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Author Topic: Awesomely Bad Movies  (Read 2031 times)
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Einsteinium
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« on: October 20, 2009, 02:52:53 AM »

I wanted to see what everyone had as the most awesomely bad movies they have ever seen. So bad they are funny, in an MST3K/Film Crew/RiffTrax kind of way. Two that I can recall recently:

1. Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

- Jesus is resurrected in Canada to fight a rising tide of lesbian vampires. He knows kung fu, he has a lucha libre Saint named El Santo, and a sidekick named Mary Magnum. It's also a musical.

2. Reign In Darkness

- New Zealand biochemical researcher Michael Dorn (character name, not the actor) is working on a cure for AIDS, but ends up making a formula to create vampires. And he becomes sort of like the Highlander, as he returns to his apartment "to retrieve [his] sword and gun.

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kronovan
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« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2009, 03:26:24 AM »

The Street Fighter movie with Jackie Chan. Now that was a stinker. I'd describe it a bit, but it's really not worth the effort.  puke
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dback99
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« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2009, 03:36:41 AM »

The Dark Backward for me was the greatest worst movie ever made...I think this quote from IMDB sums it up:

"If you like this movie you deserve to die.  Why this movie has above a 1.0 is beyond me. It was so horrible, and I wish painful deaths on all those involved. I want the writers to eat poison."

In case you don't know what its about, A garbage man played by Judd Nelson pursues stand-up comedy encouraged by his fellow garbage man. Though his friend, who accompanies him on accordion, continues to tell him how great he is, he actually stinks. When the "comedian" grows a third arm out of his back, the friend uses this twist to get him signed up with a sleazy talent agent, who happens to be Wayne Netwon..   Seriously, I can't make this up.  
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« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2009, 03:40:45 AM »

Quote from: Einsteinium on October 20, 2009, 02:52:53 AM

1. Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

- Jesus is resurrected in Canada to fight a rising tide of lesbian vampires. He knows kung fu, he has a lucha libre Saint named El Santo, and a sidekick named Mary Magnum. It's also a musical.

Sounds like a great popcorn flick until that last part. A MUSICAL?!?  saywhat
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Isgrimnur
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« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2009, 04:06:59 AM »

There's a musical number or two, but most of it's straight cheese.  And it answers the age old question: Just how many atheists can you fit in a Jeep?
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« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2009, 04:35:11 AM »

Shakes the Clown. Among my all-time favorites.
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ravenvii
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« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2009, 05:15:30 AM »

Does Killer Klowns from Outer Space count? So bad it's awesome!
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Nth Power
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« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2009, 09:51:23 AM »

Quote from: ravenvii on October 20, 2009, 05:15:30 AM

Does Killer Klowns from Outer Space count? So bad it's awesome!
I love that movie!  thumbsup

Some of the Troma stuff comes to mind :
The Toxic Avenger
Nuke 'Em High
and the fairly recent Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
-- all awesome.
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TK-421
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« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2009, 11:03:55 AM »

Quote from: dback99 on October 20, 2009, 03:36:41 AM

The Dark Backward for me was the greatest worst movie ever made...I think this quote from IMDB sums it up:

"If you like this movie you deserve to die.  Why this movie has above a 1.0 is beyond me. It was so horrible, and I wish painful deaths on all those involved. I want the writers to eat poison."

In case you don't know what its about, A garbage man played by Judd Nelson pursues stand-up comedy encouraged by his fellow garbage man. Though his friend, who accompanies him on accordion, continues to tell him how great he is, he actually stinks. When the "comedian" grows a third arm out of his back, the friend uses this twist to get him signed up with a sleazy talent agent, who happens to be Wayne Netwon..   Seriously, I can't make this up.  

How could you leave out the fact that the accordian playing friend is Bill Paxton?!

As for me, my favorite awesomely bad movie is Starcrash.  Starring former Bond girl Carolyn Munroe, this is absolutely the worst of a slew of movies looking to cash in on the popularity of Star Wars.  This movie has it all, bad acting, horribly music, terrible special effects (including several Harryhausen moments), and a laughably bad evil overlord named Zarth Arn.  It also has the added benefit of the Hoff himself as a space prince.  

This movie used to be available on Netflix but the last time I looked it was no longer listed.  If you can find it, rent it and gather 'round any friends who like to do the MST3K treatment and watch this together.

