http://gamingtrend.com
October 23, 2014, 03:39:02 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Blizzard Entertainment to Layoff 600 Employees  (Read 2222 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« on: February 29, 2012, 07:08:59 PM »

Blizzard Entertainment Announces Staff Reductions
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/blizzard-entertainment-announces-staff-reductions-2012-02-29
Quote
IRVINE, Calif., Feb 29, 2012 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Blizzard Entertainment, Inc. today announced that it has conducted a review of its business based on current organizational needs. Following a completion of the review, the company is conducting a global reduction in workforce of approximately 600 employees. The company anticipates approximately 90% of the affected employees will come from departments not related to game development. The World of Warcraft(R) development team will not be impacted.
Let the uninformed, fact-free rumor-mongering and conspiracy theory conjecture begin!!!!!!  paranoid

I also meant to highlight the last paragraph:
Quote
Blizzard's current development and publishing schedules will not be impacted. The company will announce specific release plans for Diablo(R) III in the near future, and it's continuing to drive aggressively toward beta testing for World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria(TM), Blizzard DOTA, and StarCraft(R) II: Heart of the Swarm(TM).

Blizzard also remains committed to maintaining its high standards of quality for customer service delivery. In addition, Blizzard is still recruiting and looking to hire qualified developers for a number of open positions. Further details are available at http://jobs.blizzard.com .
« Last Edit: February 29, 2012, 07:22:12 PM by Blackjack » Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: February 29, 2012, 07:12:28 PM »

I'll start...

Conspiracy Theory #1: Diablo III really will come out soon, and since the D3 full dev team won't be needed after release, it's time to trim the fat (so to speak). Could be true to a teeny weeny extent? I've seen many cases of devs paring down their teams just before or just after release.

Conspiracy Theory #2: The Activision part of "Activision-Blizzard" is pressuring the Blizzard part to cut costs. Probably not true, cause I remain convinced Blizzard only answers to itself.
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Scraper
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 3954



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: February 29, 2012, 07:13:29 PM »

How does Blizzard even have 600 employees to fire? Especially if they aren't firing anyone working on WoW?
Logged

" And they are a strong and frightening force, impervious to, and immunized against, the feeble lance of mere reason." Isaac Asimov
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3426



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: February 29, 2012, 07:15:43 PM »

Rittchard, I hate to break it to you: This was the DIII staff and the game is now 'indefinetely delayed'

Rittchard: 'NNNNooooooooooooo!' (/darth vader)

...

Read the article, and it stated that the people were all in non-game-developing positions and that all their upcoming releases are still on track. It still sucks, but looks like they 'trimmed the fat' elsewhere.
Logged
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: February 29, 2012, 07:29:48 PM »

Quote from: Scraper on February 29, 2012, 07:13:29 PM

How does Blizzard even have 600 employees to fire? Especially if they aren't firing anyone working on WoW?
Good question. According to this Coast Magazine feature on the company last year, the Irvine location alone has more than 1,000 employees:
http://www.coastmagazine.com/articles/blizzard-901--.html
Quote
Here, more than 1,000 employees including programmers, writers, voice actors, and designers move Blizzard forward in a comfortable, fun environment.
In terms of where do they have other employees, the article also mentions:
Quote
Blizzard Entertainment is headquartered in Orange County, but also has offices in Korea, China, Taiwan, France, and Ireland.
Some of those locations may be big data centers. Bioware located its European SWTOR servers in Ireland, for example.
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Ironrod
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3402



View Profile WWW
« Reply #5 on: February 29, 2012, 08:47:17 PM »

Quote from: Scraper on February 29, 2012, 07:13:29 PM

How does Blizzard even have 600 employees to fire? Especially if they aren't firing anyone working on WoW?

600 non-development personnel? That's about 550 too many right there.
Logged

Curio City Online - Weird stuff you can buy
Curious Business - The Curio City Blog
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: February 29, 2012, 08:52:28 PM »

I bet a lot of them had to do with Blizzcon, which isn't happening this year.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: February 29, 2012, 11:15:08 PM »

SHIT! My bud in tech support just disclosed he was one of the folks laid off  icon_frown, so you can probably guess that's one area that's affected. I suspected customer service would probably get hit hard. He's the one who got me into the D3 beta, among other things.

