[odd news] Priorities...we all have them.

[hepcat]

Guy breaks into house.  Gets busy with himself...but is naturally distracted by the awesomeness that is a remote controlled helicopter.

Read the confession.  It's worth the price of admission alone.

“I know this sounds weird, but RC helicopters are real fun! I must of lost track of time, but I was flying it around all over the upstairs. I was getting pretty good. I decided to take a break and eat my salad that I brought with me. I even brought a super good balsamic vinaigrette to put on it. After I ate my salad, I had another urge to masturbate.

Hopefully, you guys won’t tell the media that I was beating off in a stranger’s house. Do you think if I bought a fresh pack of 4 AA batteries to give to those people they would let me off?”

p.s. for those wondering, yes...of course it was in Florida.

[Ironrod]

Make it 8 batteries and we can talk.

[Andrew Wonser]

I really wish he had said all those things in the story.

[hepcat]

Yeah, the confession is dramatized for comedic effect, but the guy did do all that stuff.

[Knightshade Dragon]

Listen...I like remote control helicopters as much as the next guy, but seriously.....   

I think if the news presented stuff like this instead of the usual doom and gloom I'd watch ever night. 

[Harpua3]

This guys got it good. I'm at the point where I can't pleasure myself unless I'm flying a rc heli.

[PeteRock]

Hopefully, you guys won’t tell the media that I was beating off in a stranger’s house. Do you think if I bought a fresh pack of 4 AA batteries to give to those people they would get me off?”

Must have been edited for release to the public.