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Author Topic: Dungeon Siege Trailer...  (Read 2651 times)
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Semaj
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« on: January 09, 2006, 04:50:49 PM »

http://oli.atknet.sk/king.mov

I'm still laughing
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« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2006, 05:26:36 PM »

I'd love to watch it but I get the "white screen" problem with all new trailers now... anyone know which codec these new trailers are using so I can download it?
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Jimmy the Fish
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« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2006, 06:01:18 PM »

Since it is a .mov trailer, it's Quicktime. Do you have QT installed? If you do you might just need to update it.

As for the movie, Peter Jackson should sue Uwe Boll.

A fantasy movie with Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta and NINJAS?? Hahahahaha!
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« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2006, 06:15:21 PM »

Quote from: "Jimmy the Fish"
Since it is a .mov trailer, it's Quicktime. Do you have QT installed? If you do you might just need to update it.


I have Quick Time 6 and it's completely updated. Turns out all these new trailer use a HD codec that's only in Quick Time 7... downloading QT 7 now...

Can't wait to see how awful it is smile

EDIT: EEEE! What the hell did I just see? My eyes... my burning useless eyes!

Please tell me that wasn't the lovely Claire Forlani in one of those shots... argh eugh agg... gargle... gasp. (Orgull collapses in a frothy seizure)
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« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2006, 06:24:56 PM »

At first, I thought it was a fan trailer splicing together footage from several different fantasy/medieval movies and the text narration was gonna have one hell of a punchline.

Then I realized it was a real movie and had a sudden synapse of recognition as to what all those actors had been pulled together for.  And I can't figure out if A Dungeon Siege Tale is a better punchline or not.  :?
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Jimmy the Fish
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« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2006, 06:36:27 PM »

Unfortunately, yes, that is Claire Forlani you saw.

I still cannot get over the fact that Burt Reynolds in is this movie. Actually, seeing John Rhys-Davies in the same scene with Burt Reynolds makes my brain melt. I feel just like the probe in that Star Trek episode where Kirk tells it to compute PI which causes it to blow its circuits.
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« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2006, 06:42:45 PM »

Oh sweet merciful Christ!  



+



+



+



Why GOD WHYYYYYY?!
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« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2006, 06:49:15 PM »

I have QT 7.0.3 and none of the trailers posted today work.
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« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2006, 07:43:10 PM »

Why release this trailer?



If you are using Firefox, make sure AdBlock is disabled (if you d/l'ed it as an extension).
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Semaj
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« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2006, 07:51:06 PM »

I still cant stop laughing....
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« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2006, 08:11:41 PM »

Quote
If you are using Firefox, make sure AdBlock is disabled (if you d/l'ed it as an extension).


....there is some irony there...is this trailer...spyware?
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« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2006, 08:50:29 PM »

I think that was the single worst trailer I've ever seen.
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« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2006, 10:51:24 PM »

If this is the same trailer that was making the rounds about a month ago, I agree - it falls squarely into the "ridiculusly awful" realm (I refuse to take the risk of permaniant blindness by watching it again).

Strangely enough, it really reminded me of the "Trogdor - The Movie" trailer at Homestarrunner, except Boll is, AFAIK, actually serious.
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« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2006, 11:15:44 PM »

Well, you DO know that Uwe Boll uses Mad Libs to make his trailers right?

Look at the Bloodrayne trailer and this trailer and tell me that it isn't so.

Step 1.) "A (insert person or object) (insert verb)"
Step 2.) "A (insert person or object) (insert verb)"
Step 3.) "A (insert person or object) (insert verb)"
Step 4.) "A Land (insert verb)"
Step 5.) "A (insert person or object) (insert verb)"
Step...hey, is anyone watching this trailer anymore??  Hellooooo?
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« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2006, 11:19:36 PM »

"Hey, I got a great idea for a movie!!!"

"What?"

"LOTR + Gladiator + Robin Hood (The Cosner version)"

"What about actors?"

"We will just hire the whole B-list!  Everyone loves those guys!"

"Brilliant!"

fin


This looks so bad.  I mean, there are bad movies, including most if not all of those made by Uwe Boll.  Generic pap with no-names looking to get some exposure.  Even when they are from game franchises that I love, with real potential in the hands of a real story teller. When you take actors that are well-liked, like Stratham, Burt, Pearlman, Liotta etc. and make a potential career-ending disaster like this looks to be, you should be tried in The Hague for war crimes.  'Cause this is going to Hollywood genocide.
WTF were they and their agents thinking?


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« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2006, 11:39:09 PM »

Quote from: "Rhinohelix"
WTF were they and their agents thinking?


Paycheck.  And not the crappy film with Ben F-Flick.

Hmmm, that gives me an idea for the "Worst Movie of All Time".  It would have to be directed by Uwe, and star Ben Affleck.  Who would be the writer and co-star(s)?