At one point many years ago he even tried to convince me to apply for a tech support job there too. But over the years, I got the feeling dealing with callers/e-mailers about tech support was sometimes... interesting.  icon_smile Given what a drama queen I can be here, or even in SWTOR Flashpoint teams, you can imagine how I'd respond to people yelling at me over the phone.  icon_razz

I assume Blizz gives decent/generous severance packages. I'm sure Bioware would hire some experienced tech support folks, but I don't have any idea if he wants to remain in that field.
« Last Edit: February 29, 2012, 11:25:19 PM by Blackjack » Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Arnir
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 973


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: February 29, 2012, 11:43:46 PM »

Quote from: PR_GMR on February 29, 2012, 07:15:43 PM

Rittchard, I hate to break it to you: This was the DIII staff and the game is now 'indefinetely delayed'

Rittchard: 'NNNNooooooooooooo!' (/darth vader)

...

Read the article, and it stated that the people were all in non-game-developing positions and that all their upcoming releases are still on track. It still sucks, but looks like they 'trimmed the fat' elsewhere.

I thought it said that around 90% would not be from game development.  That's still about 60 people that could affect development.  Or is the original article different from the quote? 


Blackjack:
Sorry to hear about your bud.

« Last Edit: March 01, 2012, 12:50:05 AM by Arnir » Logged

If the road home crosses any landscape features that include words like "forgotten," "void," "razorthorn," "shadowmist," or "doom," then I vote that we take a nap first.
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2012, 05:08:43 AM »

Thanks. I'm rooting for him to catch similar work at another dev. Only partially so he can keep helping me get into betas.  smirk

A couple times over the years I'd sort of half seriously suggest he consider applying for tech support work at another company and he'd laugh it off as "I'm at Blizzard, it's the best place in the world to work!" I know he loved it there, regardless of how tech support callers could be sometimes.

I guess his only limitation on his resume will be that all his experience is in PC games tech support (given that's all Blizz does). Multi-platform's all the rage now. I dunno though, maybe tech support is tech support and the experience on platforms doesn't matter?
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Travis
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 181


View Profile
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2012, 05:10:12 AM »

I figured it would be support.

As a former director of customer care, I can tell you it gets hit first.  When large companies try to increase profit, they look at cost centers.  They often first try to turn these into profit centers (for example, issuing chargebacks to suppliers for a late shipment is usual in the operations world; charging for support is a tactic close to call centers).  Once that fails, they just start cutting.  They usually don't cut anyone that is looking to bring money into the organization, but a big mistake made over and over again is to not give credit to the value of support and only see it as a waste of money.  
Logged
Travis
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 181


View Profile
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2012, 05:12:52 AM »

Quote from: Blackjack on March 01, 2012, 05:08:43 AM

I guess his only limitation on his resume will be that all his experience is in PC games tech support (given that's all Blizz does). Multi-platform's all the rage now. I dunno though, maybe tech support is tech support and the experience on platforms doesn't matter?
Usually at that level of support being able to demonstrate how quickly you can learn new areas is more important than they direct experience.  Sometimes, in fact, the direct experience *can* be frowned upon.  You don't always want a know-it-all type of support agent.  Especially when you are concerned they may not adapt to new ideas.
Logged
kronovan
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 7930



View Profile
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2012, 05:28:27 AM »

Conspiracy theory 3: while this may be true
Quote
The World of Warcraft(R) development team will not be impacted.
that doesn't mean the WoW maintainence or support staff aren't unaffected. My speculative guess, is that many of the layoffs are related to WoW which in the face of quality, truly F2P MMO's, has now started to loose subscribers; probably in sizable numbers.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2012, 04:24:21 PM by kronovan » Logged
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2012, 01:31:34 PM »

I should hasten to add that my to-be former Blizzard bud had gradually morphed into a mostly non-PC gamer over the years. Aside from Blizzard's own games and the occasional other MMO (he was playing SWTOR recently), he got sick of the PC upgrade game and pretty much seemed to play only XBox360 and eventually PS3 games.

It would kind of annoy me because, for example, I'd rave about the co-op in Alien Breed Impact (PC) and suggest he get it so we could do some co-op and of course he'd run out and buy... the XBLA version.  disgust icon_razz I'd be mock upset, and he'd be like "Why would I mess with a PC game if I don't have to?" or "Why would I play online when I can just invite someone to my house to play it together?"

