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Author Topic: [Dating] Frequency of calls early on?  (Read 1148 times)
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Laner
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« on: October 25, 2004, 06:53:19 PM »

You'd think at 32 I'd have this stuff down, but the majority of my dating life prior to this year has been with girls I already knew well - friends, friends of friends, etc... people I already had a rapport with.  But this year I've been dating a lot of people that I barely know, which makes calling them up a bit tricky - particularly at the very beginning.  Once you've gone out with someone and said "yeah, I'd like to pursue this", how often should you call?  Of course the trick is calling often enough to show interest, without calling so often that you come off as clingy.... I'm just not sure where that line is - calls would be as far apart as possible in my perfect world, as I hate using the telephone, but chicks like to, y'know, TALK and crap like that... Tongue

Thoughts from the peanut gallery?

(And Matrix (if you're around), just shut yer word hole - I know what your answer is  :twisted: )
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zinckiwi
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« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2004, 07:45:16 PM »

Get her sober and pu-- damn, I always screw that up.

Call once a couple of days after a date to set up another, if so inclined. If you already have a date set up, no more than one hello/confirm call in the interim. If you don't like the phone, just use it to set up your preferred mode.
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Chesspieceface
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« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2004, 07:59:07 PM »

IME you've really got to go with your gut.  Each woman is different.  Younger girls tend to be more fickle and play more games.  Older women tend to appreciate the thoughtfulness a bit more, but take things more seriously.  

If you think she's not thinking about you, you are probably right.  Ideally what you will get is telephone reciprocity even early on.  You call, She calls, you call, she calls and so on.  If that doesn't show up, she's either seeing someone she likes better or she's super old-fashioned.  

I really think you can't go wrong just being straightforward and honest.  Treat her like a friend you are planning to meet up with and make the normal amount of contact for that.  I think it is in the man's interest to not get into lengthy phone conversations unless she initiates.  Even if it feels weird, it's important to make yourself in demand.  Always be nice, always be courteous, always be responsible, DON'T be easy.

my $0.02.

Good Luck.  I wish I was having this problem right now. slywink
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billharris44
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« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2004, 08:46:32 PM »

As frequently as possible, right up until she changes her phone number.

Sorry. Couldn't help myself.  biggrin
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Bob
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« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2004, 09:01:46 PM »

You should establish early on that you don't like to be callled, and that all correspondence should be via registered mail.
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kathode
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« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2004, 09:16:41 PM »

Watch Swingers - six days smile

Seriously, I like to send an email the day after the date, and call two to three days later.  As near as I can gather, that seems to be about the norm.
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Lockdown
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« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2004, 12:20:52 PM »

Every time you think about calling her, flip a coin.

Heads = Call

Tails = Don't Call


Women are so different, and so prone to change their minds as to "what they want", the coinflip method has as much chance as anything else does of "working".   And it saves your brain a lot of turmoil.

Best of luck!

LD
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LD

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Freezer-TPF-
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« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2004, 05:37:31 PM »

Quote from: "zinckiwi"
Call once a couple of days after a date to set up another, if so inclined. If you already have a date set up, no more than one hello/confirm call in the interim. If you don't like the phone, just use it to set up your preferred mode.


Yes, that is correct dating-mode phone protocol.  thumbsup

Once you shift into relationship-mode, things of course change.
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Greggy_D
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« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2004, 06:27:14 PM »

Every couple of days usually works.....remember.....be somewhat of a "Man of Mystery".  You gotta keep them interested and wanting more.  Also, don't wait until there is a lull in the conversation to hang up.   Excuse yourself and say your good-byes when the conversation is getting good.   Works every time.
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