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Author Topic: Blind date finale  (Read 1983 times)
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kathode
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« on: October 11, 2004, 02:41:15 PM »

Ok, so here's a quick recap:

1) Had tickets to see Beastie Boys.  Posted an ad on Craigs List, talked to a cool girl, and made the date for Friday.

2) Thursday afternoon, she cancels, saying she has to work late but hopes she can make it up with dinner sometime.  I email back saying "we could go late and it'd be fine" but she says no dice, let her know how it is, and sorry.  She also again says we should definitely get together sometime later.

3) I get a coworker to go to the show with me, write her and say "Hope you don't feel bad, it's totally fine" and reiterate that I'd like to see her.  No response to this email.

4) I write her Saturday after the show and tell her how it went and say I hope she had a good time and say "hope to hear from you soon!"  No response as of yet.

5) Here's the kicker - Last night I was surfing Craig's List and I see a new personal that I'm 99.9% sure is her.  Unless there are actually tons of girls out there who list PBR and rockabilly as major interests, I'd say the similarities are striking and unmistakable.

So anyway, I think it's pretty obvious that I did or said something that made this girl suddenly lose interest.  I'm just wondering if anyone thinks that it's worth it to drop her one more line and just say something like "Hey, haven't heard from you.  Hope stuff is ok.  Here's my number, call me if you're free and want to hang out."  And if so, should I just go ahead and do it, or wait another day or two?  The last time I heard from her was Thursday, and the last time I emailed her was Saturday before noon.  I'm like Jon Favreau in Swingers, I want everything to happen right away smile  Anyway, thanks for the advice!
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CSL
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« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2004, 02:44:20 PM »

She doesn't want you, the previous two or three messages you left getting no response as you say. Now I don't have much experience in these matters but get over her.
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Zekester
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« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2004, 02:48:30 PM »

I agree with CSL
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wankerjr
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« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2004, 02:49:34 PM »

Though I have no experience in these matters I still dispense advice.

Just play it cool and wait a day or two before contacting either again. If they're not interested, they aren't interested.
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AgtFox
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« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2004, 02:52:43 PM »

Just from what you wrote here I'm willing to bet she is seeing you as being desperate, usually not a trait many women get the hots for.  You should have just contacted her once and then let her contact you back instead of you contacting her over and over with little to no response.  It's a sign of desperation on your part even though you are excusing the desperation by saying how fun it was even though she wasn't there.

Just my thoughts though...I didn't read too much into your thread when it was on GG.
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Koz
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« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2004, 02:53:16 PM »

This one's done, time to go off and find the next one.

At least you didn't invest anything into her besides a little bit of time. I'd try and find someone who actually seems interested in you.
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HarveyB
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« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2004, 02:57:04 PM »

Similar to an experience I had with someone I met on match.com.  We went out 3 times, had a great time and I thought things were just humming along. We had plans for a fourth date, when out of the blue I get an email saying, in effect, "You're a great guy, but I'm getting back with my old boyfriend".  One week later she was back on match.com.

About two months after this, I needed her help for a project for work that I knew she could offer some assistance in. I dropped her a line saying I hope she was well, etc., and could she help on a project for a couple of hours.  I got no reply at all. It's not as though I was stalking her, or begging her to come back.  I just needed her to help for a couple of hours.

Women. If I understood them I'd still be married.
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Jaddison
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« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2004, 02:57:17 PM »

I have to agree with the desperation assessment.  Women shy away from perceived deperation pretty quick.  Your best bet would be to not contact her period until she contacts you and if she doesn't let it go.

Don't forget that the Favreau character didn't get the girl until he withstood the impulse to call right away...and then the girl called him.

Women can smell desperation or intuit it or both and most run.  The only ones who don't are depserate themselves and you don't want them believe me.
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kathode
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« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2004, 02:57:36 PM »

Ah well, you're probably right.  Maybe I'll drop her a very brief note late Tuesday or Wednesday just in case she left for the long weekend or something, but you're probably right that she's just gone.  Well, one down, three billion or so to go smile
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dbt1949
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« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2004, 02:58:23 PM »

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Jaddison
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« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2004, 03:18:28 PM »

I know why you want to drop her a brief note, been there and walked in those shoes...don't do it as much for your own psyche as anything else.

Remeber it really isn't personal, she doesn't really know you so she is not rejecting you.  there are many women out there and you will find the right "fit" if you are patient and don't give in to wanting to find her, whoever she is, fast by trying to make someone "fit".

I know this advice is hard to follow but believe me I have chased off more than a few by moving too fast or being too eager, it is not attractive to women no matter what they say.
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pr0ner
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« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2004, 04:54:11 PM »

Great pic, dbt.
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