I'd think "Don't you see the irony that you work in tech support for one of the few big PC games-only companies and yet you don't want to play games on PC anymore?"  confused

When he started there in 1999, the first Diablo and the first Starcraft were what he was doing support on, and I think you could count the tech support staff on a couple hands. His name has been listed on all the credits from Diablo II onward. It has been interesting to see just how much longer the list of tech support folks would grow with each title since then.

He really did work at an EB for years in the 1990s and mostly hated that. But he loved talking about games.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2012, 01:34:29 PM by Blackjack » Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
TiLT
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 6617


Preaching to the choir


View Profile WWW
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2012, 01:54:20 PM »

Quote from: Blackjack on March 01, 2012, 01:31:34 PM

I'd think "Don't you see the irony that you work in tech support for one of the few big PC games-only companies and yet you don't want to play games on PC anymore?"  confused

Perhaps it's the same kind of thing where someone who works at McDonald's doesn't want to eat there any more? slywink
Logged
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3426



View Profile
« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2012, 03:23:31 PM »

Quote from: Blackjack on February 29, 2012, 11:15:08 PM

SHIT! My bud in tech support just disclosed he was one of the folks laid off  icon_frown, so you can probably guess that's one area that's affected. I suspected customer service would probably get hit hard. He's the one who got me into the D3 beta, among other things.


That sucks. You would think a job at Blizzard would be a secure job, by the way SCII sold and WoW is still going strong. Guess there must've been a decrease in profit last year. That may also explain the cancellation of Blizzcon. The recession finally hit Blizzard?
Logged
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2012, 03:24:40 PM »

Quote from: TiLT on March 01, 2012, 01:54:20 PM

Quote from: Blackjack on March 01, 2012, 01:31:34 PM

I'd think "Don't you see the irony that you work in tech support for one of the few big PC games-only companies and yet you don't want to play games on PC anymore?"  confused

Perhaps it's the same kind of thing where someone who works at McDonald's doesn't want to eat there any more? slywink
Keep in mind he loved all of Blizzard's games (not cause he worked there, he just truly enjoyed playing them) and never got tired of playing them, but that's in part cause they aren't "system crushers" that require mega videocards or a new system.

It's more he got tired of feeling he had to buy a new videocard or PC every time some hot new shooter came out he wanted to play. I understand the feeling, though given my motion sickness issues I've basically retired from FPSs (Dead Island will probably be my last).

Or even something like Company of Heroes was a system-crusher at the time of its release (2006). I tried to get him into that, but it seemed like another game he couldn't get running effectively on his system and he didn't want to play the upgrade game anymore. Me, I recall driving to three different CompUSA stores to find faster (and just plain "more") RAM to put in my PC to get COH running better.  icon_cool

I haven't found a good fast food metaphor that works for his precise situation.  icon_smile
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
msduncan
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 2993


Roll Tide!!!!


View Profile
« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2012, 04:45:36 PM »



Blizzard is pulling in, what, somewhere in the neighborhood of $149,900,000 per MONTH on the 10 million subscriptions to World of Warcraft.

That's a huge layoff for a company that is making that kind of cash.
Logged
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #18 on: March 01, 2012, 05:34:27 PM »

As an award-winning former business editor (OK, you can poke holes in that because I never won a writing/reporting award icon_razz), I usually try to translate corporate speak for you mere speakers of... understandable English...

Quote from: Blizzard
"Constant evaluation of teams and processes is necessary for the long-term health of any business.
[Translation: "Holy shit! We bought too many ping-pong tables and gold plated toilet seats for the office!"]

Over the last several years, we've grown our organization tremendously and made large investments in our infrastructure in order to better serve our global community.
[Translation: "Holy crap! We bought too many damn buildings and data centers and support centers! What were we thinking?"]

However, as Blizzard and the industry have evolved we've also had to make some difficult decisions in order to address the changing needs of our company," said Mike Morhaime, CEO and cofounder of Blizzard Entertainment.
[Translation: "Holy moly! We put all our eggs in the WoW basket!"
"And holy double-shit! What's with all this multi-platform game crap! We missed the boat!"]


"Knowing that, it still does not make letting go of some of our team members any easier."
[Translation: "We're so upset about these layoffs that our executives are all going to eat one less catered sushi roll at lunch today. Maybe even tomorrow. They might even play golf on a public course."

