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Author Topic: ASK SUPERHIRO! 10/12/04  (Read 2152 times)
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SuperHiro
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« on: October 12, 2004, 04:50:07 PM »

Welcome to another edition of ASK SUPERHIRO!

Today's panelists are SuperHiro and Actor Kirk Cameron



Today's Letter
Quote
Dear SuperHiro and Actor Kirk Cameron,
    My husband has been using the computer a lot more than usual. Sometimes he's on until the wee hours of the morning. And when he comes home he doesn't bother to say hello to either me or his three lovely daughters; he just goes right to the computer and logs on. I thought he was chatting in those internet chatrooms I read about in Parade, but I can't hear any typing. So one day I looked at his Internet History. I just get so lonely sometimes, and seeing where he's been makes me feel like he's there somehow, even if that feeling is small and fleeting.
    I was very shocked to discover that my husband of 50 years has been visiting porn sites.  I don't know if your publication allows details, but it certainly wasn't mainstream. I'm concerned not only for our marriage, but the safety of our children, pets, and household applicances.

Sincerely,
Ruth Hayward
Salt Lake City, UT



Quote


Ruth,
   I can't claim to be an expert on human sexuality. However, I think you may be overreacting to discovering your husband's porn stash. Every couple nowadays has this discussion.  First off, shame on your husband for not cleaning out his history.  No one wants to find that crap out. Second of all, I'm 95% certain your husband is not going to act out on his fantasies... because that's what they are... fantasies.  If every man tried to seek out his fantasy, then polygamy would be legal in this country.

   Now what to do.  I know you feel like confronting him, but that's not a good idea. That'll make him cover his tracks even better, and then you'll never find out.  You obviously want to keep tabs on him... so do that. Hell, you might even learn something.  If someone is dumb enough not to erase his history, then you have every right to exploit that idioicy.

-SH


Quote

Ruth,
  Sometimes guys get these strange fetishes. Often they view so much porn that simple, good old fashioned, hard core porn just doesn't cut it, and they seek out other venues to find that erotic rush.  Before you know it, they're dressing up in furry animal suits and go to conventions to grind on the ass of another man or woman in a furry animal suit.

   I had a friend named Rikk.  He started to view these softcore sites at first, and then slowly moved to more hardcore sites, like 20-way hump fests and every-hole-gets-filled 6 hour marathons.  But after 4 years of that, it just wasn't enough. Soon Rikk was spending up to 10 hours a day viewing Japanese tentacle porn.  He loved the contrast between the innocence and milky white skin of the Japanese school girl and the disgusting slimyness, and the purple mottled texture of the tentacles.  The phallic significance of that was intoxicating to him.  But soon even that wasn't enough.  Be began to scrap at the bottom of the barrell of erotic pleasures.  Animal bondage, fecal fetishists, cancerous leisions, lepers, circumcision reversals... it got so bad that one time his TV producer discovered him and he never got a job in mainstream television ever again.

   Luckily he discovered Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, and he's spending his life dedicated to his cause.  But every once in a while, I can still see the lust in his eyes, aching for the mottled tentacles, or pictures of sheep and chickens strung up on the rack, the black leather strapping them down.  It's hard work, but with a lot of prayer you can repress these dark and ultimately evil urges.

God Bless you!

Kirk Cameron
[/color]
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Gromit
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« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2004, 05:02:19 PM »

retard  paranoid
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Jeff
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« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2004, 05:04:40 PM »

:lol:  thumbsup

Did you write this all yourself? If so, you're my new Hiro!
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SuperHiro
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« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2004, 05:07:45 PM »

Yep. I have to say though, using republican politicians is much more satisfying.
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Siljanus
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« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2004, 05:15:02 PM »

Quote from: "SuperHiro"
Yep. I have to say though, using republican politicians is much more satisfying.


Sigh, where's the love for poor Kirk?
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SuperHiro
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« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2004, 05:16:18 PM »

Quote from: "Siljanus"
Quote from: "SuperHiro"
Yep. I have to say though, using republican politicians is much more satisfying.


Sigh, where's the love for poor Kirk?


I was orginally going to use Gary Condit, and then imply that Chandra Levy caught him.

But then God came and said "NO!"
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Captain Caveman
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« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2004, 05:16:21 PM »

I miss Boner and Mrs. Seaver was a MILF.
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Jag
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« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2004, 06:05:41 PM »

This is quickly becoming a CG classic!  thumbsup
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Jeff
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« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2004, 06:08:10 PM »

Quote from: "Jag"
This is quickly becoming a CG classic!  thumbsup


Seriously, SuperHiro, if you wrote this, it's pretty damn funny, imo. I hope you do more of them. It'll be fun not knowing who the celebrity guest panelist o' the week will be smile
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SuperHiro
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« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2004, 06:29:54 PM »

Thanks!

I've got a few more in mind.

Here's one I posted in the Games forum



And my personal favorite:


I'll try to post a new one at least weekly.
I'll use different celebrities but you can certainly expect past ones to come up again. I know I'm using Tom Delay again for sure.
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CSL
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« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2004, 06:45:38 PM »

:shock:

 :lol:

LOL!!!
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Octavious230
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« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2004, 06:49:43 PM »

Lol keep em coming... you had me at Kirk you had me at Kirk!!!  :wink:
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Jag
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« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2004, 08:50:50 PM »

Damm you for making me laugh out loud at work. "Japanese tentacle porn"??? "circumcision reversals???" Damm you  :lol:
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whiteboyskim
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« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2004, 09:01:05 PM »

confused

 smoke
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