Hasbro - Universal Pictures deal

[Larraque]

http://www.variety.com/VR1117981181.html

Universal Pictures has announced a six-year partnership with Hasbro to produce at least four feature films based on branded properties.
The properties include “Monopoly,” “Candy Land,” “Clue,” “Ouija,” “Battleship,” “Magic, The Gathering” and “Stretch Armstrong.”

The deal comes after the successful screen transformation of the Hasbro property “Transformers,” which DreamWorks and Paramount turned into a Michael Bay-directed global hit, and which has a sequel scheduled to begin production this year.

Hasbro’s “G.I. Joe” will be a 2009 tentpole for Paramount Pictures, with director Stephen Sommers just beginning production on the film. Lorenzo di Bonaventura has shepherded both properties as producer.

There's so much craptasticness in this announcement I don't know where to start? Magic: The Gathering: The Movie? Do you encorporate people slinging cards at one another into movie form?

How horrible an idea would Monopoly: The Movie be, starring Ben Stiller and Gwenyeth Paltrow, as owners of a hotel at pennsylvania and baltic place, when Ben can't afford to pay the rent at the hotel? Hilarity ensues when an old guy in a hat with a moustache as played by Burt Reynolds goes to jail! Doesn't Pass Go! Doesn't collect $200!

And the horror film for halloween 2010 - OUIJA! Once you play, you die!!!!!

[Destructor]

 

Can ANYBODY explain to me how they'd do a Monopoly movie? Or Battleship?

I do have to admit though - DragonFyre, you did a great job on the Monopoly one.

[Larraque]

In the near future, at the center of the ocean, the koreans have erected a great barrier. All ships trying to pass the barrier have been sunk by ships at the other side.

(Shoot to admiral hopkins, played by Will Farrell) We've divided the targetting missiles to these ten by ten quadrants on the other side of the barrier.

(Shoot to aggrivated submarine commander jenkins, played by Dwayne, the Rock, Johnson) Fire a concentrated barrage into sector K 3!

<THIS SUMMER>

(Shoot to enemy commander kong pi lau, played by... some chinese guy)
(subordinate) Direct hit on the battleship!
(Kong pi lau) Yes, but they don't know which way the ship is oriented. Return fire to C 4!

<The Rock, with text on screen>You sunk our battleship!
(Kong pi lau - on korean battleship) And now, we're going to sink youuuuuu. (twirls moustache)

---

Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

[CeeKay]

I can see Uwe Boll salivating right now.

[Destructor]

*description of Battleship Movie*

*head explodes*

[ATB]

Is there any hope...any hope at all...that GI JOE will be an epic oscar candidate that makes us cry tears of delight as we watch our favorite childhood toy come to life on screen?

Dream of the possibilities:

Michael Clark Duncan as Roadblock
Clive Owen as Flint
Hugo Weaving as Snake Eyes
Jason Statham as Storm Shadow
Anthony Hopkins as Cobra Commander
Daniel Day Lewis as Dr. Mindbender
David Morse as Destro
Colin Farrell as Zartan
Russell Crowe as Firefly

And featuring Gerard Butler in a cameo as Serpentor

[wonderpug]

Forget you, GI JOE, I want Kenner to make a live action M.A.S.K. movie!

edit: Oh, Kenner is a Hasbro subsidiary...my dream may yet come true!

[leo8877]

After being skeptical of Transformers and having that movie rock my socks off, I am eagerly anticipating GI Joe the movie.  And if it sucks, I'll just remember Cobra-la and the original GI Joe movie and still be happy.

[CeeKay]

the new GI Joe movie is being directed by the guy responsible for the Mummy and the Mummy Returns, so it's in safe hands.


Just remember kids, GI Joe ain't a real American hero no more 

[ATB]

I always prefered storm shadow, but this, my friends, is teh hotness:



There is hope it sounds like.

[leo8877]

Oh sweet shit that rules!!!!!!

[SkyLander]

Stephen Sommers (The Mummy and Van Helsing).

Wooo this movie is going to not do well.

Even though I actually kind of liked the mummy.

[Gratch]

Didn't they already make a Clue movie?

[CeeKay]

Didn't they already make a Clue movie?

Clue 2: Electric Boogaloo

[unbreakable]

There is the picture, but nobody mentioned it's Ray Park inside the Snake Eyes outfit.

[Graham]

Not to mention one of the pictures has Snake Eyes holding a gun.  I don't remember much about the cartoon, but I don't remember Snake Eyes ever using a gun.

[leo8877]

Not to mention one of the pictures has Snake Eyes holding a gun.  I don't remember much about the cartoon, but I don't remember Snake Eyes ever using a gun.

He sure did.  He came with an Uzi, IIRC.

EDIT for pic:

[unbreakable]

So, since Hasbro owns WotC... and WotC owns D&D... does this mean we are going to have to suffer with another craptastico D&D movie?

