What'd you do with your weekend?
Allow me to preface this by saying, "You asked."
I have one thing to say. In-laws.
They were scheduled to arrive at 11:30pm Friday night. Which would give me plenty of time to "prepare" for their arrival with happy hour (which we all know never
lasts just one hour
). A co-worker and I left the office around 3 to play pool for the evening. He has been harassing me to play for a while now, and so Friday was as good a day as any. My co-worker (actually, one of the minions that reports to me) is actually quite good and it was refreshing to finally play against true competition. I finished the night having won 6 of our 16 games, which normally would irritate me, but he has been playing for over 20 years and each game came down to the wire. I even found myself playing up
to my competition and that really helped my confidence in playing pool.
After about five hours of drinking and shooting pool I headed home to continue "preparing" for my in-laws' arrival with more beer and a few rounds of COD4 (my clan tag became [InLw] for the night
). My wife had offered to pick them up at the airport so there was no need for me to be sober in any way. I didn't even have to go along.
Or so I thought.
At around 10:30pm the phone rings and my in-laws have already touched down and are heading to baggage claim.
I ran upstairs to let my wife know and she was passed out in bed with a damp cloth over her face.
WTF? When I asked if she was okay, she apparently had a headache from the cosmopolitans she fired down with her boss after work and was also rather nauseous. So much for her intentions to pick up her parents at the airport.
Off I go to the airport. I should probably just call Sheriff Joe and make reservations at the Buckeye Tent Prison. When I arrived at the airport I couldn't even pull over to the curb before the slightly too
enthusiastic police officer was waving me on rather adamantly. Not exactly a good situation for an irritated, slightly intoxicated PeteRock to be in. I at first thought I could utilize traffic to my advantage by being unable to pull away from the curb, but he was "kind" enough to stop traffic for
me. Great. Oh, and a word of advice to the group. When your windows and sunroof are open, do not scream "fucking dickwad" at a police officer while driving by. Simply trust me on this one, as you will soon learn why.
Before I reached the end of the terminal I finally saw my in-laws and was able to pull over to stop again. But it was then that I also learned that cursing at the police officer who forced me to move from my original position was a bad idea as he had been chasing my car along the terminal and was a-runnin' along the curb directly for me
to tell me to move yet again. Even though he could clearly see that I was loading my father-in-law's fucking golf clubs into my car, indicating that I wasn't just stopped there to people-watch. Perhaps, "I'll move when I'm done loading the fucking car," was not the best way to continue my discourse with the police officer, especially after having had a little to drink over the course of the night, but before I could be handcuffed and chauffeured to Buckeye Tent Prison sans passing Go or collecting any sort of monetary compensation, another car came speeding through the terminal, almost clipped a pedestrian, and ran a stop sign at the end of the terminal. My favorite neighborhood policeman found a more interesting pursuit and quickly forgot about me.
This all certainly made for an interesting ride home.
M.I.L. - "Why do you smell like beer?"
Me - "Because I was drinking
F.I.L - <<laughter>>
M.I.L. - "And you're driving
Me - "Yep. Didn't think you wanted to walk. Although it is a nice night."
M.I.L. - "Where is my daughter, and why didn't SHE pick us up?!?! Surely SHE is a little more responsible.
Me - "She's at home, drunker than I am."
F.I.L. - <<harder laughter>>
M.I.L. - "Why were you two drinking?
Me - "Um, we're really happy you could visit with us."
Silence for the rest of the drive home.Saturday
Dropped off the dogs at the boarding kennel and headed toward the Clarkdale/Jerome area for the weekend. Our first stop was the Clarkdale train station for a scenic four hour train ride through beautiful canyons and mountains on the Verde Canyon Railroad
. The train had indoor seating, a snack bar stocked with beer
(both my father-in-law's and my own eyes lit up at this little tidbit), and an outdoor car with benches and sun shades.
M.I.L. - "But you're
not drinking beer."
Me - "Um, why the 'F' not?"
M.I.L. - "Because, you shouldn't 'need' to."
Me - "Have you met my mother-in-law?" (this I kept as a thought to myself) "I don't 'need' to, I 'want' to. Right Terry?"
F.I.L. - "Yep." <<more irritated silence>>
We would be able to ride outside
and take in all of the scenery, look for bald eagles, and just enjoy the day's beautiful weather. All while drinking local microbrews from the Sedona area. The ride was amazing. My father-in-law and I enjoyed a number of cold beers, the stunning scenery, and the silence associated with my mother-in-law being preoccupied with her daughter.
The train ride was a blast, my father-in-law and I had a great time trying new local beers and taking in the scenery, and at the end of the ride we had plenty of pictures (and a $75 bar tab). From the train station we headed to our hotel to change for dinner. But not before stopping at a local grocery for more
beer at my father-in-law's request. I love that man.
We had a few more cold ones, and then we headed to Jerome for dinner at the Jerome Grand Hotel Asylum Restaurant
, winner of numerous awards for fine dining and amazing wines. Plus, the place is rumored to be haunted. Dinner was unbelievable. Sparkling Shiraz as an apertif, followed by a spicy squash soup paired with a phenomenal South American Grenache , and then rack of lamb paired with one of the best petite syrah's I have ever had. The in-laws were thoroughly impressed, dinner was one of the best meals we have had in quite a while, the scenery was breathtaking, the haunted stories shared by our waiter were entertaining and a bit creepy (the hotel was extremely
creepy), and it was a hell of a day. Sunday
Back to Jerome for shopping and more fantastic food. Our day started at the Mile High Bar and Grill for breakfast. And lots
of coffee. Breakfast consisted of their own special take on eggs benedict. Two egg mcmuffins topped with fresh crab cakes, two eggs any style (I went with over-easy), pepper jack cheese, and a roasted red pepper aioli. Phenomenal.
And then the shopping started. And continued. And continued. And went on. And continued to go on. And went on some more. My father-in-law and I were near our wit's end with all of the shopping, until we stumbled upon the Spirit Room. My father-in-law and I have developed a fantastic relationship, and without even having to speak a single word we both nodded at each other in recognition, quietly walked inside the Spirit Room, ordered a round, and relaxed while the ladyfolk shopped for another three hours. And we witnessed further proof that our wives know us too
well as they walked in after three hours of not even noticing that we had disappeared and said, "We knew
we'd find you two here."
We returned home Sunday evening, picked up the dogs from the kennel, gave them both baths, and the weekend had finally come to a close. Only 10 more days of visiting in-laws.