CDC officially denies existence of zombies

[CeeKay]

I bet it's a cover up:

The horrific face-eating arrest in Miami and several other seemingly subhuman acts has many people wondering what's behind this flesh-munching wave of terror.

A zombie apocalypse, however, is not what we should be worried about, at least according to the federal government.

Over the years the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has released a couple of tongue-in-cheek "zombie warnings," which really are just disaster-preparedness stunts. But on Thursday, the agency made it official: Zombies don't exist.

"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post.

sure, they don't exist.  just like we put a man on the moon or that Elvis was really not shacked up with JFK in a same sex marriage in Idaho.

[Crusis]

The CDC doth protest too much, methinks.

[rshetts2]

The CDC doth protest too much, methinks.

Hey now, youre the one who claims to write "fiction"  Exactly what are YOU covering up?

[Crusis]

The CDC doth protest too much, methinks.

Hey now, youre the one who claims to write "fiction"  Exactly what are YOU covering up?

Just my lack of formal education. 

[Harpua3]

CDC has obviously never watched the walking dead. Fools!

[Roguetad]

When a public agency feels the need to make a written official statement consisting of "<Insert fictional monster of your choice> does not exisit, we do not have any evidence of such", it's time to clean the dust off the shotgun and buy some ammo.   

[Doopri]

can i go ahead and nominate roguetad for a "best post ever" award?

[Einsteinium]

The CDC doth protest too much, methinks.

It seems like you jumped on the bandwagon a little too quickly. I'm questioning whether you are part of the conspiracy.

[corruptrelic]

You can still prepare before it's too late.

Worried about a zombie attack? Buy zombie bullets.

Talk about zombies and a possible zombie apocalypse has increased due to recent gory accounts of drug-induced, flesh-eating attacks in the news.

Stores across the U.S., including in Metro Detroit, are getting in on the undead action by selling Zombie Bullets, made by Hornady Manufacturing.

In promoting the product on their website, Hornady suggests, "Be PREPARED - supply yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse with Zombie Max ammunition from Hornady! Loaded with PROVEN Z-Max bullets... MAKE DEAD PERMANENT!"

http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/258445/58/Flesh-eating-attacks-prompt-high-demad-for-zombie-bullets



In other news, a professor in Sweden cuts off his wife's lips and eats them!

[Crusis]

You can still prepare before it's too late.

Worried about a zombie attack? Buy zombie bullets.

Talk about zombies and a possible zombie apocalypse has increased due to recent gory accounts of drug-induced, flesh-eating attacks in the news.

Stores across the U.S., including in Metro Detroit, are getting in on the undead action by selling Zombie Bullets, made by Hornady Manufacturing.

In promoting the product on their website, Hornady suggests, "Be PREPARED - supply yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse with Zombie Max ammunition from Hornady! Loaded with PROVEN Z-Max bullets... MAKE DEAD PERMANENT!"

http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/258445/58/Flesh-eating-attacks-prompt-high-demad-for-zombie-bullets



In other news, a professor in Sweden cuts off his wife's lips and eats them!

I have a box of these in the 5.56 variant at home but as a gag. I would never fire them with my AR. They're too expensive. These have amazing marketing and are also about twice as much as shells without a fancy zombie box.

[EngineNo9]

I bet that company makes a killing selling those "specialty" bullets.     (Pun not intended...only noticed that once I typed it out)

[Crusis]

I loaded a few in one of my Magpul's and took this shot. They do have some fantastic advertising.

[Roguetad]

The sick joke (I was going to say irony) is that those anti-zombie rounds actually contain the zombie virus.  It's just a very small part of the outbreak plan.  You can tell by the green tips on the rounds indicating viral tipped ammo. 

Drug induced dude thinks homeless guy is a devil dog snack treat and proceeds to begin eating his face.  Responsible citizen with anti-zombie rounds shoots guy tripping on drugs.  Zombie pandemic begins...in Florida?  Somehow it has to vector its way to London though, since that city is always screwed in the books and movies.     

[CeeKay]

Somehow it has to vector its way to London though, since that city is always screwed in the books and movies.     

it'll be in the crumpets.

[Doopri]

I bet that company makes a killing selling those "specialty" bullets.     (Pun not intended...only noticed that once I typed it out)

unkilling?