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Author Topic: [movie] Conan the Barbarian  (Read 4922 times)
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hepcat
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« Reply #80 on: August 17, 2011, 05:41:54 PM »

I was going to catch a matinee but when I went to price body oil, it just became evident that it was going to cost me more than I thought.
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« Reply #81 on: August 17, 2011, 06:09:29 PM »

From the previews I was sort of afraid this would be totally mindless violence, but I guess that is the case.  Not that I have anything against violence itself, just that I wish there was more depth to the story.
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« Reply #82 on: August 18, 2011, 12:21:34 PM »

Early reviews are really harsh. So soak them up, people, and prepare to write your "I didn't think it was that bad" posts, which is often what has passed for enthusiasm this summer.  icon_smile

But really, what to expect from the director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake? The Seven Samurai? Lord of the Rings? Or a slasher film with Conan trappings?

I've seen the original film on cable a few times recently, and even that's pretty ridiculous, and humorless. Though as a John Milius film it does at least have the blind strength of its convictions. And of course, James Earl Jones' flying head.  icon_eek I don't get the impression this new take even has that conviction or some sense of demented fun to it. But perhaps it has more flying heads?  drool
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« Reply #83 on: August 19, 2011, 09:57:23 AM »

The Los Angeles Times liked it:

Quote
"Conan the Barbarian," starring the excellent rippling chisel of Jason Momoa, is brutal, bloody beyond belief, and has no socially redeeming value. So it is with a certain amount of guilt that I say it's kind of a wicked blast to watch, especially if you're in the mood for some righteous revenge.
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« Reply #84 on: August 19, 2011, 03:46:22 PM »

CNN did not have anything really positive to say: http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/18/conan.movie.review/index.html?hpt=hp_bn5

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« Reply #85 on: August 19, 2011, 04:06:14 PM »

Does anyone really care about reviews for a Conan movie?  If you want to see mindless sword swinging action, you'll probably like this movie!  If you want plot and character development, I'd say you are barking up the wrong tree.
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« Reply #86 on: August 19, 2011, 04:08:09 PM »

Quote from: leo8877 on August 19, 2011, 04:06:14 PM

Does anyone really care about reviews for a Conan movie?  If you want to see mindless sword swinging action, you'll probably like this movie!  If you want plot and character development, I'd say you are barking up the wrong tree.

but the original was such a Nietzschian display of unfettered male virility!
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« Reply #87 on: August 19, 2011, 04:26:02 PM »

Quote from: leo8877 on August 19, 2011, 04:06:14 PM

Does anyone really care about reviews for a Conan movie?  If you want to see mindless sword swinging action, you'll probably like this movie!  If you want plot and character development, I'd say you are barking up the wrong tree.

+1

By Crom I will see this while drinking my ale (bud light)
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« Reply #88 on: August 19, 2011, 04:41:50 PM »

Quote from: leo8877 on August 19, 2011, 04:06:14 PM

Does anyone really care about reviews for a Conan movie?  If you want to see mindless sword swinging action, you'll probably like this movie!  If you want plot and character development, I'd say you are barking up the wrong tree.

and thats why "movies" like Transformers still sell so well, and its a shame...such a shame, since it could be so much more
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« Reply #89 on: August 19, 2011, 04:48:32 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on August 19, 2011, 04:41:50 PM

Quote from: leo8877 on August 19, 2011, 04:06:14 PM

Does anyone really care about reviews for a Conan movie?  If you want to see mindless sword swinging action, you'll probably like this movie!  If you want plot and character development, I'd say you are barking up the wrong tree.

and thats why "movies" like Transformers still sell so well, and its a shame...such a shame, since it could be so much more

+1

Why is the desire to have a decent story that's well acted the wrong response when discussing a film like this?  Are we so used to being fed crap that we now desire only crap?
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« Reply #90 on: August 19, 2011, 04:57:03 PM »

I don't know, sometimes a story sort of bogs things down when it comes to hack and slash fantasy...  Look at the story in "300"

So, you got Conan.  Is what he is.  A barbarian brute whose most redeeming quality is his ability to smash things.