[edit]  And please, for the love of all that is holy, don't put the abomination of Quicktime on your computer.  Use QuickTime Alternative (and pick up Real Alternative while you are at it).
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« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2006, 11:59:59 PM »

Quote from: "unbreakable"
Quote from: "Rhinohelix"
WTF were they and their agents thinking?


Paycheck.  And not the crappy film with Ben F-Flick.


So what?  What is one paycheck balanced against having to shill tampons or something?

How many shots in the trailer were lifted directly from the LOTR series?  How many lines of dialog from the other two movies?  I expected Stratham to finish up his "I will have my vengence" bit with the other line from Gladiator.  I think he is even doing a Russell Crowe imitation!!11!eleventy-one!

Seriously.  Someone should add Uwe Boll to the axis of evil and invade him immediately.  Preferrably in a gimp suit with a chainsaw.  Doing the Leatherface chainsaw dance.

Rhino
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« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2006, 12:13:33 AM »

Isn't this supposed to have a part 2?
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« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2006, 12:18:13 AM »

OK.. it finally loaded..... ninjas... Tarzans assault brigade...  John Rhys Davies.. I just want to know one thing:

Where the fuck is the pack mule?
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« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2006, 01:21:35 AM »

Painful, painful.
When the TRAILER blows this bad, this movie will be a disaster of epic porportions.
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« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2006, 02:54:46 AM »

I thought you guys were kidding about the ninjas...they aren't kidding. The horror...

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« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2006, 03:02:21 AM »

Quote from: "CeeKay"
OK.. it finally loaded..... ninjas... Tarzans assault brigade...  John Rhys Davies....


Actually, what sprang to my mind was "why isn't this a Sci-Fi mini-series EXTRAVAGANZA!?!!?!?1!1!!"

It looks like Statham's "Transporter" training has come in handy considering how awesome he looks whenever he's going all Bruce Lee on everyone in sight. Oh, but what is the best part? I'm honestly torn between three things:

1) Burt Reynolds as "The King" looks so hilariously out-of-place that I'd snicker whenever he showed up.

2) Matthew Lillard trying to be an over-the-top villain and just...failing...miserably

3) The look on Ray Liotta's face when he leaps backwards in slo-mo from Farmer's sword.

The film could be the most genius trash flick in history.
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« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2006, 03:16:32 AM »

Did you notice Burt Reynolds' eyes?  They were so lifeless.  As if he realized he has now sold his soul.
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« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2006, 04:24:41 AM »

Quote from: "whiteboyskim"
Quote from: "CeeKay"
OK.. it finally loaded..... ninjas... Tarzans assault brigade...  John Rhys Davies....


Actually, what sprang to my mind was "why isn't this a Sci-Fi mini-series EXTRAVAGANZA!?!!?!?1!1!!"

I couldn't decide if it was higher-budget Xena or lower-budget Willow.
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« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2006, 05:19:03 AM »

That was a new level of bad...and that's just the trailer.
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« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2006, 06:06:59 AM »

Well i finally got it to work. The thought that kept running through my head was it looked like one of those early 1980s sword and sorcery movies I used to love..which i dont now. Stuff like Yor the hunter from the future and the sword and the sorceress and such.
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« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2006, 06:41:04 AM »

Quote from: "Daehawk"
Well i finally got it to work. The thought that kept running through my head was it looked like one of those early 1980s sword and sorcery movies I used to love..which i dont now. Stuff like Yor the hunter from the future and the sword and the sorceress and such.


Yea!  The kind that would have a hand-drawn movie cover?  You could spot those B-movies from a mile away.
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« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2006, 12:36:15 PM »

I suppose I have really odd taste or am very easy going, but that trailer actually intrigued me.  Hell I loved the AD&D movie which most people thought sucked.
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Semaj
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« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2006, 12:40:52 PM »

Makes me think we need a new poll Tongue
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« Reply #29 on: January 12, 2006, 06:14:57 PM »

Is this a prequel to The Lord of The Rings? Where's Gandolf? I thought he and the midget went on an adventure filled danger and excitement?

Oh and the gay sex.
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Semaj
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« Reply #30 on: January 12, 2006, 07:34:59 PM »

with pirates!
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« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2006, 08:37:42 PM »

I will go watch this film, because it will make me laugh harder than anything else at the movies in AGES.  Sure, the comedy will be unintentional, but that'll make it even better.   :twisted:
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« Reply #32 on: January 13, 2006, 07:59:21 PM »

It crashed QuickTime at the end of the trailer.  How appropriate.
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« Reply #33 on: January 13, 2006, 09:43:40 PM »

Quote from: "Laner"
It crashed QuickTime at the end of the trailer.  How appropriate.


Heh... same for me!  Stack flow overload, much like the one in my brain from so much suckiness at once.   :twisted:
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