[Thin_J]

Not to mention one of the pictures has Snake Eyes holding a gun.  I don't remember much about the cartoon, but I don't remember Snake Eyes ever using a gun.

Snakes Eyes used guns constantly.

[Destructor]

So, since Hasbro owns WotC... and WotC owns D&D... does this mean we are going to have to suffer with another craptastico D&D movie?

That just brought up a few memories I intended to keep buried. Thanks.

[Kratz]

Van Helsing.

Need I say more?

[ATB]

The upgraded Snake Eyes was even better:

[leo8877]

This is the snake eyes I most relate to (which reminds me, I hope Timber is in the movie, too)

[ROTC1983]

I forgot, they did they ever unveil who snake eyes is under the mask?

[unbreakable]

I forgot, they did they ever unveil who snake eyes is under the mask?

Well yeah, but it's not because he was hiding his identity, it's because his face was all messed up.

[ATB]

I forgot, they did they ever unveil who snake eyes is under the mask?

Well yeah, but it's not because he was hiding his identity, it's because his face was all messed up.

There was this tease GI JOE comic "Unmaskings" with Destro, Cob Comm, and SS pulling at their masks.

They never showed nothin.

[Graham]

Not to mention one of the pictures has Snake Eyes holding a gun.  I don't remember much about the cartoon, but I don't remember Snake Eyes ever using a gun.

Snakes Eyes used guns constantly.

I was wrong, as was posted by multiple people.  I guess I don't remember that.  Maybe I think that it would have been cooler if he didn't use them.

[CeeKay]

So, since Hasbro owns WotC... and WotC owns D&D... does this mean we are going to have to suffer with another craptastico D&D movie?

That just brought up a few memories I intended to keep buried. Thanks.

at least he didn't mention Marlon Wayans character getting his own movie.

[unbreakable]

I forgot, they did they ever unveil who snake eyes is under the mask?

Well yeah, but it's not because he was hiding his identity, it's because his face was all messed up.

There was this tease GI JOE comic "Unmaskings" with Destro, Cob Comm, and SS pulling at their masks.

They never showed nothin.

Well if you think about it, it's kind of anticlimactic anyway.  What could they possibly show?  I know Destro likewise wears a mask because of an injury to his face, so that just leaves Cobra Commander... who could possibly be in the ugly club too, since he was coincidentally in a car accident which killed Snake Eye's twin sister.

So really, unless Cobra Commander pulls off his mask to reveal that he's really Caspar Weinberger or something, I can't see any kind of shocking revelations it could hold.

[CeeKay]

So really, unless Cobra Commander pulls off his mask to reveal that he's really Caspar Weinberger or something, I can't see any kind of shocking revelations it could hold.

and after G.I. Joe the Movie there's some question as to whether or not he was really even human.

[leo8877]

I don't want to see Cobra Commander's face.  There have been multiple comic books that showed snake-eyes in some form.  He's just a normal blond guy with a messed up face from an explosion or some-such.

[kadnod]

So really, unless Cobra Commander pulls off his mask to reveal that he's really Caspar Weinberger or something, I can't see any kind of shocking revelations it could hold.

and after G.I. Joe the Movie there's some question as to whether or not he was really even human.

That was the weirdest part of a very weird movie.  "I wasss once a mannn . . ."

Stabbing a major protagonist in the heart with a pertrified snake was a close second. 

[Destructor]

So really, unless Cobra Commander pulls off his mask to reveal that he's really Caspar Weinberger or something, I can't see any kind of shocking revelations it could hold.

and after G.I. Joe the Movie there's some question as to whether or not he was really even human.

Isn't that the movie in which he belches out (constantly)?:

COBRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!

[leo8877]

[CrayolaSmoker]

So, are they very carefully placing the sword so it reflects his shoulder, or is that etched into the blade?

[EngineNo9]

So, are they very carefully placing the sword so it reflects his shoulder, or is that etched into the blade?

The only way that blade could be reflecting both the light and his shoulder would be if the light source was at his shoulder.  I'm guessing it's etched/painted on the blade. 

[leo8877]

So, are they very carefully placing the sword so it reflects his shoulder, or is that etched into the blade?

The only way that blade could be reflecting both the light and his shoulder would be if the light source was at his shoulder.  I'm guessing it's etched/painted on the blade. 

Yeah it seems etched to me as well. 

[CeeKay]

yep, that's part of the blade.

[Purge]

I'm still a little bothered by the fact that the words "erected" and "tentpole" were used by DragonFyre in his first two posts.

As to the movies, I'm more interested in Candy Land. I hope it's an NC-17 title.

I never really got into GI Joe, so I have no preconceived notions. It could waver from the story completely and I wouldn't notice it. As to Bay's Transformers, I'm not willing to dive back into that mire. The fact that they made bank does not a good movie make.

[ATB]

So, are they very carefully placing the sword so it reflects his shoulder, or is that etched into the blade?

Wow. Someone must have pulled a 48 hr shift to ask a question as odd as that one...