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Author Topic: [Movie] The Crappening (spoilers?)  (Read 2893 times)
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rittchard
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« on: June 14, 2008, 09:52:11 PM »

I'm not sure if it counts as spoilers when a movie has so little plot to spoil, but I thought I'd label it just in case.  I guess in some sense it's a spoiler to say there isn't much plot.

Where do I begin?  Rarely do I feel compelled to talk that much about any movie, so I suppose on some level this one must have succeeded.  For those that don't know me, I'm generally very forgiving with movies and I have a very eclectic taste.  I can generally find something to make myself enjoy just about any movie. 

That said, this one took me by surprise.  I counted myself a big M Night fan after Sixth Sense and Unbreakable.  I liked Signs (although now I can see some of the pretentiousness creeping in) and even The Village, but passed on seeing Lady in the Water.   The previews for this one looked good, with creepy imagery and what seemed like an interesting premise.

Unfortunately, what started out seeming good, ultimately felt like a disaster.  Like the Lakers in Game 4, I don't even know where to start or who to blame, pretty much everything was pretty bad.  Start with the script.  Some horrible dialogue creating extremely awkward moments where they didn't belong.  Some forced lines in the beginning just come out of the blue and you're wondering "where the hell did that come from?"  The acting and direction didn't help.  Possibly Mark Wahlberg's worst performance ever, and John Leguizamo's as well.  Thankfully for him he wasn't in it much.  Then the lead actress Zooey something, wow she was horrible, as was the annoying brat girl.  I swear in the tons of movies I've seen I have never seen such an awkward or poor chemistry between 2 actors supposedly married/in love (Wahlberg and Zooey).  It's so awkward when she first appears you don't even realize they are married.  There's supposed to be some "tension" from a fight or something, but it just comes across... ugh.  A running subplot about her "cheating" on him was misplaced, poorly written and flat out stupid.  Wahlberg is horrible playing Mr. Everyman with so much sincerity; I think his best acting job for this movie was appearing on talk shows and saying how scary the movie was when he saw it.  Anyway I could go on and on about the bad acting but I won't.  Except to say look out for Betty Buckley.  Eight is enough, holy crap.  She actually steals the movie with an absolutely insane few minutes of sheer.... insanity.  I almost want to see the movie again just to laugh at her performance.  Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh some more.

So OK, back to the movie itself.  You know the main drill, people start killing themselves at Central Park for an inexplicable reason.  You can almost imagine M Night sitting in the park staring at people and then thinking, "wow wouldn't it be cool if these people just started killing themselves?  what a neat movie idea!"  So then he tries to build a full movie around this threadbare concept.  There's still tons of potential, so many directions to turn, but all wasted.  He tries to use an older movie style of music and direction to create tension but honestly it just felt amateurish to me.  And then, each time you get some creepy interesting moments and think the movie is going to take off, it just... doesn't, and finally just ends in a fairly predictable whimper.  In terms of story/plot, it's essentially War of the Worlds (the Tom Cruise version) but without ANY special effects.  Unless you consider a wind generator special effects, because that's about all you're going to see.  Wind blowing through trees.  Through the grass.  Through an opening.  OMFG.  Mark Wahlberg vs. the Wind.

Oh yeah, best scene in the movie.  They're sitting at this table in a model home filled with plastic fake food and stuff.  And then something seems to be shifting down towards the little girl.  I was like, here it is, here's the twist where the movie is going to take off, come on, come on, come on... BAM!!! turns out it was a frickin' boom/microphone lol!!!  I almost exploded in laughter.  It shows up again in the same scene, absolutely unbelievable.  Did anyone screen this film?  Low budget is one thing, but come on!

While I understand what he was trying to do, I think M Night has gone off his rocker with his own self absorbed pretentious movie making.  The writing and direction both felt rushed and amateurish, almost George Lucas purposely so.  The R rating was 100% gratuitous and unnecessary, the most cheap and lame R rating I've ever seen (essentially for a couple of needless gory suicide sequences and the shooting of 2 kids). 

Bad bad bad bad movie, possibly one of the worst I've ever seen.  I could only recommend this with an eye on making fun of it.
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« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2008, 10:56:05 PM »

His career is on a crash-and-burn of Halle Berry-ian proportions.

It's a shame, he seemed at one time to be one of the next great filmmakers. I have no desire to see this, after "Bitch in the Pool" turned out to be one of the worst movies I've ever watched. How you make a crap movie with Paul Giamatti is beyond me. I could make a film of Paul Giamatti sitting on the can reading a phonebook and probably get at least 2 Oscar nods.
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« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2008, 10:59:33 PM »

yep, this one was pretty bad.
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« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2008, 01:02:52 AM »

this was a terrible movie.  It's two hours of my life I will never get back.