And you give him a enemy..  Evil necromancer, some king, a lesser demon from the pits of hell?

And, he smashes it.

I don't even think the books had much more of a story then that.

Of course, after I see it, I reserve the right to say "that movie sucked"..    icon_biggrin
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« Reply #91 on: August 19, 2011, 04:59:37 PM »

I'd recommend you read some of the Robert E. Howard Conan stories, if you think thats all Conan is, because you are very very wrong
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« Reply #92 on: August 19, 2011, 05:08:56 PM »



HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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« Reply #93 on: August 19, 2011, 06:32:12 PM »

Quote from: Morgul on August 19, 2011, 04:57:03 PM

I don't know, sometimes a story sort of bogs things down when it comes to hack and slash fantasy...  Look at the story in "300"

So, you got Conan.  Is what he is.  A barbarian brute whose most redeeming quality is his ability to smash things.

And you give him a enemy..  Evil necromancer, some king, a lesser demon from the pits of hell?

And, he smashes it.

I don't even think the books had much more of a story then that.

Of course, after I see it, I reserve the right to say "that movie sucked"..    icon_biggrin

They obviously had much more of a story than that or else they would have been pamphlets.

but beyond that, do you really want to endorse just any story that has man with sword smashing things with no story to get in the way?  Do you want THIS



to become the norm for fantasy films?

Or would you rather we get Lord of the Rings level of storytelling and acting in fantasy films?

I have no problem with cheesy films.  I enjoy a matinee blockbuster as much as the next guy.  but I'm certainly not going to use the defense "it's a fantasy film, it's allowed to be monumentally stupid!" when talking about one.  love these types of films, but also recognize they are stupid at times and allow others to state that without decrying that they shouldn't be criticizing them.
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« Reply #94 on: August 22, 2011, 03:28:45 PM »

lol, I didn't even realize they'd done a remake - shows you how much it was off my radar. smile  I'm of 2 minds about the shallow story. As someone already mentioned, it was written by Howard in the pulp era, so if the plot doesn't follow that sort of formula the purest would probably be outraged. On the other hand, if they can keep inking decent stories for super hero movies like Ironman, Thor and Captain America , why can't they do the same for Conan. To be fair those characters comic book stories weren't quite as formulaic as Howard's writings, but they also weren't much above it.
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« Reply #95 on: August 22, 2011, 03:33:40 PM »

Well, 28 percent on rotten tomatos - While taste may vary, I suspect this movie is very, very bad.

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« Reply #96 on: August 22, 2011, 04:45:19 PM »

My local reviewer liked it.....



Does the new version use any of the old music because that was class stuff?
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« Reply #97 on: August 22, 2011, 04:46:30 PM »

I think the new version uses the heavy metal from the Dragon age commercials :-D
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« Reply #98 on: August 22, 2011, 05:18:50 PM »

Quote from: Razgon on August 22, 2011, 04:46:30 PM

I think the new version uses the heavy metal from the Dragon age commercials :-D

Nah, it is an orchestral score, but not at all memorable like the 1982 film.
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« Reply #99 on: August 22, 2011, 06:54:41 PM »

I was just kidding, since I was sure that bioware did the commercial for Conan as well ;-)

Btw, I looked up a few quotes from Howards Conan books, and man - while Conan was a simple man, he wasn't simple.

Quote
What do I know of cultured ways, the gilt, the craft and the lie?
I, who was born in a naked land and bred in the open sky.
The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king."

Quote
I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."

I love stuff like that, but realize its hard to translate to the screen. I just wished they'd try!
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« Reply #100 on: August 22, 2011, 07:04:30 PM »

Howard wrote for the pulps in his day, but the pulps in his day still made a large portion of our current writers look like hacks.   slywink

Asimov, Matheson, Bradbury, Bloch...they all started with or at least contributed to pulp fiction magazines.
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« Reply #101 on: August 22, 2011, 07:06:29 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on August 22, 2011, 07:04:30 PM

Howard wrote for the pulps in his day, but the pulps in his day still made a large portion of our current writers look like hacks.   slywink

So true!! I get chills at the "Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king." sentence...  The MMO Age of Conan actually manages to capture a lot of the spirit of Howards stories. Since they collaborated with the movie makers for the MMO expansion, to make them work together, I am kinda curious how that game will be

EDIT: Asimov is my favorite author - I've read a lot of his works, and stuff about him, and yeah, he wrote "pulp" but then again, science fiction wasn't very well regarded back in the day when these guys were writing. Now I need to look up Block and Matheson - never heard of them!