We're grateful to have had the opportunity to work with the people impacted by today's announcement, we're proud of the contributions they made here at Blizzard, and we wish them well as they move forward."
[Translation: "We'd keep them but they worked here too long and now they make good salaries. So long, don't let the door hit you on the way out, guys and girls!"
There, now you've got the real scoop.... maybe.  smirk
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
zinckiwi
Gaming Trend Reader

Offline Offline

Posts: 310


View Profile
« Reply #19 on: March 01, 2012, 05:44:56 PM »

Quote from: msduncan on March 01, 2012, 04:45:36 PM

Blizzard is pulling in, what, somewhere in the neighborhood of $149,900,000 per MONTH on the 10 million subscriptions to World of Warcraft.

That's a huge layoff for a company that is making that kind of cash.

Okay, I'll feed the troll slywink

Many of those 10 million subs pay less than US$15 a month. Some substantially less.

WoW subscription money is directly funding other projects.

I don't even want to guess at what it takes to keep WoW running. ISP connections, hardware, maintenance, monitoring...

Taxes.

Yes, we can assume that they make a great deal of money. But to imply that Blizzard has a hundred and fifty million smackers coming in every month is disingenuous at best. It would be nice if they didn't have to lay people off, but companies and their needs change over time. They can't hold onto everyone they've ever hired for sentimental reasons.
Logged
rittchard
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 4011


View Profile
« Reply #20 on: March 01, 2012, 07:10:53 PM »

Here's my cynical take:

Finally some signs these guys are also living in the real world. Not that I have ill will toward Blizzard, but the whole "when it's done" bullshit philosophy needed to be set straight.  It felt like as a whole, they were just getting way too full of themselves, as if they have unlimited amounts of money to burn forever.  It's just not a realistic approach to something like game development, where a product has to be delivered and sold.  In spite of WoW's success, it's just hard to imagine a development team of reasonable size can work on a product for TEN+ years and not produce an actual product; that's ten years of pure overhead burning.

This kind of puts the recent D3 changes in better perspective; they are probably being pressured to get it out the door soon, so counter to PR's post, I'm thinking release is going to come sooner rather than later now.  

Logged
PR_GMR
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 3426



View Profile
« Reply #21 on: March 01, 2012, 07:22:27 PM »

Quote from: rittchard on March 01, 2012, 07:10:53 PM

Here's my cynical take:

Finally some signs these guys are also living in the real world. Not that I have ill will toward Blizzard, but the whole "when it's done" bullshit philosophy needed to be set straight.  It felt like as a whole, they were just getting way too full of themselves, as if they have unlimited amounts of money to burn forever.  It's just not a realistic approach to something like game development, where a product has to be delivered and sold.  In spite of WoW's success, it's just hard to imagine a development team of reasonable size can work on a product for TEN+ years and not produce an actual product; that's ten years of pure overhead burning.

This kind of puts the recent D3 changes in better perspective; they are probably being pressured to get it out the door soon, so counter to PR's post, I'm thinking release is going to come sooner rather than later now.  



To expand on Ritt's take: They better release *something* this year. SCII and the last Wow expansion both came out in 2010! Nothing last year. Nuthin'!!
Logged
Knightshade Dragon
Administrator
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 21075



View Profile WWW
« Reply #22 on: March 01, 2012, 08:23:57 PM »

Couldn't have said it better rittchard - Blizzard is owned by Activision, and I'm sure they aren't content to sit around and say "Hey...you know...whenever you wanna release that, you just let us know, ok?"   I'm sure there are some soft deadlines, consolidation, and a dash of spin-down from finishing projects.  As they move into the console market and prepare to kick off their big mystery MMO next year, they will likely be hiring again soon, just in a different skillset.
Logged

Ron Burke
EiC, Director of Gaming Trend
Gamertag:
Gaming Trend
PS3 Tag: GamingTrend
whiteboyskim
Senior Staff Writer
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 7848


Hard partier


View Profile
« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2012, 08:35:17 PM »

Apparently a few billion a year in WoW fees doesn't get you what it used to, eh?
Logged

Behold the glory of my new blog!
Filmmaking is vision plus faith plus balls, all 3 of which Hollywood knows little about.
rittchard
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 4011


View Profile
« Reply #24 on: March 01, 2012, 09:16:00 PM »

Looks like it wasn't mentioned in this thread, but directly from Mike Morhaine's post:

Quote
We'll have exciting news to share in the coming weeks regarding Diablo III's release date
Logged
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 18582



View Profile WWW
« Reply #25 on: March 02, 2012, 02:28:40 PM »

