by Michael Tarlow
When did it become completely necessary for every single game to have some sort of a plot? I realize that you’ll hardly hear this statement from me but some games are just better left with no plot. Not quite sure what I mean? Check this out, straight from the back of the box: “You and your friends were the life of the party until a mysterious Soul Stealer showed up and turned you into tiny cars. The stakes are high – race for your life and save the lives of your friends or lose your soul forever. It’s a high-speed chase and you are in the driver’s seat to control your fate. Be sure you cross that finish line in time or you and your friends will be really running on empty.” Unfortunately, as much as I love ridiculous analogies to cars, no ridiculously stupid plot could save this game. Ok, yes, I understand the PSP is capable of PS1 graphics, but just because it is capable of PS1 graphics, doesn’t mean the game needs to look like it flew straight off the console around the time of “Tomba!” or games of the like. The graphics are incredibly uninspired and don’t really do the PSP justice. Without powerful next-gen chipsets within a handheld console, developers really need to infuse style into a game’s artwork. Unfortunately, whoever developed this game felt there was really no need for style, just flat out 3d graphics portrayed in 90% of the old stale last-gen racing games that people aren’t still playing. We’ve all seen ways to innovate the genre, Burnout innovated with its flying parts and sparks between cars, PGR used extreme detail in real cars, Forza let you infuse your own style into a car, and Test Drive put the beauty into the scenery around you. Pocket Racers does not innovate, it just rips off micro machines, and it doesn’t even rip off Micro Machines well. The graphics are just drab, and the levels are not at all interesting. If you’re looking for graphics, this isn’t it. I didn’t really notice the sounds or the music much as far as this game goes. The music is entirely just one forgettable track after another. There is in total not much of a soundtrack. Other racing games have managed to rip out amazing licensed soundtracks using many different indie artists or a set full of hit artists. This game does nothing of the sort, in fact it seems as if nobody was even trying to put together a soundtrack for this game and ended up slapping a bunch of loops into a program and pushing “Create Crappy Soundtrack.” The sounds… well… do the job, but the sounds are really nothing special. Oh, you can hear the cars, the weapons, the stupid voices, and everything else but it really isn’t that important and you’ll be perfectly aware of that if you attempt to play this game.
The controls in this game are a bit iffy as well. The cars control sufficiently, but they don’t control intuitively, and you don’t feel as if you are directly controlling the car yourself. The nubbie stick, as it has most of the time, makes this racing game a tad annoying to control, but the controls in general don’t really even attempt to help that out. The cars control like any old racing game but they lack a feel to them that games like Burnout can achieve. This is the major point in any game, and the major point where this game fails. Besides the fact that you’re attempting to loosely follow a ridiculous and completely unnecessary storyline, you probably won’t even find the game itself to be that fun. The whole game consists of you scrolling through a menu, getting into a race that lasts a really short amount of time and is easily won, and getting “soul gems” or something ridiculous in order to free your soul from a car that looks like the offspring of a retarded Hot Wheels figure. If you want to say that the plot “enriches” the game, I will completely disagree with you. How in the hell does winning races around various points in random places help you win your soul back? Who the hell turned you into a car and why the hell don’t you go find him? Why the hell isn’t the story mentioned at any other time in this game? This game was simply made to make you the consumer weep for his lost money. This is the major point in any game, and the major point where this game fails. Besides the fact that you’re attempting to loosely follow a ridiculous and completely unnecessary storyline, you probably won’t even find the game itself to be that fun. The whole game consists of you scrolling through a menu, getting into a race that lasts a really short amount of time and is easily won, and getting “soul gems” or something ridiculous in order to free your soul from a car that looks like the offspring of a retarded Hot Wheels figure. If you want to say that the plot “enriches” the game, I will completely disagree with you. How in the hell does winning races around various points in random places help you win your soul back? Who the hell turned you into a car and why the hell don’t you go find him? Why the hell isn’t the story mentioned at any other time in this game? This game was simply made to make you the consumer weep for his lost money. I would not buy this game. Why would you buy this game? Do you throw money at people? I sure don’t. If you like mediocrity and stupid storylines, this game is definitely for you.