Editedit: oh - Bloch wrote Psycho!
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« Reply #102 on: August 23, 2011, 03:34:12 AM »

The thing is there were two types of Conan, Howard wrote excellently at times, however knew that when times were tough he could easily sell stories of sword & sorcery and the damsel in distress. These aren't the sum of the Conan stories, aren't nearly the best of them, but are still classically Conan.  While I haven't seen the movie, I suspect it is true to form for his 'starving writer' stories; it is unfortunate there are some fantastic tales that were passed over because the studios want to sell brawn, blood, & tits.  Apparently they aren't as good at it as Howard was.
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« Reply #103 on: August 23, 2011, 03:57:15 AM »

Quote from: Razgon on August 22, 2011, 07:06:29 PM


EDIT: Asimov is my favorite author - I've read a lot of his works, and stuff about him, and yeah, he wrote "pulp" but then again, science fiction wasn't very well regarded back in the day when these guys were writing. Now I need to look up Block and Matheson - never heard of them!

Editedit: oh - Bloch wrote Psycho!

Richard Matheson is probably best known for I Am Legend.  But chances are that if a tv show or movie scared you in the last half century his name is in the credits.  Amazingly prolific writer.  He's definitely one of my favorites.

Interesting fact:  Bloch used to be in a writer's circle of young authors mentored  in part by one H.P. Lovecraft.
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« Reply #104 on: August 23, 2011, 01:24:41 PM »

Quote from: hepcat on August 23, 2011, 03:57:15 AM

Quote from: Razgon on August 22, 2011, 07:06:29 PM


EDIT: Asimov is my favorite author - I've read a lot of his works, and stuff about him, and yeah, he wrote "pulp" but then again, science fiction wasn't very well regarded back in the day when these guys were writing. Now I need to look up Block and Matheson - never heard of them!

Editedit: oh - Bloch wrote Psycho!

Richard Matheson is probably best known for I Am Legend.  But chances are that if a tv show or movie scared you in the last half century his name is in the credits.  Amazingly prolific writer.  He's definitely one of my favorites.

Interesting fact:  Bloch used to be in a writer's circle of young authors mentored  in part by one H.P. Lovecraft.

If Matheson's name isn't in the credits, he probably influenced the person who is.  Love him.
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« Reply #105 on: August 23, 2011, 01:31:06 PM »

I have the complete short story collection of Richard Matheson (they have a set of paperback collections on Amazon that are fairly inexpensive) and in one of the introductions, Matheson talks about meeting up with Ray Bradbury in New York after Bradbury gave him some words of encouragement on his writing.   The greats back then all kind of congregated together at some point.
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« Reply #106 on: August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM »

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.
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« Reply #107 on: August 23, 2011, 02:35:00 PM »

what a disaster
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« Reply #108 on: August 23, 2011, 02:45:05 PM »

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.

if only they had waited for Arnie to come back.
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« Reply #109 on: August 23, 2011, 03:09:59 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on August 23, 2011, 02:45:05 PM

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.

if only they had waited for Arnie to come back.

Scene 1:

Khalar:  Now you will meet your god, Conan!  HAVE AT THEE!

Conan:  YOUR gods will be greeting you at the gates of...whoa, hold up a sec there.  I think I just pulled a hammie.

Khalar:  What is this "hammie" you speak of!?

Conan:  Seriously, come on.  Ah...I gotta walk this off.  Hold on.

Khalar:  Ah f....is craft services still set up?

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« Reply #110 on: August 23, 2011, 03:15:58 PM »

Quote from: CeeKay on August 23, 2011, 02:45:05 PM

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.

if only they had waited for Arnie to come back.