The running joke amongst my friends was '"The trees did it."   


This movie was just plain bad
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« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2008, 02:08:49 AM »

Sounds to me he should really be making an effort to make a movie that DON`T involve something supernatural, I have seen "The sixth sense", "Unbreakable" and "Signs" but I got tired of his narrow movie making in regards to the supernatural so I have skipped all his movies since then.

Sounds like he is milking the cow to me, couse naturally I haven`t seen this one, and I don`t plan to either.
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« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2008, 02:40:23 AM »

Quote from: Archangel on June 15, 2008, 02:08:49 AM

Sounds to me he should really be making an effort to make a movie that DON`T involve something supernatural, I have seen "The sixth sense", "Unbreakable" and "Signs" but I got tired of his narrow movie making in regards to the supernatural so I have skipped all his movies since then.

I don't think this one involves anything supernatural....
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« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2008, 04:26:30 AM »

Quote from: CeeKay on June 15, 2008, 02:40:23 AM

Quote from: Archangel on June 15, 2008, 02:08:49 AM

Sounds to me he should really be making an effort to make a movie that DON`T involve something supernatural, I have seen "The sixth sense", "Unbreakable" and "Signs" but I got tired of his narrow movie making in regards to the supernatural so I have skipped all his movies since then.

I don't think this one involves anything supernatural....

While that's true, I agree with Archangel's point.  Every movie the guy makes is similar.  I'd like to see if he can make a different kind of film.  The "Robot Chicken" parody about every movie being the same is now less over the top than the actual course of M's career.

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« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2008, 06:13:48 AM »

too bad, i thought this one had more potential than BitP, especially considering the cast and the initial premise.

he keeps this up, and he'll be worse than uwe boll. 
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PR_GMR
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« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2008, 05:21:38 PM »

 icon_lol icon_lol at 'The Crappening'.

Shaymalan has gone off his rocker, indeed.
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« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2008, 06:33:27 PM »

maybe the twist this time was the fact that the movie was horrible....
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« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2008, 07:56:14 PM »

He ought to direct a movie he hasn't written.
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« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2008, 08:14:51 PM »

It's amazing people still give him money to make movies, he's made 1 good movie (6th sense). Just because you have a "twist" in the end doesn't make up for the fact that the rest of the movie sucks.
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« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2008, 09:01:15 PM »

Too bad. Not that I won't see it at some point, but I'm a fan of sci fi / fantasy and I like when they're successful; not just for myself but for other non-genre fans to see what the big deal is about.

Again, I'll see the movie - perhaps on DVD - but it's disappointing to hear so much negativity.

Was Zooey Deschanel as bland as she was in 'Tin Man'? She's cute but I think her performances are a bit uneven; like she can't decide how she's going to approach any character or scene.

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« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2008, 09:27:29 PM »

Quote from: Pong on June 15, 2008, 08:14:51 PM

It's amazing people still give him money to make movies, he's made 1 good movie (6th sense). Just because you have a "twist" in the end doesn't make up for the fact that the rest of the movie sucks.

Signs was good.
Unbreakable wasn't bad.
The Village was dull.
The Bitch in the Pool sucked ass.
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« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2008, 09:32:33 PM »

Since I wont be going to see this movie; what was it that was making people kill themselves?
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« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2008, 10:44:14 PM »

Quote from: drifter on June 15, 2008, 09:32:33 PM

Since I wont be going to see this movie; what was it that was making people kill themselves?
I haven't gone, but...

Quote from: Soulchilde on June 15, 2008, 01:02:52 AM

The running joke amongst my friends was '"The trees did it."
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« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2008, 10:57:54 PM »

Quote from: drifter on June 15, 2008, 09:32:33 PM

Since I wont be going to see this movie; what was it that was making people kill themselves?

Spoiler for Hiden:
Free screenings of "Bitch in the Pool"
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« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2008, 02:47:39 AM »

Rotten tomatoes gave it a 20! icon_lol
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rittchard
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« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2008, 03:45:23 AM »

Quote from: drifter on June 15, 2008, 09:32:33 PM

Since I wont be going to see this movie; what was it that was making people kill themselves?

(Again, a "spoiler" alert here with the caveat I'm not sure you can spoil this movie)

They never actually reveal exactly what it was.  That's supposed to be part of the movie's "mystique" - ooooh ahhhh so much depth.  The implication is that nature is pissed off at humans (and in particular nuclear generators) for their technology and have reacted by making some sort of neurotoxin that shuts off something in humans' brains that gives us the will to survive.  (Why this would naturally make people drive themselves to find inane and gruesome ways to commit suicide is not exactly clear.)  The super plants and grass can apparently communicate with each other, and apparently manipulate the wind to transfer the toxin.  Oh yeah, but apparently the power of love (and terrible acting) can create a shield bubble to protect you from the effect.  A lot of this is just implied/projected through different sources in the movie.

