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2006, 07:12:11 PM »

The tin hat comes off only when we have some new politicians running the show.  paranoid
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« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2006, 09:11:07 PM »

Quote from: Kobra on August 13, 2006, 07:12:11 PM

The tin hat comes off only when we have some new politicians running the show.  paranoid

I'm pretty sure the tin foil hats stay on as long as any politicians are running the show.
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