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Author Topic: Girlfriend wants me to move to Italy with her....  (Read 2697 times)
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Ascendent
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« on: February 24, 2005, 12:36:27 PM »

and I have zilcho idea where to begin.  I mean I don't even  have the foggiest on what to do next. She said it would be for a year at least. I would need a work permit but wasn't sure what else. So anyways any help would apperciated...I'm sooo out of my element here it's not funny.

Ascendent
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GGMark
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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2005, 02:59:34 PM »

Now is the time to figure out if you are really into her.  I guess the circumstances about why she is going matter as well.  Personally, I think no matter what I would stay home.  Your going to uproot yourself to another country for only a year.  you still have to come back home again and need a job and all tht good stuff.
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Sepiche
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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2005, 03:08:29 PM »

So do you know italian?

s
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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2005, 05:48:32 PM »

Sorry I can't be of any real help but I would say hell yeah go for that.
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2005, 06:04:25 PM »

Quote from: "GGMark"
Now is the time to figure out if you are really into her.  I guess the circumstances about why she is going matter as well.  Personally, I think no matter what I would stay home.  Your going to uproot yourself to another country for only a year.  you still have to come back home again and need a job and all tht good stuff.


Have to agree here. For longer than a year and were you married, it would be a different issue. But you're only dating and she's only gone a year. I'd visit her, don't get me wrong, but move with her sans wedding rings? Hell no.




Unless it was Australia. biggrin
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Calvin
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« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2005, 06:05:38 PM »

I would say "HELL NO" unless you are sure you want to live in Italy for a year, maybe more, and that you can quit your job, find another one, be happy in place that, you know, ain't the US, and all that.

I just hate most of this sappy "follow my gf/bf to the ends of the earth nonsense". If you are engaged, married, ok I understand. If this is a regular GF you have been together with for a while, think about yourself and your life and your needs and your future first.

I know you dont want to hear it, but no matter how much you tell yourself this is the one-there is no way to be sure, and chances are you are just wrong. Life will go on with or without her.

We all learn it the hard way.  I thought a girl this summer was the one. Only the second girl in my entire life I had that kind of wacky feeling towards. She was a complete and utter bitch. took me a couple months of misery to get back to my oldself, and everytime I think about that period I want to bitchslap myself so bad that I will never forget it-I turned into a person I was not for some strange reason to please that girl-this from a guy that thought going out with 3 girls at the same time was A-Ok and that long term relationship was a foreign phrase.

Anways, I am rambling. Just be careful.
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Chaz
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« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2005, 07:53:04 PM »

If you go to Italy with her, she'd better be teh hotness, and provide some uber sex.
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« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2005, 08:21:20 PM »

Quote from: "Chaz"
If you go to Italy with her, she'd better be teh hotness, and provide some uber sex.

Even if she's not... Italian girls always seemed sexy to me.  Tell her you'll move with her only if you have the option to leave her for a sexy Italian girl if you find one.

Of course, my wife says Italian guys are sexy so maybe you do want to go with her just in case.
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TheMissingLink
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« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2005, 08:31:32 PM »

I gotta see you in Portland before you move - as for advice or help, I have zero biggrin  Good luck!
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« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2005, 08:41:43 PM »

Im with Rage on this one. Moving in with someone in the same place with your current job is a big step. Throw in the move, the new job, the new language, and a new country??

Thats alot of stress. Of course it could work out wonderfully and be one of the greatest experiences of your life.

Really only you can answer that question. From your post, it doesn't sounds like you are too sure about the whole thing.
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dbt1949
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« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2005, 08:41:49 PM »

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jimmyorr99
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« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2005, 09:04:36 PM »

GO FOR IT!!!  i wish i could go live in Italy, but my girlfriend won't even let me move to a different state, let alone a different country.
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Ascendent
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« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2005, 09:09:47 PM »

Oh, sorry if I sounded confused about her. I'm very commited to her. We've talked about marriage, kids, the whole 9 yards. She's 27 I'm 28 incase anyone was wondering.  That's a non issue for me. The only thing I'm not sure about is moving to Italy, and so soon. But I'm going to talk to her see if I can persude her to hold off on that and maybe go visit instead.

The reason for the post was I needed information on what exactly I would need to live over there for a year. Passport, work visa, just wasn't sure about those things. Never having done this before this is new territory for me. The only idea I had was to get in touch with the Italian Embassy here in DC maybe they could help me.

