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Author Topic: Bad bad day  (Read 723 times)
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Kev199
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« on: March 18, 2010, 04:44:23 PM »

While I was celebrating St. Patrick's Day, my Dad was dying.  I didn't know of course but I found out this morning he passed away yesterday.  The worst call I have ever received (from my mom).  If that wasn't bad enough, my Grandmother (my dad's mom) died three minutes after my Dad.  They have both been sick for a while, but they were at hospitals on opposite sides of the Country.  Three minutes.  I was out having one of the best nights of my life and two members of my family died.  I guess I'm still in a bit of shock about it.  I have two brothers back in the States to be with my Mom to help her sort out things and I'll be back for the memorial services.  I don't think I'll be celebrating on St. Paddy's Day again since I'll basically remember it as the worst day of my life even if I didn't know it at the time.  icon_frown

It's hard to not be home when this happens since I don't have a bunch of close friends to talk to in person over here.  I thought I prepared myself for these losses, but you can never prepare for when it happens.  Cancer is an awful disease that will hopefully be cured within my lifetime.

Thank you for reading.
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Teggy
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« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2010, 04:46:43 PM »

Very sorry for your losses. Hopefully the time until you'll be back with your family will pass quickly.
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CeeKay
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2010, 04:47:45 PM »

ouch, sorry for your losses.
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Bcarle
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« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2010, 04:50:41 PM »

I am so sorry for your losses. You and your family are in my prayers.


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« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2010, 04:53:00 PM »

That's horrible. Perhaps it being one of the best days of your life has to do with the life within them being able to reach you directly - I hope you can find solace in them having a good life with a good family and friends.

I'm not one to mourn a person; none of us are getting out of this alive. Celebrate their life and hold dear the moments you remember.
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Jaddison
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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2010, 05:12:05 PM »

Really sorry to hear of your double loss.  i have experienced a lot of death over the last few years, grandmother, favorite aunt, mother, step-father, my dog and a close friend just died of breast cancer at 52, so I have a fair idea how you must feel.

Don't beat yourself up too badly about being out and happy while this happened.  i imagine they both wish you every bit of happiness you can find in life.
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Huw the Poo
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« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2010, 05:21:27 PM »

Quote from: Jaddison on March 18, 2010, 05:12:05 PM

Don't beat yourself up too badly about being out and happy while this happened.  i imagine they both wish you every bit of happiness you can find in life.

Agreed.  If it were me I would raise a glass to them both on future St Patrick's days.  In any case, though, sorry to hear about it.  I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
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« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2010, 05:21:52 PM »

my thoughts are with you, Kev.   icon_cry
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« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2010, 05:24:04 PM »

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.
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Harkonis
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« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2010, 05:37:41 PM »

thoughts are with you, hope things improve for you in short order. frown
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LoneStarSpur
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« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2010, 05:57:02 PM »

 icon_frown Sorry for your losses.
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« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2010, 06:00:09 PM »

Sorry for your loss. 
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« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2010, 06:19:03 PM »

My condolences to you and your family.
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« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2010, 06:28:12 PM »

Sorry, and speechless. frown
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« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2010, 07:05:52 PM »

Sorry for your losses.
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« Reply #15 on: March 18, 2010, 07:30:16 PM »

Kevin - I'm so sorry.  Nothing I can say will make this better, but if you need anything you have but to ask.
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« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2010, 07:31:59 PM »

Sorry for your losses.
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Einsteinium
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« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2010, 08:27:44 PM »

I always try to honor those I've known and lost by imparting the best parts of them into my life in some manner. I never pretend that I'll think about them everyday, or that I'll live my life to their example, but I do something memorable that will bring around a reminder of them at points in the future.

In the words of Cato the Elder, "I'd rather have people asking why there isn't a statue of me somewhere, then asking why I have one."

I hope that you can hold on to fond memories of them. My condolences.
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« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2010, 08:47:47 PM »

My condolences Kev, we'll be sending some good vibes your way.
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« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2010, 08:48:19 PM »

Sorry to hear about your losses.  My condolences to you and your family.
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Ironrod
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« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2010, 08:48:29 PM »

Quote from: Huw the Poo on March 18, 2010, 05:21:27 PM

Quote from: Jaddison on March 18, 2010, 05:12:05 PM

Don't beat yourself up too badly about being out and happy while this happened.  i imagine they both wish you every bit of happiness you can find in life.

Agreed.  If it were me I would raise a glass to them both on future St Patrick's days.  In any case, though, sorry to hear about it.  I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

That's a good attitude.

My dad died six days before my 35th birthday -- a milestone that I was already depressed about anyway. It was the first time in my life that I'd lost someone that close to me, and it was a drawn-out hospital death that required some hard decisions about his care -- a really draining experience. Quite a few more birthdays went by before I could observe them without a dark cloud.

You have my condolences, btw.
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Blackjack
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« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2010, 10:00:14 PM »

I've always thought saying "my thoughts and prayers with you" doesn't really help much, but I always end up saying that anyway, as I do now.  icon_neutral

Cancer truly is insidious. I spoke at a 1-year-later memorial service last June for a friend and former fellow newspaper reporter who died from breast cancer in her early 50s. A former co-worker/copyeditor's 19 year old son is undergoing radical chemo and radiation treatments for cancer (lymph node I think), and is undergoing some experimental treatments at Johns Hopkins in a just about desperate attempt to find a cure so that he can make it to his 20th birthday. Cancer touches just about everyone. icon_frown

I had a fellow reporter friend, adopted, who lost her father and then her mother in the same week several years ago. Granted, they were in their 80s, were under caregivers' care, but still, it really was crushing. What we did at work was simply fill in for her and tell her to take as much time off as she felt she needed. I hope whomever you're working with can give you a bit of that same type of support.

I lost my father when I was 8 (1973), and my mom never remarried. She dated a bit, but he was a hard guy to live up to. I would still give anything to have had him in my life even one more year. I hope you got to know your dad a lot longer, and that your cherished memories of him provide some solace now. Peace.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2010, 10:04:32 PM by Blackjack » Logged

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