This is the perfect example of how wonderfully awful this movie is.
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« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2009, 01:24:39 PM »

Repo!  The Genetic Opera

Summary:  In the year 2056 - the not so distant future - an epidemic of organ failures devastates the planet. Out of the tragedy, a savior emerges: GeneCo, a biotech company that offers organ transplants, for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted by villainous Repo Men. In a world where surgery addicts are hooked on painkilling drugs and murder is sanctioned by law, a sheltered young girl searches for the cure to her own rare disease as well as information about her family's mysterious history. After being sucked into the haunting world of GeneCo, she is unable to turn back, as all of her questions will be answered at the wildly anticipated spectacular event: The Genetic Opera.

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« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2009, 03:07:07 PM »

This far and nobody has mentioned Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon??

Youtube goodness for Sho Nuff - the Shogun of Harlem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--N1Q8D6dqE

Yes, I own this on DVD.
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Einsteinium
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« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2009, 05:41:53 PM »

There are also those movies that are so terrible that it kills a decent actor to make them, literally..

Offered Proof:

Raul Julia in Street Fighter.
Bela Lugosi in ANY/EVERY Ed Wood Movie
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« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2009, 05:52:14 PM »

Invasion USA. Terrorists come into America via landing craft, then invade Atlanta at the end. 
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« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2009, 06:05:48 PM »

Ice Pirates.. Haven't seen it in years and now I want to!
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« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2009, 06:08:03 PM »

No "worst of" list of films is complete without mentioning Rat Pfink a Boo Boo.  



Legend has it that the movie was originally called Rat Pfink AND Boo Boo, but when they got the lobby posters back from the printer they discovered the typo...but didn't have enough cash to get them fixed (I guess they submitted it with the typo originally) so changed the film's name instead.

Also, to make it look like our heroes were being celebrated by their city with a ticker tape parade, the director had his stars ride their motorcycle into the middle of a 4th of July parade and pretend it was being held in their honor.  The cutaway shots of a confused crowd pointing and mouthing "what the..." is priceless....
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metallicorphan
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« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2009, 06:12:15 PM »

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Great Cast,crazy story,shit effects...great film,LOL
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« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2009, 07:03:38 PM »

Run, Ronnie, Run!  a movie disowned by both it's writers.  so bad they didn't even want to be paid for it.

Quote
Ronnie Dobbs, (David Cross) a redneck petty criminal whose scams were caught on tape by a Cops-like television show called Fuzz, is noticed by failing infomercial personality/inventor Terry Twillstein (Bob Odenkirk), who sees Dobbs's popularity with lowbrow viewers. He promotes the idea to television executives for a show, "Ronnie Dobbs Gets Arrested" in which he is arrested in a different city each week. The show becomes phenomenally successful, making Dobbs rich and famous and changing his life dramatically.
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Jaddison
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« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2009, 07:46:13 PM »

Glitter.....I don't believe there are many movies that could top it.
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TK-421
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« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2009, 08:07:14 PM »

Quote from: Jaddison on October 21, 2009, 07:46:13 PM

Glitter.....I don't believe there are many movies that could top it.

I think the point of awesomely bad movies is that you still want to watch it despite how awful it is.

I can't imagine anybody actually wanting to watch Glitter ever.
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« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2009, 08:12:27 PM »

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« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2009, 08:25:41 PM »

Drowning Mona. Good cast that's absolutely wasted. It was on TV last night and I couldn't stand any of the characters. They were all acting like jerks.
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« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2009, 08:39:18 PM »

Quote from: Rumpy on October 21, 2009, 08:25:41 PM

Drowning Mona. Good cast that's absolutely wasted. It was on TV last night and I couldn't stand any of the characters. They were all acting like jerks.
I paid money to see that in theaters.  I regret that decision to this day.  Almost as much as I regret letting my friends drag tme to see To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.
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« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2009, 08:56:36 PM »

Heh... 'drag'....
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« Reply #23 on: October 21, 2009, 10:32:25 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on October 21, 2009, 05:52:14 PM

Invasion USA. Terrorists come into America via landing craft, then invade Atlanta at the end.  

I may or may not have been in that movie in my youth.  ninja

And Chuck Norris is on his way to your house to remind you how awesome it is....with his fist.


