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Author Topic: Help me help my company  (Read 1671 times)
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hepcat
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« on: May 15, 2008, 03:30:25 PM »

So they put in a suggestion box in the kitchen for employees.  Primarily it's intended for suggestions on coffee flavors and snacks that people might like to have in the break room.  However, over the last few weeks I've been dropping in my own anonymous suggestions.  So far I've asked for:

1) An office Bowflex placed in the copy room so I can work on my "guns" while waiting for color copies.

2) An office "Helper Monkey" dressed in a red bellhop outfit that we could train to deliver notes to other cubicles, as well as act as our first line of defense in case of a terrorist attack.

3) An office Hang Glider that would be parked on the roof and available for employee use during lunch hours.

4) More Cowbell


Anyone else have suggestions that could turn this "workplace" into more of a "funplace"?

...and before it gets posted in a reply, no...prostitutes brandishing sparklers and wearing pasties is strictly forbidden by fire codes.

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rickfc
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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2008, 03:36:03 PM »

Pantless Fridays

Ass-less chaps Mondays

Pornography Day once a month

Talk like a Pirate Day every other Wednesday

All-female Kielbasa eating contest

Just a few.  slywink
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CeeKay
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« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2008, 03:39:21 PM »

Bea Arthur naked jumping on a trampoline all day?
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Larraque
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« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2008, 03:40:28 PM »

Vaccination shots for Myxomatosis.
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hepcat
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« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2008, 03:42:02 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on May 15, 2008, 03:39:21 PM

Bea Arthur naked jumping on a trampoline all day?

as interesting a visual presentation on the physics of drag coefficient that would be, i fear bea has very few "bounces" left in her before she goes to that great sitcom in the sky.
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« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2008, 03:44:10 PM »

Have Fridays be "Best seat in the house" day where one lucky worker gets a La-Z-Boy for their desk.

Video poker in the break room.
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hepcat
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« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2008, 03:45:33 PM »

Quote from: McNutt on May 15, 2008, 03:44:10 PM

Have Fridays be "Best seat in the house" day

no need...every day is "Best Seat in the House" day whenever I walk by!

BA DA BOOM!

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« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2008, 03:53:11 PM »

How about no email days?
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« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2008, 03:59:30 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on May 15, 2008, 03:36:03 PM

Ass-less chaps Mondays
Not to bring OO silliness here but what are Ass-less chaps as compared to regular Chaps?  Why is there a need to specify Ass-less?







o.k. that was directly bringing OO silliness here.  Sorry 'bout your luck.  They let me in.
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« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2008, 04:03:08 PM »

Nerf guns
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CeeKay
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« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2008, 04:15:48 PM »

Nerf management.
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Knightshade Dragon
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« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2008, 04:46:30 PM »

Quote
Video poker in the break room.
Guitar Hero in the break room. 
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rickfc
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« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2008, 04:48:12 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on May 15, 2008, 04:46:30 PM

Quote
Video poker in the break room.
Guitar Hero in the break room. 

Strip Guitar Hero Video Poker in the break room
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ATB
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« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2008, 04:48:39 PM »

Quote from: Knightshade Dragon on May 15, 2008, 04:46:30 PM

Quote
Video poker in the break room.
Guitar Hero in the break room. 
Rock band in the the break room.
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Freezer-TPF-
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« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2008, 04:52:12 PM »

My standby is:


Suggestion: Nap Meditation room

Reason: TO INCREASE SYNERGY OUTSIDE THE BOX
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« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2008, 05:21:47 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on May 15, 2008, 03:42:02 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on May 15, 2008, 03:39:21 PM

Bea Arthur naked jumping on a trampoline all day?
as interesting a visual presentation on the physics of drag coefficient that would be, i fear bea has very few "bounces" left in her before she goes to that great sitcom in the sky.

 eek eek icon_eek icon_eek crybaby crybaby

I've read a LOT of strange things over the years, but I do think that this takes the cake.  saywhat
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« Reply #16 on: May 15, 2008, 05:26:40 PM »

Quote from: Remus West2 on May 15, 2008, 03:59:30 PM

Quote from: rickfc on May 15, 2008, 03:36:03 PM

Ass-less chaps Mondays
Not to bring OO silliness here but what are Ass-less chaps as compared to regular Chaps?  Why is there a need to specify Ass-less?







o.k. that was directly bringing OO silliness here.  Sorry 'bout your luck.  They let me in.