Another surprise, that Roeper dude actually recommended the movie and compares it to Hitchcock's The Birds.  I haven't seen all the Hitchcock films but I think M Night wishes he could lick Hitchcock's balls, and that's about the closest he'll get to be as being as good a director.
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« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2008, 05:41:25 AM »

Eh, The Sixth Sense was genius enough to last a lifetime. I put M up with Hitchcock for that one alone. I was also a huge fan of Signs, but then again I'm a whore for nearly anything Mel Gibson stars in.
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« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2008, 10:24:48 AM »

Quote from: Blackadar on June 15, 2008, 09:27:29 PM

Quote from: Pong on June 15, 2008, 08:14:51 PM

It's amazing people still give him money to make movies, he's made 1 good movie (6th sense). Just because you have a "twist" in the end doesn't make up for the fact that the rest of the movie sucks.

Signs was good.
Unbreakable wasn't bad.
The Village was dull.
The Bitch in the Pool sucked ass.

Signs was horrible. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Matter of taste off course smile
The Crappening looks even worse though. It needs zombies.
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« Reply #21 on: June 16, 2008, 10:31:45 AM »

Quote from: Pong on June 16, 2008, 10:24:48 AM

Quote from: Blackadar on June 15, 2008, 09:27:29 PM

Quote from: Pong on June 15, 2008, 08:14:51 PM

It's amazing people still give him money to make movies, he's made 1 good movie (6th sense). Just because you have a "twist" in the end doesn't make up for the fact that the rest of the movie sucks.

Signs was good.
Unbreakable wasn't bad.
The Village was dull.
The Bitch in the Pool sucked ass.

Signs was horrible. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Matter of taste off course smile
The Crappening looks even worse though. It needs zombies.

Stripper zombies?
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/zombiestrippers/trailer/
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« Reply #22 on: June 16, 2008, 11:35:42 AM »

Quote from: Pong on June 16, 2008, 10:24:48 AM


Signs was good.
Unbreakable wasn't bad.
The Village was dull.
The Bitch in the Pool sucked ass.

Signs was horrible. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Matter of taste off course smile
The Crappening looks even worse though. It needs zombies.
[/quote]


Zombies would have made this movie awesome
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« Reply #23 on: June 16, 2008, 11:47:39 AM »

Quote from: Soulchilde on June 16, 2008, 11:35:42 AM

Zombies would have made this movie awesome

Zombies make any bad movie a good bad movie.
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« Reply #24 on: June 16, 2008, 12:32:36 PM »

Quote from: Blackadar on June 16, 2008, 11:47:39 AM

Quote from: Soulchilde on June 16, 2008, 11:35:42 AM

Zombies would have made this movie awesome

Zombies make any bad movie a good bad movie.


Shut up with the Zombie talk on the Shyamalan thread. You don't know he could be skulking around the net, reading forums, looking for his next 'great idea' for a pretentious, 'spiritual' summer blockbuster. He comes across this thread. Next you know, we'll be watching a film about a sole character who dies of a long, painful unknown disease. After 2 hours of 'buildup', the character dies and comes back from the dead in the final frames of the film as a zombie. And Shyalaman casts himself in that role the whole way thru. He'll call it 'The Rising', and you suckers will pay 10 bucks next summer to see it.  Tongue
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« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2008, 02:35:35 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on June 16, 2008, 12:32:36 PM

Quote from: Blackadar on June 16, 2008, 11:47:39 AM

Quote from: Soulchilde on June 16, 2008, 11:35:42 AM

Zombies would have made this movie awesome

Zombies make any bad movie a good bad movie.


Shut up with the Zombie talk on the Shyamalan thread. You don't know he could be skulking around the net, reading forums, looking for his next 'great idea' for a pretentious, 'spiritual' summer blockbuster. He comes across this thread. Next you know, we'll be watching a film about a sole character who dies of a long, painful unknown disease. After 2 hours of 'buildup', the character dies and comes back from the dead in the final frames of the film as a zombie. And Shyalaman casts himself in that role the whole way thru. He'll call it 'The Rising', and you suckers will pay 10 bucks next summer to see it.  Tongue

no no no.... it'll be about a Zombie who eats someone, then starts feeling weird, and at the end becomes human.


and then gets shot by zombie hunters.
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« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2008, 02:47:21 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on June 16, 2008, 02:35:35 PM

Quote from: PR_GMR on June 16, 2008, 12:32:36 PM

Quote from: Blackadar on June 16, 2008, 11:47:39 AM

Quote from: Soulchilde on June 16, 2008, 11:35:42 AM

Zombies would have made this movie awesome

Zombies make any bad movie a good bad movie.