I will add Solarbabies to the mix.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3AENOLgxaU

Desolate future : check
Water is the most valuable commodity : check
All powerful alien glowing orb : check
Group of ragtag misfit kids who save the day on roller skates : errr check?
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« Reply #24 on: October 21, 2009, 10:56:41 PM »

For some reason this movie popped into my head the other day...

SOLO!!

I regret not going to see it at the dollar theater as planned, i spent that final dollar on pinball instead.
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WorkingMike
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« Reply #25 on: October 22, 2009, 12:25:19 AM »

I give you Superfuzz

which is only slightly less awesome than Cyborg

and that brings us to this gem, finally available on dvd - Hardware

Mechs anyone?

Prepare to die Earth scum!



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« Reply #26 on: October 22, 2009, 12:32:42 AM »

Quote from: WorkingMike on October 22, 2009, 12:25:19 AM

I give you Superfuzz


that reminds me of Heartbeeps.
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« Reply #27 on: October 23, 2009, 03:33:39 AM »

Joe Don Baker, in Mitchell. 

I particularly like the MST3K sendup.
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« Reply #28 on: October 23, 2009, 03:55:11 AM »

Quote from: WorkingMike on October 22, 2009, 12:25:19 AM

I give you Superfuzz

Man, I saw that movie a ton of times on HBO in the 80s. It was great!
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« Reply #29 on: October 23, 2009, 08:19:39 AM »

...and lo, the sixth seal was broken, as I let thee upon the world.

I give you, R.O.T.O.R., easily the worst movie ever made. Staring professional body builders, no budget, switch blade combs, and Senso-Vision, its achieved cult status at all levels in my life.

Watch and try not to punch yourself in the face to make it stop!
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« Reply #30 on: October 23, 2009, 04:19:14 PM »

C.H.U.D.

The atomic submarine

Xanadu

Times Square (which somehow became a cult hit on the ship I was on during a Med deployment)

Lair of the White Worm
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« Reply #31 on: October 23, 2009, 05:27:44 PM »

You do not list "Lair of the White Worm" in the same column as "Xanadu" unless you've recently experienced some form of head trauma...
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« Reply #32 on: October 23, 2009, 05:49:48 PM »

I saw "Cemetary Man" the other night.  It qualifies.
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« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2009, 05:51:29 PM »

Quote from: RuperT on October 23, 2009, 05:49:48 PM

I saw "Cemetary Man" the other night.  It qualifies.

the hot naked busty chick negates any bad.
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« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2009, 06:00:53 PM »

Lair of the White Worm and Xanadu are at opposite ends of Awesomely Bad and since space-time is curved they actually are right next to each other
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« Reply #35 on: October 23, 2009, 07:34:42 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on October 22, 2009, 12:32:42 AM

Quote from: WorkingMike on October 22, 2009, 12:25:19 AM

I give you Superfuzz


that reminds me of Heartbeeps.

I'm sad to say I saw both of those movies in theaters and remember it. Hell I can recall acting like I was Super Fuzz on the playground.

Nice little trivia about Heartbeeps - John Williams wrote the score for it.

Another movie I saw in theaters I kinda want to add to this group is Saturday the 14th. I only vaguely recall it but I get the sense it was fun.  One for sure I'll add to the list is Modern Problems with Chevy Chase.
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« Reply #36 on: October 23, 2009, 07:36:22 PM »

My personal favorite.

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ravenvii
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« Reply #37 on: October 23, 2009, 07:46:10 PM »

Quote from: Rubyeye on October 23, 2009, 07:36:22 PM

My personal favorite.



Tripod has their own movie?
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TK-421
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« Reply #38 on: October 23, 2009, 08:19:09 PM »

Somewhat apropos:


[You think it's so legendarily bad that you'll torrent it and sit through it just for the kitschy nerd cred.  I, too, once thought as you did.]
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« Reply #39 on: October 23, 2009, 09:00:55 PM »

By far, THE CRAPPENING was the most awesomely bad movie I've ever seen.  Horrible scripting, acting and terrible direction all fill out a just absolutely awful movie.  Normally good actors are rendered into terrible ones.  Gratuitous violence and child killing is used to garner an R rating.  The cut I watched I clearly saw the microphone/boom come into the shot twice.  And finally, Betty Buckley's insane performance takes it just over the top.  I almost want to rewatch it now lol.
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