Quote from: rittchard on March 01, 2012, 09:16:00 PM

Looks like it wasn't mentioned in this thread, but directly from Mike Morhaine's post:

Quote
We'll have exciting news to share in the coming weeks regarding Diablo III's release date

... it'll HAVE ONE! Tongue
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
Purge
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 18582



View Profile WWW
« Reply #26 on: March 02, 2012, 02:33:02 PM »

I think this may also have to do with timing. It's been four years now since Activision Blizzard (holding company for each autonomous company) was created. While everything Vivendi and Activision got melted into Activision, Blizzards structure was largely untouched - there may have been a term specified in the contract as such, and if it expired, ActiBlizz may now have more control over the operations in Blizzard.
Logged

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson
CeeKay
Gaming Trend Staff
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 71766


La-bibbida-bibba-dum! La-bibbida-bibba-do!


View Profile
« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2012, 06:35:12 PM »

Quote from: whiteboyskim on March 01, 2012, 08:35:17 PM

Apparently a few billion a year in WoW fees doesn't get you what it used to, eh?

gotta keep some reserved for those gold plated bidets.
Logged

Because I can,
also because I don't care what you want.
XBL: OriginalCeeKay
Wii U: CeeKay
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2012, 08:54:46 PM »

Quote from: Purge on March 02, 2012, 02:33:02 PM

I think this may also have to do with timing. It's been four years now since Activision Blizzard (holding company for each autonomous company) was created. While everything Vivendi and Activision got melted into Activision, Blizzards structure was largely untouched - there may have been a term specified in the contract as such, and if it expired, ActiBlizz may now have more control over the operations in Blizzard.
Yes, this is my biggest fear. But I still get the impression Blizz has autonomy or else for sure by now Activision would've forced out a Diablo III release.

As for my buddy, a quick skim of PC game-focused companies' job listings didn't show tech support at all (which I figure is largely outsourced to other countries now). There are quite a few QA testing jobs though most of those are temporary albeit some may be long-term temp.
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Blackjack
Gaming Trend Senior Member

Online Online

Posts: 10886



View Profile
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2012, 07:21:27 PM »

Pretty funny "Blizzard glossary" by a fan at D3 forums. While it's not related to the layoffs per se, it seems to sum it some of the feelings masses have about Blizzard these days.

Leaked - The Encyclopedia Blizzanica!  
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/4142248432
Pretty windy, so let's paste it into spoiler codes for 1-click access:
Spoiler for Hiden:
This artifact was recently unearthed in rural Albania. It is believed to be an internal employee handbook circulated around the Blizzard operating centre.

Accessible - Easily understandable by people who have never played a game before ever.

Activision (the) - A paramilitary organization that we merged with a few years ago. They seem nice, but we still aren't sure what the armored suits with the huge 'A' and skull logo are for. Or why our interns keep vanishing.

Annual Pass - A jumbo patch slapped over the hull of WoW to prevent further subscription leakage. Promising a free copy of D3 and access to the MoP beta, many fans only saw 'D3', 'free' and 'Beta' and jumped on board.

Andariel - We designed this boss to kill players who spent too much time staring at her...assets to avoid her nova.

Asmodan - The Lord of Sin. We believe he is in charge of managing the microtransaction department at present.

Baal - The Lord of Destruction. We put this guy in charge of the department working on Boss Fatalities, the Mystic, Coloured Lighting, Runes as Items, Skill Trees, Day/Night changes, dynamic weather and the 6th class. We stand by this decision.

Battlenet 2.0 - Disguised as a platform for which all of our games can be interconnected, it is really a clever way for us to eliminate all forms of communication amongst our customers, lest they conspire to ask for things like 'balance' or 'additional features'.

Beliel - The Lord of Lies. Currently employed as head of PR and marketting for Diablo 3.

Beta - Never has half an hour of game content caused so many people to go entirely apecrap. We need to find a way to monetize this.

Beta Contest - Despite our 'random is fair' opt-in process, we believe that forcing players to jump through hoops, sign up to social media they do not want and subscribe to gaming sites they have never even heard of is a far better idea.

Beta Patch  - A simple numerical increase with minor system twiddling purely to keep hype alive. 14 down, 28 to go!

Bobby Kotick - Currently believed to be the host of the prime evil Diablo. His coming marks the start of the Funocalypse - the end of all fun on earth.

Customer - A four legged plant eating mammal that produces milk. Our goal is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
Also see. Cattle.