Don't think Arnie could have saved the franchise either. He's pushing 60. Do you really want to see a 60-something actor playing 'Conan' in a movie? This new movie just didn't get lucky. I'll surely catch it on BluRay down the line.
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« Reply #111 on: August 23, 2011, 05:30:54 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on August 23, 2011, 03:15:58 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on August 23, 2011, 02:45:05 PM

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.

if only they had waited for Arnie to come back.

Don't think Arnie could have saved the franchise either. He's pushing 60. Do you really want to see a 60-something actor playing 'Conan' in a movie? This new movie just didn't get lucky. I'll surely catch it on BluRay down the line.

Could have been awesome if done right. Aging Conan, still a badass.
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« Reply #112 on: August 23, 2011, 05:48:28 PM »

Quote from: Crux on August 23, 2011, 05:30:54 PM

Quote from: PR_GMR on August 23, 2011, 03:15:58 PM

Quote from: CeeKay on August 23, 2011, 02:45:05 PM

Quote from: rshetts2 on August 23, 2011, 01:44:20 PM

btw the movies box office take for its opening weekend was reported to be $10 million.  It cost over $90 million to make.  This thing is a colossal flop.  It will probably do decent on disc but its almost a guarantee that it will kill the Conan franchise for years to come.

if only they had waited for Arnie to come back.

Don't think Arnie could have saved the franchise either. He's pushing 60. Do you really want to see a 60-something actor playing 'Conan' in a movie? This new movie just didn't get lucky. I'll surely catch it on BluRay down the line.

Could have been awesome if done right. Aging Conan, still a badass.


This movie could have been awesome if done right. 
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« Reply #113 on: August 23, 2011, 05:55:28 PM »

They did a smaller budget (MUCH smaller budget as I didn't realize they spent 90 million friggin' dollars on Conan  icon_eek) of another Howard character, Solomon Kane.  This was a few years ago...but it was in production/sat on a shelf for a few years if I recall.  While not a disaster, they changed the character a bit so that he wasn't really just a puritan fighting against the forces of evil. They gave him a rather convoluted origin that I thought was a bit over the top.  I'm a huge Kane fan from years back, so I may be a bit too critical of any attempts to film his adventures though.

However, if you get the chance to watch it and you like a decent Sword and Sorcery tale, it's worth a viewing.  It certainly is better than the similarly themed Season of the Witch.
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« Reply #114 on: November 24, 2011, 06:11:39 AM »

Watched this tonight and wanted to like it, but it sucked.
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« Reply #115 on: November 24, 2011, 06:17:29 AM »

Really bad.  Saw it at a matinee a coupla months back.  Could not believe how choppy region to region was with no story about how they got from one area to the next.  And WTF was up with the bad guys not just killing the chick, ensuring their victory, instead of dragging her to the volcano-thingy.  They never said anything about having to drag her to the volcano-thingy.  Just that she had to die and they would take over the world.  Really stupid, drug out, ending.   
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« Reply #116 on: November 24, 2011, 09:44:30 AM »

I liked "Kull the Conqueror" with Kevin Sorbo.  IIRC Kull was another Robert E. Howard creation.  I guess Sorbo is just past 50, so he's no spring chicken, but still quite a bit younger than Arnold.  I always figured Conan was fairly old in the King Conan setting anyway -- definitely assume at least late 40s, possibly upwards of mid 50s -- although I don't follow Conan that much, so I might be totally off.
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« Reply #117 on: November 24, 2011, 11:07:49 AM »

Arnold is 64 already. Amazing how fast time goes by.

I admit I did enjoy Conan, quite a bit actually. Also like Kull the Conqueror, even the music track they had with it.

The warrior girl in Conan  (Rachel Nicols) has a new movie coming out soon called Raze. ("Fight club meets Hostel" they are calling it.)

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« Reply #118 on: November 25, 2011, 01:36:58 AM »

Quote from: leo8877 on November 24, 2011, 06:11:39 AM

Watched this tonight and wanted to like it, but it sucked.

Ditto.  Embarrassingly awful attempt.  It's so formulaic it should come with a glossary outlining ever cliche they used....unfortunately, that would triple the length of the movie.
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