Shut up with the Zombie talk on the Shyamalan thread. You don't know he could be skulking around the net, reading forums, looking for his next 'great idea' for a pretentious, 'spiritual' summer blockbuster. He comes across this thread. Next you know, we'll be watching a film about a sole character who dies of a long, painful unknown disease. After 2 hours of 'buildup', the character dies and comes back from the dead in the final frames of the film as a zombie. And Shyalaman casts himself in that role the whole way thru. He'll call it 'The Rising', and you suckers will pay 10 bucks next summer to see it.  Tongue

no no no.... it'll be about a Zombie who eats someone, then starts feeling weird, and at the end becomes human.


and then gets shot by zombie hunters.

That actually has potential...
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« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2008, 03:16:27 PM »

Quote from: YellowKing on June 14, 2008, 10:56:05 PM

How you make a crap movie with Paul Giamatti is beyond me.

Make him the lead.  

He is one of my all time favorite supporting actors going at least as far back as the Howard Stern movie, whatever it was called.  But I am sorry to say that I might be the only person on the face of the earth who was bored to tears by Sideways and could give a good dog damned about the trendy joys found in a two hour exposition on Pinot Noir.  And then I went out of my way to see American Splendor in the theatres and it was merely passable.  It had some moments that came together in simply amazing fashion raising the otherwise bad film to "meh" status and there was nothing about Giamati that really made either movie worthwhile, even if he acted well in them.

But he always seems to magic as a supporting actor.

As to Shamalamadingdong, Signs was the last thing I saw by him.  I loved Sixth Sense once and Unbreakable gets better with multiple viewings but Signs could have been written and directed by an annoying fourteen year old who thinks himself way more clever than he is.  If emenight were fourteen, I'd shrug it off and encourage him to go deeper in his exploration and not grab at boring cliches that are not only cliched but unbelievable.  The two mix together horribly.  As he's not a fourteen year old trying to find his identity and voice as a writer, he lost all interest from me.  Even those who spoof him leave me all  Roll Eyes .
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« Reply #28 on: June 16, 2008, 06:23:37 PM »

American Splendor was pure cinematic bliss.  I thought it was a truly great film and that Paul nailed that incredibly fascinating character.

As for The Happening, I will watch it when it appears on the TNT or TBS high def channels...and only if there's nothing else on.
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« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2008, 10:47:24 PM »

What really bums me out is he is still picked to do the Avatar The Last Airbender movie. Stay away from my Katara damnit!
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« Reply #30 on: June 17, 2008, 12:22:21 AM »

Quote from: Andrew Wonser on June 16, 2008, 10:47:24 PM

What really bums me out is he is still picked to do the Avatar The Last Airbender movie. Stay away from my Katara damnit!

the twist will be he's not really the last Airbender.
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« Reply #31 on: June 17, 2008, 01:29:12 AM »

Quote from: CeeKay on June 17, 2008, 12:22:21 AM

Quote from: Andrew Wonser on June 16, 2008, 10:47:24 PM

What really bums me out is he is still picked to do the Avatar The Last Airbender movie. Stay away from my Katara damnit!

the twist will be he's not really the last Airbender.

Or that the Air bends him.
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« Reply #32 on: June 17, 2008, 01:15:24 PM »

Quote from: CrayolaSmoker on June 17, 2008, 01:29:12 AM

Quote from: CeeKay on June 17, 2008, 12:22:21 AM

Quote from: Andrew Wonser on June 16, 2008, 10:47:24 PM

What really bums me out is he is still picked to do the Avatar The Last Airbender movie. Stay away from my Katara damnit!

the twist will be he's not really the last Airbender.

Or that the Air bends him.

Turns out he doesn't bend air after all. He just breaks wind.
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« Reply #33 on: June 17, 2008, 07:19:39 PM »

Quote from: Andrew Wonser on June 16, 2008, 10:47:24 PM

What really bums me out is he is still picked to do the Avatar The Last Airbender movie. Stay away from my Katara damnit!

+1
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« Reply #34 on: June 17, 2008, 08:08:02 PM »

I'm surprised anyone actually went to this...

Zooey Deschanel is hot as fuck though.  I generally really, really like her, and wish she'd get cast more often in movies I would like.

She's #1 on the list.
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« Reply #35 on: June 17, 2008, 08:28:46 PM »

Quote from: kratz on June 17, 2008, 08:08:02 PM

I'm surprised anyone actually went to this...

Zooey Deschanel is hot as fuck though.  I generally really, really like her, and wish she'd get cast more often in movies I would like.

She's #1 on the list.

Really? #1? Yeah, she's cute...but #1?

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