Assless chaps are Lawbeef's favorite article of clothing. There's just something he likes about the ventilation, if you know what I mean. Plus, the easy access.  Tongue
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Jolor
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« Reply #17 on: May 15, 2008, 05:28:13 PM »

=> Immediate camera and physical surveillance of the suggestion box.
=> Mandatory strip searches with optional probes - weekly.
=> Velvet Elvis paintings in the employee lounge.
=> An employee lounge.
=> Uniforms.
=> Let's put on a play to raise money for a petting zoo.
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« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2008, 05:31:54 PM »

Leave Your Child At Work Day
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mb737
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« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2008, 05:35:43 PM »

A Mandatory Fun Run to Raise Rabies Awareness.

Water will not be provided.
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« Reply #20 on: May 15, 2008, 05:46:23 PM »

  • Move Suggestion Box to the men's room.  It's where the best suggestions come from anyway. -- Also, add Complaint Box to womens room.
  • Warm water in all men's room toilets, my balls keep getting cold.
  • Add Coors Light to beverage machine.  Oh, and snow machines, bikini models, and a 1/3 scale train so when I crack open the Coors, snow starts blowing in, and the bikini models ride the train in, just like the commercials.
  • Please tell Janice in accounting we're over, she's not returning my calls.
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« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2008, 06:05:45 PM »

Spanking lines.
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Moliere
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« Reply #22 on: May 15, 2008, 06:14:18 PM »

Maybe your company could pass along the suggestion to Hillary that she should drop out of the race.
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hepcat
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« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2008, 06:19:00 PM »

Quote from: Moliere on May 15, 2008, 06:14:18 PM

Maybe your company could pass along the suggestion to Hillary that she should drop out of the race.

...or get her up there on that trampoline with bea arthur. 

cougars....roooowwwwrrrr
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rickfc
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« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2008, 06:28:48 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on May 15, 2008, 06:19:00 PM

Quote from: Moliere on May 15, 2008, 06:14:18 PM

Maybe your company could pass along the suggestion to Hillary that she should drop out of the race.

...or get her up there on that trampoline with bea arthur. 

cougars....roooowwwwrrrr

I thought they stopped being cougars when they broke a hip???
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hepcat
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« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2008, 06:34:41 PM »

Quote from: rickfc on May 15, 2008, 06:28:48 PM

Quote from: hepcat on May 15, 2008, 06:19:00 PM

Quote from: Moliere on May 15, 2008, 06:14:18 PM

Maybe your company could pass along the suggestion to Hillary that she should drop out of the race.

...or get her up there on that trampoline with bea arthur. 

cougars....roooowwwwrrrr

I thought they stopped being cougars when they broke a hip???

or stopped being women.
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mb737
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« Reply #26 on: May 15, 2008, 07:24:18 PM »

You guys leave Bea alone.  She was on the Star Wars Christmas Special for crying out loud! crybaby

Didn't she sing a love song to Chewbacca or something?  I think I've permanently mentally blocked my memories of that show.
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hepcat
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« Reply #27 on: May 15, 2008, 07:37:32 PM »

Quote from: mb737 on May 15, 2008, 07:24:18 PM

You guys leave Bea alone.  She was on the Star Wars Christmas Special for crying out loud! crybaby

Didn't she sing a love song to Chewbacca or something?  I think I've permanently mentally blocked my memories of that show.

you're thinking of Harvey Fierstein...


....wait...no, that was bea arthur.
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CeeKay
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« Reply #28 on: May 16, 2008, 12:32:21 AM »

make Hepcat stay 24/7 so everyone can sample his awesomeness.
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