Customization - Formerly referred to creating unique, fun characters through various schemes. However, this required forethought and permanent choices - two traits that we deem our customers are unable to possess. Thus, we have redefined "customization" to mean the singular ability to buy gear from the auction house and have the customers' characters hold said gear.

Diablo - The Lord of Terror. Currently occupying the form of the Sovereign, Bobby Kotick.

Diablo 2 - A hilarious experiment designed for griefers, bots, scammers and hackers. Hopefully if we give them this they will stay there and not bother the rest of our games.

Diablo 3 - A gothic ARPG themed Casino. However after removing transaction fees, the Activision is concerned that Diablo 3 will not be profitable and are holding it back while they find some ways to add Microtransactions to Boss Farming.

Duriel - No one knows how the real final boss of Diablo 2 snuck into act 2. His task was to frustrate the living hell out of casters and ranged characters before they got their decent spells. His full title is "Duriel: Lord of Pain in the @#!".

Forums (the) - These were designed to allow designers to feel like Greek gods, watching the misery and consternation caused by every word they spoke. Currently they serve as a wastebin for feedback, criticism and discussion so that we don't need to read it.

Inferno Mode - Our substitute for real endgame content. Players can enjoy running through the same content they have just completed three times, only now with higher numbers!

Lan - A false memory implanted by our competitors. The Lan never existed in any form and evidence to the contrary is part of an elaborate conspiracy. The technology just isn't there yet.

Loot - The centre of the gaming universe. These magical collections of pictures and numbers have in the past inspired lawsuits, murders, divorce, brawls, real money transactions, oral favours and tons and tons of QQ. It also follows laws of it's own that frequently differ from the laws of physics. Adventurers are frequently shocked the first time they swat the mosquito which has just landed on their ear and it proceeds to drop a three hundred kilogram battleaxe.

Mists of Pandaria - Our attempt to cash in on the Pokemon phenomenon and give WoW players a reason to pay 40$. If we can twist the arms of people subscribed to the 1 Year Deal into doing the same, fantastic.

Oceania - Much like the Lan, this does not exist. Players claiming to be from here are an anomaly and can be safely ignored for the purposes of Beta waves, maintenance times and server location. Why do sheep need servers anyway?

Polishing - Still overhauling key systems and fixing serious bugs.
See: Almost Finished.

Release Date - A mythical creature often discussed but never seen in the wild.

Runes - A powerful skill customization system for Diablo 3 aimed at letting players specialize and level how they wanted to. However the initial system was too complicated for Zarhym's Grandmother to understand and so we tacked on an arbitrary level requirement to the runes and replaced the whole thing with the skill system from WoW.

Starcraft - For some reason this became a national sport of a country. We are not quite sure how to undo this. Even taking 50% of the profits from tournaments hasn't discouraged them, forcing us to continue to balance and refine it. If you have any suggestions as to a replacement, please let us know.

Soon - Sometime within the next 5 years, although it may be longer.

Titan - The Titan Project started as a successor to WoW. However under the Activision we believe it has evolved into some kind of supersoldier experiment deep in the bowels of Blizzard HQ. We generally supply one or two test subjects a week and let them get on with it. Please ignore the screams.

Warcraft 3 - Where we get the majority of our World of Warcraft stories, engine and assets.

World of Warcraft - Our cash cow. For some reason we cannot quite understand not only will people pay 15$ a month to keep playing this, they will also spend as much on a sparkly horse mount or a server transfer. These days we primarily leave Jim and the new employees to keep an eye on things while fishing.
Also see: Cash Machine.

Zarhym - Blue Poster in possession of a bad $#! Grandmother!

Zarhym's Grandmother - She showed up one day and Zarhym suggested we make her our lead game tester for Diablo 3. We weren't sure...but she was such a nice old lady that we couldn't really say no.  Now Bobby says that all systems must be easily understood by her or simplified. We'll get on it once we get her to stop feeding the mouse and attempting to plug her typewriter in.

<Note: The Encylopedia Blizzanica is intended for entertainment purposes only. Any offense, anger or injury incurred are not the resposibility of the Starbird corporation.>
Logged

Playing
PC
-Wasteland 2 (post-apoc, turn-based squad strategy/RPG )
-Grim Dawn
-Gauntlet (4 player co-op dungeon arcade brawling)
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.152 seconds with 83 queries. (Pretty URLs adds 0.03s, 2q)