But I do apperciate everyone's most helpful input thanks smile

Ascendent
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Doopri
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« Reply #13 on: February 24, 2005, 10:01:32 PM »

yup yup Italian embassy good start, dont forget bout US embassy in Italy too - your congressional offices are also always willin to help (constituent services and whatnot smile) - just ask bout what you would need to work, the process paperwork etc and get it started once youre sure because it can  be lenghty

also if you happen to be second gen italian or if immediate relatives have property there i think its pretty easy to get citizenship - but again the 2 embassies and your state reps office will be good places to go to get an idea of what ya need

and if you dont have passport get to post office that takes a few months to get through (not to do all the stuff just to wait for it to get processed or whatever bureaucratic bs takes that long)
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Bob
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« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2005, 10:10:39 PM »

http://www.italyemb.org/

In particular you will be interested in this info:
http://www.italyemb.org/Visti.htm
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Bob
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« Reply #15 on: February 24, 2005, 10:13:38 PM »

Quote
and if you dont have passport get to post office that takes a few months to get through (not to do all the stuff just to wait for it to get processed or whatever bureaucratic bs takes that long

Unless they've changed things since my passport, there are services that you can rush process a US passport through.  For $90, I got my passport in 3 days.
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Bob
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« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2005, 10:16:03 PM »

Also.. you might find it easier to get an Italian visa that allows you to work in Italy if you get married first. smile
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depward
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« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2005, 12:17:58 AM »

You only live once.  I would say definately plan on moving.

Though, the logistical part of that I have no clue where to begin.  Pick up a "easy guide to Italian", learn some of the governmental stuff, and yeah.  But definately go if you're into her.
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Chrisoc13
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« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2005, 08:01:33 AM »

Quote from: "Bob"
Quote
and if you dont have passport get to post office that takes a few months to get through (not to do all the stuff just to wait for it to get processed or whatever bureaucratic bs takes that long

Unless they've changed things since my passport, there are services that you can rush process a US passport through.  For $90, I got my passport in 3 days.


Yes, passports can come very quickly! You have to pay extra, but mine came very very quickly, and that was just a couple of years ago.

As for moving, I say go for it! I loved my time in italy in october. It would be an awsome experience. Figure things out later!
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Turtle
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« Reply #19 on: February 25, 2005, 10:08:26 AM »

While I wouldn't do it suddenly, after I graduate I'm planning to live overseas for a few years.  About a year in each country.

First Japan, then probably the UK.
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scubabbl
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« Reply #20 on: February 25, 2005, 06:34:45 PM »

I say go for it. You have been given the opportunity to live in a different country, and a good one at that. You might feel a little out of your league, and I feel your pain. My wife and I talked about moving to Japan, and we were going to, but then I got a job so we decided to stay in Hawaii. That being said, although I was a little scared to move to Japan, I was still totally stoked.

Anyway, I say you should definatly the the opportunity presented to you.  Pretty much what you are getting is a trip to italy plus tours around Europe. Regardless of anything else, Europe does have some awesome history, expecially Italy. The chance to go over there a live for a year and being able to tour Italyand the rest of Europe is just to good to pass up. Think about that.

I think in the end, you might regret not taking this chance.
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« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2005, 02:11:31 AM »

I would move there in a heartbeat.  I dont think I would move to another state for a girlfriend, but another country seems... cooler, somehow, and it IS out of the US (which is a mighty fine idea, IMO, at least for the next three years or so).

I had a doctor who spent any vacation time he could get in Italy.  He said it's a whole different way of life over there, and when he retires, it will be over there.
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« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2005, 02:40:59 AM »

Rarely do we regret the things we do as much as the things we don't do.
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Bulletpig
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« Reply #23 on: February 26, 2005, 02:40:38 PM »

I don't see how this is even a issue.  I would take the chance in a second.  Your still fairly young and no kids.  Your only really talking about a year.

Get your passport and visa stuff in order and have a great time.  I have never left the country but my boss always says that if you do go somewhere always make sure you have passport and a visa coming in and a visa coming out!

Good Luck!

Pig
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JayG
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« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2005, 10:57:15 AM »

Well I moved to Switzerland from Ireland to be with a girl, and I can tell you that it's a big step. You will face a lot of barriers, but Italy is a lovely country, and as far as I know Americans are very popular there. It's so relaxed and laid back, and the food's amazing. And I reckon it should be easy enough with regards paperwork (Switzerland on the other hand is a total nightmare, just like the film Brazil)
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depward
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« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2005, 11:27:42 AM »

Quote from: "JayG"
(Switzerland on the other hand is a total nightmare, just like the film Brazil)

HAHA that gave me a good mental picture, seeing as how nutty the film Brazil's atmosphere and environment is   biggrin
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mori
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« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2005, 12:37:02 AM »

Why is she moving to Italy?  Why wasn't this discussed with you prior to her decision?  Even if you get a work visa I can't imagine it would be easy or even possible to get a job in Italy or anywhere in Europe for that matter.  But if you don't have financial concerns then I would say go for it.  You are young and it would be a fun adventure even if the relationship doesn't survive.
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Eightball
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« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2005, 01:50:50 AM »

Where in Italy is she going to move?  I've been there about 8 or 9 times so far...and I love the country.  Great food, friendly people (except in Venice....), sunny, and they're insane-o about football (soccer) over there.

Plus the history and architecture is staggering.
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« Reply #28 on: March 03, 2005, 12:00:13 AM »

I personally would never follow a girlfriend around the world like that.  Now, if I were married to her, then yes I'd go for it.  But now way in hell would I move to Italy with a girlfriend.  But that's me.
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